Black Balled?

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I first discovered this site a year ago. Imagine my joy when I found like minded people. But Alas!

I find there is a small town mentality here. The same village that I ran away from at the tender age of fifteen. I did not know where I was running too,I only knew I had to escape that small minded village full of cliques.

I ran blindly towards the big city and annonymity, it worked for a while. Sadly the true nature of myself always came through. I would move on to a bigger town in order to preserve my true self. Everywhere I went the inevitable happened.

A friend of a friend would pass the word; "that guy is a tranny." So all the walls would tumble down. The friendships I built up no longer wished to know me once the rumor mill started.

Time to move on. I never ran away from myself but only to preserve my own sanity.

Fortunately things are settled at the moment. I guess the ultimate question at this moment in time is. Why is my signature a different colour from every one elses? Is it because I speak my mind? Does my honesty offend?

I have seen some good authors post briefly on this site and then leave. I empathise with them.

Once again I think I should run to the next big city. I've heard good things about a place called fictionmania. Perhaps I will go there in the hope of acceptance.

I find myself marked once again and most betrayed.

Why are all my comments highlighted in a different colour?

WebDeb signing off.

Not on my screen, Webdeb

laika's picture

I can't speak about any of the other stuff, who you may have had unpleasant run-ins with,
but your name and comments appear the same color as everyone else's on my computer.
My own name appears in black within the blue list of signed in people on the right.
And no one's come to me with any bad talk about you, if that means anything.
~~hugs, veronica

.
What borders on stupidity?
Canada and Mexico.
.

Just ain't so

erin's picture

If you click on something that links somewhere, then afterwards that link will appear in a different color -- sometimes.

But the idea that I have the time, energy or will to make your, or anybody else's name or posts appear in a different color is laughable. Excuse me but the accusation is incredible. Take six seconds to think about it. I spend 4 to 10 hours a day running this place and I don't have time for that kind of targeted -- I don't even know what to call it.

If I do blackball someone here, and three people in 12 years have earned that distinction, besides the occasional spammers, I block them in the software, hunt down all their IP addresses and add those to the deny list in the firewall. They can't get here to discover why they can't get here.

Hugs,
Erin

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

Thanks WebDeb,

ALISON

, but I have to go with Laika on this one unless you are more specific.I always look forward to the
'newsy' links that you give us and I think of you as another sister on BCTS.

ALISON

Your comment seems quite

Your comment seems quite mysterious... What do you mean exactly? As Erin put it, used links turn black...
What kind of small town mentality do you mean?

People are different, what some people may appreciate is a reason for others to tear your eyes out.

Maybe you can elaborate your problems...

Beyogi

I'm being Purple-balled

When I log in I see my name in purple, because it's my favorite color and damn-it, I deserve to me my name in my favorite color on my favorite site without games (PLEASE ERIN ADD A GAME [something to do with dressup])

I think perhaps you have jumped the gun a tad. Oh and good luck at fictionmania. You really should've addressed your concerns to Erin or any other moderator and gotten the facts straight before making accusations.

As for the losing friends after they find out you're a tranny thing... I can understand why people would turn there backs and it has nothing to do with the fact that you're a trans, but most likely all to do with the fact that you didn't tell them. People feel deceived when they find out things from a third party.

K.T. Leone

My fiction feels more real than reality

Katie Leone (Katie-Leone.com)

Writing is what you do when you put pen to paper, being an author is what you do when you bring words to life

I'll second the "Good Luck" comment

Though I am surprised by the number of people who have came here only to leave for FM.

It is a DIFFERENT community there, but I would say that you're likely to run into the same types of situations there that you feel cause you problems here.

As for your name showing up a different color, any time you click on something it will generally identify previously clicked links in a different color until you clear your history. Try doing that, and you'll probably see the colors become the same as everyone else's.

Melanie E.

Fictionmania...

Fictionmania is just blah as far as sites go. I started out there, and they do have quite a few more stories than most TG sites. However, after posting stories there, I found you don't get as much feedback from people as you do here. I appreciate the feedback probably more than anything; good, bad or anything in between. The feedback, as far as numbers are concerned, pales in comparison to this site. Plus it's a lot easier to reply to individual people that leave comments on this site.

I don't know you, but sorry to see someone go. Especially when they're upset over something. But like the others said, good luck on FM. I can't really describe what it is, but the audience there is simply... different. Hopefully you won't run into the troll hordes there, and get useful feedback. Some of the feedback I got there made me wonder if they read the same story they commented on. At any rate, take care, and best wishes.

~Bailey

PS - If you have friends on this site telling others "that guy is a tranny", the people they're telling it to are probably saying "me too!" Just saying.

~Taylor Ryan
My muse suffers from insomnia, and it keeps me up at night.

Godspeed

Sister, if you've found your path in life: God speed!
If you have not: We'll be there, will be here for you...

