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Chapter 16
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Synopsis: 16 year old Darren, aka Nancy, and his mom travel to Mexico to see some nice doctors. This is the final chapter of Like Mother Like Son.

Mom was still asleep when I woke up, so I tried to be quiet as I got out of bed. I thought about the things she'd said the night before about being a monster. She was my mother and I loved her dearly, but she was right about being a monster. I thought about her as I picked my cigarette case and lighter off the nightstand and made my way to the bathroom.

I stood in front of the bathroom mirror and lit a Virginia Slim. It would have been an understatement to say I looked stupid. A 16 year old boy, in a night gown with falsies underneath, stared back at me with a woman's cigarette dangling from his lips.

The sight of me smoking in my mother's favorite nightgown would have turned me on a couple weeks ago, but not this morning. I was disgusted by what I saw. "You faggot," I whispered to my reflection. "Just look at you. You make me sick."

I don't know where the reaction came from. It could have been been because I didn't have my wig and make-up on. And then again, it could have been because of the way my mother had made me feel the night before.

With my cigarette clenched between my teeth, I hiked the hem of my nightgown and drained my bladder while standing. So ladylike, I thought to myself. And oh so temporary. I'd made up mind to ask the doctor to do the sex change surgery while we were down here. After that, standing while peeing wouldn't be an option. I cupped my balls in my hand and said goodbye to them.

Mom woke up when I flushed the toilet.

"Morning, Nancy!" she called from the bed.

"Morning to you too, Mom," I said as I dried the urine from my penis head with a piece of toilet paper. I hate it when silk gets water stained and urine is even worse than water.

Mom asked if I wanted a cup of coffee before I took a shower and I agreed that coffee would be nice. She was brewing it in the small two cup coffee maker when I came out of the bathroom.

"It shouldn't take too long for the coffee," Mom said as she lit a cigarette. She moved the ashtray from her nightstand to the small table next to the heater and took a seat. "So did you get any sleep last night?" she asked.

"Enough," I said as I sat down in the chair across from her.

"I'm sorry that I let things get out of hand last night," she said as she trimmed the ash of her cigarette. "I was just so stressed about today and I let it get to me. I'm sure you must think I'm horrible."

"I don't think you're horrible, but it did kind of catch me by surprise. I know you've said some weird things to me before, but last night was really weird. If you know what I mean."

Mom exhaled a cloud of smoke toward the ceiling and shook her head. And then she laughed and said the worst part was that she couldn't even blame it on drinking too much. "It wasn't like the beer went to my head. It was more like my brain threw up everything bad and awful." She looked at me and said, "I know I can't take back the things I said, but I do want to make sure you know how much I really love you and it doesn't matter what sex you are or how old you are. You'll always be my baby and I'll love you until the day I die and then some."

Seeing that the coffee was ready, I got up and poured us each a cup. "I know what you're saying and I know that you love me. And I want you to know its okay. I was thinking about it this morning before you woke up and I know why you said those things."

"You do?" Mom asked.

"I think about it the same way sometimes, so if you're sick then I'm sick."

"You're not sick," Mom said adamantly. "You're a wonderful human being and you're going to be a terrific woman. I'm already so proud of you that I don't know where to begin."

"No, its not like that and you know it, and I know it and Dr. Girardi knows it. I'm a pervert and a sexual deviant and I'm letting this stuff run my life. So don't act like its not true, and anyway, you're no better either. You said so you're self. We're both sick."

"Then what are we doing here, Sweetheart? It's not too late to put a stop to this. We can check out of our room and take a cab to the airport right now. We can make it home in time for dinner."

I shook my head and stubbed my cigarette out in the ashtray. "You know I can't do that, Mom, because you know I need to do this. I need to be a woman- an older woman like you."

"I know you do, Honey. But you don't have to do it today, do you?"

