I talked with two of the people i was resisting telling about my forward momentum today. My Eldest Sister and My Father.
My eldest sister took it strangely well, but family does have the ability to surprise you.
Toughest for me was talking with my Dad... both he and my eldest sister knew about me from my awakening ten years ago, but in the ensuing time, both had put it way to the back of the important things file.
My dad called to ask about a message i had sent on my old facebook about deleting the old account. and i told him. he was calm throughout, i was a weepy mess (still am as i write this). i let him know that my outer self was what was changing, not my inner me. i told him, quite honestly, that if i didn't move forward, i would stop... as in stop.
He let me know that he had two daughters already and didn't want another, that i was his son. i let him know that would never change... but i had to be Diana or he wouldn't have a son or a third daughter... i let him know that i was doing this by the book and wasn't rushing (but for the way i procrastinate, by the book is lightspeed)...
I let him know that i loved him and always would, that it wasn't his fault for not being there more for me as a child, and how i wish i could have told him and mom a lot sooner, like when mom was still alive, but i was in the grip of fear then.
i know we have much more to say and do, but...
I told him.
Diana
Comments
Steady on your path.
You are wisely choosing the path of respecting your self and honoring who you are and not who others want you to be. It is a very brave thing you have done but a necessary one for your true self. May the Goddess bless you and ease your pain, you are truly making the best choice.
Love
Misha a fellow seeker on the path.
The only bad question is the one not asked.
*Huge, Huge Hugs* You my sister are so very brave:)
I for one and so happy and lucky and proud to have a sister like you in my life. Anyone who knows that you're the type of person anyone would want to have as family.
I Love You Diana:)
Bailey.
Bailey Summers
Another dear one among many here...
...who are heroines (and some heros) to me. I am so proud of you, baby girl.
Love, Andrea Lena
Huge hugs for you Diana,
Huge hugs for you Diana, telling family is probably the hardest step, families especially parents have expectations that we as their children try to live up to, problem is when gender/sex is involved we tend not to be able to live in their ideals of what or who they think we should be.
The only thing I can say is hang in there and give it time.
When I told my parents my dad refused point blank to accept or even respect my choice to transition, I was 17 at the time and living with them, when I moved out he refused to let me visit them en-femme. Sadly with no support from friends and family and no life experience a year later I reverted to make everyone happy but me.
I married at 21 but by 24-25 after discovering my wife had been cheating regardless of my efforts to be "the man" I decided my fake life was over, I again transitioned, my mom was supportive my dad again refused to even try to understand. I gave him time and slowly he began to accept, after a while he began to use my new name.
It all changed about a year and a half to 2 years after I transitioned my parents were on holiday in Cyprus, I was on leave from work and mom called a day after they arrived, she told me they wished I was there, that they missed me, so I packed a bag booked a flight and went. On arrival my dad hugged me tighter than ever, he was calling me sweetheart, we had a fantastic time and I think it allowed us to bond more than we ever had. I'd never been close to him, he's my stepdad and we never hit it off, he's been my dad since I was 3 but the connection was never there.
Since that holiday it all changed, I'm my daddy's princess and my momma's butterfly, point is I'm 35 next week, I had SRS several years ago and I'm closer to parents than ever, even my dads father accepted me too, in fact my whole family is happy for me.
It took time and patience, never push just be you, show everyone how much happier you can be when you're no longer pretending to fit others expectations. Keep hope that seeing you happy and at peace will allow those around you to realise you made the right choice.
Were always here for you too.
More huge hugs
Lizzie :)
Bailey's Angel
The Godmother :p
I'm so proud of you hon
You'll get there, hon. Do what you need to, and he'll come around (I hope)
It takes patience
and there are no guarantees, all you can do is leave the door ajar and let them come through at their own pace. If you get your sister on board, she might help your dad see the light.
Good luck.
Angharad
Angharad
Despite what they think
Some people (Hi Mom!)don't like to deal with people like us. It doesn't matter what I feel, or what I need. Apparently, my needs aren't important. I need to learn to conform to what other people think is right. Why? Because I migtht get bullied? I'm a 6'3", 400lbv former bouncer from downtown Detroit, and I'm told that I carry my weight well. Not many people really want to mess with me.
Anyone who has read my stories knows I'm a real nice guy, and I don't get upset easily. The guy that taught me to fight was a former Green Beret, and although he coluld pretty much kick my butt (and he's probably about 70 now-and most likely coulde still do it) I do know how to take care of myself.
So what gives someone the right to tell me how to live my life? Of course there'sw the unavoidable fact that everyone has opinions and assholes, but I ignore that. It's when the people we love reject us-that's hard, and it's sad.
Wren
Echoing the previous comments...
I've heard it said that the journy of one thousand miles begins with the first step. You'll ge there soon enough.
Peace be with you and Blessed be
Congratulations!!!
Diana,
You're a brave and deserving girl and the world always needs more of them! Welcome aboard the silk train.
Your friend,
Ole
We are each exactly as God made us. God does not make mistakes!
Gender rights are the new civil rights!