Went to funeral for my uncle yesterday. Was there crying my eyes out and not really all that able to walk after when my brother makes a fuss over my choice of clothing. Simple pink shirt and black dress pants. So he pushes me outside as he wants me to leave, since I wasn't all that steady I was in no shape to drive.
So after he pushes me I push back when he punches me in the mouth really hard.
Two missing front teeth and an $83 dental bill later I'm sitting at home kinda scared I'll be attacked again. My father wants to do a family meeting to "settle this" so for now NO I will not charge my brother with assault.
Am I doing good? No actually I'm still in shock about it. Dorothy is helping as she can.
Comments
What was he thinking.?
So he pushed you outside why? Is your father supportive?
Why didn't you call the cops when it happened?
Big gentle hugs
There's nothing I can say.
Just big gentle hugs.
Sigh...
Grover
did anyone else see
that could be used as witnesses?
at the very least evil brother should be on the hook for medical bills.
Asault is asault is asault.. no ifs ands or buts
I feel sorry for you tels but to hit someone so HARD as to break several teeth is assault, possibly CRIMINAL assault IMHO.
I only ever broke two teeth in my almost 55 years, clumsy guy I am, and that was a fall of a bicycle into a metal car bumper.
I NEVER broke another bone in my life.
This was not an accident.
IF you truly believe it was a moment of stupidity and feel he deserves a break...he still MUST pay for ALL your dental and other expenses related to this AND publically apologize.
THIS was not your fault. Don't let him make you think it is. YOU are the victim, HE is the perp.
Period, End stop.
GHOD I hope this doesn't cause you more pain down the road, tels.
John in Wauwatosa who is TOTALLY PISSED at your so called brother
John in Wauwatosa
Sadly it seems family are
Sadly it seems family are less tolerant than the rest of the world. Not sure what a sit down will solve, other than to unite against the jerk. I'm so very sorry tels and I am sending prayers your way that it works out.
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
And you think you have problems
Punching you in the mouth is the action of a bully and a coward. I say bring charges of assault against him o that it will at least be on record against him. If he did it once, he will do it again to you, or someone lse.
May Your Light Forever Shine
It's up to you.
Ultimately it's up to you. That said, punching someone for turning up to a funeral so hard they lose two teeth is completely unacceptable, and anyone who thinks that's OK is slime of the earth.
Anything that lets him off the hook is likely to be interpreted as approval and could lead to escalation. However, I don't know your family situation and how you want to deal with any other family members who may be significant to you.
I don't know what your juristiction is like, but it may be possible to report it to police and not press charges with a view towards applying for a restraining order against him. That might not help if family are on his side, because then they may choose not to invite you rather than not invite him. Other options may be pressing charges but asking for clemency - for example, requesting that a conviction be recorded and costs be paid but no jail time (maybe some community service? Again, it depends where you are.)
Regardless I'd be reporting it to police right now and saying you need time to decide wether to press charges. That's fairly normal in most locations when dealing with domestic violence, which this is likely to be classed as. At the very least talk to the police or a lawyer about your options.
Do be aware in some locations that if he assaulted you primarily because of your minority status (ie, TG) it may automatically qualify as a hate crime and may have a minimum sentence attached.
Maybe if your father wants a meeting, pointing some of this out before any meeting would be useful. Point out that if you're not satisfied by suitable grovelling in front of the whole family then he will be up before court charged with a hate crime with the very real probability of jail time.
Grief...
...you were already in a very vulnerable place and then to be attacked; not by a stranger but a family member. I cannot even begin to imagine how much pain you're under. I hope and pray that the family meeting goes well and you're heard and respected. I am so sorry you had to go through that and you remain in my prayers.
Love, Andrea Lena
I'm doing what I can
I only wish I could do more.
Why did he do it?
Why did he push you to go outside? Then why did he hit you? Has he a history of violence towards you? Is he homophobic? Can the incident be reported without making charges yet?
Sorry to hear about it, families can be strange, hope you feel better soon.
Angharad
I don't see reason not to sue at the moment.
It is just wrong to punch ANYBODY in the face. If he is not aware of the fact, he should learn this hard way through court, covering for your medical bills for forever as any kind of problem can be linked to being hit in the head, maybe jail time as supplemental reminder.
(83$ dental bill? Where do you live? Where I live one root canal could be two times more...)
Anyway, your brother should pay dearly for ever touching you.
Sorry if it does not match your outlook... I am quite manic ;-)
(I'm not spiteful, I'm just evil and have a good memory)
Your brother is an thug,
Your brother is an thug, report him to the authorities, otherwise the next time it might be a lot worse.