Barbara Scott - Fairytale Princess
copyright 2011 Faeriemage
For Donnie, life was about to end. For Barbara life hadn't yet begun.

I woke up with my hand in a bowl of water. I personally had never known anyone who that had worked on, and it didn't work on me. I put my hand to my crotch and looked horrified for a moment and Angela started laughing.

"Thanks for giving yourself away." I said with a smirk.

"What?"

"It's called acting." I said as I stood up, displaying a bed. I'd slept in the nude the night before, and so after standing up I put on my dressing gown.

Here is where I got the nickname "Ice Queen."

I literally forgot how sheer the material of my gown was. After putting the bowl of water under Angela's pillow while she was in the bathroom, I went downstairs to get something to eat. Carlos gave me a wolf whistle when he entered the room. I glared at him.

"Look, chika, if you're gonna show off that body, then you gotta expect some attention, am I right Henry?"

"You know it, my man."

They gave each other fist bumps and chuckled at their witty repartee.

I mollified my glare and just looked at them as if they weren't there. "Well, I suppose that you two won't be here long enough for me to worry about it."

"What are you talking about?"

"Yeah, what are you spouting, Chika?"

"Since we're here looking for a Prince Charming, you two are obviously out of the running. So, get your looks in while you can, since I am way out of your league."

"Barb, are these two hoodlums giving you any trouble?" Sean took that moment to walk in.

"Nothing I couldn't handle, Sasha."

Carlos spit out his drink and Henry began laughing.

"Barb!" Sean said shocked.

"Look, Sean, if you'd told them your name was Sergei, they'd have less trouble accepting your nickname as Sasha."

"Wait, your name is Sergei?"
"Dude, that's so cool. Can we call your surge? I've always wanted a friend with a nickname of Surge."

"Sure," he said a bit distractedly, as I'd stood up and the full impact of my almost nudity struck him.

I walked imperiously out of the room.

"Barb, wait!"

Ok, so it only looked imperious. It wasn't what I intended at the time. It's just that I only then realized that I was basically naked, looked completely female, and was alone in a room with three guys. In a word, I was scared and uncomfortable, and that translated my body language into haughty.

It apparently made for good TV.

I was hugging myself in the next room when Sean found me. That was one of the scenes they never showed, of course, why show one of their villains with an emotional side. They set me up to be hated. I didn't do enough at the points when they had to show me to disprove it. If I'd had any clue how they edited these shows I would have done a much better job during the one-takes.

No, that's not an industry term, that is a me term. There are scenes in any movie or TV show that you can't redo. The time it takes to set up is simply prohibitive, or you have a couple thousand, or even hundred thousand, dollars worth of pyrotechnics for the shot. Either way, the actors all have to get it in the first "take" or first time.

As a child, I smashed the words together when they would say, "Ok, people, we need to do this in one take."

I ended up with my own term that I would use in my head. It helped me focus.

It helped, too. Think about the Fourth of July scene in "Love's Sunset", or when they were blowing up the corridor around me in "Catastrophic Failure." Or maybe the death scene in "Huguenot." Sure, the director thought I looked too girly, but hey, it was only the truth.

Ok, the death scene was a bad example, since I missed my queue the first time, and they had to set up for a second shot and we lost two days of production. It was supposed to be a one-take.

"Barb, come on. What's wrong?"

"I'm naked."

"I noticed."

I hid my face in my knees and held them to me. "I've never been this naked before. I feel exposed."

"Then put some clothing on, you silly girl."

"No, I don't mean that. I mean…I've always deal with my kind of people. Professionals. People who could handle whatever you did, or were asked to do, and move on. It didn't even occur to me to be worried about coming down to breakfast nude. Everyone would just overlook my gaffe."

I turned my head to look at him from under a fall of hair.

"I don't belong here. I'm not real."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"I'm and actor, Sean."

"You mean actress."

In that moment, I meant I was a man, and acting out a role, but Sean, sweet as ever, misunderstood my intent. He simply couldn't see it. I gave him a hug.

"Thanks for caring."

I got up and began to leave.

