Raison D'etre 

 by  Paula Dillon

Barbra sat in the coffee shop talking with Lisa. She sipped her fragrant elixir as Lisa spoke.

“There are certain principles to magic that can never be overlooked at any cost, Barbra. The first is balance. Say you cast a spell to bring you a hundred trillion dollars. If the spell worked yeah; you have a hundred trillion dollars but what would a cup of your coffee now cost you; a million dollars? It is possible that after the spell you are actually no richer than before. Where if the spell was that you would be well off might actually make you well off. On the other hand, say you cast a spell to be the most beautiful women in the world. You might become the most beautiful women but not have two gray cells left in your head to rub together you could wind up the classic blonde bimbo.”

All magic has its own consequences, which brings me to the second principle. The second principle is the principle of unintended consequences. Say you lived South East Texas where it rains maybe 30-40 inches of rain a year and your spell was that your 10-acre farm would be as lush as the Amazon would. There might be very little unintended consequences because that area is already somewhat lush and the area of the spell is small. If it was an area the size and type as the Death Valley, though the spell might work but the Amazon might end up looking like Death Valley as an unintended consequence. So you have to be very careful when casting big magics,” Lisa said“, or things can really bite you in the ass. Magic seeks a balance and can have unintended consequences.”

“So any spell can really throw a wrench into things, so why bother with it in the first place, and isn’t magic evil?” Barbra asked.

“Magic is not good or evil but the way magic is used can be good or evil, and there are things that can be done by magic that there are no other ways of doing. Knowing all the principles and all the things that can go wrong I still would not go back to the way I was before I learned the ways magic. Barbra, why don’t you come over to my place? And then we can talk some more about it?”

“Sure Lisa I am intrigued by what you are saying.”

The two women got up and paid their tab. Barbra didn’t know whether to believe Lisa or not, but she found her stories interesting at least. It was a short drive to Lisa’s home and Barbra pulled in behind her as she turned into her driveway of a nice house. The two women exited their cars and made their way inside. Lisa was not a bad looking woman in fact she was very good looking but she was greeted by another woman every much as beautiful as herself with a big, huge bone crushing hug and a very passionate kiss on the lips. The two seemed to glow in each other’s embrace.

“Barbra this person is my soul mate and lover Jennifer, Jennifer this is Barbra a friend I have made. I am trying to convince her to learn magic from us; she has a strong spark inside her.” Lisa exclaimed.

Jennifer had a big gorgeous smile on her face as she appraised Barbra. “Yes I see I hope you can convince her. I will make us dinner while you two talk. You will stay for dinner won’t you please?” Jennifer begged.

It would have been hard for Barbra not to stay. While at first she didn’t know quite how she felt about Lisa’s and Jennifer’s relationship, she now felt quite at ease with Jennifer’s charming personality. “Sure I would be delighted to stay for dinner.”

Jennifer half lunged at Barbra catching her quite by surprise. Barbra startled at first thinking that she might be attacking her, but all Jennifer was doing was giving her a big hug, and she melted into her arms and returned the hug. Barbra had to admit that Jennifer’s hugs were really good. Jennifer then minced her way into the kitchen and started their dinner.

“I forgot to warn you that Jennifer is a very touchy feely girl. I hope she didn’t startle you too much?”

“No it is ok; in fact I rather liked her hug. She is very nice and sweet. I can see why you like her.”

Lisa took Barbra by the hand and led her into the well-kept house. She would not have thought Lisa was so well off. The house was very tastefully done up.

“Lisa Your home is so beautiful, I love your furniture, and all your things are so nice.”

“I can thank Jennifer for it she furnished and did the interior design herself. She is very adept at it.”

As they sat on the luxurious couch, Jennifer brought in drinks, and served them and then headed back to the kitchen.

“How did you get into magic Lisa?”

“I had an encounter such as you had with me Barbra. A woman I didn’t know approached me and started to explain it like I am with you. I was not as nice a person though as you are and as I am now but she saw the potential in me and wanted to teach me. Her name was Alexandra, and she was very strong. I agreed to study with her and I learned very fast.

She thought she could change me to being a good person by showing me the good that magic could do for others, and for the most part, I used it for good. I still had a bad streak in me though, and I used magic inappropriately. Let me tell you that story and it will show you how some of the principles of magic worked too.”

“I am game for a good story,” Barbra said, only half believing what Lisa was saying.

“After I had been studying with Alexandra for about ten years I had become very good. The streak of bad inside me was buried deeply and had not raised its ugly head in a long time. Alexandra was a very loving teacher, but she still worried about me, and for good reason. I finally left her and went out on my own, to find my own niche in this world.

It was several years after I left that this bad streak started to rear its head in my life. I found that I liked to seduce and feminize guys, especially guys that were not overly masculine. I had been worried about the principles of magic as I designed my magic’s and thought I had worked out a way around them.

