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TopShelf was shutdown for an hour or so this afternoon, so I could cool off. Some people are of the opinion that they should be allowed to set policy here. Doesn't work that way.
Lately, this has been happening almost daily during a time of great stress for me. My mom is not eating and is losing weight faster and faster, down to 106 lbs. (48 kg) from 126 lbs. (57 kg) six months ago.
I haven't eaten yet today because I'm sick and now this. I can't walk away without someone trying to run the site to their specification instead of mine. Why would anyone think I needed that?
I shut the site down to prevent malicious posting while I was away from the keyboard and someone was directly challenging my authority to run this site by my rules.
My main rule is simple, treat others with courtesy. It's a kindergarten rule. I think I'm going to be forced to use a kindergarten solution -- time-outs.
Posters who in my judgement have violated my main rule will be subject to having their ability to log in suspended. Probably just a warning the first time, then a suspension for hours or days on a second offense. Third or later violations will draw a longer suspension, possibly permanent. All suspensions may be appealed, I'm not infallible.
I had a post at the top of the main page expressing this policy, it doesn't seem to have helped. That makes me very sad and saddest that the people who are causing problems right now are ones that have made contributions here, stories or otherwise, and they deserve courtesy and respect, too. Don't rant about them in replies to this, I'm not willing to listen to that right now.
Courtesy isn't that hard, is it?
Hugs,
Erin
Comments
Quite rightly so, Erin
While I might draw the line a bit differently than you have as to where constructive criticism stops and hurtful criticism begins, it is your site.
EVERYONE ELSE needs to realize you have drawn the line in the sand, and if they want to step over it, you can ban them if you wish, and you should, at least temporarily.
Free speech is one thing, but when you are in someone else's place, home, or website, the owner/renter, or whoever is control does not have to let you break their rules on what you can or cannot say.
That has been made clear by the Supreme Court, just as yelling "FIRE" in a crowded building when there is no fire has been.
You have made it quite clear to me where the line is.
Holly
One of the most difficult things to give away is kindness.
It usually comes back to you.
Holly
TopShelf/Constitutional Law
It's actually much more simple than that: the Constitution (including the First Amendment) doesn't apply to this site.
Notwithstanding my little tantrum a few weeks ago (I'm glad I can laugh about it, and I hope that Erin and Kristina can too), I think that it's wonderful that comments are erased when they aren't appropriate. Just my humble opinion.
Jodie
xoxo
P.S. I frequently don't like the way my e-mail/e-notes/posts sound when I re-read them. This post is not meant to offend at all (and I'm sure Holly knows I think fondly of her)--it's just the lawyer in me.
Can't imagine!
As my mother says: "Some people's children!"
Please take care of your personal life, first things first. Hope you got a good meal while you were away, you said you were going to. Wish I could send you some good Texas barbecue, or even some homemade chicken soup.
Karen J.
"Never ascribe to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity." Anonymous
"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin
I agree.
Erin,
This is your house and you set the rules and we should
abide by them.
Courtsy at the very least.
Temporary suspensions at first and the harsher permanent
suspensions if needed are not uncalled for.
Nicole
Nicole
I agree too
I agree Nicole,
Anyone at all, who types anything at all, untoward, about any story here, or even presumes an opinion of any sort..well, unless it is couched in the height of courtesy, well ... it should not be tolerated. My vote is; "Courtesy Uber alles"...
Yep Erin, I am bustin on ya.. but it's cause I love ya and you definitely need a laugh? :)
Gwennie
Gwen Lavyril
Gwen Lavyril
Too far is still too far
Posts were deliberately made (not by you) with the avowed intent to make me remove them and with the apparent intent to keep doing so until I removed the story.
That won't work.
I'm stubborn. I'm not stubborn like a bull or a pig, I'm stubborn like a cat. This is the difference between a landslide and a pyroclastic flow. :)
Hugs,
Erin
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
pyroclastic flow??
Wow,
I am hot already! You go girl! :) See, I can make you smile.
Gwen
Gwen Lavyril
Gwen Lavyril
Great quote!
