"Stop leering at the girl's backside, Manny!"

I looked back and the guy was actually blushing and looking anywhere but at me. I smiled at that. Maybe things weren't quite as dire as I assumed they were.

"So, AJ–how did you enjoy your time with Emanuel Jacobs?"

"Well, as soon as I got him to toe the line, everything seemed to fall more into place. He's not a bad fighter, but he does seem to have a problem where women are concerned."

When I referred to myself as a woman, I felt a slight twinge. My parents taught me never to lie. Sure, sometimes it was unavoidable, but this?

I needed to get this resolved, and soon or I was going to become a habitual lawyer…I mean liar.

"Is there something wrong, Anne-Jeanette?"

"Sorry, lost in thought a bit. So, are all your male customers a little misogynistic?"

"No, they're not. William just got over a bad breakup. I figured he would hassle you a bit, but when you showed him you were a trainer like anyone else here he quieted down. He really is a good guy, as you saw at the end, I'm sure."

"Yeah, but this guy?"

"I needed to see if you would get angry."

"This guy doesn't have what it takes to get me angry."

"So it would seem. You didn't even flinch when he started caressing your butt."

"He what? I was so focused on getting him on his own butt that I never even…"

"Whoa, AJ, relax. You took care of it already."

"Can I go hit the showers? I need to clean myself off."

"In a minute–can't let Manny think I pulled you up short for your treatment of him."

I smirked at this, "No, we couldn't do that, could we?"

I walked back over to him. "So, your name is Manny, huh?"

"That's right. More man than you could handle?"

"Manny, unless you want people calling you Girlie for the rest of your life, can it!" I glanced at his crotch as I said this.

He paled and the smile left his face.

"It is not our job to be ridiculed and harassed by you. It is our job to try to train you in fighting. While you may have this mistaken impression that fighting includes this ready banter between opponents, I can assure you that isn't the case.

"A real fight is short, and ends as soon as I kick you in the groin."

"You're not that good."

"Felipe, get him some padding so I don't really hurt him."

Manny paled a bit, but kept his grin on. He probably thought the padding would prevent him from feeling anything. Well, it's not my fault he's stupid. He wasn't even wearing a cup.

"Are you sure, Anne-Jeanette?"

"I assume that when he started with you, Felipe, he signed a waiver stating he would not pursue any legal action against the gym should he become hurt due to his own stupidity?"

"It was a little more legalese than that, but basically yes."

"Well, he's in the gym right now, his stupidity is telling him he could stop me. He wants me to prove my point."

"Okay, I'll be right back."

Felipe left the room in search of the protective gear. Manny looked anywhere but at me. He was pale and sweating, and I could almost fell the fear radiating from him.

"Look, Manny, let me clue you in to something. Ego has no place in fighting. It's gotten you this far because you've never actually been in a fight. You thought that a little training would get you the respect you never get in the rest of your life.

"That's all well and good, but it isn't a good reason to fight. You have practiced a lot, but you just don't get it. Fighting is more than throwing your fists. It is understanding that you can rely on yourself to get things done. You can trust yourself to act in a manner that fits the situation.

"I've made my share of mistakes in this regard, trust me, but that doesn't mean that I ever failed to act. If you use fighting to solve your problems with one person by taking it out on another then you simply don't get it."

"But I can't tell my boss…"

"You work for a woman I take it?"

"Yes, and she is such a bi…I mean she is a real stickler for behavior and grooming."

"Then fix your appearance and stop slouching."

"It's not that easy."

"How much time have you spent practicing Savate?"

"I spend some time every day working out."

"Then stop practicing every day. Take some of that time to make yourself presentable. Spend some of that time to improve your behavior."

"But I shouldn't have to change my behavior. I've been in that job for twenty years. I was there ten years before she showed up, and I'll still be there after she's gone."

"Listen to yourself, Manny. She's now been there for as long as you were there before she arrived. She's not going to change. I'm amazed that she hasn't fired you yet."

He opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, and then smiled.

"You're a strange one, aren't you, Teacher?"

"I am. Well, we can finish up this week without the demonstration. Come back next week and I'm sure Felipe will start your normal session."

"But didn't you tell me…?"

"I told you that you should spend time every day on your job. We all need an outlet once in a while away from our normal lives. Spend time for work on work. Improve yourself there. Then, you can come here and work out the few remaining frustrations you have."

"Thank you, Teacher."

"Now, I want to go hit the showers. See you later, Manny."

Felipe had apparently figured out what I was doing, as he didn't have any protective gear with him. I stuck my tongue out at him as I walked toward the showers.

.-.. .. -. . -... .-. . .- -.-
I was just walking in the door when my dad turned me around and started the three of us walking toward the car.