"Barb, where are you going?"

"To get some clothing on."

I turned in time to see Sean blushing bright red.

I blew him a kiss as I left the room.

When I got back to the room, there were a couple of guys there searching through my bags.

"What is going on here?"

"Sorry, Miss, but we were told that someone here was using a cell phone last night, so we're searching everyone's bags."

"What's this?" the other one asked.

He was holding up my bottle of Permanence.

"What does it look like?"

"Um…"

"It's nail polish, you moron," I said as I snatched it out of his hand. "I thought you were looking for cell phones, or do you think I magically made one small enough to fit inside this bottle of nail polish."

One of the guys glared at me, but the other one blushed. "Look, ma'am, this is our job."

"Then get to it, and I suggest you check the girl who is smirking behind you next."

They turned instantly on Angela, and she paled, "Wait…"

That was all the shark needed, a little blood in the water, and they descended. They were a lot less careful about Angela's stuff than they had been about mine. There was no cell phone of course, but they knew that they'd been had, and they let everyone know that not only were cell phones not allowed, like they'd told us last night, but that false reports would be dealt with severely.

After they left, Angela just let me have it.

"you bitch. How could you do that to me? They tore this top! They ruined half my makeup!"

"And the half they left is still more than most of the rest of us brought. You trying to hide your real age under a metric ton of concealer?"

I know, that line made it to the show, but I'm pretty proud of it.

She glared at me. "Not all of us have a body as fake as yours."

I couldn't help it. I laughed. Of all the insults she could come up with. "Is that all you have? Childish insults and pranks, and when they backfire you go running to daddy Shurtleff?"

"Dawn, a moment if I could?"

And there he was, standing in the doorway.

"Sure," I said blushing, and Angela began laughing at my expense.

"Angela, pull one more stunt like this and we'll kick you from the show."

"You can't…"

I have never seen a glare that literally dropped the temperature in a room before. I never want to again.

"Try me," he said to Angela, and then turning off his glare and turning back to me he said, "Dawn?"

"Yes, sir."

I followed him into the other room. "We have a couple of problems, Dawn, and we need to resolve them before we continue principle photography."

"Um."

"Very articulate. The first is that the network has already started promotion for the show. They started yesterday actually. Pretty much as soon as we finalized our picks. The entry scene was the last bit they wanted for it. They have your name there as Barbara."

I felt my heart sinking, "And the second problem?"

"Sean called you Barb in a spot we can't edit."

"Then it's simple, Mark, tell the network that my SAG card is under the name of Dawn Leary because I changed it when I joined the guild. I always thought that Dennis Leary was a great comedian, and I liked the idea of it being a new dawn to my career."

"That sounds…what's your real name?"

"A girl's gotta have some secrets."

I don't know why, but I kissed him on the cheek as I went out of the room.

"Wait, but what about Barbara?"

"I used my real name when I tried out for the show since I didn't think that Dawn Leary would be let through the door at the cattle call."

"You're prescient. I would have signed you right there for my next romantic movie."

"That's sweet, but after this I think I'll be out of the spotlight for a while. I have some issues I need to work through."

"The death of your husband?"

I smirked. Oh the little lies we tell.

"Mark, I've never slept with a man."

"But…oh…Oh!" His eyes got really wide at this, "You're Wife!?"

"Now he gets it. I changed it during the one-take yesterday since I didn't think national television was ready for a lesbian widow. And before you say what you are thinking of saying, there is a closet lesbian and an open one also in your group of sixteen, as well as the fact that I think I'm more bisexual that anything else."

"Huh?"

"I'm attracted to both guys and girls. You should understand that. After all, it's kind of obvious that I think you're sexy."

"Who?"

"The lesbians? I won't tell you, Mark, but if everything goes well then they might just let everyone know during the course of this."

"How will I be able…"

"Mark, this is reality TV. All you do is change the script that you keep behind the scenes. When you figure out who it is, quietly tell them that instead of picking one of the guys, they can pick each other. Sure, you have four people leave in one elimination, but it makes for great TV, if their up for it. Otherwise you let them know the guys who will be eliminated in two successive eliminations and they go out that way."