Your last 2 sentences are being nabbed as an outquote! The friend I'm spending the week with loved it and so I saved it
Edeyn
guests
Just like in someone else home you are expected to behave yourself and abide by the host's rules of conduct. If you decide to violate those rules you can be asked to leave. What is so hard about this? Erin your Big Closet is a place I can go and just be myself. I know others value this site as well.
I hope you had a wonderful meal and that you feel better.
Hugs Erin!
grover
A bouncer ...
Or a cyber breathalizer ? Get rid of the
folks anyway you please. This is a great place
and most folks here honor and cherish your
space.
Some folks just have no sense of propriety on
line. There is always one in any crowd. Unfortunately
being trans kindles strong emotions and
instability in some.
Kim
Sometimes a 2X4 is needed or a hunk of pipe
You have my attention, Erin.
I saw the aftermath of your troubles, your temporary shutdown sign.
From your description of what happened some prankster tried to trick you into dumping stories they didn't like, among other problems if I read between the lines right. You run a 24/7 -- I hate that phrase but it fits here -- *place of business* and that is too much even with the best of software and some great helpers.
If you need to take a break for a few hours or even a day and we are not behaving, put us on ice for a day. Your health is suffering it sounds to me, and that is not good. Plus a mom is special, I miss mine. Don't waste the time you have left with your's.
Best of luck.
John in Wauwatosa
John in Wauwatosa
I agree as well
Erin you work hard to keep this the wonderful site the way it is for all of us. Whether we are authors or just casual readers. And with courtesy is the way we should all treat each other. It should be that way without even having to be mentioned. And those who can't be courteous in their comments and treatment of others should be punished. Time outs and or total banishment should be a more than acceptable punishment.
I hope you had time for a good meal and a little relaxation during the downtime. I as several others here have said want to say as much as we love this site. Please be sure and take time to take care of yourself and Mom. I know we've only met through this site and emails or comments. But you are important to us and we send you much love and our prayers in your time of need.
((((((hugs))))))
Always
Patti
Shutdown
Erin,
As always I support your decisions as to how your site is run. If they do not like the rules let them create, maintain, and pay for their own site.
As far as your health and Mom's go, my prayers are with you and I wish you both a speedy recovery. Get some rest love, worry will only make you sicker.
Nothing in Life is Free, if the cost is not monitary it will be physical, emotional, or spiritual.
Rachel Anne
Nothing in Life is Free; if the cost is not monetary it will be physical, emotional, or spiritual.
Rachel Anne
This Is a Repete Of Seven Years Ago
Almost seven years ago Mindy had similar problems with Fictionmania. She eventually had to shut it down. Only after the Task Force, which included Mindy, did it reappear on the net.
You might wish to take part of that soultion as a means of giving you rest, have some others help you monitor Big Closet.
shalimar
shalimar
I've suggested this to Erin before, the last time just the other day.
Setting propriety requires a deft hand. Since many of us are borderline daft I wonder where such guidance would come from within our group.
I'm not enamored by the hall monitor on FM and the person who did this for Storysite for some time wielded her power like a battle axe.
Still -- Erin has before talked of a three strike rule. She has the ability and sensitivity to govern without the nonsense we hear about under other "three-strike" and "zero tolerance" policies.
Erin isn't always right. She is not a goddess. She doesn't have to be and shouldn't be held to that standard.
Personally, refereeing squabbles between adults sound like the hell I would love to see every attorney and judge sentenced to -- uhmmmm -- it seems they're already there.
Sorry barrister.
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
Shame on them
I think it's sad that people don't respect rules and courtesies when in someone else's house.
The idea of a lump of pipe or a stout cudgel is probably tempting though would solve nothing.
Now I'm not presuming to tell you how to run this site at all and were it not here, we would all be worse off. So I for one would prefer to abide by your rules rather than lose the opportunities you and your mum provide, it's not so difficult after all. Those who don't perhaps should be given the Pink Floyd "short, sharp shock, so they won't do it again, dig it?"
I don't envy your position Erin and I confess to not having your tolerance or patience. I don't know as I would be quite so forgiving. Just because people write a story or two, doesn't mean that they suddenly get the right to dictate to you.
