Appraisal by Jayne Morose.

“You wanted to see me?”

Greg had just walked into the site office cabin. As a third year apprentice, he did not normally have to see the site engineer and was usually under the direction of one of the dozen or so tradesmen on site.

“Yes please, take a seat.”

Greg seated himself behind the desk, the laptop computer barely visible behind the piles of paperwork and drawings. There was a look of concern on his face.

“Right Greg, don't look so worried.” The engineer smiled. “I have just got off the phone with the office and I have, it appears, been very remiss in my duties towards you. I am supposed to conduct a monthly review of you and your work, a sort of mini appraisal, if you like.”

“Review? Is there something wrong with my work?”

“No, not at all! But we like to review how you are getting on with things and to see if there is anything we can do for you. ”

“Okay.”

“Well, you have been on this site, what, three months..”

“Yes.”

“And how are you finding working here?”

“Its all right.”

“Okay, so tell me, what have you been doing since you stared here?”

“Errr, been working with big Dave, pulling in and terminating CY cables.”

“And how are you finding that?”

“'S okay. Bit boring though.”

“boring? What do you mean?”

“Well, S'like same thing every day. Pick up paper, install cable as per paper, go home.”

“Yes, but big Dave seems happy with it.”

“S'pose so.”

“Look, everyone started out as an apprentice and has done tasks repeatedly until they are competent to do them on their own. What about college?”

“College? S'okay I suppose.”

“You don't sound too enthused. Is there a problem with college?”

“Well, the classes and stuff are okay...”

“That is good to know, but you don't look too pleased?”

“look, it's okay. Still going aren't I.”

“I hope so too. You need to complete the course to get your certificates you know.”

“S'ppose so.”

“So tell me, what is the problem with college?”

“Err, don't want to talk about it.”

“Why?”

“Err, just don't. “

“Fine. So, what have you been doing in college?”

“Lighting theory mostly, oh, and maths.”

“Like gerzinters?”

“Gerzinters?”

“Yes, like three gerzinter six twice, that sort of thing.”

Greg smiled. The engineer continued, “Well, at least you have shown you can smile. Tell me about the lighting?”

“Err, we have been doing street lighting, you know, lux level calcs that sort of thing.”

“Okay, good. Did you know that if you plant light bulbs in the ground, they eventually grow into lamp posts?”

The smile widened across Greg's face, eventually developing into a giggle and then full blown laughter.

“See,” the engineer continued, “college isn't the only place you can learn!”

A few moments later, when Greg had calmed down, they resumed.

“So, going back to college. You only have another five months left. Do you plan to continue once you've finished?”

“Errm. Not thought 'bout it.”

“Why not?”

“Well, do I have to go back to that place?”

“It depends entirely on what you want to do. Look Greg, you have done very well with us over the past three years, you have worked hard and the lads like you, you get good grades at college too. We would be happy to allow you to continue with your studies when qualified. We feel that with a few more years, you could be looking at a promising future. What do you think?”

“Well, dunno really.”

“Look, I can see it written plainly across your face, so I will as you plainly, what is wrong?”

“Errr....”

“Anything you say here stays here, if there is something wrong with college or anything else, you can talk to me about it and I won't let anyone else know, if you don't want me to.”

“Errm. Dunno.”

“Put it this way, I have heard it all before. Relationships, family difficulties, financial difficulties. If there is anything we can do to help, even if it is just a friendly ear, I am always here. I take the well being of the staff under my care very seriously, you know.”

“Errm, thanks.”

“So, reading between the lines, I can tell that there is something wrong. Now you may not think it is a company matter, but we do pay you for your time there and have an expectation that you will do well by us there too. So, if there is a problem, I would rather hear about it. But, if you really don't want to talk about it, that's okay too...”

“Err, can I talk 'bout it another time?”

“That's fine. Okay, is there anything else I can do for you?”

“well, erm, could I have a look at the company handbook please, if you have one. Cant find mine.”

The engineer rummaged in one of the desk drawers and produced a battered booklet. “There you go.”

“Thanks.”

Greg flicked through the handbook, clearly looking for something specific.

“Is there anything in particular you would like me to clarify for you. Greg?”

“Err. Nah, its okay.”

Greg had clearly found what he was looking for, as he had stopped leafing through the pages and was reading intently, his brow furrowed in concentration and mumbling aloud the odd word.

Greg finally handed back the handbook. “Everything okay Greg?”

“Yeah. Thanks.”

“So, anything you want to ask?”

