Annette MacGregor
There comes a time, as we approach our transition that we have to tell our Bosses. Well, I reached that day, today. *sighs*
I approached the meeting with more than a little trepidation! I know I have support of HR and all... But a hostile manager can really make things difficult... And, even an ambevilent one can make things challenging.
So - we met in a Duncan Donuts (neutral location). He knew I had something to talk about - and it was related to my medical leave of absense this summer... But, I don't think he had any clue what was comming.
We started out talking families (His oldest is 6...) and how everyone's doing. Eventually, it became necessary to come to the point...
I told him. "I'm a transexual, and will be transitioning this summer." Blunt and to the point... But then, there's really no way to sneek something like this across.
So he responded "You're fired."
No - actually, that's not what he said. Instead, what he said blew me away. "Wow. That's AMAZING for you!" And, he followed that by "What can I do to help?"
Like I said - I was blown away. I've only had one other "outing" remotely as supportive - when I outed myself to my cousin oh, so many years ago (A few days before the '08 elections... After we'd worked the evening on the "No on 8" campaign.)
The rest of the conversation was over detail. Such things as who else knows and will know... Who get's told and when - and such.
I'm still very amazed - and happy. What's next? I get to call my boss's boss - and set up a meeting with him. Then, two more after that... (To the VP... The division President doesn't have to be involved.) So - busy, I'll be... (I also need to finally decide on EXACTLY what my (full) name will be... It's down to a small list... And actually getting closer. :-) (MY mom's not happy with any of the choices... Her suggestion "If you have to change it at all, why not... " and then she provided feminizations of the name on my birth certificate (and suggested I keep the roman numeral at the end!) Oy, vey... That's NOT going to happen.)
For the few dozen who have been following this, thank you. Comments and questions are welcome. LOL They actually encourage me, so perhaps you'd best not. Else I might be encouraged to keep on talking about plans.
Thanks for reading.
Anne
Comments
Terrific...
...this has to be some of the best news I've heard in a long time; what a wonderful response. I pray that your continued coming out is as successful and encouraging.
Love, Andrea Lena
This is awesome news. I was
This is awesome news. I was actually expecting the more negative of the two outcomes...
Samantha
mom's and names...
Yours is even worse than mine! I didn't think that was possible!
Is she at all supportive or at least accepting?
Mine is getting better at the accepting bit... supportive, though, she is most definitely not. And the names she's been suggesting are all too unusual in my opinion. If I was a decade younger, they'd be OK, but at 26, names like "Audra Kai" would draw attention, which is the last thing I want. No one was naming their kids like that in the Midwest back in the 80s. Anyways, she's suggesting myriads of names and I told her if she can choose my name, meaning, just one new first and middle name, I'd be happy to use it. So far, that's not happening. If she can't select one before I start transitioning, I'm going to transition as Abigail Drew.
My mom's reason against Abigail Drew? Abigail is one of my niece's names. The one I'm closest to. She's got a different middle AND last name, AND she doesn't even appreciate the name. She's told me she has absolutely nothing against me becoming Abigail Drew.
*sigh*
Anyways, congratulations on the nice response from your boss! My boss seems to accept me, at least. She hasn't said anything to me about bulking up since I wrote her that note, at least. She's also not said anything about my wardrobe becoming increasingly feminine... Actually, she's harped on me about letting my work clothes get dirty lol. As though I can do anything to prevent it working outside! Before, she didn't seem to care how stained my clothes got.
Well... I really do enjoy reading about your transition... I'm happy for you that it's been going so well!
Abigail Drew.
It's not so much...
It's not so much that my mom's not accepting... She just has a few "blind spots"... She's said she'd even accept me if my skin turned green and I spouted a tail... :-) Seems she has a few hang-ups... And, the name's one of them. Oh, and my mom would really prefer I didn't do things that made people uncomfortable (like transition, or even talk about being TS. :-)
Anne
Wonderful news Annette,
Nothing like acceptance,congratulations.
ALISON
Road to myself 26
I think this mini-series of your transition exploits are wonderful. If only there was something like this when I transitioned. It's great to hear how these things go. I hear such horror stories, but I'm sure they are the exception. Good news is often hard to find when all the press wants to report are the bad things.
I think I've mentioned it before, but often a companies main resource is their employees. It is great to see a boss that not only appreciates the employee but is also supportive. The "What can I do to help?" bit just is mindblowing.
Now about that name. I already had my firstname, and kept my surname. My partner chose my middle name (I'd never had one when I was male).
Good luck with the paperwork in starting the name change etc.
Hugs
Karen
Making the change
Back in the dark ages of 1986 I went and saw our General Manager to see what the fates had in store for my career. He knew what was coming because someone I'd taken into my confidence told the powers that be. He was supportive as were the Chair and vice chair of the Health Authority, who came and saw me to give their personal support. I felt like I could walk on water.
The biggest problem was they wanted it over and done with asap, like tomorrow. I managed to get two weeks to prepare myself and canvass support throughout the organisation, perhaps the nicest thing was shopping with my ex to get some outfits to wear to work the weekend before I started in my new persona the following monday.
These days with anti-discrimination legislation, it perhaps is easier than it was in my day, however, it's still a hairy moment for any of us who get this far to see what's going to happen next.
Good luck, Annette I'm sure one of the reasons it's going so well is because people like you and want to help.
Angharad
Angharad
So happy for you
When I read "You're fired" -- my jaw dropped and my heart sank.
I'm so glad that it wasn't the answer -- that instead, he was supportive and positive.
Good luck and best wishes in talking with the others.
Thanks for sharing this... it was good news to wake up to.
Great!
I remember my boss...
We had joked a lot about transgender things over the years, which was my way of trying to put the topic on the table. I was chatting with him one day, and I mentioned that at some point I would be looking to take rather a lot of time off, all legitimately. He laughed.
"What, you're going to have a sex change?"
"Yes"
"Oh. Oh. Shit. You telling me you're gay?"
"Er, no. Transgendered. Saw the quack a while ago"
"Oh. Coffee?"
Wow, Anne, that level of
Wow, Anne, that level of acceptance blows me away, too.
But you had me going for a second there, until I read the following line.
Thanks for continuing to post your story.
Kris
{I leave a trail of Kudos as I browse the site. Be careful where you step!}
"What can I do to help?"
Wow. That's absolutely amazing. Good for you!
Dear Annette,
Congratulations!!!
Having an accepting Boss is so, so, cool. Sounds like your transition at work will start off good, at least. If your boss is representative of most employees or even just the intelligent/educated ones, you might well have an easy time.
I didn't do too well transitioning at work. My boss turned out to be transphobic; I also learned from a Black engineer that he and his cronies were racist, too. I didn't help myself, tho. Per my usual behavior, I withdrew and became depressed. I think I could have just talked to my boss's boss and straightened things out.
Thanks much for blogging about your journey; it's great to read of one of us succeeding! It helps that you can at least talk to your Mom. I bet she comes around eventually. Best of luck at everything!
Hugs and Bright Blessings,
Renee