You do whatever you feel comfortable with and shame on those who would presume to tell you how to do your job.
Be well Erin. My love to you and your mum for speedy recoveries.
Nick B
I don't know what to say
I was a bit disappointed when I tried to read some stories at first. But when I carefully red the notice you'd put on, I couldn't do only than totally agree with you. My disappointment shifted to the people, that are supposed to be an adult, but somehow still act like a child. There's nothing wrong with letting your innderchild go wild, but please, do that in a themepark, a playground or in your own place. Not here.
Good luck with your mom, they are precious, so spent time with her, as much as you can. And think about your own health too, that's important as well. Feel free to shut-down if your health needs it. But it might also be an idea to pick out some people that you trust, and ask them to help maintain this site. So you can save yourself from the stress and trouble. I'm sure there are enough people that want to help.
Love,
Marie-Claire
Minding P's and Q's
As an author I come to realize I am not the diva of writing. that came quickly ( like my first story).
I have been given an honor to post what I write for others to read, ergo I should be humble to the person or entity that provides such space.
I do not have the right to tell anyone their story does not belong on this site. they can tell me the same thing about mine.
Erin, take some time out for your own health and for your mom, she is the only mom you are ever going to have. If you want to shut down for a couple of days for your own peace of mind, none of us should object.
As much s you do for others you need to do for you. I am speaking from experience. Some people do not know how to give another a break. I used to do things for friends whenever asked. Then one day i almost got blinded by chemicals one had used and not told me. it was then I gathered all of my friends together and told them they needed to find a good phone book so they could call the appropriate fix it person for the appropriate problem. I have actually calmed down and begun to enjoy life.
Girl you are the most important person you will ever know.
Jill Micayla
May you have a wonderful today and a better tomorrow
Jill Micayla
Be kinder than necessary,Because everyone you meet
Is fighting some kind of battle.
Right on.
I don't blame you a bit. I dropped out of one mailing-list community entirely because one or two list-members took to flaming as an artform, and their flames were tolerated or approved by the listmods. Even though I never got flamed there myself, I didn't feel comfortable posting there anymore. The list subsequently dried up and shut down, its community resonance destroyed. I'd hate to see that happen here.
Suggestion
I do have a suggestion. On some fanfiction sites, I've seen a link at the bottom of each comment/review posted: "Report As Offensive". If you or Bob can add that into the Drupal code (maybe another Drupal user has already coded it and contributed it?), then what you and/or the moderators you appoint/empower have to do is reduced to mainly responding to flaggings of comments, rather than actively patrolling all comment streams. As you can see by the comments accompanying this one, most of us are with you on this issue, so that flagging link is likely to get used as required, making it a community effort to keep it clean and friendly.
Something to consider.
I think
If I'm not mistaken, Erin had the same feature a while back, but had to disable it because it was buggy.
Scott
Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of--but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards.
Lazarus Long - Robert A. Heinlein's 'Time Enough for Love'
Bree
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
-- Tom Clancy
http://genomorph.tglibrary.com/ (Currently broken)
http://bree-ramsey314.livejournal.com/
Twitter: @genomorph
Yup
I'm waiting for a new version of the "abuse" module to add it back in. :)
- Erin
= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.
I agree with all that's been
I agree with all that's been said, you provide a service for all of us either readers or writers, it takes you a lot of time and effort. The vast majority of us greatly appreciate those efforts and value your site, we would also be horrified to see something untoward happen to it.
However, your life must come first and in having a sick and important person to care for, also has to take priority over other things including this site.
I wish you well in your efforts and hope your mother improves. It's your life, you set your priorities and let others cope with them.
best wishes and thanks for all the work you do,
Angharad.
Angharad
Do what you need to do.
Take care of yourself dear. As far as I am concerned, shut the site down when you need to and leave it down until you want it up.
I love this site. It helps me keep my feet on the ground.
I also know what it is to experience great loss, and to feel little or no compassion from others for your plight.
Be good to yourself.
Gwenellen