OH MY GOODNESS; I've never experienced anything like this at school before.
But; I've never been to a school like this before.

I would like to thank my dear friends,
Angel O’Hare, Karen Page and Joni W.
For their kindness, help, support and input.

Raised In SLC
Chapter 5

By Penny Reed Cardon

Thursday morning arrived and for some reason I’m almost as scared of going back to Immigration Manor, as I am of Dad. I don't know why, everyone there is very nice. Nobody is going to be mean, or be shocked because I'm a boy in girl's clothes, but I'm still scared. Mom noticed that I was very nervous, so nervous that the hair of my wig shook while I sat for mom to apply my makeup.

"Matilda, what's the matter dear?"

"I know its silly Mom, but I'm just really nervous today."

"But why dear? You've seen the school, met some of the other students, and some of the staff. They know about you, and they want to help you. No one is going to be mean to you or tease you."

"I know that Mom, I've been going through this in my mind over, and over, since I got up this morning. There's nothing to be nervous about, but I'm still really nervous."

"Well dear, I understand that you're nervous, but if you don't stop shaking, I'm going to miss your eyelashes with this mascara and it's going to end up all over your nose!" Mom said with a grin and a giggle.

Mom knows me too well. A little bit of laughter and I’m able to relax, some.

"All the same, maybe I should have another talk with Jill, sometime in the next day or two," I said.

"Well, that might not be such a bad idea, although there's no time this morning. If you still feel this way, this afternoon I’ll arrange something for tomorrow."

"Thanks Mom."

"If you’re ready, we'd better get going. You don't want to be late for your first day of school, do you?"

"No Mom, I guess not," I said while shaking my head. I just love the way my hair tickles my ears when I shake my head.

"Well then, stop day dreaming girl and let's get a move on."

With that we were off. It didn't seam to take as long to get to Immigration Manor, the second day. That's probably a good thing, less time to think about what might happen, and less time to get scared again.

Ellen met us as we were walking from the parking lot towards the building where her office is.

"Good morning Edith, Matilda, how are you both today?" she asked.

"We’re both doing fine, although Matilda is a bit nervous," Mom replied.

"Mother!" I complained softly, through clenched teeth.

"What?" Mom asked.

"Don't worry about it Matilda, everyone who comes here is nervous their first day. We have a special program here to help new girl's relax and feel at home. I'm sure you will be feeling like your old self in no time. Shall we go in and get started?" Ellen said, as she held the door.

"I don't know if I want to feel like my old self. My old self is a scared little boy named Matt, who's afraid to leave his mothers side. I think I like my new self better," I said with a little giggle, as I walked past Ellen.

"Well she must be feeling better, she's making jokes," Mom said, shaking her head.

Ellen laughed at both of us as she led us into a small conference room. Seated at the table were Beca, and a lady that I’d never seen before.

"I'm sure you both remember Beca, she has volunteered to be your big sister while you're here, Matilda," said Ellen.

"Why do I need a big sister?" I asked.

"At Immigration Manor, a big sister is a friend and companion, someone to talk to and much, much more. She'll act as your guide, as a private tutor and as your mentor. Beca will help you learn how to be a girl; she will be your constant companion while you're here."

"Wow, with all that I almost don't need any other teachers. When will Beca do her school work?" I asked.

"As I told you yesterday, Beca is one of the top students here. Beca came to me yesterday and requested to be your big sister. Besides it'll give the other students a chance to catch up," Ellen chuckled.

Throughout this exchange Beca sat quietly, until Ellen's last comment.

"Hey, it's not my fault I'm not afraid to use my brain. Everyone here could do much better if they tried just a little harder," Beca said, quickly defending herself.

“Beca please,” said Ellen with a giggle. “Nobody said you should do anything different. And yes the other students could do better if they put forth a little more effort. I’m simply pointing out that helping Matilda is your idea, and that your school work won’t suffer. The other students might not be at Beca’s level, but everyone here is between one and three years ahead of students the same age at other schools. Beca has enough High School credits to graduate; by the time she leaves us, when she’s eighteen, she will have earned a Bachelors Degree from the university.”

“Oh,” Beca said settling back down. “I guess I owe you an apology, I’m sorry for my outburst Ellen.”