So I would cruise the bars at night and look for my next victim. I would look for a guy who was some what effeminate but strictly a guy at heart. I mean it was no challenge for me to take a guy who wanted to be a girl and make him one. I used all my feminine wills on them and would even have sex with them over a period. When I thought I had them, I would cast my spell. There next was the key to my spell. While I would design and cast my spell, it was only by their own words that the spell would do its work. Their own consent would be what triggered the spell. I would have them all worked up with sex and being given a royal treatment by a girl such as I, who would normally be out of the reach of one such as they were. I mean how many small effeminate males could ever hope to capture the heart of one as pretty as me.

I know it was cruel and please don’t judge me yet Barbra; it was just the way I was back then. I even admit that I was one mean bitch back then.

Anyway, getting back to the story, the key to my magic was I would trap them by their own words. I would get them worked up like I said and then cast my spell and then I would ask them if they ever wondered what it was like being a girl, I would sing the praises of being a girl, how great their orgasms would be and all the soft silky clothes they could wear. I would rub my soft silky stockings on their faces, some I even got dressed in my clothes, and I had them half out of their minds when I asked them if they would like to see what it was like for girls. If they ever said yes, my spell would go off. They would become girls and would wake up in some back alley dressed as a cheap two-bit hooker, not knowing who they were, how they got that way or even remembering who I was.

I wasn’t entirely heartless to them. The spell had enough power to prevent them from being raped, suicide, or killed because of being transformed, but they were lost and unemployed. The spell protected them also from STD’s, but not from pregnancy. Several of them went on to bear children. Many of the guys I transformed went on to become hookers. They just had no choice to survive.

I thought it was such great fun. I kept up with them and would visit them from time to time. They still never recognized me as being the author of their plight. The ones that bore children I did improve their situation, because I felt somewhat guiltily toward the children not necessarily the guys. Those ones gained a somewhat more comfortable life.”

Barbra’s jaw was almost hanging to her chest and had an incredulous look to her face. It was easy to see that if this story was to be believed that her sensibilities had been shocked, and that she was showing moral outrage to my actions. This was good.

“That is incredible, how could you be so cruel to those guys?” Barbra asked, “I can honestly agree. You were a bitch.” She half screamed at Lisa.

“Yes she was Barbra but let her finish her story before you judge her now.” Jennifer said just behind Barbra startling her enough to cause her to spill her drink. Like magic, Jennifer cleaned up the spill. “I am sorry Barbra I like to come in at this point of the story and support Lisa. She is not that way anymore. Also dinner is served.”

Jennifer took Barbra’s hand in hers to help her up. Barbra felt a lot of comfort in this, stood, and allowed herself to be led to the dinning room. It appeared to be a wonderful banquet laid out for their repast. Jennifer assisted Barbra and Lisa in sitting and she sat opposite Barbra to join them. The food was marvelous and the wine was delightful. The conversations at the table were the usual feminine banter you would hear at any fine restaurant. Barbra and Lisa raved over the desserts that Jennifer had prepared for them.

“Was it magic that made this dinner so good?” Barbra half kidded.

“No, Barbra, I wouldn’t use magic to do something as trivial as dinner. I just love cooking anyway,” Jennifer said.

Jennifer set about clearing the table as Lisa and Barbra headed back to the living room. In a few minutes, Jennifer brought after dinner drinks for each of them and sat next to Lisa as she began to tell more of her story. Jennifer slipped closer and closer to the object of her affection as the story went on.

“Anyway getting back to my story I had done this twenty six times over the next ten years. Some of the guys I made outlandishly feminine and some just fair to good looking. I never failed in my efforts to feminize them till the last man I met.”

“How old are you if you don’t mind me asking? You don’t look a day over twenty five and you look too beautiful to be over thirty five, and yet you have accounted for over twenty years.” Barbra inquired.

“No I don’t mind you asking. I am fifty-two although I look half my age, but I will get to that in a little while.

Anyway, the last man I feminized changed everything and I had to face the second principle of magic face to face, that of unintended consequences. I found him in a singles bar and had seen him shot down by quite a few ladies, he was good looking enough don’t get me wrong but he just didn’t cut a very dashing figure. I watched him very closely for several weeks and never saw him succeed with any woman. So I started my plans, this would be my greatest transformation of them all. I would keep this one for myself I thought.

So I set about to create a servant, a slave for myself. I set my mark on him then but I was not ready to spring my trap yet. I designed my spell carefully it was more difficult and more complex than all the other spells I had used and took several weeks to complete the writing of it. When I had it, just like I wanted it I cast my net, and drew him up into it. I was going to really humiliate this one leaving him with all his memories of what he was and will be. He was to be my hand maid, my house keeper, a toy for my friends, all the while knowing what he used to be and unable to express his thoughts other than in humiliating servitude.

