Much to my utter dismay, AS IF, someone took exception to something I wrote and it made me feel quite sad. So, I took my utter sadness to a published author who I know has taken a great deal of criticism and gone on living. I did not actually think I would get a reply very soon, if at all, but at least I had tried.
Much to my astonishment, I received a reply within hours! What was said felt so profound to me that I decided to share it here, though I left the confidential part out:
First, the only response any feedback of any kind requires is "thank you." Feedback, after all, is just one person's opinion, and human nature (the natural man) finds it a lot easier to offer negative feedback than to offer positive, useful feedback.
Second, you are not going to please every reader no matter how you try. Those who don't like something you consider important to your story are probably not part of the audience you are trying to write for anyway. They are entitled to their opinions, but you are not required to do any more than to thank them for taking the time and trouble to comment.
Third, when people give you feedback, again, of any kind, they are responding to the manuscript (or the text) they have read. They can not appreciate or experience the story that is in your head. All they can see are inadequate, finite, marks on paper that are your attempt to convey the story that is in your head and recreate it in their heads. Even the best feedback can only guess at the story in your head, but the best feedback can help you improve the manuscript so that it does a better job of conveying your story to the readers. The main thing to remember is that the writing is not the story, it's only a poor attempt to convey the story. So people are not saying mean, uncomplimentary things about your story since they can't read your mind. All they have to work with is the text.
Fourth, the "rule of thumb" for paying attention to feedback is basically twofold. First, you should only consider feedback that helps you figure out how to make the text do a better job of conveying your story. Only the feedback that makes you go, "Yes! That's right! That's what I need to do!" is really going to be of much help to you. Second, if three or more people who you know and trust to be fair and helpful have a problem with something in your story, even if they can't give you helpful feedback other than to express their concerns about that something, then you need to take a closer look at the something. You don't have to do anything any of them suggest, but you do need to figure out why they have a problem. (If an editor who wants to buy your story has a problem with something, that editor counts the same as three or more critiquers, by the way. But the same approach on your part applies. You don't necessarily need to do what the editor suggests, but you do need to figure out why the editor has a problem.) Once you figure out what is causing the problem, you may realize that you need to fix something else in the story and not even change the problem something. It may be set-up that needs to be changed so that the something won't be problematic any more. It may be any number of things you needed to have done earlier in the story. It's up to you to decide. (I hope all that made sense.)
And I hope this helps.
I hope that this helps you too as much as it has me.
Gwendolyn
Comments
taking negitive comments
not easy, but it sounds like you got some good advice, something I will try and keep in mind when a negative comment comes my way.
Dorothycolleen, member of Bailey's Angels
Negative Feedback
How very well said. I believe that one of the most important things that an author can do is to make people think. The ability to create a dialogue is something that the world sorely lacks. A civil debate on most college campuses in America is won by whomever shouts the loudest or longest.
Be kind to those who are unkind, tolerant toward those who treat you with intolerance, loving to those who withhold their love, and always smile through the pains of life.
Negative Comments
Negative comment make me angry as I thank each and everyone of you that writes and posts stories as I enjoy them so much. The people have the right to have negative comments but they such write a story the way they would like to see it and I bet someone would be offended by thier take on the story. SO just like the song YOU CAN'T PLEASE EVERYBODY SO YOU HAVE TO PLEASE YOURSELF.SO PLEASE YOURSELF IN LIFE -- LOVE YA'ALL RICHIE2
additionally
I need say nothing, well put and you are a strong person. I often stop writing if I get something negative that does not even follow the story line.
Jill Micayla
Be kinder than necessary,Because everyone you meet
Is fighting some kind of battle.
Jill Micayla
Be kinder than necessary,Because everyone you meet
Is fighting some kind of battle.
Wow! That is Fantastic advice. Thank you for sharing it, Gwen
This is a bit off the subject at first, but I'll get back on topic at the end. There is a vague relationship, however.
I write to politicians quite often, and usually get a response that does not seem to be a form letter, as they respond to one or more of my specific points.
Several of them have, over the years, told me in so many words, that a well written, clear letter counts as much to them as dozens or even hundreds of names on a petition.
One even said he has seen a fairly good indication that many petition signers have signed based on what the person with the petition says it is for, only to find out when they have tracked down a sample of signers, that they thought it was for something else entirely than what they were told or what the cover sheet, ( which had been removed before the petition was filed ), said,
Another said they have seen petitions with the same 10 or twenty people's handwriting being used over and over on several petitions.
So what am I getting at? Just that the author you contacted is right. Someone with a complaint, which may not even be valid, is more likely to write that someone who liked the story and had no complaints.
There are 1 or 2 frequent commenters here, whose comments or questions make me wonder if they even read the same story I read, and I've had more than one BCTS author I work with ask me if that is common. Since I am not a prolific writer, and so far have written for a narrow niche, I haven't gotten such questions, at least, not in open comments.
It’s not given to anyone to have no regrets; only to decide, through the choices we make, which regrets we’ll have,
David Weber – In Fury Born
Holly
It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.
Holly
Amazingly insightful
And something that I am going to be thinking about for awhile now. Thanks Gwen. *hugs* I needed that. :-)
Visit the Robinverse Story Universe page on TopShelf for information, links, and stories!