"Are you kidding? Do you have any idea how long I've wished for this to happen? You might be sick and weird but I love you and I've wanted to be just like you for as long as I can remember. This day was never supposed to happen, not because I didn't want it to happen, but because I thought it was impossible. But here we are in Mexico. I'm going to be a woman, Mom, with a body just like yours and a life just like yours. Everything you said about me is true, but like you said, it doesn't make me a bad person and it doesn't make me wrong for doing this. Its the right thing to do, at least it is for me. There's no way I could ever live with myself if I let this chance get away from me. I might not need to be a woman but I want it more than anything in the world. I really want to be a woman, Mom."

Mom sighed and smiled. "I'm so excited for you," she said.

*******

Dr. Carlos Rivera had a pleasant look about him. If I hadn't known he was a doctor, I might have thought he was a bull fighter. He just had that kind of swagger about him.

Dr. Rivera was a cosmetic surgeon and judging by the rings on his fingers, he did quite well at it. The man who would be doing my SRS surgery was Dr. Wang. He had a first name but I couldn't pronounce it. As you can probably tell by his name, Dr. Wang wasn't Mexican. He was Taiwanese or maybe Korean. I really wasn't sure. But he did speak Spanish, and that was a good thing because I don't speak any other language except for English.

An overweight balding man, who called himself Santos Ortega, was our interpreter. I suppose he was able enough, but his thick accent made me wish we had an interpreter for our interpreter.

It was actually kind of cool. With the five of us in the room, it felt like I was working with a team. Being the center of attention made me feel important. On the other hand, I felt kind of awkward because these guys had an air of machoness about them that came straight out of a beer commercial.

I remember when I was macho. But I didn't call it that. I called it studly. I wasn't feeling very studly in my high heels and skirt though. And my bouncing breast forms weren't much help in that department either. That was probably good thing though. After all, even though I knew they were in it for the money, I didn't want to give them a reason to delay the surgery.

I did my best to appear confident and assertive but in a feminine way. I didn't pound my breast forms when I talked and I never raised my voice.

I liked that they addressed me as Senorita Peterman, although I knew they were probably laughing on the inside every time they said my name. Oh, the mocking, but at least it was silent and respectful.

Oddly enough, the whole event was business as usual. Neither doctor seemed concerned or worried. They were just there to trade services for dollars.

Dr. Wang was the first to poke and prod me, although it was more like squeezing and fondling. He said something to Santos who relayed it to Mom and I in English.

"Dr. Wang needs for you to take off your skirt and panties so that he can examine you." He then asked if I'd be more comfortable if my mother left the room. He said she could come back after Dr. Wang was finished. I told him it was okay and that I wanted my mother to stay.

So there I was, standing in the middle of the room with my skirt and panties on the floor while Dr. Wang played with my testicles. Embarrassing? Yeah, I guess you could say that. It also tickled and kind of felt good.

All of a sudden, my mom broke into laughter and everyone turned to face her.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I was just thinking to myself, Dr. Wang is playing with Nancy's wang."

I caught my mother's joke and didn't appreciate it. The other three men just looked puzzled and Dr. Wang went back to his examination. Once he was done, he said something to Santos, who told me I could put my clothes back on.

"Dr. Wang says he can do the surgery. You will be a woman," Santos said.

Mom and I watched and listened as Dr. Wang, Santos, and Dr. Rivera spoke in Spanish to each other. When the talking was done, Santos interpreted the conversation for us.

"Dr. Rivera will do the cosmetic surgery first and when he's finished, Dr. Wang will perform the SRS. Both procedures should take about 18 hours, so you'll need to arrive at the hospital no later than 5AM. Do you understand?" Santos asked.

Mom and I told Santos that we understood.

Santos said something to the to the two doctors and then Dr. Wang smiled and bowed before making his way out of the office.

Santos told us that I would need to stay in the hospital for seven nights before I'd be well enough to go home. "She will have some swelling from the cosmetic procedures but that is normal and it will go away in about week," he said.

I asked them if they would really be able to everything in one visit.

