Mark Johnson is a 42 year old man who has suffered in his life. From the loss of his soul mate to what seems like protecting innocent people from pain. Is there a reason for this ? Will he come to grips with what seems like his reality as it starts to slip around him?

I was on my home from work after a long day. I was looking forward to enjoying my evening watching the sunset. As I came
up on the underpass to the highway I take to get to my house and I silently swore to myself as I saw the pick-up slide
straight towards my door, through what would be a red light. Then I thought, man this is going to hurt. I can tell with
my no nonsense attitude that I was right, it did hurt all the way from where my head hit and broke the door glass down to
my feet being bounced around with the pedals.

As I sat there coming back to my senses I could tell that there were several people screaming, I couldn’t make out what was being said. My car was still nice and warm; in fact I was starting to sweat. And it smelled like there might be a fire somewhere. It seemed liked something should be getting my attention but I guess when I hit my head it slowed down some pathways. When I saw the smoke coming out from under the hood the pathways started to open up real quick, and I decided I should be getting out of my car even though they say stay in it in case you are hurt. When I grabbed the seatbelt release and pushed the button and nothing happened I was franticly thinking about how to get out when I remembered I had my lock blade with me. After I dug it out of my back pocket and cut the belt, I made my way out of the window that my head got out of the way for me.

Once I was out and able to look around I was able see that there were 5 cars involved, it looked as if mine was hit the worse. I than saw a young woman that was about 18 or so trying to open the door of a smaller car so I went to see if I could give her a hand, once there I saw that she was trying to get a small boy, given the color of his clothes, out of the car. Seeing that the door was jammed I had her cover his face with the blanket and then using my trusty lock-blade again I held on to tightly and hit the window which shattered into all the little bitty pieces that safety glass is known for. I then reached inside dragged the cute little fella pulled him out and showed him to his mommy. When I looked into her face I didn’t see happiness like I expected, but terror and she was pointing behind me. Thinking one of those instant thoughts of do I really want to look behind me, but knowing that I will anyway. I turned to look behind me, now I wish I hadn’t all I see is the word “Peterbilt”. Oh, I know this is going to hurt. I turn and try to put as much of me between the child and the truck. I remember being kicked and then warmth.

I remember when I was around 10 a friends dad beat and molested her; all I wanted to do for her was to take the pain away make her feel better. I remember watching T.V. with my parents asking why there was so much hurt in the world. They said that they were sorry but didn’t know why. I also asked why anyone would want to hurt a child. They told me mostly it was people who were sick.

When my friend’s dad was sent to prison I did my best to help her. We became best girlfriends, though I never let my dad know that part. From that point on though I had a dream, or wish maybe. I wanted to take the pain away from some innocent person who just because of who or what they are they get pain inflicted on them. I would love to be able to inflict the pain back, but I am not capable of making that call sense I am human. My other wish is to be my friend’s girlfriend, but that can never happen now. When her dad got out on parole on his third day he killed her after raping her. So you can see why I would willingly accept others pain to keep them from having to go through this. I’ve had a great life haven’t I? I haven’t told you about the times I have been beaten and called names since I was 5 years old have I. Oh, and for the record it has been going on for 42 years I’ll be 48 in 4 months.

One thing about the past, go though it once and it hurts just as much every time after that. I just wish the p-shrinks realized that. Oh-well, as I was saying I am really starting to hurt from my head to my toes, haven’t I said this before?

They could turn down that incessant beeping. Let me see if everything works. Feet…check. Legs…check. Hands…check. Arms…check. Head… ow, ow check sort of. Eyes… bright light. Open slowly. Going by looks where do you think we are? Hospital bed, I.V. stand, nurse, doctor. My guess? Hospital. Don’t be a smart ass. Oh, one other thing I need to tell you about me, being with out friends I have found there is one person that I can talk to who will never make fun of me is me. So you might notice that I may talk to myself at times.

Doctor it looks like the patient is awake. “How do you feel?” I’m asked by a man in his mid 30s.

“Well I feel like I was hit by a truck.” I respond as sarcastically as I can.

“Well I can understand that.” he says. “If you are up to it there is a state trooper here that would like to ask you some questions about the accident this morning.”

Getting my best face on I let the doctor know that I was ready to face what was coming. When the doctor left to get the trooper I lay back in bed and thought about my long and basically miserable, did you ever notice that when something is bad it usually seems that is long? I heard the doctor walk up with the trooper and when I raised my eyes to see them.

Being in middle school and having one of the kids in the special education class come running around the corner where I was on my way to get to my bike. He was more than likely being chased by Randy Grimes and his bunch of followers who liked to pick on any body they thought they could beat as long as they could keeps the odds at least 4 to 1. Since the poor kid they were chasing hadn’t done anything to them and they had beaten him up already this weak. Now get this the boy they were chasing weighs maybe 80 lbs Randy was already close to 110 lbs plus he had his friends. He loved to hurt and humiliate people. Anyway I don’t know why I did it but I act on instinct and I am very impulsive, smile let people how stupid I can be at times. But when Randy got about even with me I just put my foot out and down he went. I was very funny at the time but when he got his revenge it wasn’t so, but to me I still think it was worth it.

