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Chapter Three

A month has passed since Jessica Johnston completed training and she is out patrolling on her own route. The old man is pleased with her performance and that reflects back on me in really good ways. I am almost to my five-year mark as an officer for Finesse City Security and I am up for my annual performance review. Anything good will definitely earn me another pip and change in rank from lieutenant to sergeant.

Things have been happening in a fairly uneventful manner throughout most of this month. I've had a couple of tows, which seem to be the most exciting thing in my career lately, when I'm not training new officers or turning into Kim Kardashian.

I love training officers and it is my life-blood. I'm really not sure how I feel looking like a beautiful woman because, after all, I am a guy. I transform myself quite regularly when I am at home and alone by myself. I have to be quite frank with you, I look like Kendall Alan Karcher, Jr. in a dress and makeup and nothing at all like Miss Kardashian.

The weather here in Finesse City is usually foggy in December and especially when it approaches Christmastime. It has been unseasonably clear for almost a month. I'm glad because the one-and-only time I changed gender physically was in the fog. Maybe that's what did it to me. Maybe not.

It is Officer Johnston's night off and the roving officer is sick. All other patrols are filled and we have no one to fill Central South so I get to do it myself.

Guess what?

It's foggy.

Such luck.
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I approach my vehicle and it is familiar, just like every other night. It is solid white with the funky logo that no one seems to be able to read. It is a 2010 Toyota Tacoma. Light bar on top, It is automatic drive and it does not drive itself. And it doesn't talk to me.

But it has.

And that's what kind of scares me tonight.
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I am through with the check of the office park and the hospital. All is okay.

I am off to my place of melioration. I enter the spot that had allowed my change to occur that night, the dreaded light pole. I get out of the truck, walk to the RFID disc and tap my scanner to it. I survey the park with my flashlight and turn to my vehicle.

Nothing has changed.

Nothing.

I drive to my next hit, a medium-sized shopping center in the valley. Nothing has happened.

Nothing changes.

I'm on to my way to my next hit, a six-story office building containing our one-and-only hit which is an education center. I am entering the office and proceed to the Internet Technology room which contains several monitors surveying rooms in the complex. I am looking at one of the monitors and I see Kim Kardashian.

And she is me.
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I look the same as I did when I trained Officer Johnston. I am a carbon-copy of the reality television star. I have always had a fond attraction to her, but why do I look like her now?

I had planned on a restroom stop in this building since the restrooms are always clean and stocked with plenty of toilet paper. Funny how not having it when you need it can ruin your whole day.

I had planned on just going into the mens' room, unzipping my fly and pulling willy out but my anatomy has changed a bit. A girl using the inappropriate facility is something I don't want to try and explain to a janitor so I go into the ladies' room. Sure enough, I have the things that make a girl a girl.

I finish up, wash my hands and head for the elevators.

When I arrive where the elevators had been a new contraption awaits me. It looks similar to a transporter form Star Trek and I know the drill. I stand over the spot marking my transport and I am materialized to the ground floor.

I walk to the doors and they don't open, they dematerialize as I pass through them and materialize after I am outside. I have no pass key so I reason that I am wearing some sort of controlling device but cannot find one anywhere on my body.

I am at my vehicle and it is definitely different but not exactly like it was when it changed while I trained Officer Johnston. It was pewter in color this time and had no indicia on it nowhere. It had the same welcoming beacon.

...WELCOME OFFICER KARDASHIAN... I AM READY AND AT YOUR SERVICE...

I remember the voice but it sounds more realistic and feminine. As I talk back to it, I realize that it is my voice.

“Thank you Tacoma. On to Finesse City Stadium, please.”

...CERTAINLY, MADAM...

The Tacoma is still a Toyota and the monitor screens are the same. One monitor faces toward me and the other faces toward the passenger. However, there seems to be no steering wheel option and the vehicle totally steers itself.

“What happened to the option for me to drive, Tacoma,” I ask.

...THERE HAS NEVER BEEN SUCH AN OPTION WITH TACOMA 2010, MADAM. 2011 WILL REMAIN AS IS...

“Why is that, Tacoma?”

...VEHICLES PRIOR TO 2101 HAD STEERING OPTION BUT ACCIDENTAL DEATHS TO INNOCENT HUMANS CAUSED OPTION TO BE DELETED. VEHICLES WITH STEERING OPTION WERE DESTROYED 01-01-2010...

“All vehicles, Tacoma?”

...YES, MADAM. IT BECAME ILLEGAL TO POSSESS STEERABLE AND INTERNAL COMBUSTION VEHICLES BY WORLD EDICT...

“Thank you, Tacoma.”

I say nothing else in regards to the fate of vintage automobiles. As I wait for the Tacoma to get me to Finesse City Stadium, I decide to check out my identification cards. As I remove my ID from it's wallet, the monitor in front of me is displaying personal information on its screen.

A rotatable three-dimension photograph of me is displayed. I look at the screen and down at my ID and it is an exact duplication. I am embarrassed because the screen shows me unclothed and is pinpointing areas of pain I am experiencing. It also displays my current body temperature, my vital statistics and other physical information.

“Quite probing,” I say to myself.

...MADAM, YOU ARE FINESSE CITY SECURITY SPECIALIST KIMBERLY NOEL KARDASHIAN. PATROL ROUTE TRAINER. 30 YEARS OLD. 5'3” TALL. 117 LBS. 35D-26-40. BROWN EYES. BROWN HAIR. PRESENT BODY TEMPERATURE: 99 DEGREES. WITHIN PERAMETERS. TRAINING OFFICER JESSICA ANNE JOHNSTON, AGED TWENTY-ONE YEARS. PRESENT BODY TEMPERATURE IS 98.6 DEGREES, WITHIN ALLOWED PERAMETERS. PAIN IN RIGHT SHOULDER, LEFT NIPPLE AND LOWER LUMBER...

“Thank you, Tacoma. When did they come up with the technology to do all of this?”

...MADAM, IN THE MIDDLE 1940s. THE ROSWELL ALIENS HAVE BEEN KIND IN PROVIDING US MUCH USEFUL TECHNOLOGY. THEY HAD QUITE LITERALLY BECOME MANKIND'S SAVIORS...

“But the aliens crashed at Roswell. What do you mean, Tacoma, they provided us with useful information?”

...ROSWELL ALIENS DID NOT CRASH, MADAM, AND THEY BECAME RESPECTED AMBASSADORS FOR PLANET TARA...

“Tara?”

...TARA. CLASS “M” PLANET. THIRD PLANET FROM SOL. MILKY WAY GALAXY...

“Tara. Wow. We call it Earth.”

...HUMANS OF EARLIER TARA CALLED OUR PLANET 'EARTH' BUT CORRECT DESIGNATION IN THE CORRELATION OF PLANETS IS NOW 'TARA'. PRINCESS PALIN IS RULER OF TARA. LONG LIVE PRINCESS PALIN...

“Sarah Palin?”

...YES, MADAM. SARAH PALIN IS RULER OF HEAVEN AND EARTH. SHE IS DUE MANKIND'S HOMAGE...
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