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Chapter Six
I have three new hires to train in the six nights until vacation and my wedding. The weatherman has said that the week will be clear and we have little chance of fog, so becoming Kim Kardashian will probably not happen. Las Vegas is always clear so she shouldn't follow me there either.

I'm a bit of a workaholic and am glad to have something to keep my mind occupied. I have never been as antsy to get something done before. I hadn't been as anticipatory with my first wedding as I am with mine and Lexi's. I loved my ex, and in a way I still do, but this time seems enchanted.

Lexi has called me several times and always ends with the same “I love you, Ken doll.” I used to hate that growing up because the kids would tease me about my name but it sounds so cute and endearing coming from my future Mrs. Karcher.

..........
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I am training Officer Luanne Reeve on a route that encompasses most of downtown Finesse City. We get to check out skyscrapers, for the most part, and will interact with several posted guards if we run across them. I note the guards I see and the old men take care of disciplining the ones I don't see. I feel a little guilty because if I was posted in a building as large as some of the ones we patrol, I might not ever see anyone for days.

We have arrived at one of the newest buildings in downtown Finesse City. It is an upscale hotel where a lot of Hollywood types hang out. Being so close to Mexico, our city is attractive to the pretty people and such. We haven't seen any celebrities but we have found the posted guard, Officer Bill Henning.

“Much of a night, officer?” I ask. “Seen any stars?”

“No sir! Well, it depends on which stars you are talking about. Heavenly bodies or Hollywood heavenly bodies!”

I chuckle and they catch on then start laughing with me out of respect.

“Naw, just the usual tenants and residents. Good evening ma'am.”

I thought that Officer Henning was making reference to my trainee when he said good “evening, ma'am” but I realize now that he is talking to me. But didn't he just call me “sir”?

I glance down at my hands and they are different. I glance further to where my pants should be and I am wearing a skirt. Further down I have nylons and sensible heels. I realize I must be Kim Kardashian.

..........
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I had not noticed the change because this building was still unfamiliar to me. I have noticed on the two times before that certain aspects of each site change but this apartment/hotel seems the same to me.

I am standing, talking to Officers Henning and Reeve when we are passed by a couple heading for the bar. I overhear part of the conversation and the woman has whispered in her man's ear “she looks like her” and I wonder if she is talking about me.

I lift my arm hoping to check the time and I find a charm bracelet instead.

“Do either of you have the time?”

Both officers chuckle.

Officer Henning offers, “Touch your chest, Kimberly.”

I put my hand against my chest and I hear a voice, like a computer.

...TWENTY-TWO-FORTY-THREE-HOURS OFFICER KARDASHIAN...

I am floored.

This hasn't happened before.

I turn to face Officer Henning and he is talking to me like I'm a guy again.

“Kendall, you have a watch.”

I look at my wrist and it is male again and I have a Rolex firmly affixed to it. I have dense am hair and it is in stark contrast to my arm when I am in Kim Kardashian mode. I can also see that I am wearing uniform pants and not a skirt.

“Does anyone have some water?” I ask.

“Is a diet Pepsi okay?” Officer Henning asks and I nod my head positively. “Are you okay, Kedall?”

“Yeah. I think it's the wedding arrangements taking their tole on me.”

“Well if you need to sit down, we can go to my office.”

I thank him and say that Officer Henning and I need to be on our way. We are a bit off schedule and I don't want to set a bad example for the newbie.

“Come on, Luanne, we can make up time. I'll show you how.”

She nods and we leave.

..........
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I've told you all that I know. I have never had a feeling like that before. I don't know if I really transformed into Kim Kardashian for a brief moment or if my mind is playing strange tricks on me. Anyway, I let Officer Reeve drive. Maybe my mind will be in better repair if I relax for a couple of minutes.

..........
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It is a brilliantly clear June evening and the stars are sparkling brighter than I've seen them here if Finesse City. We are not lucky enough to see the Milky Way, but many of the brighter stars and planets are clearly visible. I point to the constellation Orion as we walk to our first RFID disk.

My boss likes to place RFID disks kind of high, I don't but he does, so I stat to stretch my arm up to reach it. I cannot so I get up on the tips of my toes and still cannot. I'm six-foot three l so I believe it strange that I cannot reach it. What about the shorter officers?

“Here, let me get that for you, Officer Kardashian.”

Officer Reeve takes the RFID scanner from my hand and she successfully reaches the disk.

Huh?

Did she just call me Officer Kardashian?

I stretch out my arms and they are hairless. My hands are tiny but my fingers are long. I am, again, wearing a skirt and sensible dress shoes. I feel up toward my head and my hair is long.

I should be bald.

“Officer Kardashian, may I ask you something?”

I nod. “You may.”

“Why are you a security officer... I mean, you're gorgeous enough to be a supermodel maybe.”

“You're gorgeous too, Luanne,” I interrupt. “so why are you wanting to be a guard?”

“It's in my heart, ma'am. Ever since I was a little girl I wanted to help people and this seemed like a good way to fulfill that part of me. Maybe being a security guard is yours too but you're totally hot. You could make a lot more money letting people take your picture.”

I start blushing.

“I love security, Luanne, and being able to train young officers so that they may be able do their best has always been my goal. It's been my desire for almost forty-five years.”

“But ma'am, you can't be more than twenty-five.”

“Uhm, I meant over twenty-years. I was talking to my grandpa before I came to work. I guess I was thinking of him.”

“Is he a security guard? I mean, my grandpa os and he loves it.”

“No. My grandpa died in Vietnam. He died before my Daddy was born.”

“I'm sorry, Officer Kardashian. I didn't know.”

“Of course you didn't, dear. No offense is taken. I do my job to honor him.”

“Did you ever think of applying as a Finesse City Police Officer?”

“Yes. I was going to go to college to study criminal justice, but then I met a girl and we became really good friends. She worked at Finesse City Security.”

“I understand. Friendship forms a lot of our lives.”

“We're getting married.”

“But you're a woman and she is, isn't she?”

“She is. We're waiting for same sex marriages to be legalized.”

“Are you a lesbian... oh! I'm sorry. That's none of my business.”

“We are, and I don't mind your question. No offense taken.”

“You seem like a nice lady, Officer Kardashian. Your girlfriend should consider herself blessed.”

“She tells me she's blessed all the time I'm with her.”

"What are you and your girlfriend going to do, though. Mother Palin has practically made being homosexual an executable offense. Don't you remember hearing about it?"

"We did, but we believe that if there is a way, the maker will provide that way for us."

"That's so neat!"

............
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I tell her about Lexi but I make up the part about being lesbian. If things work out as I planned... as Lexi and I planned... I will be marrying as a groom and not as a bride. I'm totally into girls but I've never broached the idea of being in a relationship with my girl as a girl/

Officer Reeve tells me that she is a lesbian too. She tells me about her girlfriend and shows me a picture of her when we get back to the Tacoma. It's amazing the things these trucks will do.

As we are talking, the monitors and automated steering flutter in and out of existence and eventually disappear. I quickly check myself as a steering wheel materializes in my hands. My arms are hairy and I'm Kendall Karcher again.