“Apology accepted. Although an apology wasn’t needed Beca, you weren’t out of line, just a little overly defensive,” replied Ellen with a large smile. “Now may we continue? Matilda I would like to introduce Miss Wednesday Adams. Miss Adams is our Physical Appearance Specialist. With her help and guidance all of our young girl’s look and present themselves as young ladies. She works with both the genetic and transgendered. It seams that most girls’ today aren’t taught what it means to be a lady.”

With that said Miss Adams rose and offered her hand. “I’m very pleased to meet you Matilda. Ellen has told me so much about you. She's obviously very impressed with you, I can see why.”

I shook her hand; “I’m pleased to meet you Miss Adams. Thank you, I think.”

All three of the adults giggled. Beca and I just looked at each other and wondered why? What is it that they know that we don't?

"Wednesday, why don't you and Beca, show Matilda to her room and help her into her school uniform." Ellen said, resting one of her hands on my right shoulder. "Matilda, I want you to remember two things. One, everyone here will do their very best to help you be what you want to be. Two, relax and try not to question what you're asked to do. Some things may not make sense to you at the time, but we've been doing this for a long time and I assure you we know what we’re doing. We'll see you later dear."

With that said Miss Adams escorted me out of the conference room with Beca following close behind. We went down a corridor then we made a right turn, a left turn, through a door and outside.

"Miss Adams, could I ask you a couple of questions?" I decided to ask.

"Of course Matilda, you may ask me anything you like," she said.

"Well, I’m just wondering about your name 'Wednesday Adams'? You're a lot older than the 'Adams Family' movies I've seen. How did you get named after a movie character, when you were born before the movies were made?" I asked.

"While it is true that the movies that you know hadn't been made before I was born. It’s also true that my parents were very fond of the old TV series that the movies were based on. My parents thought it would be 'cute' to name me Wednesday, being that our last name is Adams. You’ll never know how much teasing I endured in school. One year for Halloween, Mom even dressed me up to look like 'Wednesday Adams' from the TV series. The embarrassment from that night hung with me for many months," she confessed.

"Oh, I’m sorry. No, I didn't know about the TV series. I didn't mean to tease you about your name," I said. I hung my head as I softly continued. "I do know what it's like to be teased at school though. You see, I'm the smallest student in the whole fourth grade." I paused for a few moments before continuing. "Do you know what's worse than having a funny name? Being almost ten years old, but not looking like you’re ten years old, AND having a funny name. Everybody says I look like my eight year old sisters twin, lots of people frequently mistake us for twins."

At that Miss Adams suddenly stopped. I’d lost track of our location, we'd left one building and had gone through another one making several turns and we were again outside, and because of the conversation I really hadn't been paying attention.

Miss Adams looked at me closely and said, "Did I hear you correctly, you're eight year old sister is the same size as you?"

I looked up at her and shyly nodded, there's that funny little tickling of the ears again.

"Well, what do they feed children around here? You’re about average for ten where I come from," she said. "So Matilda, what funny name did you get blessed with?"

"My parents named me Matthias! My friends called me Matt. Black Bart and the other bullies call me 'Little Mattie," I said hanging my head in shame.

Miss Adams gently lifted my head. "Nobody around here will ever tease you about your name. You definitely don't look like a Matthias. And I know that you weren't teasing when you asked about my name."

I knew Miss Adams was right, but remembering how I’ve been treated in the past still made me sad. Unfortunately neither Miss Adams nor Beca knew me well enough to know that I could use a hug. I sure miss Mom and Rachael.

"What other question did you have Matilda?" Beca asked trying to get things moving.

"We've come quite a way and I think I'm lost. Can I get a map of the school so I'll be able to find my way around?" I asked.

"That won't be necessary. Because you aren't a full-time student you'll be escorted everywhere you go." Miss Adams said with a smile. "That's part of what your ‘Big Sister’ is for."

"That's right! So let's get moving 'Little Sis" Beca said with a very light swat to my bottom, and a giggle. "We've got to get you dressed and get some work done before lunch."

"Yes ma’am!" Both Miss Adams and I said, with a giggle.

We continued on to the next building, where we went up to the second floor.