Mark was silent for a moment or two, and then he looked at me with a glint in his eye, "I have no idea what you mean, Ms. Leary."

He got up and left after that, but it was all the confirmation I'd needed. I knew there was a fix somewhere in this competition, and I thought I had some idea where it was.

It was little things that clued me in at that point, but little did I know the full extent of the lie.

Sophie was screaming when I got back to the room, and not in ecstasy.

"You little bitch!"

"Yes, Angela is that, but what did she do this time, Soph?"

"She put my hand in a dish of water and I peed the bed."

I blinked, "You mean that actually works with some people?"

She blushed and opened her mouth, but I continued.

"Angela tried the same thing with me. That is why her pillow is wet. I put her bowl of water under her pillow."

Before Angela could make one of her ill thought out come-backs, Melinda spoke up.

"Ladies, it's too early in the morning to be this angry. Angela, you are an adult, not some teenager. Start acting your age. Dawn, stop provoking Angela. Sure, she's pretty when she's angry, but from what I've seen Sean is more the one to get your motor running. Sophie, let's get you cleaned up."

And there was mom again, defusing another situation.

I relieved myself and then got dressed. Cotton top and pants that fit me like a glove. No underwear today. I loved the caress on my butt when I walked. I was thinking about the guys reactions to me and could feel myself straining against my Second Skin prison. I checked myself in the mirror to make sure that nothing was showing, which it wasn't, and heaved a slight sigh of relief.

I found myself beginning to think of Sean, and what he could do to ease my strain. That shifted suddenly to him penetrating me, and the pressure got worse. I wanted him like I'd never wanted another human being. Not even Aimee. I began to slightly rub my crotch and realized I could feel it. No, not like I was physically touching myself, but in a more distant, but pleasant, way.

Through a force of will, I ignored my feelings, that time, and stopped rubbing. I didn't want to take any chances of ruining the appliance with no possibility of fixing it.

It really hurt for about half an hour before the pain, and my genitals, subsided.

When I went downstairs there was much flirting going on, and even some heavy petting off in one corner. They kept those sorts of things off screen, but they happened. When you have thirty-six hours to play with and fit into the 42 minutes of an hour long television program, you get to paint any picture that you like.

It's how so many "perfect" couples end up breaking up after the show ends.

"Barb!"

I was Sean. My heart skipped a beat. His smile made me melt. If I could I would have jumped him right there and damn the consequences.

"Heya, Sasha."

"So, you ready for our date?"

I'd almost forgotten. We'd be going out for our dates with our chosen men today. Tomorrow would be more competitions. At this rate, we would be done with all of this in no more than a month. thirty days from today and I would know who the winner was. The desire to win the competition and prove myself as an actor and a woman was so strong.

"What do you have planned?"

"How about a picnic in a hot air balloon?"

Ok, I know what you're thinking. The images they showed on the program made it all look rather romantic. And in the abstract, at that moment, it was.

Then there's reality.

We had to drive for almost an hour to get to the place where the balloon was set up. I was distracted by the fact I was wearing no underwear, and by the closeness of Sean. Uncomfortable only begins to cover it. My pants were riding up my butt. The cotton seemed to slip right off the leather interior of the limo. And Sean kept trying to put his arm around me.

He'd gone to so much trouble I didn't want to shoot him down completely, but then again, I didn't want to lead him on. And I also wanted to lead him on at the same time. The things I imagined doing to him in that limo make me blush.

Ok, so a lot makes me blush, but I am embarrassed at the thoughts I had, so I'm not going to share them.

The thoughts increased pressure against…certain parts of me, and that increased my discomfort. I'm sad to say that I was fidgeting by the time we got done.

When we got there, I saw the movie crane, and I knew exactly what was in store. They'd get shots of us from "outside" the balloon, and edit it to look like it was hundreds of feet in the air.

Then there was the size of the basket, gondola, thing, under the balloon. We could stand comfortably in it, but that's about in. Add in the operator, and you are starting to get the picture.

