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Looking at the responses I got from my last entry, I feel I need to explain a bit about my faith. When I first became a Christian, I had no real teachers in the faith. I got a bible, and read it from cover to cover several times. Some things I understood, some I did not, but I had no one to ask. Since I was a "Christ"-ian, I figured I should read what Christ said and use that as my guide. Unfortunately, there was nothing that really covered the area of my tg, at least in the new testament. But since I felt guilty, I kept re-accepting Jesus into my life every time I "sinned" which was pretty often. Then I finally found a church - A baptist church to be precise. Some people would have found them rather dogmatic, (they struggled with weather there could be such a thing as "Christian Rock and Roll") but i found them kind, generous, and full of love. Through the years since, I have attended liberal and conservative churches, and met Christians of almost every stripe in between, but my gender issues kept me isolated. In many ways, I am a very conservative Christian. I belive the bible is true, and use it as a foundation for all i do. That being said, its no longer a case of fearing going to Hell anymore, I have moved past that. It is just I love my God, I want to serve Him fully, and I don't want to do anything that He would not approve of, but at the same time this gender issue simply must be dealt with. I think that thanks to finding some Christians who are going through the same struggle I am, I am closer to accepting myself than I ever have been. And that's a start, right?
Comments
Absolutely, Dorothy!!!
[email protected] I'm also one of faith. Believing is the hardest part of the battle. There was so much good advice on your last blog, I didn't feel it necessary to comment. I just want to let you know that you're not alone. We all question our motivations and the underlying causes. Be true to yourself. That's more important than anything else. Once you've done that, everything else will follow.
Huge HUGS,
So Much Love,
Always Your Friend,
Jonelle-Elise(Bailey's Cuter Half!) ;)
[email protected]
Amen!
Just don't let small minded people distract you, or cause you to dismay!
We love ya, hon. God loves you. Keep praying. The great tempter may try to hurt you, but you CAN beat him.
Lot's O' Hugs! Now in your grocer's freezer!
Wren
In many ways, I am still Baptist
You know, I think you are a real seeker, Mashallah. My first experience with Christianity, was with Hal Lindsey's, "Late Great Planet Earth." At that time, I was unbelievably bitter and angry. I would make most of the bitter and angry people here look like sissies. It is some kind of miracle that I even lived, because everytime I got in a fight, I always picked the big guys and they would just KICK MY ASS! Shit, one of them even threatened to spank me !
So, a friend gave me that book, and I read it and went and got several Bibles and tried to find his references in there too. Oh, I always believed in an organising influence in the Universe, but a God that gave a shit? Well, it took me two week ends to read that book and at the end, I was on my knees asking for forgiveness and help. I had two toddlers and a wife and I was scared to death. I did not want to fuck them up as bad as I was.
So, I read the Bible through like a novel. Not many people do that. They just depend on the preacher to tell them what is what. When I started taking the family to church, I was in trouble all the time because I asked questions and wanted to know why too much.
There are Christian churches that would accept you. In the US, there is: Metropolitan Community Church, Church of Christ, the Unitarian church, ELCA Lutherans, and several others, so you do not have to attend the Baptist church.
I'd likely still be a Baptist if they had not thrown me out, but I would still be a pain in the ass; asking questions and doubting the doctrine. So, you can still be Christian. I am now Muslim, but don't think for a moment that I embrace some of the stupidity.
Now days, I see myself as mostly just a cranky old student of early religion. It is all very interesting, especially when you get to find out about Pre Christianity, and the early church. If you are into it, read about "The Counsel of Nicea", "The essenes", and the goals of Muhammad PBUH in the Pre-islam time.
Hopefully, you will pop out the other side with the realization that we are to love God, and love our fellow man. That is really job one. All the rest of the stupid crap we fight about is just distractions; excuses so we do not have to look in our own faces and fix ourselves.
Merry Christmas
Khadijah
Vernacular
Perhaps one of the greatest potential strengths of Christianity is that as numerous translations of the text into the vernacular are available, it gives individual believers the power to read scripture themselves, and come to their own interpretations of the content.
Theoretically.
Unfortunately, many believers are still in the "sheep" mindset and believe whatever is issued from the mouth of the person behind the lectern. Many conservatives will quote liberally from the moral guidance included in the Torah, while completely ignoring rules and regulations on other subjects (e.g. food/drink, clothing materials, slave ownership, punishments), even though these are often in the same sections (sometimes even immediately adjacent to) the sections they're quoting.
I'm all for the "try before you buy" method of finding a congregation - either at your next support group meeting or via the net (if they have a mailing list / discussion group / email address) it might be worth asking if anyone knows if there's an LGBT-friendly church in the area. After all, acceptance of you as you are is probably far more important to you than whether the hymns were written in the 18th or 20th century, whether it's happy clappy or solemn and serious, or whether the leader believes in transsubstantiation or not. Even if the style of worship doesn't suit you, if you find a church that's accepting then you can put up with the occasional service, but get involved in the social life of the church, prayer groups etc.
Oh, and if you need help with sections of the bible that you can't easily understand or interpret, it wouldn't hurt to hop down to your local library and grabbing an (educational) study guide - these often take segments and put them in their historical / cultural / religious context, together with any known biases of the author. Once you've got an outline understanding of the context of the passage, you can then look forward and see how it applies / fits within a modern context.
The classic (non controversial) passage is The Good Samaritan. The parable takes on significantly greater meaning when you know why the rabbi and levite ignored the mugged traveller, and why initial audiences would have been shocked at who actually did help him in the end.
There are 10 kinds of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't...
As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!
I am also a christian seeker
I can relate to your experience. Even though I grew up in a "christian" community and became a member of the church in my youth, I became disilusioned with the small-, single- and closed-mindedness of the religious dogma: e.g. it is perfectly OK for girls to cross-dress as boys, but any boy who dares to show even a hint of femininity is damned to hell! For obvious reasons I will refrain from divulging the exact denomination.
For the sake of my daughters I am currently closeting my feminine side. Not only becuase of the religious leadership, but also because national culter is very macho dominated and most family court judges are biased militant feminists. Unless a miracle happens, I will have to remain where I am for at least another 2.5 to 3 years.
If you want to correspond by e-mail, send me a PM with your e-mail address and I will send you mine.
Hugs,
Jessica