"How would you like to be a clarence? A green one?"
 

Green Sun
Chapter 6
Red Rod, Black Jack, Green Gray and a Boy Named Soo

by Donna Lamb

Ted o'Mersey enjoyed desk duty. As a former solicitor, it suited his soul to help keep the internal functioning of Heaven smooth. He even excelled at it, though he had also demonstrated a capacity for deviousness that made him a very effective field agent. He looked at the trim young man in the uniform of the US 10th Cavalry, circa 1898. "Corporal, it says here that you have another 428 years to spend in Purgatory." Ted quirked an eyebrow.

The young man did not flinch. "Yes, sir. I'm hoping for a work-release transfer."

Ted smiled. "I see your nickname among your mates was Red Rodney."

Corporal Rodney nodded. "There was another Rodney who was darker than me. He was Black Rod and I was Red."

"Because your hair is more brown than black and you've got freckles?"

"Yes, sir," said Rodney.

"Not because you were particularly bloodthirsty?"

"Sir, we were Buffalo Soldiers. It was a bloodthirsty business." He looked uneasy for a moment before he asked."Sir, I did want to know. The men I killed as part of my duty, Indians and Filipinos, mostly, a few white men in Cuba. Do those count against me? And, and, are any of them here?"

Ted frowned. "Deaths caused by soldiers in the line of duty are not usually counted as murder. So, yes, they count, but not so much and sometimes they count for, not against. It's complicated but fair, corporal. And a few of the men you killed are here in Heaven, but you're unlikely to meet them unless you go looking. Did that concern you?"

"A little sir," Rodney admitted.

"No worries, to borrow a phrase from Down Under." Ted smiled. "Would you be willing to work as a Guardian Angel? It's not as easy as it sounds."

"Sir, it would be an honor I had not hoped for."

"Hmm, mmm," said Ted. "I've got a recommendation from one of your commanding officers here."

The soldier looked briefly uncomfortable. "Which--uh, which one, sir."

"Jack Pershing," said Ted. "He says that you are a brave soldier who will do your duty and make him proud."

"Lt. Jack always was good to us. Is he here?" Rodney looked around.

Ted shook his head. "Jack is currently serving as a squadron leader in the Armies of Light on the far side of the Tomlinson Galaxy."

"He'd be good at that, sir," said Rodney.

Jack Pershing was good at that; and his Commanding Officer, Colonel Joseph, had already recommended breveting the cavalry captain to field rank. In his previous life, Jack had never worn oak leaves, jumping directly from bars to stars--some said by political pull. Ted didn't mention to Rodney that all of Jack's current troopers were former Red Sticks and Commancheros. Work-release programs were supposed to be designed to try the soul. Still, Jack looked as if he might be getting the first of his stars back before he turned 160, measured from his birth in 1861 Missouri.

Ted stamped the papers in front of him approved. "Welcome to the unit, Probationary Guardian Angel Third Class Rodney Clarence." He smiled. "You'll have to find out why your last name is so propitious; I'll give you a pass to the cinema later. I know you're familiar with the American Southwest, so we've made your first assignment there. I'm sure you will do well." He passed a packet of papers across his desk.

Rodney saluted. "Thank you, sir." He stepped forward but he still had another question, Ted could see it on his face.

"We'll consider your other request when we see how you're doing on this assignment, Clarence." Ted smiled broadly, enjoying the joke.

"Yes, sir. Thank you, sir." Ex-corporal Rodney Clarence picked up his new assignment and saluted again before executing a precise about face.

Ted watched him march off into mists and the glare of an Arizona summertime noon. "Next applicant, Bo Lim'nhee of the Grays." The tiny alien with the bulging eyes stepped forward. Ted frowned. "Why are you here, Bo? I know you died on Earth but you could have gotten an automatic transfer to your own people's afterlife, you know?"

"Sti oyot thilish sturoi mixi," explained the gray humanoid.

"I see," said Ted. "But, you know, you're not even the right phylum, don't you? And do you chaps even have genders?"

"Struh, amra 'at coro ralko."

"Really? I thought you were all gray."

"Vaska, sti ralko trast zir?"

Ted laughed. "What color gray indeed? Well, then. I know you're a movie buff so how would you like to be a clarence? A green one?"

* * *

David Soo Wilson kicked a rock and watched it sail over the vacant lot where his grandfather's grocery used to be. Davy had never seen the old man's store; it burned down fifteen years before his parents had even met. But it still had a place in family history. Not that Davy felt especially familial this particular summer Thursday; in fact, he felt a grudge coming on against his sister.

"No fair," he muttered. Just because Mandy had turned eighteen and could drive now, she got to go to the beach with her friends. And Davy couldn't go without someone to take him because he was only eleven. His parents had to work and had never heard of buses, at least, not for eleven-year-olds; his sister would not relent and take him along, she made fun of him for asking; and G'ampa Soo had had one of his arguments with the ghost of his wife and was sulking in the upstairs apartment.

Davy kicked another rock, trying to make it travel the entire length of the lot his family still owned; at least, his mom and his uncles did in the family trust. G'ampa Soo talked about rebuilding the grocery someday, like anyone shopped in little neighborhood grocery stores anymore. His mom and his uncles couldn't agree to sell it, though now that Mandy would be the first of the grandkids to start college in the fall his Mom had a new weapon in her argument.

But Davy didn't care, it would be too many years before he'd start college. Who wanted to go to school, anyway, and what was college but more school? No one cared what a kid thought. He kicked another miserable rock. "I wish I were all grown up like Mandy," he said.

continued...