This story was inspired by a song of the same name done by a gospel group called New Song. If you want to hear some really moving Christmas music I urge you to look them up.

I was shopping late for Christmas, not unusual for a guy my girl friend was fond of teasing me, in a women’s shoe store. And no it wasn’t for my girlfriend. I was looking for something for myself.

I was a not so secret cross dresser and Lila had told me to go out and buy something for the girl me that I really wanted, then bring it home so she could wrap it and ‘give’ it to me on Christmas morning.

Lila was gem. She loved me for who I am, not what I am and her knowing that I liked getting all dressed up and pretty didn’t bother her at all.

“I love Andy and I love Andrea.” She’d told me on numerous occasions. “It isn’t the wrapping I love, it’s the person inside that.”

So that’s how I ended up being in an upscale ladies shoe store at ten AM on Christmas Eve.

I could see how sad the little guy was the moment he walked into the store, but applauded his lack of hesitance to look at the shoes on display. He couldn’t have been more than ten years old, so I knew the shoes in this store wouldn’t fit him but didn’t say a thing about it as he carefully looked at each pair on display.

Finally, he picked up a red pair of pumps, with a pretty white bow on the vamp and resolutely took them to the counter.

“Ma’am.” He said once he reached the checkout. “I need to buy these shoes for my sister. How much are they?”

The clerk looked at them and told him the price. They would have cost me a week’s pay, but the little guy didn’t flinch or even act like he was going to put them back.

“It’s so close to Christmas and I want to give my sister a really nice present.” He told her. “I just want her to feel pretty when she wears them and Daddy told me I have to hurry because she doesn’t have a lot of time left.

I’ve been saving money since last year for a game system I want.” He went on while dumping a pile of change and crumpled dollar bills on the counter. “But I want to get her theses shoes and they would mean so much to her, do I have enough?”

“I’ll have to count this.” The clerk told him gently seeing how tired, upset and sad he was. “Your sister must be a really special person.”

“Yeah, she is.” The little guy beamed. “People have always been mean to her because God made a mistake when she was born. Everybody who doesn’t know her thinks she should be a boy, but she isn’t. She’s my sister and I love her. But other people made fun of her, hit her, and hurt her because she didn’t want to be a boy. She’s always been my sister and after Mommy went to see Jesus last year she’s tried so hard to be a mama for me too, so I know someone loves me. I love her so much. That’s why I want to get these shoes for her. She saw them on her computer and I could tell she wanted them.”

“That’s very nice of you.” The clerk, her name tag said her name was Stacey answered while giving the pile of change and bills a reluctant look. “I’ll have to count all this you know, before you can buy the shoes. Why do you want them so badly for her when you’ve been saving for something you want?”

“Because Daddy told me she’s going to go see Jesus soon.” The little boy answered with a very solemn look on his face. “And I want her to meet Jesus feeling pretty so God can fix his mistake when she comes back to live with another family. She’d be so pretty with these shoes, and she would love them so much. Even when she was hurt, she always had time to hug me and tell me things would get better and I shouldn’t worry. Mommy was in heaven and we’d all see her when it was time, and that she didn’t mind getting hurt for being like Mommy.”

“Is your sister sick?” Stacey asked gently.

“Yes.” The boy answered then obviously thought about what he was going to say next. “We’re poor, Daddy works hard so we can eat and have things like clothes and food. But we couldn’t buy what she needed, so she found some without making Daddy pay for it. The doctors say she has cancer now, and it’s because she wanted to be real girl and used her money to buy — umm — mones? So she could be more like Mommy. But now she has to go meet Jesus and I just want her to feel and be pretty when she does. Then God will fix the mistake He made when she was born.”

I was crying by then, and so was Stacey. It was obvious the pile of change and wadded up dollar bills wouldn’t even make a payment to put those shoes on layaway, but the hope in that little boy’s eyes and his determination to make his sister’s last Christmas a good one was something that neither of us could ignore.

“Here.” I handed her my credit card. “Take it out of this and give him a little change.”

“I’d have given him the shoes.” Stacy told me as she ran my card.

“I know, but he needs to feel like he bought them, you know?”

The little guy was so engrossed with looking at those shoes, and anxiety to get them to his sister that he hadn’t heard a word either of us said.

“Here you go, sweetie.” Stacy handed him a twenty dollar bill, more than the pathetic, beautiful pile of money he’d offered and told him. “I can wrap those if you like.”

“Could you?” He asked with a smile that would have lit up the whole mall.

“Sure, I’d love to.” Stacy told him.

“She loves opening presents!” He smiled happily. “And this one will be the best one ever! Now she can show Jesus how pretty and nice she is!”

“I know he’ll love her, honey.” Stacy softly answered.

“You sure do love her.” I added with a catch in my voice. “Your sister is lucky to have a brother who loves her like you do.”

A few minutes later Stacey gave him a festive Red, Green and gold package that had a huge silver bow on it. “Here you go sweetie. Now you need to get this to your sister, don’t you?”

“Yeah!” He almost shouted and his beaming smile melted my heart again. “She’ll love these shoes!”

“Do you need a ride so she’ll get them in time?” I asked not caring that I looked as if I had just watched the saddest movie in creation.

“No, but thanks, mister.” He answered. “We live a block away. I saw her looking at these shoes and she looked so happy when she did. I just wanted her to have them before she goes to see Jesus.”

I hugged him then pointed him at the door. “Then go give them to her.”

“I will!” He smiled at both of us and stopped long enough to give us each a tight hug. “She is going to be SO happy with these shoes!”

“And tell her I love her, too.” I told him.

“Me too.” Stacey told him. “Your sister is really great person, isn’t she?”

“Yeah!” The little boy grinned so hard it hurt to look. “And now she can really be happy!”

We watched him charge out the door and just stood where we were for a few minutes.

“You want me to give your money back?” Stacey asked me.

“No.” I told her and shrugged. “If you can write this one off on the books, take the money and get yourself something nice for Christmas.”

“I’ve already had the best gift anyone could have.” She answered and gave me a smile that would have had hundreds of potential boyfriends drooling. “That was nice of you.”

“You’ d have given the kid the shoes whether I was here or not.”

“Yeah.” She nodded. “Now his sister will meet Jesus in style.”

“She will.” I nodded.

“Anything on the floor is yours, sir. Merry Christmas.”

“I just got the best gift I could ever think of.” I answered with a smile. “Thanks, but all I want is a shoebox.”

When I opened that box Christmas morning, I smiled and showed Lila what was in it.

One piece of paper.

With the word ‘LOVE’ written on it.

My best wishes to all of you this Christmas Season.

Maggie