"This is the dormitory for the ten through twelve year olds," Miss Adams explained, as we walked down the corridor and entered a large bedroom. "I know you won't be sleeping here, but this is a standard student’s room," Miss Adams said as she started giving me the tour. "All the clothes you'll need during your stay are in this walk-in closet, to your right. Each room has a private bathroom that’s on your left. There's an interconnecting door to the room that would be for your study partner. Of course in your case that room is vacant. Each room also has a work desk with a computer that's linked with the schools networks and mainframe, as well as a small sofa and table so you can just sit and relax when needed. Well that's the rundown on your room. Now then, shall we get you dressed?"

"Well I suppose it is time to get started," I said nervously, trying to force a smile.

“Matilda, before we begin, do you need to use the bathroom?” Miss Adams asked. “It may be some time before you have another opportunity.”

“Well, um . . . I guess maybe I should go,” I said.

“That’s fine dear. I’ll just get your uniform out of the closet and lay everything out on the bed, while you’re in the bathroom,” said Miss Adams. I nodded as I went into the bathroom.

To my surprise Beca and Miss Adams were both still in the room as I came out of the bathroom.

“Matilda, I have a couple of questions for you before we get started. Why don’t you have a seat on the sofa next to Beca,” Miss Adams asked. After I’d joined Beca on the sofa, Miss Adams brought a chair over and sat down in front of us before she continued. “Matilda, my role as the Physical Appearance Specialist is to see that you, as well as all of the girls, give the proper outward appearance. Matilda being that you're almost ten, I'll assume that you know the difference between boy's and girl's?"

"Well yes, I'm pretty sure I know what you mean," I answered.

"So if I show you some pictures of children in swimming suits you'd be able to tell me which are boys and which are girls, right?"

"Umm, yes I guess so."

"That's fine, what do you see in this picture?" asked Miss Adams while handing me a picture.

It was a picture of a boy, kind of cute that appeared to be about twelve-years-old, with short brown hair wearing dark blue brief style swimming trunks. His male body parts while covered were noticeable.

"This is a boy," I said.

"Very good, now what do you see in this picture?"

Miss Adams then handed me a picture of a lovely young girl about the same age, maybe a year older with long brown hair wearing a dark blue one piece tank style swimming suit.

"This is a girl," I said.

"You're sure?"

I looked at the picture again, "Yes."

"Okay, how about this one?"

Miss Adams handed me another picture of the same boy, wearing the same swimming trunks, only his hair was longer. His hair hung down to just below his ears.

"This is the same boy," I said.

"And what do you see in this picture?"

The next picture I was handed started to confuse me. It appeared to be the same boy, but his hair hung down to his shoulders and he was wearing the girl's dark blue tank swimming suit. His male body parts while covered were still noticeable.

"Well I think this is the same boy only with long hair and wearing a girl's swimming suit," I said.

"Are you sure it's not a girl?" asked Miss Adams.

"Well, yes pretty sure," I replied.

"What makes you think that that person is a boy?" she asked.

"Well like I said, he does have long hair and he is wearing a girl's swimming suit, but his umm, umm, boy parts are causing a bulge in the suit," I replied shyly, blushing.

Miss Adams chuckled as she responded, "You're correct Matilda, and his boy parts as you put it are somewhat visible. Now Matilda would you go back to the second picture I gave you and tell me what you see?"

I shuffled the pictures until I came to the one of the girl and looked at it again, carefully.

"This looks like the boy's twin sister," I finally said.

"Matilda, what you're looking at are four pictures of the same person," Miss Adams said.

Nothing could be heard for several seconds as I shuffled back and forth between the four pictures, becoming confessed.

"What happened to his boy parts, were they cut off?" I finally whispered.

"Not yet," Beca said while giggling.

I looked up at Beca, then at the pictures, then back at Beca. "Beca, this is you, isn't it?" I said.

"Yes Matilda," Beca said while still laughing. "Those pictures were taken at about four month intervals. The first two were taken before I came to the Manor."

"But what happened to . . ."

"There still there Matilda," Miss Adams said. "There's a technique used to tuck then away so the outward appearance is that of a girl. That is what this lesson is about. In my role as Appearance Specialist things sometimes it gets a little awkward and sometimes causes some embarrassment. Umm, Matilda, have you ever changed clothes with someone else present?”

Shyly I shook my head.

