Annette MacGregor
You know, there comes a time when things seem to happen REALLY FAST. It sometimes feels that way for me about now...
The number of people who know Anne is getting pretty large - and growing - at work, in the family and around town. And, this list is growing faster than I expected.
With HR's support, I've notified my boss that I'll be taking a medical leave of absence this summer... I also requested a meeting to talk to him and explain things. (HR's idea and support.) Then, there are three more people that will be told - over the next few weeks (my bosses' boss, his boss and his boss). Why, you may ask, when I'm not transitioning for a few months? Well, I'll tell you... It's an attempt to make the transition as smooth as possible. (It'd really be a problem were I to have to go out - the week before a system went live or some other time critical event. So, the management needs to know about the leave of absence for planning purposes... Okay. The notification was sufficient for that. But, my job can take me all over the country and occasionally elsewhere in the world. The division I'm in isn't that large - but we're really widely spread. So, they need to think over potential issues. (Corporate policy supports me, and state laws protect me ... at least where corporate HQ, division HQ and my office are concerned.)
I've learned that my older daughter's told quite a few of her friends - some of who are mutual friends (though, they're obviously closer to her)... And all of them are "good" with my transition. For a few, I'm not the first TS person they've known or the first to transition. My younger daughter's also told her current boy friend - and he's apparently also cool with it.
Then, while visiting here in the Houston area, I came out to one of my cousins... No problem again. But, the next morning, her mom asked her if I was TS... I was like *blink* where'd that come from? It's certainly NOT the long hair... She saw that last summer at another cousin's wedding. She said it wasn't anything I said or did. She put it off on the family history of "ESP"... (Yea, far to many have made off the wall guesses like this - been right - for a coincidence; sadly, not reliable enough to win the lottery. LOL) In any event, she's also more than good. She offered to talk to my mom - who's been avoiding the topic BIG TIME.
As to my parents... I've started phone conversations several times to tell them the time line... Only to have the conversation side tracked. (Oh, every time it's been a good reason - most recently, my favorite Aunt's cancer metastasizing throughout her body.) The Aunt even told my mom that I needed to talk. I gave up on trying to let them know over the phone and sent an e-mail. We'll see how things go when I "call home" this weekend. (Wish me luck.) Given my Christmas present (from my mom) I think they knew this was coming, but...
The only issue - in the short term - is with the Aunt... The doc's given her months (6-9) to live... That puts it after my transition. I'll cross THAT bridge when I come to it. There are a few members of the family that are expected to NOT be accepting, at least in the short term... And, my Uncle has Alzheimer's which will make things difficult as well. We'll see, talk, think... (Yes, I'm a tad afraid of the outcome when Anne appears at her Aunt's funeral.)
Back to life... The past five weeks, I've been commuting to the Houston, Texas area every week... Yes, stress on the family. I miss them so. But I've also been having trouble getting electrolysis sessions in. Such a long trek to a smooth face. Given how much and how coarse the hair was to begin with it's not surprising it's not gone yet... At least now I can go a few days without shaving and folks just think I missed a few hairs. So, light at the end of the tunnel.
What's next? I'll be starting the name-change paperwork in a few weeks... (I do have to finalize on a name, don't I. LOL) And, hopefully having another FFS consult (If the company insurance will pay for it, why not improve my passability?)
For the few dozen who have been following this, thank you. Comments and questions are welcome. LOL They actually encourage me, so perhaps you'd best not. Else I might be encouraged to keep on talking about plans.
Thanks for reading.
Anne
Comments
you're doing great
Everything sounds like its falling into place.
RtM 25
Hi
I think I might have said this before. The goal is important, but even more important is the steps on the way. It isn't just your transition, but people around you have to change too. It sounds like you work for a great company who have concerns about their staff. Remember in your line of work the staff are the most important resource (I suppose the product might count too).
My Granddad was in his 90's when I transitioned and really didn't get it. He had moved in with my parents when his wife died. I was visiting my parents and my Granddad turned to my Dad and said in a rather puzzled voice, "Why is (male name) wearing a skirt?"
He died a few years ago in his late 90's and there was the discussion about the funeral. There were a lot of distant relatives who hadn't seen me since the last funeral (mothers cousin etc) who didn't know about my transition. Nobody cared. Everyone was there for my Granddad's send off.
Karen
Congratulations on your progress so far
Annette, you seem to have the goal-setting thing down pat. Though you also have a very good support network. And that helps a lot too. I am still trying to get my goals to be SMART.
S - Specific
M - Measureable
A - Attainable
R - Realistic
T - Tangible
This acronym (or how ever you call this type of memory help) was taught in a leadership seminar class that I participated in 10 years ago. It is only now that this is slowly becoming part of my own modus operandi.
Congratulations to you on the progress of your transition! And thank you for sharing your planning and implementation processes with us, so that we can learn something from your experience.
Jessica
It sounds like...
...you're building up a veritable network of supporters! You also sound as though you've got a 'roadmap' planned of the stages you need to go through to get from A to B - and you're almost certainly applying SMART criteria (there are numerous expansions, but I was taught: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-limited) to every 'milestone' en-route.
Then again, it seems as though your dedication, attitude and communication skills are unfortunately likely to come into play for another reason entirely over the coming months when dealing with your Aunt and Uncle's respective medical issues.
As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!
This was good to read
It sounds like you're on a good path, and I'm glad that there are positive influences and reactions to what you're doing.
Big hugs,
Kaleigh