On line friends are nice....but

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In my years of trying to connect with someone to be my friend and confident I've made many online friends, some just for a season, some for a particular reason and some who have been with me a lifetime.
I enjoy the blogs and the stories and I often comment or leave a remark on a blog. There are several here who pm me, but what I miss the most is face to face contact with someone who is like me.
I'm getting more mellow, today Delaware had its first same sex Civil Union, a while ago I would have commented negatively on the event. This Civil Union is special to me because I know one of the participants. The thought has come across my mind for many reasons.
Not having a face to relate to is hard and since I chose to be a loner most of my life, didn't want my personal space invaded. Like I've said I've mellowed.
I don't post my picture unless you go to my Facebook Page. I am having difficulty puttting stories together due to an ongoing mental illness.
I've done some things in my life I am not proud of, said some things that created distrust and also hurt people I enjoyed being close to with speaking before thinking.
I hope to be in San Diego in the fall for a military re-union, my last time there was 1968 for 13 weeks. I only saw the zoo for a Sunday Afternoon and then flew home the next day. I can say I really haven't been to San Diego because my time there was at the Naval Recruit Training Center.
I probably seem to be rambing to some, but long term thought process often eludes me.
I live in Delaware, between Dover, and Harrington and am willing to travel to meet people as long as I don't have to drive at night.
Thank you for reading this and thank you if you make a comment.

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Thanks for opening the door, may we come in?

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KristineRead's picture

Jill,

I know that we have not had a lot of interaction here on BCTS before.

I read your post tonight though, and for a number of reasons it hit me very close to home.

Outside of my wife and son, the only people that know about Kristy are those that I have met and spoken with here on BCTS. My wife and son are accepting, and they love me and that is not in doubt, but being transgendered is not something they can truly understand. So I have very much enjoyed getting to know several people thru the online medium of the chat room. But as you say, that is not quite the same as having someone you can meet with face to face.

But in addition to that, in many ways, your post could have been written by my wife, as she struggles with many of the same social challenges in dealing with people, that you describe. There are many walls that she has built around her to keep people at a distance, and I have to wonder how I was lucky enough to find her at the one time and place in her life when she really did let those walls down, long enough for me to be a part of her life.

Like you, she has lately been feeling a bit isolated and lonely and that her online friendships are not enough.

You say that you live in Delaware. My wife and I live in Northern NJ, which is not that far in the grand scheme of things. She and I discussed it, and if you would be interested, we could perhaps find a mutually comfortable public place to safely meet, somewhere in between? If that is too quick, we can certainly meet up in a chat room and get to know each other a bit better first.

Friendship always starts with a door being opened, and then seeing who walks thru. You've taken that first step of opening the door with your post, and Fanficwriter (she has an account here that she seldome uses) and I are knocking on the door, may we come in?

Feel free to PM me if you would like to pursue this. Whatever you decide to do, I wish you a happy and healthy new year, and the best of wishes in your quest.

Hugs,

Kristy

You have mellowed

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Angharad's picture

which I'm delighted to see and I hope the process continues and brings you contentment.

As for the same sex civil union, I think that everyone should have the right to officially tie themselves into a relationship with someone else regardless of what that other person is, providing both go into it with the intentions of making it work and willingly. It would be nice to live in a world where people could just be accepted as themselves without preconceptions or judgements and where love and support abounded. What's sad is we have the capacity to make it happen but not the commitment.

Angharad
Who wants to stamp out intolerance.

Angharad

Thank You Angharad

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I agreee with civil unions and same sex marriages. something I had to face with my own self denial. I would prefer a partner who is just like me, intersexed or transgendered and ready for a relatiionship. I would not mind being involved in a realatinship that could lead to a long term relations ship as a civil union or same sex marriage.
In my thirties I was taken by a male for sex, I resisted and then gave in to my own body and its reaction to the stimuli. That incident has haunted me for a long time.
I've been doing some inner closet cleaning and some heavy mulling. I don't fare well with genetic women, I can be their friend but nmot a lover. With another girl like me I can be a friend and lover. My encounter at age 32 was an awakening but I was in no position to accept that awakening so I have spent years in denail. I like girls like me and really do want that sort of a relationship.
Having an empty life is not beneficial and so I had to accept, not change, my sexual desires.
Boy did I certainly waste a lot of energy all those years. to think I could have been someones significant other and happy.
Thank you for your comment it did me good to know others have seen my change.

Jill Micayla
Be kinder than necessary,Because everyone you meet
Is fighting some kind of battle.

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