------------
"Die Gedanken sind frei / Sie fliegen vorbei
Kein Mensch kann sie wissen / Kein Jäger sie schießen
Mit Kugeln und Blei / Die Gedanken sind frei"

Do you realise also -Bailey

Besides Authors getting positive comments!

That I find it very rewarding as a commenter/or/ee to receive a comment back from the Author.

You always comment back to almost everybody, thank you.

Some authors don't ever bother, so they just get a kudo if it meets my approval.

Some Authors just abuse anybody who has a negative comment, their easy to get rid of course, (forever).

FM does fill a niche for some readers.

LoL
Rita

I'm a dyslexic agnostic insomniac.

'Someone who lies awake at night wondering if there's a dog.'

Age is an issue of mind over matter.
If you don't mind, it doesn't matter!
(Mark Twain)

LoL
Rita

I'm not sure why webdeb has gone

Angharad's picture

this site is probably the best of its sort on the internet.

I don't comment on comments very often unless someone has pointed out something I got wrong or missed, or they said something to which I feel compelled to respond. I do however, read all of them, and sometimes pm their authors.

Bike frequently causes the main protagonists to end up with dilemmas which my readers like to speculate upon before the next episode - I like to let them, besides which, they might provide me with a better solution than I was going to use.

Angharad

Angharad

I usually don't comment on comments either

At least not in my own stories, though I have been trying to do so more often, since it seems to draw more reader response.

I, too, like to see readers speculate on what's going to happen, but at the same time, I've never been very good at keeping surprises secret, and I always feel the almost overpowering urge to tell all well before it comes out in the story. Especially when I see people speculating on very negative motives/outcomes -- why are people always so negative?!

And agreed on BC being the best site on the 'net!

Melanie E.

It's a tricky one

How to strike a balance between letting the speculation wander off in all directions and letting the cat out of the bag.

Once or twice I've had a really powerful urge to say to someone... "that's exactly right, because x will happen in three chapter's time", but I recognise that will destroy the fun for some of my other readers.

I do read and appreciate all comments that I receive. When I reply to comments it is often to clarify something that they think they have learned in the story so far which might not be quite the way I thought it would read. If so, it's my mistake, not theirs, and it proves that I still have much to learn as a writer.

For those who make comments who don't get a response directly from me, I can assure you I do read and appreciate every single one.

Penny

Black Balled?

Please stay. You have friends here.

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine
    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

Running away

Since others have allready addressed the color issue, I will focus on the running away and perfect world issue here: I can empathise very well with your desire to run away from a bad situation, since I have done so myself repeatedly in the past. Quite often during the "fight-or-flight debate" the flight option wins, especially when the percieved enemy is percieved much bigger and/or stronger than one-self. As for the small community hell, I can understand you very well, since I also grew up in a small, religiously orthodox and traditional (aka closed minded and bigoted) community.

I want to share two slogans, that I have learned to incorporate into my decision-making process through the hard knocks of life, with you. And since they are advice freely given, you may take them or leave them as you wish in your own free will.

The first is: "Don't run away from something, rather run towards something." Meaning, that if you try to run away from a bad situation, without having a better situation as your goal, you will just run around in circles and the bad situation will just get worse. Unless it is a life-or-death situation, it is usally better to stay put and plan/prepare a goal that is better and then move deliberatly towards that goal.

Example: If you have a crapy job that you hate and where you are subjected to frequent bullying, don't walk away, unless you have allready secured a better job. Otherwise you will end up with no income to pay your bills, and you might just have to take a job that is even worse.

The second ist: "If you find the perfect community (church, club, etc.), then don't go there, since it will not be perfect anymore." Meaning, that since none of us are perfect, I can not expect a perfect community to remain perfect, if I - a less than perfect person - become a part of it. The idea of a perfect community, without any wrinkles and blemishes, is a fatamorgana.

On the other hand, home is the place where we grumble the most and are loved the most.

Jessica

True Colours

Puddintane's picture

Most of the 'different colours' one sees on the site are created by your web browser, which has a mechanism built-in to cause "visited links" to appear in a different colour to the colours of unvisited links.

Since one must visit one's own account page, one's own name will always appear to be 'visited' when you see it in the list of people who are signed in, however your own individual browser chooses to display that.

Here, for ensample, is a link to this very page, which will appear in the 'visited' colour, whatever that is for you, because you're already here, unless you've always reached this blog page by clicking on a comment.

Black-Balled

By way of contrast, here's a link that doesn't go much of anywhere. It will appear in the 'unvisited' colour, although one can change it to the other colour by following the link, even though it goes to a page that can't be found..

Unknown Destination

Cheers,

Puddin'

A tender heart is an asset to an editor: it helps us be ruthless in a tactful way.
--- The Chicago Manual of Style

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Cheers,

Puddin'

A tender heart is an asset to an editor: it helps us be ruthless in a tactful way.
--- The Chicago Manual of Style