Good advice, but it's hard
I got some negative comments on Marcie And The Amazons, but going back now that years have passed, I was astonished to see that they were in the minority. At the time, when I was still writing the story, I felt that the comments were mostly -- almost overwhelmingly -- negative. I let the negative comments color ALL the comments, and the negative ones were the ones that really stuck with me.
The thing is, when someone doesn't like something, they can be a lot more articulate and thorough when they explain exactly what they didn't like and why.
While ten people say, "Oh, this was fun! I like when the guy said this-and-that. Keep up the good work!" — the person who doesn't like it can write several paragraphs in which they take the whole thing apart and explain to you and the world how and why you're making a huge mistake.
However, I've realized that the negative comments undid me because I know I'm not a great writer, that I have my shortcomings, and I'm not a professional in any sense of the word.
It's the same when I cook or do home repairs. I spent a lot of time putting up crown molding in our house, and when my wife mentions what a crappy job it was, I feel awful because it was an enormous effort for me.
Another thing to keep in mind is that there are authors here who are begging and crying for comments, and they would be so grateful even for the comments that we struggle with.
I don't think anyone was ever malicious or mean in their comments to me, and that they really meant to give honest feedback about what worked and what didn't. It can be hard to take them in that sense, but I'm sure it's usually how those comments are meant.
The worst thing to do, in any case, is to reply when you're angry or hurt. It's better to not reply at all than to reply when feeling negative or down.
Helping authors improve.
This happens to be a very "Author friendly" site. partly due to the nature of the rules here, and more so, people really don't wish to hurt the feelings of authors we depend on for the stories we love.
However....
Constructive criticism is an important part of helping people progress as authors. Telling someone "this story sucks" is not helpful. telling someone "my enjoyment of this story would be much greater if perhaps a bit more attention to spelling/grammar/consistency/etc. was made" is something that might sting, but if it is a common critique of an author, perhaps its not the critics that are the problem.
I am sure many of you have read a story and thought, "omg, reading this is pure torture" and never read that author again. I am certainly guilty of this. I am not really qualified to advise a new author on proper story structure or character development, I do know what I like, and read it. I can overlook a lot of flaws in a story if I like it, but it would be more enjoyable if the story was "cleaner".
If you read a story by an author such as "The Professor" no matter if you like the content, it is always well constructed, readable, and does not distract with oddities of bizarre sentence structure disguised as artistic license...
putting up with less than perfect stories in a new author is something that is part of this hobby, and it is a joy to watch an author mature over the years and become more proficient. many here and on other story sites have progressed in ability to the point of being published and making a bit of cash. as readers, it is part of our duty as consumers of this "product" if you will, to offer what constructive criticism as we can, without destroying the confidence of a new author. it takes very little to crush the desire to write, if the only thing you see about a story is how horrible it is.
None of this, is aimed at anyone in particular, but is meant as perhaps inspiration for a few of the more trained readers or established authors to offer helpful advice for new or struggling authors, using a delicate touch in private messages!
Perhaps a dedicated subforum for asking advice by new authors, using examples of work?
You know...
I think I might have a very good idea who this author is. It sounds like something he'd say.
Anyways, that's neither here nor there, the point is, it's not only extremely good advice, it really does work to make you a better writer.
I always welcome negative feedback, more than positive feedback. I'm not sure how to react to the positive other than, hey, thanks for commenting, glad you think I'm awesome, cuz, well, I'm really not!
Negative though, negative tells me there's something that's not quite right. In one of the chapters of Open Your Heart, a reader commented that the flashbacks were poorly constructed... I responded by trying to engage them in a discussion of how I might do it better - they didn't respond back. So now I know I did a poor job getting into this characters head and presenting their trip down memory lane - which I'd already suspected before posting anyways, but have absolutely no idea how to fix it. If I'd had that, I'd've fixed it before posting.
On the other hand, when I was on an entirely different writing site oriented around mainstream science fiction (and getting private peer-reviews rather than publish-to-site), I'd submitted a manuscript to someone who then proceeded to tear it to absolute shreds. At first, yeah, I was devastated. But I already knew I was a bad writer, and that was why I was there - to improve. So I stepped away from it for a few days, then went back, and reread her critique and, you know what I found? For every single thing she tore me to shreds on, she suggested how she might have improved it, were she writing the story.
I didn't use all her suggestions, and none of them were followed exactly, but once I allowed what she'd told me to sink in, my own inner-editor was able to find solutions that worked for me. After I'd re-worked the story, I then submitted to a different writer, and this person found much much less to critique me on. And didn't have any problems at all with what I'd fixed from the previous critique.
So, for those who do give negative feedback, please, oh pretty please, give us a hint to what you -think- might help present the information more smoothly. Even if I don't do exactly as you suggest, it will quite likely point my mind in the direction it needs to go to fix it.
Abigail Drew.
Abigail Drew.
:)
Very good advice. It's hard writing, and untold times harder to actually finish what you once started so happily smiling, well, sort of :) Negative comments can get under your skin, depending on what emotional etc, value you place on that particular write. And then you react, it's hard not too.
But for those that have it 'their blood', they will write again.
So, let it pass, and smile benevolently from (y)our writers Olympus :).
After all, it's not you that was rude.
As Gwendolyn (Or X?:) says. 'You can't please all.'