Regret

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Just a caution. I had several people read this before I submitted it for posting - it's not a traditional horror story, but rather a strike at the core of a hope. It is horrible.

--SEPARATOR--

It seemed like a normal doctor's office; diplomas and credentials lined one wall, reference books another, and stacks of paperwork lined a credenza on a third. The desk in the center was also normal - heavy wood, covered in papers and a computer monitor. What broke the normalcy of the scene was the people present. Not one, but two doctors faced the patient.

The patient. Nothing obvious was wrong, but there he sat - not young, not old; slightly heavy-set, and prematurely balding. Again, nothing seemed strange there, but the two doctors faced the patient. One sat behind the desk, one next to it. The patient cleared his throat. "So, there's nothing that can be done?" The doctor behind the desk looked at his papers, made a decision, and looked up with a sad expression. "Nothing, I'm afraid. We've tried everything we can think of, and all the results were the same. You're allergic to all the standard medications, and even the herbal remedies showed similar results." A pause, then the patient asked, "What about surgical intervention?" Another review of the desktop, then, "Contraindicated, at least in this case. Even with surgery, you would have to be on medications that would have similar effects."

The last person, the doctor sitting to the side of the desk, finally spoke. "We know this is a shock to you, and we are both still consulting with colleagues to try to find ways to help you; for now, all that can be done is to assist you in being a bit more comfortable. That's why we are both here together, to try to make sure you understand how serious we both take this, rather than seeing you separately at our normal hours." The patient's head lowered, his gaze pointed down, apparently fascinated by his shoes. "I understand."

The patient stood, nodded to both doctors, turned, and walked slowly out of the room. As his footsteps faded into the distance, the endocrinologist turned to the psychiatrist. "Do you think he's a suicide risk? Transgendered, unable to pass without a lot of help, and being told that he's unable to take androgen blockers, let alone estrogen?" The psychiatrist sighed. "No, he.. she.. won't take the easy way out. She's a devout Catholic." They both sat, thinking of the patient that left, as well as the long years ahead.

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How utterly and painfully sad...

Andrea Lena's picture

...the feeling of hopelessness that seems almost to speak of death, but then that's what it is; death of spirit and soul? This gripped me with a painful commonality, and while I may be given to tears more than most, this did bring me to sad tears. Too real! Very good! Thank you!


Dio vi benedica tutti
Con grande amore e di affetto
Andrea Lena

  

To be alive is to be vulnerable. Madeleine L'Engle
Love, Andrea Lena

Thanks

I struggled for a bit over whether or not to post it. I myself am not particularly TG, but have enough empathy to have this hurt to write, and hurt even more to post. However, after a week or thinking about it, I had to at least try. I kept seeing stories that were "Horror stories with transgendered themes", but no true "TG Horror" stories. So I went with that.

It's this short because I'm an H.P. Lovecraft fan, and firmly believe that you can give far too much information - the story is just enough to make your brain work. That's it. I simply couldn't get enough extra information that had to be delivered to build a bigger story around it.


I'll get a life when it's proven and substantiated to be better than what I'm currently experiencing.

a true horror

and one that happens in real life. (And might yet happen to me, for example). Thanks for sharing it though.

Dorothycolleen

DogSig.png

Horror? Hmmm

It is in a pure sense at least for the person in question. Also perhaps for a wider audience that feels the pull of time and inevitability and responsibility. The likelihood of loss and pain and outsidedness. Doubt and fear.

This was short but it does get a message across, sad and maybe brutal as harsh reality can be. I guess we hope that the assessment is right and that suicide isn't on the table. That 'he' can find a way to cope and be, many do, but it is never simple or easy. Ah, here's hoping

k

Keep in mind, this is

Keep in mind, this is targeted towards a specific audience. A devout muslim or jew might find horror in being trapped in a room filled with pork products and water, and being told that he won't be released for weeks - but a Christian wouldn't have any issues with it.

For those who are transgendered, often the only thing that gets them through the day is the hope of a transition. Having that hope ripped away....


I'll get a life when it's proven and substantiated to be better than what I'm currently experiencing.

Alfred (TG) Hitchcock at it's purest.

You're right, I don't think it would "play in Peoria". But here, in this community, this is horror.

Shudders

ouch... wow.
may not be a suicide risk, but with all hope gone, a person can and often will stop taking care of them self... risk factors, like smoking, eating poorly or just not bathing or eating will come into play... just because she won't suicide doesn't mean she'll stay alive... people stop caring, they're often found dead just by not living...
ouch.
Thank you for this Bibliophage
diana

cause of death - not living

I was headed there until I started my counseling, and then started trying to actually live.

Dorothycolleen

DogSig.png

No, thank YOU.

Considering the audience and subject matter, I was expecting to see either no responses, (maybe one or two), or some pretty nasty reactions.

I'm definitely pleasantly surprised.

It just got stuck in my head, and built up as I kept seeing more and more 'traditional' terror/horror stories. The voices in my head kept saying "How is this REALLY terrifying to TG's?"

There are a couple of other short things that might come out later - I just haven't had the time to focus that much. Even this one, short as it is, required a couple of hours to get 'just right'.

BW


I'll get a life when it's proven and substantiated to be better than what I'm currently experiencing.

Regret

A real horror

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine
    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine