I've Got It!

There was a recent blog about significant people in ones life having dementia.

My dad died of Alzheimer's at age 72 in '96. There are family stories of men dieing from doing crazy things, in old age, in my dad's family. I think the family might be a hereditary propensity toward Alzheimer's. My mom has Alz now at age 87; she's almost completely gone mentally. There is no evidence that hers has a genetic component.

5 yrs ago I noticed some memory problems and saw my HMO neurologist. He said my problems are different from memory loss just caused by aging. Also, 25% of those similarly diagnosed have Alz in 5 years. Last year a different neurologist said the same thing. I think they don't want to pay for complex testing so they won't give a Alz diagnosis until one has dementia. Each year my mental problems have slowly gotten worse. I think I'm fighting it off pretty well with my diet, supplements and many hours of exercise; I think I also exercise my brain quite at bit by reading and writing, reading and trying to understand some of the new discoveries in science and by designing and fabricating mechanisms, mainly bicycle parts.

It is possible, of course, that my memory will gradually worsen, but I will never have dementia. I'm just scared that I have a genetic form of Alzheimer's, because of what has happened in my father's family. In that case I might not be able to escape dementia.

I am bad, however, with human contact. I talk with Kim a little each day, but we are into and worried about different things. Kim won't take her antidepressants and just gives these opinions much of the time that, I think, disregard fact and reality. Other than that, I don't have any friends. It's at least partly my fault because rejection by people and groups is just stressful and it's happened so much that I'm adverse to putting myself in a situation where I would get rejected again.

On the whole, this doesn't seem to be making me more depressed than I'd be otherwise, but I'm still fairly depressed. It also doesn't merit suicide. I get frustrated some times when I can't find things, I lose stuff around the house and have gotten worse at searching for my stuff. If Kim tells me something I don't later remember, I just tell her that, no big deal, it's just what happens. I think as this gets worse, I'll be dumber and just not care. All vertebrate, etc., life comes to an end one way or another.
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Hugs and Bright Blessings,ӬRenee