“Well, have you had to do something that you found extremely hard to do and caused you to be embarrassed?” she asked.

Ever so slowly I nodded.

“Could you tell me about it please?” Miss Adams asked.

Slowly I related the story of using the public restroom at the Crossroads mall.

“Very interesting, what did you mother say or do afterwards?” she asked.

“Well, we stopped and sat on a bench and she put her arms around me. Then she said that she knew how embarrassed I be, doing what I’d just done. But that there was simply no other way, doing hard and embarrassing things is sometimes how we learn,” I said very softly, almost whispering. I’m afraid of where this conversation’s leading. I couldn’t help myself as I started to softly cry. Where is Rachael, Mom, or even Mary Beth when I need them? I don’t know how long I sat there crying, when suddenly I felt someone’s arms around my shoulders. I slowly looked up and discovered that it was Beca. I’m not sure but I think I saw a tear in her eye as well. Maybe Beca is a good choice for my big sister. As I looked at her I suddenly put my arms around her waist and we just hugged each other for a few minutes. After I settled down and had almost stopped crying Miss Adams handed us both some tissue to dry our eyes.

“Matilda, I’m really very sorry about this, and I wish I knew an easier way to do this, but I guess there really isn’t. Would you please stand up and remove you skirt and underwear?” Miss Adams asked. Her words sounded like thunder in my ears.

I couldn’t move. I just sat there hugging Beca as I looked at Miss Adams. Then I looked up into Beca’s eyes.

“It’s okay Matilda; you will only have to go through this once. You’re lucky, because you're so small; Miss Adams is only planning on having you wear two pairs of tight panties. I had to learn how to put on a ‘Gaff’. Would it be easier for you if I left the room?” Beca asked.

Vigorously I shook my head, “Nooo pleaseee stay. I need someone to be with me right now,” I said while still crying softly. I slowly rose while still holding onto Beca’s hand. It took several more minutes before I let go of Beca’s hand and slowly removed my blue skirt and the blue lace panties that I’d put on that morning. The embarrassment I felt, standing in front of Miss Adams, naked from the waist down was like nothing I’d experienced before. I covered my face with both hands, I just couldn't stop crying. Beca got up from the sofa and put her arms around me, momentarily shielding my nakedness. After I’d settled down Miss Adams continued.

If you, my beloved readers don’t mind I am going to leave out the details of what followed. If you have ‘tucked’ before you know the procedure. If you haven’t had the need then these details won’t mean anything to you. Just accept the fact that having Miss Adams teaching me this was extremely embarrassing and the most humiliating thing that had ever happened to me up until that time in my life.

Well, it took all morning, but I’m finally dressed for school. My uniform consisted of two pair of tight cotton panties (to keep things in place), a padded training bra, a white silk camisole with matching panties, a half slip, white blouse, red plaid pleated skirt, white knee socks and black Mary Jane’s. I’m glad I’d gone to the bathroom before this started. Miss Adams was right about that.

“Beca, as we have taken most of the morning getting these necessities taken care of, and do to the fact that Matilda is still quite emotionally exhausted. Why don’t the two of you just stay here for a while? Take whatever time Matilda needs to regain her composure and then bring her over for lunch," Miss Adams said, just before leaving us.

“I’m sorry that was so hard on you Matilda,” Beca said after Miss Adams left, and she once again sat hugging me. “But all things considered you got off easy.”

“W - What do you mean, I g - got off easy?” I said while still crying.

“Well the technique that Miss Adams' teaches is extremely gentle. When I started here a few years ago, Miss Adams wasn’t here. The presentation specialist then was a large woman named Helga Sorenson. Helga preferred a direct hand’s on approach to teaching, where as Miss Adams prefers to talk you through it. What’s worse than Helga’s approach was her lack of compassion. She seemed to take delight in forcefully manipulating the parts into place, as she taught us how to tuck. She would grab and squeeze, pull and push. Oh I tell you, her technique was so very painful.”

“W - What happened to her?”

“I don’t know for sure, but according to some of the girls in the upper years, Helga was lesbian. Now, I know that Ellen is very open-minded about a persons sexual preference. But according to the grapevine, Helga treated all the transgendered boys as rough as she did me. What’s more, I’m told that while she taught the genetic girls to shave or wax, so they would look good in their swimsuits or skirts, she fondled them. Like I said Ellen is very tolerant, except when it comes to the students here. She doesn’t tolerate anything that would jeopardize a student’s health, safety, or the reputation of this school. According to the rumors Ellen, got the evidence she needed and gave it to a friend of hers. The only thing we know for sure is that Helga is gone.”

