Dear Dad,

Printer-friendly version

Dear Dad,
by Jonelle

I'm really not sure what to say here, I just know I've got to say it. You've been gone since I was ten. You've been physically gone since I was three.

Why should it even matter?

Somehow, it does.

It doesn't matter that you're gone.
It doesn't matter that you were never really here.
The only thing that matters is that you know me.
Not the 'me' that everyone thought they knew, but the 'Real' me.

I'm your other daughter. The one nobody knew about.
It's not like I'm a 'bastard' child.
I'm just the one that nobody knew.

You and Mom were legally united.
I was merely the second child of that union.
I just wasn't what you thought.

I was, by no means the eldest son.

That was my brother.

Granted, he was by no means a role model for anyone.

Three marriages, three kids.
Yeah, a bit too much like you, Dad.

Misogynist; Hedonist; Sexist.
Your perfect ideal of masculinity.

Absolute And Total Bullshit!!!

I've met a man that proves just how wrong you were.
He has a heart;
a soul with so much depth that you couldn't comprehend.

I'm in Love with Him.

I know that thought probably gives you indigestion and then some.

It should.

Your vision of manhood should make anybody sick.

Everybody and everything made me believe that I was male.
I never have been. I never will be.

I'm your other daughter.
The one you never knew.
The one you never will.

I Love You Dad.

I'm not sure why.

You're My Daddy.
That seems to be all that matters to me.

It's all that ever has.

I Love You,

Jonelle

up
97 users have voted.
If you liked this post, you can leave a comment and/or a kudos! Click the "Thumbs Up!" button above to leave a Kudos

Comments

How can ascribe?..

Andrea Lena's picture

..."Good Story" to something so deeply personal and precious?
I've met a man that proves just how wrong you were.
He has a heart;
a soul with so much depth that you couldn't comprehend.

I'm in Love with Him.
Something so beautiful deserves to be treated with respect and admiration, dear heart. This made me cry to the point where I can hardly type. Thank you seems so small..but I do thank you for your verse and the testimony of love that you gave me today.

<

Dio vi benedica tutti
Con grande amore e di affetto
Andrea Lena

  

To be alive is to be vulnerable. Madeleine L'Engle
Love, Andrea Lena

i am with "drea

it hurt to read, but i am glad you could share it.

"Treat everyone you meet as though they had a sign on them that said "Fragile, under construction"

dorothycolleen

DogSig.png

I understand it!

We all want our Daddies to love us, to protect us, and be our hero. That's what Daddies do.
Unfortunately, some Daddies are a lot less than perfect. At least the Daddy in this story is not an Abuser.
My Daddy is the only one in the Family to accept and love me (I don't count my wife. That's a different "FAMILY". Luckily, My Daddy loves her, too. Ain't I lucky?
I'll admit, my Daddy has a serious case of "Dirty Old Man" Disease. I wonder if I'll be like that when I get older. The real question I have to ask myself is, who am I going to be looking at then? Can I choose both? Hmmmm.
Great Story!
Hey this is a first! New stories from both of you!

Love ya!
Wren

Yes,yes,

ALISON

'Andrea has said it all for me.A beautiful and personal piece of prose.Congratulations!

ALISON

I go to work, and think

about you in all my spare moments and It drives me home to see you there waiting for me Jonelle. But I never thought I'd see something just so, stunning. I love you, I love you so much it can hurt, but in the best of ways. What you said here was huge, it's rocked me in a way that I'm still processing.
There's one certain thing.
I just fell for you all over again.

Bailey Summers

This is almost like poetry

Poetry rarely speaks to me. Even more rarely does it speak FOR me.

This does.

My own father wasn't like this man, for which I'm thankful. He only ever made two discouraging comments, and was an example of what I might call masculine mediocrity.

He was a father, not a Daddy. I never had a Daddy and Mummy, just a father and mother.

It probably wasn't all their fault; considering their parents, that's probably the way that they were brought up.

S.

Dear Dad,

I am sure that most, if not all daughters love their Daddy and want them to Love them back.

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine
    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

What's a dad?

Can't say as I know what a dad is. Don't remember much of mine. (Or my mother for that matter.)

Bev.

Growing old disgracefully.

bev_1.jpg

Being a 'father'

It would be a serious understatement to say that I have father issues... actually two different sorts of father issues.

I have the 'usual' issues with my father, who happened to be a judge. As I was growing up, I wanted more Dad and less Judge. His rejection when I transitioned was heart rending, something that I may never be able to get over. It is bittersweet for me that the day I learned of his passing was the day that I met the love of my life.

Then, there is the mess that I made by trying to be a father and dad whilst trying to be a man; when what I really needed and wanted was to be a mom. The most horrible part of that was when I emulated my father's behavior.

I can only pray that over the years that the legacy of dysfunction is supplanted with a legacy of love.

Thanks for the story... it gave us a lot to ponder.

Janet

Mistress of the Guild of Evil [Strawberry] Blonde Proofreaders
TracyHide.png

Janet

Mistress of the Guild of Evil [Strawberry] Blonde Proofreaders
TracyHide.png

To be or not to be... ask Schrodinger's cat.

For me, it was tear-invoking

Jonelle,

Thank you for writing this letter. Although my father was around much of my life, we seldom talked at all. He would acknowledge me, briefly, but we never carried on a lengthy conversation. This set the stage for your letter to speak to me. And my tears were flowing.

When my father found out that I needed to be a girl, he went berserk. He never harmed me, he just disowned me. I was never able to see him after my transition, and I don't know if he would have liked me any better, but I like me.

I especially liked:

I'm your other daughter. The one nobody knew about.
It's not like I'm a 'bastard' child.
I'm just the one that nobody knew.

and:

I've met a man that proves just how wrong you were.
He has a heart;
a soul with so much depth that you couldn't comprehend.

Thank you again. I hope you know it talks to all of us and it is appreciated.

Caroline

Dad

This has been open in my browser for over a week now, waiting for me to get the chance to read it. I read the first two lines when it was posted, and knew that I had to finish. But things kept me away.

Now that I've had the chance, I am so grateful that you shared this with us. While my dad has always been there in my life, he tries to distance himself from what I'm going through. I know he cares, but like most of my family, he would rather pretend it isn't happening.

On the other side, finding a meaningful relationship like you two have is a rare occurrence. Hold on to it. You two deserve nothing less.

Hugs,
Megan