Santos exchanged a few words with Dr. Rivera before giving me his answer. "The doctor says you will leave this hospital as an older woman. The two of you," he said as he pointed at Mom and I, "will look like sisters. That is what you want? No?"

"Oh yes," I said. "More than anything." I turned to the doctor and thanked him as graciously as I could.

********

Mom and I left the hospital feeling good about our meeting. Before leaving, Dr. Rivera gave us a description of the procedures he would be doing. According to Santos, Dr. Rivera would be one of five doctors working on my team.

I didn't understand everything they were going to do, but I did understand it would be painful, but I shouldn't worry about it because I'd be under anesthesia. However, once the anesthesia wore off, he told me I could expect a lot of pain and discomfort.

At first I thought they'd just be injecting me with fat tissues and damaging my skin with lasers. This was true, but there would also be a good amount of bone shaving to my chin and cheek bones. Dr. Rivera wanted to make sure that no one would ever be able to recognize me as Darren Peterman again.

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We ate dinner early because I was supposed to arrive at the hospital on an empty stomach. Mom and I talked about nothing except the surgery. We were both fascinated by what medical science could do.

"Isn't it amazing" Mom asked? "You're going to walk into that hospital as a 16 year old boy and walk out as a 46 year old woman."

I did think it was amazing. It was a miracle as far as I was concerned.

**********

Every thing went like clock work the next morning. We arrived at the hospital thirty minutes early, which gave me an extra 30 minutes to think about what I was doing. I sat next to my mother and looked up at the exit sign above the door. Exit is spelled Salida in Spanish.

I wasn't thinking about running but I told myself I could if I wanted to. No one was making me do this because this was something I wanted to do.

"Nancy Peterman."

I looked over and saw a nurse standing in the doorway.

"Its time," my mother said as she tapped my knee before getting out of her chair.

"Can you go with me," I asked?

"I can try. The worst they can do is to ask me to leave."

The nurse led us to a room and handed me a surgical gown. Her English was somewhat mangled but I understood that she wanted me to strip down and put on the gown.

The nurse closed the door behind her and I undressed in front of my mother.

"Let me take one last look at that rascal before they chop it off," Mom said.

I wasn't sure, but I think she was trying to be funny, so I gave her the benefit of the doubt by laughing.

Several minutes later, another nurse stopped by and she took my temperature and blood pressure. I assumed everything was okay, because she didn't say any thing about it as she wrote it down on my chart.

That nurse left and my mother and I spent the next 30 or so minutes waiting, mostly in silence. I felt like we should be talking and maybe she felt the same way, but I didn't know what to say and I guess she didn't either.

I was kind of relieved when another nurse showed up. She led me out into the hall and helped me on to a gurney. Mom followed as an orderly pushed me down the hall to the operating room. I felt my heart pounding fast.

Oh my God! What am I doing, I wondered. They're going to cut my balls of and make a woman out of me. This is so crazy. Its insane. Why in the world am I doing this? I must be dreaming.

I turned my head to the side and saw my mother walking beside me, keeping pace with the orderly. I told her I loved her.

"I love you too, Sweetheart," she said. "Is every thing okay? Are you feeling alright?"

I knew this was her way of saying I could roll off the gurney and make a mad dash for the exit. "Every thing is great," I lied.

A nurse stopped my mother as the orderly pushed me past two big doors. There was a man in a white coat waiting for me. He smiled and said something in Spanish. I heard the door open behind me and my mother and the nurse who had stopped her joined us in the room. Several words were exchanged between the doctor and the nurse. The doctor nodded and the nurse left.

Mom told me that the doctor was an anesthesiologist and that she was going to stay with me until I became unconscious.

The doctor had me roll over on my side and my mother held my hand as I felt a painful prick in my spine.

"He's giving you an epidural," Mom said. "I had one when I gave birth to you. Its only going to hurt for a minute or so and then you'll feel good."

"Is it going to knock me out," I asked.