"Dr. Sparks wants us to come in. There's something with your blood work that he wants to discuss with us."

"Is it something bad?"

"I don't know. He wanted to talk to us in his office."

We got in the car and drove to the hospital. The scenery passed without much attention from me, thereby disproving that I'm the center of the universe.

We parked and rode the elevator back up to the eighth floor.

As soon as we arrived, a nurse led us back to Dr. Sparks' office, and I sat down. My parents continued to stand.

"Glad to see you here again, AJ. Let me tell you that it's nothing life threatening. I wanted you in here because you have to make a decision sooner rather than later."

"Why? I feel fine."

"Yes, and for another week to ten days you will feel fine. You have a fair amount of Follicle Stimulating Hormone in your system. What that means is your body is preparing for ovulation."

"But, that's a good thing, right?"

"Well, provided that you want to get pregnant, yes it's a good thing. It is the first step in your cycle. However, it means that we have less time that we'd like before we have to get you in for surgery."

"Oh."

"Yes, 'oh'."

"But I have responsibilities, I have people depending on me to–"

"Anne-Jeanette, you must consider your own health before you consider your responsibilities to others," mom said. I know she meant well, but it's not what I wanted to hear.

"I heard from Owen that you are leaning more toward becoming more female, is that accurate?"

I just nodded.

"Okay, then I'd like to schedule your vaginoplasty for Tuesday."

I was numb. So much was suddenly changing in my life. I had offered my services to Felipe, but here I was losing my ability to even do that. Was that what being a woman would mean to me–lost opportunities and reduced options?

"Mom, dad, I want to stop by Theresa's room on my way out, okay?"

"Okay, Anne-Jeanette. We can do that with you."

"No, I want to do it on my own, if that's okay."

Dad nodded at me.

I rode the elevator down and then made my way to Theresa's room. She was moving around the room and packing when I got there.

"Are you going home already?"

"I think I've spent more than enough time here, don't you? Hi, AJ. More tests?"

"No. They just finally got the results back from some tests. Apparently I'm going to have my first period soon, and they want to get everything resolved down there before it happens."

"Well, you seem very calm about all of this."

"Calm? I'm freaking out."

"If this is freaking out…"

I giggled at that. "I have a tendency to suppress my emotions–the bad ones anyway."

"Well, that's good to know. Before all of this happened, you didn't need to consider that you'd be having a period."

"I know, and I'm not sure how I feel about it."

"To tell you the truth, I don't know how I feel about it and I've gone through it a number of times before."

I laughed and Theresa joined in with me.

"So, you're leaving?"

"Not until tomorrow morning, but I'm so tired of this place that I thought I'd get my stuff together tonight so I could leave as soon as possible."

"You know, I don't have your address, or phone number? How can I talk to you if I don't have either of those?"

Theresa snorted at me. "You are something else, AJ. You put me in the hospital, and now you don't want me to leave it."

I blushed and looked away from her.

"AJ, I was joking with you. Lighten up, girl. I didn't mean anything by it."

Something about her was different, and I suddenly observed, "Your casts are gone!"

"Oh, yeah. Apparently they were only cracked a little, and they wanted to immobilize them while I was in a coma to ensure I didn't do anything to them when I woke up."

"Really?"

"Yes. As long as I don't do anything stupid, they should be fine."

I smiled at her, and then she changed the subject.

"So, you didn't come down here to just skirt the subject. What is bothering you?"

"I agreed to teach some self-defense classes while the primary instructor is on her honeymoon. The problem is…"

"The problem is that if you go through surgery, then you won't be able to teach the class for a while."

"Yes, exactly."

"Okay, so you're not going to be able to be as active in the class as you'd like, but that doesn't mean you can't lead the class."

I blinked and then a smile erupted on my face. I could do that. It was such a simple answer, and one my parents would have been more than able to give me.

"I love you, Theresa. You are such a good and intelligent person."

"I wouldn't go that far, AJ. Besides, I thought you were in love with my brother."

"I have a crush on your brother, Theresa. Whether or not I can love him will depend on what type of person he is. I don't know him well enough for that."

She giggled with me, and drew me into a brief hug.

"So, I take it you've decided to go female?"

She was looking at my clothing and hair. Mom had gone with two braids for today. Each one started just behind my ears on either side of my head. Then she pinned the tails together to make a couple of long loops on my back. It was a decidedly girly hairstyle.

The clothing was a denim skirt and a buttoned pale-green blouse.

"You like it?" I said twirling around.

"Well, less chance of putting out an eye than with your long braid."

I smiled at her.

"Well, how 'bout you come show off your new look to my family tomorrow evening?"

"But, I couldn't impose. You're just getting home, and I was the one who hurt you, and–"

"AJ, relax. My family doesn't hold it against you. I told them why you did it, and that you didn’t mean to hurt me."

