Christmas time seems to be the time of year when the truly Lonely people are even more then usually alone.

I know why that is but it doesn’t change the fact.

Most people who have intact families are drawn back to them and they seem to gravitate to heartwarming thoughts and warm fuzzy feelings of love and family, and yes this is a right and proper thing. It is so nice to hear of those really genuine feelings being expressed and shared, I even like it.

For those of us who do not have families that care and/or are close knit, it’s a time of pain and depression and yes even some bitterness.

However these feelings seem to you, they are at least true for those of us who have lost the closeness of family, or the love of a partner.

I would want to share in those very real and happy feelings of closeness and warmth. But the in-escapable truth comes roaring back too quickly to allow false hopes and cheer to penetrate deeply enough to have an effect.

I know that some of you will understand what I’m speaking of. To others, well we just appear as the “Grinches that stole the Christmas spirit”.

I, myself try not to let people become infected with the sadness that I feel during this time of year, I really don’t want to be the one who brings sadness to those who can get excited and feel happiness and joy at this time of year.

I turn down offers of “come have a Christmas drink at my house” or “we’re exchanging gifts on Christmas eve and you could come if you want” . I know they mean well, but being there makes me feel like I’m a third wheel and I don’t want to bring them down when they should be feeling joy and love at this time with their families and friends who can also share in the closeness and joy of having people who care and love you.

I used to have all those things in abundance ..I loved Christmas, but that was many years and many trials ago.

I would like to think that I can get the spirit back and heal from the pain of all life has dealt. I’ll have to see — I’m not closing myself off. I want love back in my life, I want the closeness and caring back. At times I’m desperate to get them back, to ease some of the pain and heartache that is a daily pill I swallow. Or choke on.

My heart goes out to everyone who can enjoy this season of Holidays the way it should be enjoyed, with laughter and friends, joy and love, kind feelings to everyone.

My sincere hope is that EVERYONE has a joyous and Happy Holidays, I really believe that we need that is this world.

I also hope this small cry hasn’t ruined anyone’s joyous feelings. I just needed to write this to erase some awful things that seem to have culminated this past week….

I’m very sorry …

“Be Excellent to Each Other” (corny but true)

Danielle_O