"No, I don't think so. At least it shouldn't. I think he'll give you something else to put you to sleep.

The doctor covered my face with a mask after he finished giving me the epidural. I remember thinking that it smelled sweet, as my mother's face and her voice drifted over me in the far distance.

I thought I'd go to sleep and just pass out, but it wasn't like that. I guess you'd call it dreaming but it felt more real than that.

It's not like I've ever had a near death experience, but that was what it was like. It felt like I was dying and my life was passing before my eyes. And it wasn't just me who was seeing and feeling it. Everyone I ever knew was there and they knew everything I was thinking and they were seeing me for what I was. I felt exposed, ashamed, and remorseful.

I saw myself as a boy, living large on the football field and fucking girls in the back seat of my car. It was more than imagination. It was total recall. I'd been a boy and I'd been good at it and I had enjoyed it. So why was I doing this to myself?

Someone hit the rewind button on my brain and I saw my self as a little boy of 5 or 6, sitting on my mother's bed and watching her smoke as she put on her make-up. Was my little penis hard? I think it was, but I didn't know why.

The scene changed and I was still a young boy but I had done something wrong. Mom and I were back in her bedroom and I was leaned over her lap with my naked ass exposed. I saw the two of us in her mirror as she spanked my bare bottom with a cigarettes clutched between her teeth. I should have been scared or at least in pain, but the expression on my face was full of wonder and awe as I watched her smoke and spank me in the mirror. She looked so strong and powerful and I loved her for it. Did she feel my little penis poking against her thigh?

Several years passed and I saw myself alone in my parent's room, going though my mother's dresser. I felt the smoothness of her silky panties against my fingers. What would it feel like to put them on, I wondered? I urged my younger self to stop but he didn't hear me. I watched in horror and anger as the little boy took off his clothes and replaced them with his mother's silky garments.

What would my life had been like had I resisted, I wondered?

I saw the little boy eyeing his mother's pack of cigarettes. We both knew they were bad, but neither of us could resist the need to slip one out of the pack and hold it the way we'd seen our mother do thousands of times before.

Did I think I looked pretty and all grown up waving that unlit cigarette in the air as my little penis poked out against my mother's panties?

God help me. Make it stop!

There I was in my bed, a couple years later, jacking off into a pair of my mother's panties while thinking about Mr. Elden, my father's friend. I remember that night well because it was the first time I had ever fantasized about an older man fucking me. I imagined my parents were there in the room with us, applauding and cheering me on as Mr. Elden fucked me hard, the way I imagined my father fucking my mother.

A sense of remorse filled me as the little boy ejaculated into our mother's panties. We both knew what we had done and felt ashamed.

I watched the little boy and listened to his thoughts as he aged before me. I felt the excitement in his groin as he yearned to dress like our mother and be like her. I watched him as he spied on Mom and Mrs. Jackson and Mrs. Estes as they sat around the kitchen table smoking and gossiping. I felt his desire to join them at the table as their peer, dressed like them and smoking like them, and talking about all the things that older women talk about.

I saw myself on a date with Madison Bulloch, kissing her and thinking about how she was wasting her life by not taking up smoking. If I had been a girl I would have started smoking in a heart beat, and some day when I was older, I'd be a woman like my mom, smoking and puffing, and looking pretty and fucking.

Oh God, help me. Make it stop…but it didn't stop.

Although it had never happened, I saw myself standing in a room surrounded by everyone I knew. I was dressed in my mother's clothes and smoking a cigarette for them all to see. The looks on their faces said it all. They were disgusted and so was I.

Why did I want to be a woman….an older woman, like my mom? Why was I so willing to give away my life as a boy and my future as a man? Why was I in such a hurry to grow up?

I saw my self sitting on the edge of my bed holding up a bra to my flat chest and I asked him why? Why do I want to do this? Why do I want to be like Mom? He laid the bra on his lap and looked up at me, and that was wrong. He shouldn't have been able to see me, much less hear me or talk to me, but there he was, looking me in the eye and shaking his head.

