She was thankful her son's more feminine look was confined to the weekend. He still wore the black eyeliner and the earrings to school to school, but no sign of the the lipstick, light makeup or the nail polish. His clothes, the jeans and the black shirt, they were pretty much gender neutral.

Her son's "new look" unnerved her a little bit, but she was more concerned about his safety if he dressed more girly at school. For now, she was somewhat comforted by what one of Jacob's best friends description.

"He's just considered one of the punk-freak crowd," Micah Dutton told her once when she ran into him at the store. "They're pretty much left alone. I think everyone's kind of afraid of that kind of crowd after what happened at Columbine."

"You're very reassuring," she sarcastically told her son's one time friend. She honestly thought he was a bit young to know anything about the tragic shooting at the Colorado high school more than a decade ago.

Micah and Jacob were inseparable from preschool until just a few months after the assault.

"People change," Jacob told his mother as to why he no longer hung out with Micah. "I still consider him a friend. We just don't hang out."

She told her son about the Columbine remark just to see what he'd say.

"Oh please, Mom," Jacob snapped back. "We're not that kind of a group. We're not going to all of the sudden going to gun down our classmates. Micah just doesn't understand. You know why we don't hang out anymore? Because he don't know what it's like to live through a Law and Order SVU episode."

That was the first time in a long time she'd heard him remotely mention what happened to them. She wondered how much that came into play with the changes he seemed to be going through.

"People cope in different ways, Liz," Joan told her during one of their therapy sessions. "It may explain why he's suddenly has more of a dark personality. It may explain why he seems to be taking an interest in more feminine things, I don't know. He sort of shrugs things off. He won't tell me about Jade. He won't tell me about this mysterious boy who bought him the ring."

The therapy sessions consisted of his mother going one-on-one with Joan. Jacob also had an individual session. And then they had a family session. Both Liz and her son went to rape support groups. Joan led Liz's group. But a young woman, Heather Myers, led the support group for teenagers.

"We try to keep things confidential in our group," Heather told his. "But I can tell you he's starting to open up some. It was hard for him at first, you know. He's the only boy in the group. I think he's just now beginning to get comfortable."

Wednesday was support group day for the both of them. Liz normally came up wiping away the tears from her group. They normally went for yogurt afterwards and even a little shopping.

She noticed at the yogurt shop that Jacob was wearing the ring.

"Let me see," she said as she pulled his hand away. He seemed to be trying to hide it from her.

"You know, it is pretty," she said. "You don't have to hide it from me."

Jacob cracked a small smile and pushed a few strands of hair out of his face.

"His name is Lincoln, in case you're wondering," Jacob said.

She was stunned, to say the least.

"Do you...well...like him?" his mother asked. "I mean, you don't have to answer if you don't want to."

"I sort of do," he said, being a little coy. "You don't hate me for it, do you?"

"Jacob, I don't hate you for something like that," she said. "You know me better than that. But I am worried about where that might lead."

"Don't worry, Mom," Jacob said. "I like him. But I really don't know in what way I like him. Is that weird?"

"No, I think that might make you a normal teenager," she said.

Her son cracked a smile again.

"I've missed your smile, kiddo," she said. "What do you say we go shopping? I know I promised you a new pair of jeans."

"Can I get a new shirt, too?" he asked. "The gang is supposed to go see The Hunger Games this weekend."

She told him that would be okay. He also told her he still had some of his birthday money his grandmother gave him.

"I'd like to get a pair of boots," he said.

"Since when do you wear boots?" she asked.

"Like now," Jacob said. "I really think they're cool."

She wondered if he was going to surprise her with anything else, like a request for a nose piercing, or a tattoo.

But she was glad he seemed to be in an upbeat mood. Of course, she was in for another surprise when they got in the car. She pulled out her lipstick as she looked in the rearview mirror to freshen up.

"That's a good color Mom," he said. "You don't mind if I try it?"

"Well," she said as she pushed his hair back. "I guess it won't hurt any."

Liz wondered if there would be any stares as they walked into Stringers Department Store. But Jacob had been in there before with black lipstick, and her lightly pink lipstick wasn't nearly as pronounced.

They got a buggy out. She asked Jacob to "humor" her as she picked something out in the women's department.

"No big deal, Mom," he said. She was surprised he offered her honest opinions and seemed to be interest in her taste.

" 'Gag, me', that's what you used to say," she said.

He laughed.

"I was what, 10?" he asked. "And you did sort of dress dorky back then. But you're a little more hipper now."

"Gee, thanks," she said sarcastically. "Guess now we can head over to the men's department and pick you something out."

Even though he wasn't large for 13, she couldn't believe they no longer shopped for his clothes in the boys' department.

"Actually Mom, I saw a pair of jeans over in junior department," he said in a tone of voice that seemed a little coy and a little begging.

"Are you sure?" she said. She thought, but didn't say, that it was the teenage girls department.

They went over to the jeans rack. To her relief, none of the jeans Jacob looked at were really girly. They could easily pass for stylish boys' jeans. Liz had no problems with the jeans Jacob settled on.

"And these shirts will go nicely with them, don't you think?" he said as he pulled two shirts off the rack. It was a two-for-one sale.

"They are cute," she said. They weren't earth-shattering tops. But they were girls tops nonetheless. And she was very surprised he knew what size he needed. He also picked out a metallic belt to go with the jeans.

"That wasn't entirely the word I was hoping for," Jacob said. "But I like them."

He put them into the buggy and walked over to the underwear rack.

Jacob looked a little embarassed. She walked over to him.

"You're not serious," she whispered.

"You said I needed some new underwear, that mine are getting holes," he said.

"I know, but I don't this is what I had in mind," she said.

He sensed her disappointment.

"I'll go get something in the boys department," he said as he walked slowly in that direction as if he were facing a firing squad.

Before he could get over there, he heard someone call "Hey Jade!"

It was Lincoln. He was looking at sneakers in the shoe department.

"I'm here with my Mom, too," Lincoln said. "She's around here somewhere."

Jacob motioned for his mother, who tried not to be over obvious in spying on her son.

"Mom, this is Lincoln," Jacob said. "I told her about you today."

"Nice to meet you, Mrs. Hunter," he said.

He was somewhat punkish like Jacob's other friends. He was almost 15 and a little more physically mature than Jacob.

She was stunned by how polite he was. She over heard him whispering an apology to Jacob about calling him Jade in front of his mother.

She noticed Jacob blushing.

"Text me later," Jacob said. "I've got to go pick out some boots."

"I will," Lincoln said. "Your Mom doesn't mind I'll be hanging with your crew for The Hunger Games does she?"

"No, I don't mind," she said.

Jacob was still blushing as Lincoln walked away.

"No need to be embarrassed," she assured her son.

This was turning out to be an interesting trip shopping.

"You tell me about Jade and I'll let you pick out a pack of panties," she whispered to her son.

"Deal," he whispered back.

In his support group, they talked about new beginnings, a finding of a new self, a new voice.

Jade, Jacob told his mother, was his new voice.

"But why a girl?" his mother asked.

Jacob told his mother he couldn't explain it.

"I just roll with it," he told his mother as he picked out a pair of boots in the women's department,
"Raven has a pair like these," he said. "I thought they looked cool on her."

She wondered how much of Jade Jacob would show as he picked out a small a small purse to go along with the clothes, and some makeup.

"Being Jade, Mom, helps me make it through the day," he said sobbing as they returned to the car.

Jade was a warrior, about like Katniss Everdine, his heroine from The Hunger Games. Being her helped him fight the nightmares "about that moster who stole my virginity."