Greg sat there not saying too much, but the look on his face spoke volumes. He went slightly red and clamped his lips shut.

The engineer put the handbook down on the desk and it opened on the page marked 'Diversity Policy.' It was obvious what Greg was looking at, as his hands had marked the clean pages, his thumb prints on the section about discrimination.

'It is company policy that no person shall be subject to harassment or discrimination due to race, religion or belief, sexuality, gender expression or disability.....'

“Greg?”

“Sorry. Are we done?”

“Sure, unless there is anything you care to discuss. Remember, my office is always open.”

Greg stood up and left the office.

A few days later, there was a knock on the office door.

“Come in. Oh hi Greg, what can I do for you today?”

“Errrm. You said I could come and like, see you...”

“Thats fine Greg, take a seat.”

Greg sat, hands in his lap, looking to the floor.

“So, what can I do for you?”

“Well, you said if I wanted to talk to you I could...”

“Thats right. As I said before, we take the well being of our staff seriously. So, what do you want to talk about?”

“Well, its about college...”

“Go on...”

“Well, this is sort of hard to say....”

“Just take your time Greg..”

“Okay. Well, I was out with me mates on the Saturday before Christmas...”

“Okay...”

“Well, we were sorta spotted by some of the others from College and they've been giving me grief ever since...”

“grief, what, for going out...”

“Well, me and me mates, well we were going out to this fancy dress do like, so as we were in fancy dress...”

“So, lots of people go to fancy dress parties..”

“Yeah, but we were in fancy dresses...”

The engineer paused for a moment and smiled...

“Yeah, we were sorta dressed as Mrs. Christmas. Me mates thought it would be a laugh, but the lads from college, well, they wont let it lie.”

“Thats not too good.. Have you spoken to anyone at the college about this?”

“What good'll that do?”

“Well, they may be able to help. I am sure you are not the only one who gets teased there. They should have policies in place to protect you from any bullying, just like we do.”

“Errrrmmm...”

“Look, do you want me to speak to the college for you?”

“Errmmmm..”

“Okay. If you don't want me to, I wont. But if you need me to I will help, I cannot stand transphobic bullying...”

“Errr.... transwhat?”

“Transphobic. It means harassment or discrimination against transgendered people.”

“Errrm, you mean like, sex changes...”

“Well, the transsexual is one of the more extreme ends of the spectrum, but transgender refers to anyone whose gender expression lies outside the men are men, women are women type thing.”

“Err, but I'm not a transwhatsit. I only wear women's stuff sometimes...”

“Then you fall within the companies transgender policy, even occasional cross-dressers, which means people who dress as the opposite gender, are protected under our diversity and dignity at work policy. The odd ribbing is no problem, but repeated abuse and discrimination will not be tolerated by our company and this extends to college also.”

“Err, okay. This talk is private like, what you said?”

“Of course it is Greg. I will not do or talk to anyone about it without your express permission, is that okay?”

“Yeah, thanks. So.... you seem to know a fair bit about this transgender stuff...”

“Yes. Let me show you something....” The engineer reached into a bag and after a moment or two of rummaging, produced a photo, which was handed to Greg.”

“Whats this got to do with anything? Its just two ladies at a bar...”

“Look closely..”

“Huh?”

“The one on the right, thats my wife and next to her is me...”

Greg peered at the photo some more. The lady on the left was wearing a black Morticia Addams style dress, big black hair and had those Egyptian eyes you see on old Siouxie and the Banshees videos.

“...I call myself Patricia when I am out...”

“Errr, wow, couldn't tell. You look good you know.”

“Thanks you Greg. I do try! So, this dressing up, its not just a one off, is it?”

“Err, no, sorta been doing it for years, but only me mates know.”

“Well, I wont tell anyone, your secret is safe. Have you tried contacting any of the transgender groups?”

“No. Didn't even know what I was until you said.”

“Well Greg, I can, if you want, put you in touch with some if you want to explore that side of yourself more, in a safe environment..”

“That'd be cool if you could.”

Greg had visibly relaxed and was actually looking ahead, rather than down and his face was not quite as red.

“Okay, well, I'll let you get back to work, but if you change your mind about college, or you just want to talk, you know where I am.”

“Yeah, thanks.”

Greg stood up and went to the door. Looking over his shoulder, he smiled and said “Sarah....”

“pardon?”

“Sarah, thats me girl name...”

“Okay, thank you for sharing, remember, come and see me if you need anything. Bye Sarah.”

“Bye...”