"You did this to us," he said. "This is all your fault. You ruined my life. You ruined our life."

"But why? Why do I want to do it?" I asked. "How come I can't stop by myself."

He sneered at me as if I was dog shit under his feet and said, "Don't ask me. Ask Mom."

"Ask me what, Honey?"

I don't know how my mother got there because I didn't see her come in, but she was standing beside the bed, next to the boy who was myself. She was smoking a cigarette and looking at me as if I was crazy, which I most certainly was, but she didn't have to look at me like that. Didn't she know how bad I was hurting?

"Why do I want to be like you?" I asked.

Mom took a puff from her cigarette and exhaled the smoke into to a giant cloud that filled the room. I felt myself coughing and hacking and gasping for air. I couldn't see her and then I did.

Her face was blurry, but it was my mom and she look both happy and worried. "Oh my God," she said. "Darren! Can you hear me? Darren, wake up!"

"Where am I?"

"You're in the hospital, baby."

"The hospital. Did they…? Am I….?"

Mom bit her lip and wiped a tear from her eye. "Yes, sweetheart. You're a woman now."

I moved my hands from my side and reached for my balls and my penis, but they were both gone. A wave of emotions fell over me as I realized the gravity of the situation. I'd gone to sleep as a boy and had woke up as a woman.

A woman! Do I have breasts, I wondered? Of course I do! They blocked my view of the door. "Is it okay to touch them," I asked.

"Yes, sweetheart. Its okay. You're all healed. We were just waiting for you to wake up."

"But I thought I was supposed to sore. And how come there aren't any bandages on my face. Didn't Dr. Rivera say I'd be all blistered and everything."

"You were all blistered but there was a problem during surgery. You almost died, honey."

"But I'm okay now?"

"Yes, Sweetheart. You're fine, but you've been in a coma."

"A coma? For how long?"

"Tomorrow would have made three months," she cried. "I thought we'd lost you."

"Its okay, Mom. I'm okay. You don't have to cry. Everything is going to be alright now."

"Are you hungry?" she asked.

I told her I was starved, but that before I did anything, I wanted to see myself. "Is there a mirror?" I asked.

"In a minute or so," she said. "I think we should probably tell someone you're awake. I know the doctor is going to want to talk to you first."

"Is something wrong, Mom? How come you won't get me a mirror? Was there another problem with the surgery? You know…besides me not waking up and every thing?"

"Its nothing to be worried about, Darling. Its just that you've had a lot cosmetic surgery done and well…you don't look like your self and it might come as a shock. And I just think we should wait a while, until you've been awake a little longer. The important thing to keep in mind is that you're a woman now and you'll never be a boy again, and that is what you wanted. Isn't it? Please tell me its what you want."

My mother was scaring me. Was there something wrong? Obviously something had gone wrong during the surgery, or else I wouldn't have been in a coma for three months.

She asked me the question again. "Please, Honey. I need to know. Do you still want to be a woman?"

I asked her if I had a choice. "Can the doctors do it over again and change me back?"

"No," she said sadly.

"Then yes, I want to be a woman. It's okay Mom. Its what I wanted. You didn't do anything wrong?"

I took her hand in mine and she started sobbing, which only scared me more.

"Mom. What's wrong? You can tell me. Am I ugly? Is that it?"

"No, Honey? You're not ugly."

"Then let me see."

"Okay then," Mom said as she picked her purse off the floor and rummaged through it for a compact.

My breath grew more shallow as I anticipated the worse. She opened the compact and held the mirror up to my face for me to see.

THE END

Author's Note: This is the final chapter of, "Like Mother Like Son". However, its not the end of Darren Peterman's story. Remember when I asked for comments about what age Nancy should be? One reader suggested ending this story and making two different endings. I liked that idea, so that's what I'm going to do.

Be on the look out for:
1) Like Mother Like Sister
2) Like Mother Like Mother