“Does anyone know where she went?”

“No one knows for sure, but some of the older girls think she is spending some time at a ‘State run Institution of Higher Education’ for the next thirty to fifty years.”

“She’s where?” I asked, not understanding Beca's reference.

“We believe she is at the Utah state prison at ‘Point of the Mountain’. It’s rumored that she was convicted of over twenty five counts of sexual abuse of a minor.”

“Wow, Ellen must have some connections.”

“Like I said, don’t ever cross her. There is nothing more important to her than the physical and mental well being of the students here. Well, you seem to be feeling better, shall we move on to your next lesson?”

“My next lesson, I thought we were going to lunch?” I asked, being very puzzled.

“That’s right sis, Lunch. It’s time you learned to eat like a girl,” Beca giggled.

With that, we got up and went over to the cafeteria where we got our lunches. Beca got a taco salad for herself, mashed potatoes, gravy, and veggies for me.

“Beca, I would prefer the taco salad,” I said politely.

“Not today sis. In fact, for the next couple of days I will be selecting your meals.”

“But why, I don’t understand?” I asked, again puzzled.

“Because that’s what big sisters are for.” Is all she would tell me.

Beca led me to a small dining room, just off of the main dinning room, instead of to the table that we were at yesterday. There were two place settings of silverware already on the table. Beca sat down at one and so I naturally sat at the other. That’s when I began to notice something-strange. The silverware at my place was unusually small, like something meant for a baby.

“What’s with the small fork and spoon?” I asked.

“Well, the eating habits of boys are usually on the over indulgent side. So we always start new girls off with these utensils so they can get into the habit of taking smaller bites. You will need to use these for about the next four days, we’ll see if you are ready to graduate to standard utensils on Monday,” Beca said as if there were nothing unusual about it. “Oh, by the way, we have a set for you to take home with you so you can do your home work.”

“I can’t use these at home. What will the rest of my family say?” I asked.

“Well I don’t know about your family, but when I was at home people came and went at all different times. Meals together as a family were usually few and far between,” Beca said, remembering her childhood. “Anyway the rules say that you are to eat twelve meals with these. You can use them at home and get it over with fast, or you can just use them here and use these all next week. The choice is yours,” she said, as she started in on her salad.

“Well I guess that’s why the choice of the potatoes and veggies,” I said as I picked up what looked like a baby sized spoon, and started in on my lunch. “I guess a taco salad would be kind of hard to manage with these,” I said with a giggle, Beca simply nodded her head.

About the time Beca had finished her lunch and I’d eaten about half of mine, Beca surprised me.

"Matilda, you know what, you’re sure are a lucky girl," Beca said.

"Why do you say that?"

"Because you’re Mom really loves you and is okay with all of this."

“Yes, well, my Mother is very special. She understood me and my need to be a girl, even before I understood it myself. You know, I don't know how . . . but she always seems to know when I'm sad or I'm going to cry. I'll bet this morning must have been almost as hard for Mom as it was for me, feeling that I needed her and not being able to be there for me."

I suddenly had a deeper love and respect for my Mother, as I realized how deeply she really loved me. It's kind of funny, but it took explaining it to someone else for me to truly realize just how special my Mother is. I need to have a long talk with Mom tonight and tell her how much I love her and appreciate her . . .

"Yoo hoo; earth to Matilda, are you going to wake up and finish your lunch?" Beca asked, as she gently shook me.

"I'm sorry, I was thinking about my Mother," I said shyly.

"Hey that's okay but you need to finish your lunch. You've got another class to get to,"

"You want me to eat faster, how about giving me a regular fork or spoon?"

"Sorry, that I can’t do, I suggest less talk and more action," Beca said with a giggle, while flexing her arm at the elbow.

It took a bit longer than I expected but I did finished most of my lunch. After returning the dishes to the kitchen Beca led me back to my room.

"I thought I had a class to get to?" I asked. "Why are we back here?"

