What was lost…
copyright 2011 Faeriemage
Treasure is in the eye of the beholder, and no this isn't a D&D reference.

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AUTHOR'S NOTE: I am tired and don't really have the patience right now to go look, so if this information about Jackie's dad is wrong, then I will change whatever I said in a previous chapter. From what I remember, I've mostly kept his mom and dad out of the story, so I think this information is correct.

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Wendy rolled over and went back to sleep when my alarm woke me on Saturday morning. She didn't seem to be a morning person, and I could live with that. I considered how much worse that everything could have gone last night, and I let out a sigh of relief. Sure, I'd have to keep from telling everyone about who I was, but the people who did know seemed to be dealing with it well so far.

Except for Brad.

I really felt like I was going to spend most of the rest of my life saying that. I wasn't really attracted to anyone except for Brad. School would be easy for me, except for Brad. I'd be able to move on with my life, get my degree, and never really worry about the people I met here in school, except for Brad.

See where I'm going with this?

And that morning was no exception. I got dressed in a warm and conservative outfit and made my way out to the storage locker for the auction. There were some nods from people I'd seen before, and Stan complemented my appearance. Especially my new haircut. It had become such a part of me that I kind of forgot that I even had a new haircut sometimes.

It felt…right.

I pulled my jacket around me, hugging myself, to try to ward of the chill in the air. I expected it would warm up a bit as the day progressed, but for now there was a bit of frost on the ground that I was having a hard time ignoring.

There wasn't anything on the list of units up for sale that really struck me as being worth bidding on, at least at first glance. When we were walking around the lot, something in the list began to scream out at me. One of the units just felt so…off.

It might have been the smell coming from the unit or who knows what, but I felt it would be a good idea if I picked it up. It went to me for the lowest price that I'd ever paid. $100. The manager cut the lock, and I put my own there. I wasn't planning on looking inside until the auctions were done for the day.

Nothing else struck me, and I ended up with just the one unit.

It was just coming round to nine o'clock in the morning when I opened up the door and saw the most surprising thing in the world.

To explain how I even knew what it was, I have to explain a little about my Dad. He was a WWII enthusiast. He loved the history about the war. He loved movies about the war. He belonged to a couple of war game groups and he was playing three different games by mail. Avalon Hill played a major role in our household.

I think he's actually part of the reason that I got into Role Playing Games in the first place. He showed me that a game doesn't have to be Sorry or Risk to be enjoyable, and in fact, the more that the rules actually reflected reality, the more complex the game, the more room to really play there was.

And it wasn't just dramatizations or fictional accounts that he liked. He watched the documentaries almost more than he watched the fictionalized movies. Which isn't to say that we didn't own a copy of Patton.

So, when I opened the door and saw a WWII field artillery piece I was floored. My first thought was that my dad would have loved this. My second thought was: what in the world have I just purchased?

I closed the door, locked it again, and went to the front office and called the police. I was pretty sure that if there were problems with people owning assault rifles that there would be serious issues with someone owning a cannon.

The person at the 911 office at first had no idea what I was talking about, and then sort of freaked and thought I was threatening the storage facility with an artillery piece. So, next thing I know, SWAT is driving up with a bunch of squad cars and they're all freaking out.

An officer who looked vaguely familiar walked up to me.

"It looks like you got out of the hospital ok. We've still got the guys who tried to rape you in custody. Has anyone contacted you about appearing in court?"

"Wait, weren't you the campus cop?"

He laughed at this. "There is only the one type here, miss. So, do you know what's going on?"

"Yes, the previous owner of the storage unit I purchased was storing a cannon."

"What?"

I lead him over to the locker and opened the door. He spoke into the radio clipped to his shoulder, and there went my Saturday morning. I spent the next few hours being interview by officers and standing around waiting to be interviewed by officers.

Then the news crews came, and everything went from bad to worse. Well for me, anyway. Anyone who has been following this narrative closely, and by that I mean everyone out there, will know that up until this point I've not only neglected to tell my mother about my life change, but I haven't even called her at all.

"Miss, can you tell us about the cannon?"

I noticed that the reporter was for a local station, "Not much, I'm afraid. It was there when I opened the door."

"Isn't it your storage unit?"

"Yes, but before today it wasn't. I purchased the unit, sight unseen, this morning."

The next reporter to speak had a CNN logo on his camera. I hoped that this was only wishful thinking, but it reminded me that I really needed to contact my mom before anything else came up that would have her finding out my secret from someone else.

"You had no idea what was in the locker before you opened it? I find that hard to believe."

"Believe it or not, it's the truth. You can make a lot of money bidding on storage units, or lose your shirt. It's a bit like roulette, only it's legal."