"But I–"

"AJ! You are a good person. Accept that and come over to my house tomorrow afternoon, okay?"

I sighed, but my smile started to return, and I nodded my acceptance.

"Good. So, you ready to join us as a fully physically female?"

"I think so. It will make it easier to wear feminine clothing, that's for sure."

"I don't even want to know," she said in mock disgust.

"Well, I have to twist it back around and tuck it up between my legs, and then wear a pair of panties one size too small…"

"Why would you have to wear a pair of panties one size too small?" Shawn asked as he entered the room.

I blushed from the crown of my head to the tips of my toes.

"She has a birth defect that will be resolved with surgery soon."

"Tuesday," I said.

"It will be resolved Tuesday. It makes it so that she bulges a bit down below."

"What sort of a birth defect would cause that?"

Theresa and I laughed. He had no idea at all, and it was so funny. We would begin to calm down and then one or the other of us would tip her head toward Shawn and we would break out again.

He was just looking a little confused, and somewhat frustrated. This just caused us to laugh harder.

"She has a malformed clitoris, if you have to know," Theresa said finally.

"Why didn't they fix it when she was a baby?"

"Well, because it only really became apparent recently," I said.

"And that's the reason I keep seeing you in the hospital? Okay, good to know."

Was it really that easy? He thought of me as a girl, so the more obvious reason, at least to me, never occurred to him?

And another lie–or was it really a lie? I admit that in trying to determine if I am really gay–or is that straight since I'm a female?–I've looked at naked women on the Internet. While not exactly in the same place, my penis is analogous to a clitoris. It could be called just a really enlarged…

Anyway, not that I needed to fixate on that for the moment.

"I invited Anne-Jeanette here over to our house tomorrow."

"Really? That's so great!"

Shawn did a bit of a victory dance, and you'd think he just scored a goal or something.

"Wow, I didn't think you cared."

"Oh really? I've been flirting with you as much as I could."

"True, but flirting doesn't mean much. Just means you are a tease."

"Would a tease do this?"

He took me in his arms and kissed me. I have to admit that I'd fantasized about this exact thing, and with him, on more than one occasion. At first I melted into him, and then the panic started. I needed to get away before he hurt me. I tensed up, doing my best not to react and not to punch out. I began to cry with the pain of it all.

I stood there like a statue after he released me. Silent tears began to fall down my cheeks. It wasn't fair. My first real kiss and all I wanted to do was tear him apart. All I could think about were all of the other men who had forced themselves on me.

He reached his arm out toward me, but Theresa stopped him.

"Shawn, go…now!"

"But, Terry–"

"She's been raped in the past, Shawn. Go. She's trying to prevent herself from killing you right now."

Shawn looked at me clearly for the first time since he'd kissed me and saw the anger in my body posture.

"I'm sorry," he said as he left. Theresa shut the door behind him.

I broke down and cried. "I wanted him to kiss me. Why can't I enjoy it? I want him, Theresa. I do. I want to spend time with him, and I want him to be able to hold me."

Theresa put her arms around me and held me. After a moment I relaxed into her and the tears really began to fall.

"Anne-Jeanette, it's not that he can't hold you, but that he tried to take it from you. It was only a kiss, but he didn't let you choose."

"But I wanted him to kiss me."

"But he didn't ask you if you would. He sprang it on you."

"I am just a freak, aren't I?"

"No, you're just broken like all the rest of us are. Shh. It's okay. Shh."

I just cried on her and let out all of my emotion. I didn't even hear the door opening and closing, but I did feel Shawn's arms come around me from the back. Theresa let me go then, and I turned into Shawn and began to cry into his chest.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry…" over and over I kept repeating it. It was my life preserver on a sea of guilt and pain. I couldn't stop any of them from hurting me, and yet all I could do was try to hurt the one person in the world I actually wanted to be a permanent part of my life.

"It's okay, Anne-Jeanette."

"I would have hurt you, Shawn."

"No, you wouldn't have. I've talked to my sister a bit about you. I would have dropped to the ground and I wouldn't have tried to fight back. I would have eliminated myself as a threat."

"You shouldn't have to be afraid of a girlfriend."

"Well, I'm not afraid of you. I don't fear working on heavy equipment either–doesn't mean I put my hands into moving parts."

"I would have hurt you!"

He didn't answer me, he just put his finger under my chin and gently raised it until I could look him in the eyes. He began to lean forward to kiss me, but then stopped short.

I could feel my heart beating faster, and I could see the desire in his eyes. I licked my lips, waiting for him to continue, but he just waited there. I finally realized he was waiting for me.

I smiled and kissed him.

This kiss was everything that I'd ever wanted.