"You do have a class. I'm your teacher for the afternoon. Today's lesson is ‘Walking’; from now until 2:00 I’m going to teach you how to walk like a lady."

"What's wrong with the way I walk?"

"Nothing, if you want to tell the whole world you're a boy in girl's clothing."

"I'm sorry, I said I'd do whatever I was asked to do," I said shyly. "Where do we begin?"

"That's better," said Beca. She then got a dictionary from the shelves above the computer. "We'll start with this."

She handed me the dictionary, it must have weighed five pounds, bigger than any dictionary I'd ever seen.

"What do I do with this?"

"It's simple, stand up straight, put the dictionary on your head and walk across the room."

That sounds simple enough, so I took the dictionary and went over to the door and put it on my head. The dictionary of course had a mind of its own and immediately jumped off. I picked it up and tried it again. The fourth time it fell I began to think that the dictionary just didn’t like long hair, when Beca offered the suggestion, "Lift your chin."

"What do you mean?"

"The top of your head is flat. If you lift your chin the flat spot will be horizontal and the book will stay up."

"Hey it works," I said. That is until I took a step. After many more failures I’d about come to the conclusion that it couldn't be done. Beca on the other hand was sitting comfortably on the sofa, openly laughing at the antics and contortions I’d been going through in my various attempts.

"Matilda, pretend there's a rope coming down from the ceiling that's attached to the top of your head. It's lifts you up two inches, it straightens your back and lifts your head at the same time."

I followed her instructions, standing up straight and lifting my head at the same time.

"Okay now walk across the room while keeping your back and head in that position."

I followed Beca's instructions and walked across the room, turned and went back.

"Better," Beca said, "Now walk across and back again only this time don't stomp."

"Don't what?"

"Don't stomp your feet as you walk, girl's glide as they walk, while boy's on the other hand stomp around like a herd of elephants."

It took several more times back and forth before I came to the realization of what Beca meant.

"Very good, now put the dictionary on your head and do it again."

I'd like to say that I walked perfectly, but anyone who has been through this little exercise knows that it takes a lot of time to master. But owing to the determination by both Beca and myself, I eventually succeeded in crossing the room and returning, several times without dropping the dictionary.

"That's great Matilda," Beca said, complementing me on the amount of progress I'd made. "Tomorrow, we'll do this again and then we'll tackle the stairs. So how do you feel about today?"

"Well, considering everything that's happened, I really feel pretty good."

"That's great. It's almost 2:00 and there's one more thing we need to do, before we get you changed, so you can go home."

"What's that?" I asked with a smile.

"Well, um . . . You may not like this but . . . oh geeze . . . Look I'm trying to figure out how to do this without you falling apart like you did this morning."

"Well what is it that I need to do?" I asked softly. I almost dreaded the answer to that question, but I had to ask.

"I'm sorry Matilda but I'm supposed to watch you practice tucking. I'm just trying to figure out how to do it without you having to be naked. I know how much that upsets you."

I was scared, Beca was sympathetic, and we both just sat on the sofa looking at each other for a few minutes.

"Would it be easier if I had Miss Adams' come in?" Beca asked.

"Oh no, that wouldn't help at all."

"Well how about this. Would it upset you too much for me to see you in just your underwear?"

“Well, I don't know . . . Umm, I guess not,” I said shyly.

“Okay we'll do it this way. Take off your skirt and blouse. Then go into the bathroom and take off your panties. Open the door a little and put just your hand out holding the panties. Then close the door and put them back on while tucking everything back into place. When you’re done come out and we’ll see how well you did. Do you think you can do that?”

“Well it sounds a lot better to me than me being naked and having you watch me,” I said.

“All right, let’s get started them.”

I slowly took off my blouse and skirt, laying them neatly on the bed and went into the bathroom. I had a little trouble holding things in place while I pulled up the panties the first time; the second time was a little easier. After that Beca told me to get dressed in my clothes, putting the school’s underwear down a laundry shoot in the bathroom. Then Beca took me back to the administration building, and to Mom’s office. The baby-sized utensils had already been delivered to Mom's office, of course she had no idea what there for.

I knocked on Mom’s office door as we arrived.

“Come in,” I heard Mom call out.

"Hi Mom, ready to go?" I asked as Beca and I entered.