When I looked up to the trooper he said that he just had a few questions for me and then he would let me rest and then we could continue this the next day after I got some rest because it everyday you go against an 18-wheeler and come out on top. I fire when ready. “Ok, this morning, when you saw the red car hit by the pick-up can you tell me what you where driving and where you where in relation to everything or were you walking? Which on these snow and ice covered roads is very dangerous.”

After he said this I just sat trying to comprehend what he just said. I know that I was driving a red car and that I was hit by a pick-up truck. I know this happened on my way home from work in the afternoon. What is going on? I asked my self. I decide to take the smart way out for now I respond “I really don’t remember of this officer.”

“It wasn’t very smart moving someone that was involved in a traffic accident but Mr. Johnson possibly owes you his life seeing that his car was on fire, all he got out of it was a concussion from where his head hit the side window, some slight 1st degree burns on his neck.” The trooper was telling me.

But the problem as I was seeing it is that my name is Mark Johnson, at least I thought I was 5 min ago. At the same time things seem like they are going far away to real close, as in on of those old 60s shows that I saw once in a while. I struggle to ask the most important thing in my mind at this point in time, the one thing that I risked everything for “how is the baby?”

He looks at me with a smile and replies “Thanks to you the mom and child are fine. That was a very brave thing you did, not many people will take on a big truck for anyone but there those who put others first. I want to say I am proud to actually meet one of them.”

“Now are you up to working on this paper work or will you feel better in the morning?” he asks.

“Right now I think the morning would be a better option for me if that is okay with you” I say.

“Okay then, I will see you tomorrow morning then” he says as he steps out the door. After the trooper leaves the doctor comes by and asks if everything is alright.

At this time I can’t think of a smart answer so I answer truthfully “I don’t know.”

He sits in the chair beside the bed and asks ”why don’t you know?” I sit there and ponder his question as try to put my answer into word when there was a bit of noise from the hallway and I saw myself ,well not myself but like my brother, walk into my room with a nice looking woman with me/him ,oh my head is really starting to hurt now. She comes up to the bed with some beautiful flowers and tells me that she got these for me for saving her husbands life and that she hopes that I am not allergic to them. She then bends down and kisses my cheek and tells me thank you again. This is really strange because I am not married.

After they leave I settle down and try to relax and figure out what is going on. Maybe when I hit my head it knock a few things loose, but I don’t buy that. Stephie called me Mark when there were people around and Marie when we were by ourselves. Ergo, I like that word, my first name is or was or could be Mark, and I am not taking any chances right now. Now about last name…… it stands to reason that if Stephie called me Mark I was Mark Johnson. Some weird is going on around here or is it just me. I have been called weird most of my life so things appear to be normal for me. Ha. Ha. Man I wish my head didn’t hurt right now I really could use a clear head to think.

Oh man is it cold. I see Randy is up to his normal self this time with either snowballs with rocks in them or snow balls covered in ice, take your pick. They both hurt. I bet he will find someone no higher than the 7th grade since he is now a freshman. Yep, it looks like he has a little girl or boy I can’t tell pinned down. This is bad for even him I don’t think that kid is even in the 3rd grade. Oh well, time to see how bad those snow balls really hurt. Step one stocking cap on, step two hood, step three gloves. I walk over pick up the little kid and take them about 1 block over. Yes the rocks in the snow balls hurt, when I get home my mom runs me out to the ER to get stitches where a rock ripped open my neck where my hood had fallen. Yes, that hurt to. All through this I miss my friend Stephie so much, and how I wish I could have taken away the pain. I would like to been her girlfriend to but that wasn’t as important.

When I come out of my reverie I see a different nurse/doctor sitting next to the bed. She looks at me and says “About time you stopped wool gathering, because if I am right you’re allergic to wool aren’t you?”

I sat there in stunned silence for a few minutes looking at what I think must be a new nurse. For some reason I am getting a tingling in the back of my mind as she looks kind of familiar. But I know that I don’t know her since I moved up here for my job all I do is go to work and go home. Shop when I need to. I know I would remember her, since she is very good looking. Before I replied “Y-y-y-yes, I am.”

Now I won’t take up to much of your time before I go, I just need to check on a few things here real quick. “How is your head?” she asks.

“Sore, like my whole body.” I reply.

“Do you have any problems remembering things from when you where around 10 or so?” she asks. Momentarily stunned I reply with a negative answer.

“Okay, she says. That should do for now. I will check back with you in about 4-6 hrs to see how everything is going. Now get some rest.” She says on her way out the door.