I dropped the wine bottle three times before they stopped retrieving it for us. I think we got a couple of bites, what from the wind and all. I was frozen, and miserable by the time they finally called it a day.

I know, in the footage they have, I seem to be having a wonderful time. I was acting like it for the cameras, but when we were done, there's a reason there's no footage of the ride back to the masion.

"What kind of an imbecile decides to have a picnic in a hot-air balloon."

"I thought it would be romantic."

"In theory, sure, but there are a lot of things that are romantic on paper, and a stupid idea in the real world. Like kissing underwater. You're spending most of the time worrying about holding your breath, keeping water from going up your nose, keeping yourself underwater in the first place, and so on. The kissing part at that point is incidental."

Aimee and I had tried kissing underwater on three separate occasions. I was half drowned the first time when we decided to give up. Aimee really wanted to get it right, though, so we kept trying. Not worth it.

"Oh, sorry, Barb."

"It's ok, Sasha. Thank you for the thought, but I'm cold, and I'm hungry, and I really didn't enjoy myself."

"I was planning on heading for a burger afterwards, since that really wasn't my type of food."

"I'd love a burger, Sasha."

We ended up going for a burger and fries at MacDonald's. Through the drive through. In a limo. And for all the girls out there who say that is a cop-out of a date, all I have to say is don't knock it 'til you try it. I've done that again with my husband many times since then. You get some awesome stares from the people at the window.

Course, I'm a little more famous than I was at that point so they may just be staring at me.

No, I'm not conceited.

We laughed and talked for what turned out to be hours. While I was digging into my burger, he'd talked to the driver and told him to take the scenic route. That was both the best and worst date I'd ever been on.

"So, would you mind keeping the particulars of our second date to yourself?"

"Why, it was great. I loved it."

Sean got a pained look in his eye, so I just nodded, "ok, I'll keep it to myself."

"Thank you, Barb."

I was on cloud nine when we finally got back to the house. Today had been a rollercoaster of emotion for me, and I was ready to relax by the pool. I lay in the sun while the other couples trickled back in from their various dates. Many of them got into their swimsuits and joined me by the pool.

It was a pleasant afternoon, and I simply enjoyed the company, well most of it, anyway.

Sean was attentive and got me drinks as I lay there. It was…pleasant. That's all I can say about it. I was content.

Other people were less so.

"Carlos, I don't care if it has memories for you of childhood. I didn't like being taken to In-N-Out."

"But Willow…"

"Don't 'but' me. You had an unlimited budget and that's what you offer?"

"I thought that by sharing a bit of myself…"

"Then count me out of learning any more about you."

I know, I thought Carlos was a bit of a jerk this morning, but that was at least partially my fault. I was naked after all. And they are guys. I shouldn't blame them for thinking with their equipment.

Willow on the other hand was taking it way too seriously.

"Come on, Willow, give him a break." I had to chime in.

"It's not like Sean took you to a fast food place. I heard already. Hot air balloon picnic."

"So what if he did, Willow. Dates are about connecting to the other person, and not about so romantic getaway. I would have appreciated it so much better if it had just been a simple picnic in the park."

"Don't give me that, girl, I saw how your eyes lit up when you found out what your date would be," Amanda said.

I felt bad for that now, since it undermined my point. I wished that Sean hadn't made me promise not to tell, because I really wanted to. Our "real" date gave a bad impression about what was important. It made the surface seem to be more important than the substance.

"To tell you guys the truth, after having done the 'super romantic' date I'd much prefer a date at a fast food place."

"Put your money where your mouth is, then, chica."

"In other words, pick you tomorrow?"

"Exactly," he smiled at me.

"You just want to see if I'll let you touch my breasts."

He blushed bright red. I got up and sauntered over to him. "I haven't been to an In-N-Out in years. If I get the opportunity to pick you, then I will." I kissed him on the cheek and walked out.

As you all know Willow complained about being taken to a fast foot join for the rest of the competition. Every time she brought it up, Sean and I just looked at each other and laughed. Especially since she was so jealous of the balloon ride.