"Hello Matilda, hello Beca," Mom greeted us. "Oh Matilda, I heard about your morning. I'm so sorry I wasn't able to be there for you. I know how embarrassed you must have been, how you must have felt."

My Mother of all people (aside from Rachael) could sense my feelings.

"It's okay Mom, you didn't know. Neither of us knew what was going to happen. I guess I had a right to be nervous this morning, I just didn't know why," I said. "Beca was there for me and her being there helped a lot. Beca says that I only have to go through that once, although I do need to practice, it's kind of hard to get everything just right. It's also kind of uncomfortable, but I guess I'll get used to it."

"Oh Sweetheart, I still wish I'd been there to help you through it," Mom said softly.

"I know Mom, if you could have been there you would have, but I'm okay Mom really. Oh Mom, you can help me with another problem though. Some really small silverware should have been delivered."

"Oh yes, they were delivered about an hour ago," Mom said as she opened a drawer and lifted out the silverware, looking at them curiously. "I couldn't help but wonder what something like these would be used for around here."

"They’re part of girl 101. I have to eat twelve meals with these. How are we going to explain these to the rest of the family?" I shook my head while asking for mom's help. I wonder if I'll ever get tired of my hair tickling my ears.

"These are so very tiny. Are you able to get enough to eat with these little things?" Mom giggled as she asked.

"Well it's a slow process, but I did manage to eat my lunch with them," I answered.

"I guess we'll just have to figure something out sweetheart," Mom said. "So Beca, how'd she do with these?"

"Well she did take a lot longer than most new girls," Beca said with a smile.

I turned to look as her in disbelief. I was going to say something in my own defense, when Beca continued.

"I guess that's because she talked the whole time," she said while giggling.

"I was not!" I quickly countered.

Beca just giggled for a few seconds more.

"Of course you weren't, I'm just teasing again. In all honesty Matilda did very well, actually better than most on there first day in girl 101."

"Well that's good to hear, although not entirely unexpected," Mom told Beca. "I suppose you're our escort out today?"

"That would be me," Beca said with a smile and a curtsy.

It was just about 2:30 when we were ready to leave. I’m really beginning to wonder what else goes on here. The security is way too tight for just a school.

“Oh Mom, we need to stop and get me some additional panties,” I said as we were driving home.

“My goodness, you have so many in your drawer now that it takes you two weeks to wear each one once, why do you need more?”

“I know Mom, but I need some that are one size smaller than what I wear. I’m supposed to stay ‘Tucked’ all the time, except when I’m in bed. That requires two tight pairs in addition to my regular underwear.”

“I’ll bet that makes going to the bathroom a bit more challenging?”

“Well yes, it does take a little longer. And I always have to sit to go, but then so does every girl. So I guess I won’t be any different. Except what we do after we’re finished,” I giggled.

Mom chuckled at my feeble attempt at humor, “That’s pretty bad Matilda. You better work on your jokes.”

“Sorry Mom.”

“Oh well, what’s another dozen pairs of panties between friends?”

“Oh Mom, now that’s a real bad, who is it that needs to work on those jokes? Anyway I’m sorry that this will make extra laundry for you. Maybe I should start doing my own laundry, especially with you going to work at the Manor. You aren’t going to have time to do everybody’s laundry.”

“Well maybe I should start teaching everyone do their own laundry. But I think for now I should continue do Matilda’s laundry, we wouldn't want anyone becoming suspicious.”

“You’re probably right about that Mom. Oh Mom, what are we going to tell everyone about the tiny silverware?”

“Well, all I’ve come up with is, I tell everyone that you are being punished for eating like a pig at lunch, and I'm making you use them until Monday to teach you better table manners. What do you think of that?”

“I guess that’ll work, I’m going to have to pretend to be upset at having to use them, won’t I?”

“Yes that would help. Just think about telling your Father about Matilda; that should make you look upset.”

“Mom that would have me shaking so bad I wouldn’t be able to eat, especially if Dad’s there.”

“Well just think of something that makes you sad, and I think we will get away with the story.”

We got home and I changed. Matt had returned once again, but being tucked made everything seam a little different. Rachael got home shortly after Mom and I did and wanted to know everything that happened at school. Of course, I did leave out a few embarrassing details. Hey a girl needs a few secrets, doesn’t she?