I had him eating out of the palm of my hand, twisted around my fingers as those clichés go. It was also some of the best sex I have ever had at the same time. It went on for one week, two weeks, and then a whole month before I was ready to cast my spell. I cast it after a ten-hour session of lovemaking as he was still in the afterglow of our latest orgasm. I then popped the question to him. I expected the same yes that I had always received in the past but I was caught in an unexpected consequence. Instead of a yes his reply was. ‘If you will always love me and treat me this well, and we can be always beautiful and as intelligent and skillful as you are now and will ever be, and you will be with me by my side for all times then yes.’ I was trapped in his words I felt the spell go off as could he, or should I say she. She had constructed her words carefully and they had woven themselves within my spell. I could no more humiliate the one I loved, or bring shame to her. She was skillful in magic herself, as skillful as I am and her name became Jennifer.”

This was too much for Barbra who up and fainted at the name Jennifer. She was out for several minutes and woke being tended by Jennifer and Lisa. She sat silently for several minutes digesting what she had been told, before speaking.

“You mean to say that you were once a guy, now you’re a lady and all this really happened to you?”

“Yes Barbra, there is more to this story and now I must add to it. What Lisa didn’t know was that her mentor, Alexandra, also had been watching her. When it got to a point that she could no longer bear what Lisa was doing she had approached me, she had seen Lisa’s mark on me. I didn’t want to believe her at the time. I mean I had no concept about magic. I thought that Alexandra must have been out of her head. I just thought that she was just some wacko broad, but over a short period, I was convinced of her truth.

I then asked her many questions about magic and how it worked. She delighted in sharing with me. She really was a marvelous woman. Not knowing the exact conjuration that Lisa had used she could not tell me what to expect, but she deduced that Lisa used a form where the victim consented to the transformation. This bypassed some of the nastier backlashes that could come out of the magic. The victims just had no concept of what they were actually consenting to.

She told me what would happen and that I should just say no when I was asked any question like that by a woman that I would meet or have met. I asked why? She then told me what this woman had done and how she had done it. I was appalled and I had all intentions of saying no to any questions I was asked in the manner she had described. Something happened to me though; I fell deeply in love with Lisa. I thought and thought carefully about the problem I had. I didn’t want to lose what I had over the last month. I carefully constructed what my response would be, I took a big chance because I didn’t know if this would work or not but felt that it was worth the effort. So when I was asked I gave her my reply.” Jennifer said.

“My spell had a hole that I had failed to see. It was not completed by me but the person I cast it on had always had the last word in how the spell was cast. Jennifer’s words became part and parcel of my spell. My portion of the spell was already cast and could not be revoked, and because I required the subject’s approval for the spell, they could actually overwrite the portions on my spell and create a new spell. Jennifer added something to my spell that no other ever added and that was love. Our love became incorporated in the spell.

Trying to avoid one principle of magic, I ran afoul of another. I had failed to see that both of us were actually crafting the spell.” Lisa said. “Now I would have done it no other way, Jennifer has become my raison d’etre. My whole life has changed now. I have gone back and offered restoration to all I have wronged. I can’t excuse my previous bad behavior, but I set about correcting my wrongs. Many of my victims in fact twenty-one of the men I changed wanted to stay female. I made them and their children prosperous. I restored some youthful vigor to all of them and helped soften the insults of life they had faced. Some forgave me but I didn’t seek their forgiveness for my blessing.”

“I want to thank you Lisa for your story and thank you Jennifer for being so nice, but I feel that there is something you’re not telling me that I should know.” Barbra stated.

“There is,” Lisa stated“, your number twenty five. I need to know how you feel about being a women or reverting to a man. I will tell you this though as a woman you are strong in magic as a man you would be your old self.” Lisa said while making some gestures and saying some arcane words as the veil that separated the Barbra from Bobby rent.

Bobby’s memories were there but they were buffered. Though overwhelmed Barbra could see her past as Bobby played like a movie. Anger built within her as she saw that bitch manipulate Bobby and then she saw her life as Barbra. Tears fell from her eyes as conflicting emotions began to bubble forth. She saw that she had been lucky that some of the things that had made her geeky had stuck with her and she had not had to sell her body.

“I am placing another buffer between your past and present so that you may better able to decide dear. I am so sorry for mucking with your life. I don’t expect forgiveness but I or Jennifer can help make your life better, whatever you decide.”

“What of the family I saw that I had?” Barbra spat.

“They can know you, if you desire, no matter what you choose. They didn’t grieve for you Dear, it was as if you didn’t exist, but they can be restored to you. There is no hurry Dear, I can blot out your past again or leave you with your memories or even make your memories line up with your choice. I owe it and so much more to you.”

Lisa and Jennifer laid Barbra down on a bed as her mind sorted through the myriad of emotions she was facing. They covered her with a blanket and left her laying there.

“I am so proud of you Lisa. I know how hard this has been on you. It is good that you are helping those you have harmed. I know she will be ok she is taking it well, I think she will stay too.”

“Jennifer thank you for staying by my side, I am so ashamed of what I was. Thank you for making me what I am.”