Now you know what the infamous "inside joke" was all about.

It wasn't until I was lying in the dark trying to fall asleep that I realized that I'd promised to pick Carlos the next day as long as no one else already had.

The next day I was already up and ready to go when Mark peaked his head into the girl's room. He gestured for me to follow him, and I got up to follow. He raised an eyebrow at my attire, or lack thereof, and led me into the same study from yesterday.

"How are things going, Dawn?"

"Pretty well, Mark."

"So you know, most of the time you are in here, you will be recorded. This room is soundproofed, so you can speak your mind. We use this to do the 'interviews' that are so common in reality TV."

"And then edit them down into soundbites."

He laughed, "Of course."

"So, what do you want me to say?"

"Anything. If you don't really have any opinions, then I can ask you some questions, but it's really up to you to decide what you're going to say."

"You going to be in here every time I do this?"

"If you'd like."

There was a look of admiration in his eye that I didn't really understand. I was just me. Just Dawn Leary. Crossdressing Transgendered Actor.

I began to giggle. I thought of myself doing the song from Rocky Horror. I'd never tried to sing before, so I didn't know if I had any aptitude for it, but it would be funny in my opinion.

"What's so funny, Dawn?"

"Nothing, really. Just thinking about what some of my friends would think of this situation."

"Friends?"

"Karl and Ilene."

"Washed Out Bridge? That Karl?"

"Yes. He did a lot of work with Donnie Leary, and so the two of us became friends."

"Donnie?"

"I thought Joyce told you. Oh, well, he's my brother."

I knew then that Mark knew nothing about who I really was, and a bit of my happiness went away. I still had a secret to keep from everyone here.

"Something wrong?"

"Donnie's been missing since I tried out for the Real Prince Charming. We tried to file a missing persons report, but we were told that he is an adult and that sometimes they just leave. Donnie isn't really like that, but I don't know what else to do. I move on, hoping he isn't gone forever. I miss him, especially at times like this. I know he wishes me the best, though, wherever he is."

"Would you like me to see if there's anything I can do?"

"No, thank you, Mark. I appreciate the gesture, but I don't want to make Donnie's disappearance into something big."

"It would be no trouble."

"I said no, Mark." I was getting agitated. I didn't want him to look into it, and yet, I think I was acting a bit suspiciously.

"Either he'll turn up, or he won't. He was close to my wife, and thought he had a real chance with her. He took her death even harder than I did. I am afraid that he might have committed suicide. I've already mourned him. If he comes back, then I'll rejoice. There's nothing I can do about it in the meantime."

"You are a complex woman, Dawn."

"That is the best compliment anyone's ever paid me, Mark."

I beamed my smile at him and he melted. I went to give him a peck on the cheek, he turned to face me, and we were kissing on the lips. I was shocked and froze, and he wrapped his arms around me. For a moment I melted into him, aware of nothing more than his lips and tongue. The smell of him filled my nostrils, and then I was pushing back from him and pulling away.

I ran out of the room crying. What was wrong with me? I wanted to stay there with Mark, and felt like I was cheating on Sean. I wasn't cheating on anyone. I wasn't promised to Sean. Fifteen of the girls would be leaving the show. The odds were against me winning, but I held out hope for some reason.

But, Mark…

I spent the next hour crying and being comforted by Willow, Sophie and Linda. In editing they made it look like I had fought with Sean, but you know it really wasn’t that now.

I wouldn't tell them what happened, and hoped Mark didn't tell anyone either. I didn't want anyone to know that I was confused. I was supposed to be all put together, and I couldn't decide on one man I wanted more than any other.

I started repeating the name Sean over and over, and so they began to assume that it was Sean who hurt me. I let them believe it, since Mark knew the truth.

"Ladies, you have an hour to get ready for the next challenge. Meet the crew downstairs." This was one of the women who would be leading us from place to place for the rest of the show. I never learned her name, I'm sorry to day.

I wiped away my tears with a hand and tried to put on a smile. It made the others smile and giggle a bit. We all broke up to get ready for the day them.