So day three as Matilda has come to a close. In three day’s I’ve gone from a scared little boy, to a beauty queen, to terrified, to utterly humiliated, to an average student. I’m almost afraid of what tomorrow will bring. But time waits for no man, or girl in this case. As the night ticked away the sun began to slowly peek over the tops of the Rocky Mountains, slowly bathing the valley with its warming light pushing away the shadows of the night, another new day is dawning.

Beca met us as we arrived at the doors of the administration building and whisked me away. Changing into my uniform was a lot easier the second day as I wasn't quite so self-conscious about Beca seeing me in my underwear.

"We'll do this pretty much like yesterday Matilda. Take off your skirt and blouse and leave them on the bed. Then go into the bathroom and take off your underwear and hand them out. I'll hand you the school underwear, put them on and them come out to finish getting dressed."

"I'm still not sure why I have to change my underwear? It seams like a waste of time, and extra laundry to me."

"Well I don't pretend to know all the reasons, but the rules are very clear. Anyone attending classes at the Manor is to be in school issued clothing at all times."

“You mean that everything you wear, your uniforms and your every day clothes, all your clothes are provided by the school?”

“Yes everything. So let’s not stand around and question the rules, get your clothes off and get into the bathroom,” Beca said while trying to swat my bottom. I saw it coming this time and scooted out of her reach.

“Yes Mom,” I said to Beca with a giggle.

I dressed quickly and we went to my morning class, ‘Voice and Public Speaking. Beca led me to the building with the cafeteria, but this time we went up to a small classroom on the third floor.

“Matilda this is Miss Janis Baker. Miss Baker, this is Matilda.” Beca’s introduction seemed so formal this morning, I wasn’t sure why.

“Good morning Miss Baker,” I said politely.

“Good morning Matilda, it’s nice to meet you. Ellen told me you would be attending class this morning and each day next week.”

“Miss Baker, I don’t see any class,” I said.

“That’s because you're in a class by yourself, in other words this is a class that is held on an as needed basis. When someone needs help with their voice I shift from my regular classes and offer special instruction in voice, tone and pronunciation. I will be listening to you speak and help you make any corrections that are necessary so you will sound proper for a girl of your age.”

“As long as we are talking about age, you do know that I’m almost ten don’t you?” I questioned.

“Well Matilda, I did assume that you are ten although from appearance you look to be eight or nine.”

“That’s okay Miss Baker, a lot of people think I’m only eight. That’s one of the many problems I have to deal with. Most people think that my eight-year-old sister and I are twins. It’s really kind of annoying sometimes.”

“Well now shall we get started? What I’d like you to do is read for me. I have a selection of books and magazines. Pick anything you like and just start reading out loud. I will listen to you, as you're reading I will give you instructions as to changes I want you to make.”

So that’s how my morning went. Quite a switch from when I was young and my mother read to me. Now I’m doing the reading and Miss Baker is doing the listening. Of course she did help me a lot, changing tone, tempo and lots of other things. I spent Friday morning with her, and will every morning the following week. Six days in all, it should have been seven but I took so long getting dressed yesterday that I never made it.

After my voice lesson, Beca and I went to lunch. Today both Beca and I had the same thing, some New England style clam chowder with fresh bread sticks and salad. Everything tasted really good. I guess Beca knew how good the clam chowder here is because she got some for herself as well as selecting it for me. The only difference between us is that I took twice as long to finish. I tell you what; eating clam chowder with that tiny spoon just took so long; a thimble would have been faster. I had to think quickly to overcome the temptation to pick up the bowel and drink it as Matt frequently did. As a young lady such conduct would be unthinkable. So I just kept at it, and at it, eventually I did finish my lunch. It took so long my arm was getting tired.

After lunch we went back to my room for more “Walking,” by the end of the day I could put the dictionary on my head, leave my room walk down the corridor to the stairs and go down to the first floor. Walk to the other end of the building and go up the stairs to the third floor. Walk to the opposite end of the building, down the stairs to the second floor and back to my room. A busy day to be sure, but at least there were no tear causing surprises.

Well I now get two days to relax before starting in again on Monday or do I? Relaxation has different meanings depending on the circumstances you find yourself in, doesn’t it?

*** To be continued ***

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