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Today is 365 days since I officially became Holly Happy hart.
But with leap year, it will be tomorrow.
And I've been using that name here for 4 years and 31 weeks.
But it is over 68 years since I arrived here under a different name.
There are times this past year when I've wondered if I should have changed my name. Why?
I need to find work, and I have quite a few strikes against me.
1. I am, as mentioned, 68.
2. Two years ago, I passed better, ( except for my voice), than I do now. But my illness made it harder to pass. I've lost over 8 inches from my hips, 7 inches from my waist, and better than a cup size, from almost a B to maybe a AA), from the breasts I've had for over 50 years. Why? My body devoured itself when my cancer and the problems leading up to it made it impossible digest food properly.
3. I have a fifty year job history with a male name, and the HR departments of none of the companies know about Holly, though my last two supervisors do.
4. My most recent hospitalization cost me 3 interviews, as the positions were filled before I was in shape to interview or be able to start work. All three positions meant a lot of standing, which I could not do before this week, ( or maybe, next week. )
Other than that, I am happy living as ME, Holly, which I have been doing full time outside of work for several years. I don't regret it, but I wonder if it may have already cost me one job, and if it may in the future, especially as I am changing careers, I do not expect, nor do I want to try and stay in high tech manufacturing engineering now. I got to where I was too specialized, too 'over-qualified' for a much lower paying position outside of high tech. However, I hope that I can use my age and new location in my favor, as Indianapolis is not a hotbed of high tech.
It is something to keep in mind for anyone wanting to change their name, whether or not they go all the way to get the surgery. I've spoken to a few other girls who have found the same thing, though they point out that after a few years to create a new recent job history, the problem goes away.
Added 3-11
IF I can get a job that does not require interfacing with customers, I WILL PRESENT AS ME, NOT HIM.
Comments
Birthdays
I have several...one is the day I first came out from my mother, another is the day I first came out to my friends.
It's 26 years
since I changed my lifestyle officially and being in a relatively small profession I'm pretty sure the grapevine would have spread it within days. However, it hasn't stopped me from working and I'm in face to face contact with the public every day. My colleagues have either forgotten or choose not to remember my special status. Mind you, no one batted an eyelid when one of my colleagues left her husband for another woman and then after divorce had a civil partnership ceremony. So maybe, they're used to having weird colleagues.
Very few jobs are gender specific so being transgendered/transsexual shouldn't stop anyone from doing most things. Obviously issues of (perceived) vulnerability of a contact group eg working in a dress shop where customers might be undressed could cause problems, but then things are changing all the time. In many areas anti discrimination legislation makes it illegal for employers to bias selection against transsexual applicants, although I'm sure there are ways round the laws for a determined employer, who might see such a candidate as a liability.
Angharad
Specifics
I did my best to cover that sort of thing in my first submission here, the overlap between Then and Now. It came to light again when I was on a seminar about government procedures regarding people like me, and my 'certainty' was introduced to Prison Service reality. In short, we can dream, and we can campaign, but sometimes there is no choice.
I have worked in jobs where I faced the public, but ...
... always as a guy.
If I could have afforded to stay in California, I would not have worried about facing the public as a woman tenor, though maybe so, after the cancer and its after effects masculinzed my face so much.
But here, though I have not personally run into any problems, I have to take into account that the area is not as trans friendly, and most of the jobs I am looking at are in fast food or other restaurant jobs, where I would be up close and personal with the public. I have seen two instances here where a customer has gotten upset and vowed never to return when they realized, ( or thought they did), that a server/salesperson was trans. In one case, I was able to hear the salesperson complain to the manager that the customer was wrong.
But, in any case, I do not want to be responsible for driving customers away, so I will continue to present as male, even though I will use the name Holly.
I have been called sir, or Mr several times in face to face encounters, even where the other person knew my name was Holly, so I guess a 'guy' named Holly doesn't seem that strange.
It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.
Holly
Thank You, Holly
Happy Birthday,and thank you for all your help.
Portia
Happy birthday Holly, hope
Happy birthday Holly, hope you have a nice day, the only thing I'll say about names is never let anyone else dictate what your name should be, my old boss caused me to choose a name I was unhappy with, I spent years stuck with the name because trying to gain acceptance from friends and family doesn't work if they think you cant even pick a name and stick to it. Although I have now sorted with my friends/family that I'm to be called Lizzie, I haven't yet had chance to sort it officially due to cost, yes I could do stat dec but I want it more official this time so intend to do by deed poll.
Anyway point is only ever change your name to make you happy and comfortable, if you do it because others expectations you could end up unhappy.
Looks like we share the same month for our birthday although mine isn't till monday to be honest 34 was no different than 33 so I doubt 35 will change anything lol.
Lizzie :)
Bailey's Angel
The Godmother :p
Is it my first birthday, or ...
Your first under new name, so go and have fun being a big kid
May Your Light Forever Shine
I'm just thrilled that you're here!
...your beginning, no matter how it happened, is a reason for celebration. My best to you, dear one! God bless!
Love, Andrea Lena
Happy Birthday!
Holly,
I wish you only the best today (and tomorrow (and tomorrow's tomorrow...)).
I'm really sorry to hear that the cancer has been so disfiguring. I've only known you as Holly, I rejoiced last year when I read your blog announcing the name change. I have counted it one of my life's great blessings that I was able to be with you last year as you moved from the Bay Area.
Even so, I rejoice today; you are still here (and no, it's not because I'd be losing my editor). Given the alternatives I suspect you are too... ;)
As to having someone call you Holly while presenting as a man, remember Holly can be a male name (though I'd never presume it).
Just for you, the stats on the male name Holly:
Population Statistics for Holly
Holly is used for boys 0.01 percent of the time.
Total* Population in Top 1000: 190808 (0.01% male, 99.99% female)
Popularity of the name Holly for Boys
First Year in the Top 1000: 1880 (earliest year for which we have data)
Last Year in the Top 1000: 1894
Average Age: 124.37
Highest Percentage: 0.007% in 1894
Best Rank: #783 (in 1888)
Represented in the Top 1000 names in: 4 of 127 years (3.15%)
Total* Male Population in Top 1000: 27 From NamePlayground.com
Now that you are finished (?) with your latest round of chemo, maybe you can gain some of that lost weight back! I still would LOVE you give you some of my excess weight, unfortunately they are no closer to being able to do a fat transplant than they were a year ago. In any case, think positive about this day. You are you and no longer do you need to answer to a name that isn't you.
You are in my prayers; I look forward to talking to you soon.
Happy Hollyday,
Beth
Happy Happy Birthday
Happy birthhday to Holly.
Rami
RAMI
yay to rebirthdays!
That's what I'm thinking I'll consider it when I officially become my real self.
Holly, you're a girl, no matter what the rest of the world thinks, you are woman. You're one of the most sensitive, caring people I know, and ALL WOMAN!
Hopefully as you recover from your battle with cancer you can get some of your figure back... Maybe you'll even be able to become a better looker ;P
Abigail Drew.
I'm 45 years old counting one way
about two years ago I first went to the sex assault center dressed, about a year and a half ago I went out in public alone dressed, and a year ago in May I got hired as Dorothy. Been a long, strange, trip.
Happy birthday Holly.