And on, and on, and…well, you get the point. It was like none of them were listening to the other, and I ended up answering the same questions over and over. Finally, the police closed off the area, I gave my final statement and signed it, and I was free to leave.

The first thing I did was purchase a phone. No, not an iPhone. I picked up a Galaxy Tab 10.1. Sure, a little big for a phone, as it has a 10.1" screen, but come on. It is a tablet PC and a phone all wrapped up in one. Did I mention it has up to 14 hours of continual usage?

Sorry, I'm geeking out over it, but I think it's cool. I picked up a bluetooth headset as well. There's no way I'm holding a tablet up to my ear to use the phone features.

So, I got signed up for phone service, set it up to automatically withdraw from my bank account, and made my first call.

"Hello?" the voice asked from the other end of the connection.

"Hi, Julie."

"Jackie?"

"You remembered!"

"Course I did, you silly goof. You get everything resolved with the boyfriend?"

"Boy…Brad's just a friend!" I said, blushing entirely too much, and glad that she couldn't see me.

"And I'm the queen of Sheeba," she replied

"Yes, your majesty."

We both giggled a bit at this before Julie brought me back to task.

"So, like I said, everything resolved with Brad?" She wasn't going to let me juyst get away with this.

"I haven't seen him since we last talked. Well, you and I talked. Brad and I didn't do much talking..."

"Jackie. You little…"

"Kissing, Julie. Kissing. That's all we did."

"Then why…"

"I told him it would be at least a year before I was legally, and physically, female."

"Oh…oh! You mean…"

"Yes. Surgery."

"Wow. I still haven't…I mean..." Julie cut off suddenly. I thought about what she said for a moment and then it dawned on me.

"Wait, are you telling me…"

"No. I'm not saying anything," she said evasively, but I knew I had her

"You can't leave me like this, girlfriend. Spill."

"I'm transgendered," Julie said.

"See, was that too tough?"

"We moved to your town because my Dad figured it would be easier to live in a small town with my secret than in a city. Something about people in the boonies taking things more at face value," she said this all matter-of-factly, almost quietly.

"That and his company moved him to the plant out there."

"He requested the transfer," was her reply to the question I'd only partially asked.

"I never knew."

"Well, now you know. Next time I'm out to visit Matt we'll have to get together."

"Wait, you and Matt?" The thought blew my mind. Sure, Matt had been a member of our little role playing group for years, but I never though that he was interested in the bookish Julie.

The other end of the line was quiet for so long that I thought we might have been disconnected. I looked at the screen to verify there was still a connection. There was, and just as I was about to talk, Julie began again.

"You can't tell him, Ok, Jackie? He doesn't know about me."

"Why haven't you told him?"

"You know Matt."

"Actually, I do know Matt. I've known Matt since the two of us were in pre-school. He was the reason that there were no bullies in our high school, did you know that? He just…made sure that everyone was taken care of."

"What about Felix?" She asked. Felix had made many of the girls at our school uncomfortable for a bit at the beginning of our junior year. There were even rumors about his extracurricular activities, none of which were proven.

"Felix only took about two weeks before what Matt was saying finally got through to him."

"But…"

"You knew that Felix's dad beat him while his mom watched? Matt was there when the police took him to jail. Then, he made sure that Felix was safe in the home they moved him to."

"I never knew that."

"Course not. You were a girl. You weren't a part of the cleanup squad as he called us. Well, mostly it was the football players, but I sort of tagged along."

"Yeah, how did he keep the football players from being meatheads?" Julie asked.

"Convinced the coach to have all of them sign a morality contract. If they broke any part of it they got kicked from the team."

"Jackie, this is no fair. You know him better than I do. All I want to do now is call him and tell him how much…how much I love him."

"Tell him the other thing, as well."

"Not over the phone, Jackie."

"Then when?"

"I'm going to be out there for Halloween. We'll both tell him then."

I stopped talking and just thought about it. I wanted to protest, but that would be doing exactly what I'd just talked Julie out of. Something occurred to me.

"Why haven't you had your surgery?" I asked her.

"Well, um…I don't have the money and my insurance won't cover it."

"How much does it cost?"

"The doctor I talked to said it would be $25,000. I could go out of the country for less, but I really don't feel comfortable doing that."

I sat there for a moment thinking. I was planning on continuing to work through my schooling. A couple of hours once a week wasn't cutting into any of my study time. I enjoyed finding stuff in the storage lockers. I was hooked to the rush of it all. Money for the last big haul I'd had was still coming in as the antiques dealer sold the goods. I was set.

"Julie, would you be mad if I offered you a loan of $25,000? I want to give this to you, since I can't get it yet on my own."

