One Lump . . . Or NONE

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You’re sitting at your group’s favorite table, sipping scrumptious mixtures of coffee, ice, chocolate, and cream. Everyone has spent two to three minutes each sharing stories to “catch up”. It’s your turn.

You’ve got a great story to tell them, but they need to know quite a bit of background information for your story to make sense. As you go through that necessary information you notice your friends are becoming increasingly bored with what you want to tell them.

One of your friends excuses her self to go to the ladies’ room, another leaves to get a refill. The last of your friends has started to work the crossword puzzle in the paper even though your story is only just starting.

Suddenly she sets down her paper and stops you mid-sentence. “Honey, there’s something you need to know.”

Oh dear! You think. It’s my breath!

“It’s your storytelling,” she says clutching both of your hands. “You need to work on it.”

You look at the two damning empty chairs and nod. “I don’t get it; I told that same story at work and everyone loved it.”

“I’m sure they did. But, Sweetheart, at work you didn’t have to tell your listeners who the characters are and why they were doing what they were doing.”

“No, I didn’t,” you agree. “Everyone at work knows the boss and knows that when he’s angry it’s best to stay away from him. They all know. . . .” You go on to explain how at work there wasn’t any need to preface your story with a lot of information . . . you just started right in with the good stuff.”

“That’s what you should have done with us,” your friend says with a grin. “When you’re telling a story you can’t expect your audience to sit through a long information dump. They want action right from the moment you open your mouth. Give them dirt and along the way fill in the details they need to understand your story.”

“Ohhhh,” you say sagely. “You know. . .in college I took a writing course and the professor told us the same thing.

When your two other friends return you start again telling the same story. Your opening line is as provocative as a fine wine. You spice your story with bits of exposition. Instead of stating that your boss has a vile temper you tell them of the time he picked up a chair and threw it into a storage closet to make a point about clutter.

Everyone giggles . . . all the way through.

Comments

Of course ...

... the same thing happened to me last Thursday ... no, wait a minute it must have been Wednesday. No, wait a minute, it was Monday, because that's the day the refuse collectors came and they wouldn't take Mrs Jones' next door because she'd put her recycling in the wrong coloured bin and you know what job's worths they are. Now what was I saying? Oh, you have to go?

Sorry, Angela, I had a longer than expected cafe stop yesterday on my bike ride and it was deja view all over again :) Though he had led a much more interesting life than I had ... and it seemed to be a much longer one, too

Robi

Grinning

Laughed until the tears ran. Such . . . an . . . interesting . . . (yawwwwwn).

Angela Rasch (Jill M I)

Angela Rasch (Jill M I)

Danged, but...

Danged, but I wish I found it that easy to internalize and take advantage of advice that quickly!

Nice, subtle hint, well worth the read. Thank you.

Anne

Did I tell you about...

In my circle of friends we refer to the fill ins as TMI (too much information) O like how you made your point in just a few paragraphs. Glad you didn't Andy Rooneyize it.
I prefer speakers who come to the point quickly, When I am being humorous I can do it in two to three words.

I'm still not writing attention span is short for the moment. I've been having hand tremors in my left hand quitr frequently. Scheduled for surgery on my left leg in September to remove another vascular block.

when I have an idea for a story I write it down.

You stuff cheers me up, Thank You

Jill Micayla
Be kinder than necessary,Because everyone you meet
Is fighting some kind of battle.

Jill Micayla
Be kinder than necessary,Because everyone you meet
Is fighting some kind of battle.

Oh yeah..

kristina l s's picture

...that reminds me..no..wait you don't know her do you... so... ummm. Well it was like this.. but first you need to know.. umm, now how do I put this.... See, it was a dark and stormy night and.....

And to think someone once called a comment I made...scattered.. go figuh. It is to laugh. Or something.

Kris

thank you

I might be guilty of this, yes I belive that is true, thanks. One question people, should I remove the prolog from Arctic Survival, at least here?