“Ma’am” I call before she makes it to the door. “What is your name, so I know what to call you?” “Well” she says “my name is Stephanie, but everyone calls me Stephie”

I fell against the bed and possibly passed out I don’t remember much it was such a shock hearing Stephie’ name. I know that it wasn’t my Stephie but it was still such a shock to me. Hearing that name makes me miss her so much more, I didn’t think I could miss her any more. It seems like every time I turn around today I get reminded of my Stephie and the pain she went through. When Randy was chasing her and I actually stood up to him and his cronies on. Yes, that did hurt. But I did it for Stephie and that made all the hurt in the world worth it. I would have done anything for her and the only promise I ever broke to her was when I told I would take the hurt away. Now I’m getting sad and the doctor comes by.

“Are you in pain young man?” he asks.

I look at him disbelievingly and say “Young? Doctor did you forget your glasses somewhere?”

He looks at me and gives me the look that doctors are famous for and asks me why.

“Well, I am only about 10-15 years older than you for one. And as much as it makes me feel good I don’t need compliments like that. All I want is to get through all of your tests and get out of here.”

While he looked at my chart I asked him when Stephie was coming back on duty. “Well we need to check a few things and get an MRI of your head to see if everything is okay there. As soon as your parents get here to sign the consent forms we can get things going” he stated.

Sitting there thinking on this is going to be a long wait since both of my parents have been dead for over 15 years and lived over 500 miles away. I was really starting to judge my sanity with what has been going on today.

Because when I woke up this morning I was sure I was a 47 and a half year old man who was involved in a wreck on his way home from work in the afternoon. I remember having to cut myself out of my seatbelt to get out of my car and helping save a child. Oh and I can’t forget I got hit by a Peterbilt truck. Reminds me of a song from a movie “oh what a beautiful morning oh what a beautiful day - right. Now it seems I cut someone else out of ‘my’ car and still saved a child and still got hit by the truck. Isn’t life grand? All this happened that morning when I was going to work. This is making my head hurt.

“Doctor, can you tell me when Stephie will come back on duty? Please” I beg. I feel I need something familiar even if it is only a name right now. “Oh, my head is really hurting right now” I said. I guess this is one of the few times a doctor actually listens as I see him give me a funny look then mess with the IV and I feel a coolness in my arm and everything goes dark.

There is that incessant beeping again. I wish it would just shut up. It makes my head hurt so bad, I mean worse than what it does now.

“Marcie will you always be my friend?” asks Stephie, as she starts to cry.

“Stephie, you know that I will always be here for you and that I will always love you. We will be sisters until the end of time.” I replied. I reached out to hold and comfort her. I always felt that we were meant to be together for all time. For I still fill her in my heart like I did the day we met.

As I slowly open my eyes there is that bright light again. How do they expect people to rest when they put in 500 watt lights over the bed, I like my room dark to sleep. I take my time to look around starting from my right since that side doesn’t hurt to bad. As I continue around the room I hear people talking in the hallway, strangely it sounds kind of like my parents. But after 15 years I might be a little fuzzy on that part. As I continue around I get back to my right I find my favorite nurse Stephie there.

“Good evening how is the pain right now?” she kindly asks.

“Still paining” I respond getting my wit back for a bit.

“It’s a big responsibility taking the pain from the innocent isn’t it?” she asks.

I stare at her dumbfounded as no one ever knew that. I hear the door open to my room and see my mom and dad come in. At this I am unable to make a sound, when I turn to look at ‘Stephie’ I find a nurse that is in her middle twenties with dark hair where Stephie had light colored hair with a hint of red. The next thing I remember is seeing the tile floor coming up to meet my face. Need I say it, the story of my life? Man this is going to hurt, but at least I’m blacking out before I hit for once I think to myself.

There is that stupid beeping again.

“You know stupid ass we ought to beat your ass and then throw you down an old well or something” Randy says.

“Well if that is what you want to do go ahead and do it. I know you can, but I will hurt a least one of you and I will be going for you Randy.” I say

“What are going to do to me you little weird ass freak.” Randy smirks at me.

“Well, I will do what ever I can and have to do to hurt you Randy. I do mean what ever.” I replied giving the most evil looking eyes that I could think of.

“All right, Lets see how our patient is doing shall we.” the doctor says.

He takes that bright flashlight and shines it in my eyes that hurt. I guess everything is good. He tells me that my parents signed the consent while I was unconscious and that they did the MRI it shows everything was good. He then checks a few other things and pronounces me as fit as I could be after taking on a big truck and not losing. What I needed to do was to go home and get some rest before returning to school next week.

Please note I hold Doctors, Nurses, Police Officers all in the highest regard.
Any patronizing I do in here is for the use of the story alone, I do not want nor do I intend to disparage any of these fine people.