I could hear her begin to cry on the other end of the line. "I can't take your schooling away from you."

"It isn't, Jules. It is beyond the cost for all five years of school. And I'm still working."

"You have…"

"A lot. Found a really good job," I said with a grin.

"I don't know what to say…"

"Then say yes, for me, ok? It is a purely selfish request."

"Then yes. I say yes. I'll get the surgery scheduled for after Halloween. I'll be able to tell Matt that not only am I who I am…but I am going to be getting surgery to correct my little birth defect."

I smiled through my tears. I was so jealous of her in that moment. Jealous of her happiness that was denied me for the time being. We spoke for another half an hour, and then she had to go. I was smiling when I got off the phone with her.

I'd gotten her details while we were on the phone with each other, and so I went looking for an app I'd heard about. A download and a couple of clicks later and I'd done my first wire transfer.

I felt so black hat. I snorted at the thought a moment later and dialed my home number.

"Hello, Mom."

"Honey?"

"I have a lot to talk about. Sorry I haven't called regularly."

And I began to share everything that had happened to me since I came to school. I went into more depth than I had at any point previously. I talked about my thoughts and feelings. And I talked about Brad. Especially about Brad. When I got done, my mom's response was nothing like I'd expected it to be."

"Don't worry if the first guy you set your sights on doesn't have the same feelings for you that you have for him. You are a beautiful young lady and some day you'll find someone who will see that."

"Mom!"

"What did you want me to say? That I forbid you from doing this? You are an adult, Jackie. That means you make your own decisions. I choose to be a part of your life, whatever that means to me. Am I perfectly alright with this? No. To tell you the truth, Jackie, it freaks me out a bit. It is so far outside my world. But I will support you, and treat you like the young lady you believe that you are." She paused for a few moments and then continued, "besides, young lady, I've got eighteen years of motherly advice to make up for with my new daughter."

"Your only daughter, you mean."

"Exactly. Now, something I'd never tell my daughter, but I'll tell you, is that you know how boys think, or at least should. They are independent, pig headed, and don't tend to take advice well. Give Brad time, honey. Don't push him. Let him process all of this. Oh, and make sure that you are ready before you have sex with him. I know how…exciting…first love can be. He's going to pressure you eventually. If he can't respect your wishes to wait, then he isn't worth respect."

"And there are always other boys where he came from?"

"Oh, I hope not. Honey, you will have your heart broken more than once in this life. He may be the one, but there are still times he will break your heart. Part of being a woman is realizing that we were put her to make relationships work. No, I'm not talking about staying in a bad relationship. I'm talking of all the little things that a woman does. We can make them want to stay forever or run for the hills."

"You make it sound like we have all the power."

"No, but we have an equal amount of it. The problem is that most guys are passive in their approach to a relationship. Sure, if they want something out of it, then they can be really attentive. Girls are active in their response to a relationship."

"That seems so…"

"Backwards? Of course it is. Our society makes the men take the active role because that is how women see each partners role in a relationship and it makes them feel loved. Same thing about women taking a passive role. The problem is when they relax after the initial courtship and expect the romance to continue."

"So…you are telling me it's my job to keep the romance alive in my relationships?"

"No, it's your job to gently remind your partner that you need him to woo you."

I smiled, hoping I'd be able to do so.

"Thanks, mom."

We spoke for a little while longer, and then said good bye with promises to talk soon.

I made my way home using the buses again. It was so relaxing to take transportation compared to walking to and from the storage facilities.

I saw someone sitting on my bed out of the corner of my eye, and assumed it was my roommate. "Wendy, you'll never believe what happened…"

I stopped up short. Wendy wasn't Wendy.

It was Brad.

"Hey, Jackie. Wendy let me sit here and wait for you."

"Brad?"

"You are a hard person to get in touch with."

I wanted to rush over to him, to throw my arms around him, but my mother's advice came back to me and I just stood there.

"I got a phone." I gave him my number, "I'm available any time that you'd like to call me."

He began to smile and he stood up. "Jackie?"

"Yes, Brad?"

"Are you available now?" he asked with a goofy grin. "Jackie, you are the most wonderful person I've ever known. Man, woman, it doesn't matter to me. I can see you as you were when I first met you, and sometimes I see you that way in my dreams. I can see you as you are now. You are the only person I have ever really loved.

"I know I'll make mistakes, and some day you may come to hate me, but I will do my best to make you happy."

I began to cry and he took me in his arms. He lowered me to the bed and just held me there. I don't know how long we lay there, his strong arms surrounding me. It was an eternity. It was a single moment. All I really knew in that moment what this place was where I was always meant to be.