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by Lauren Renée
Long before I was Lauren I was Laura. But owning a name for my hidden identity doesn't mean I accepted her. In fact on one particularly bad stretch of the road to acceptance I tried my best to kill her off.
Visions Of Laura
©1987 Lauren Renée Hotchkiss
VERSE 1
No one's stirring late at night, in the silence of the darkness
As I'm lying here all alone
But in a place not far away, amid the swirling mist she lies
Beneath a carved and lonely stone
And I have learned to dread the night
For it is then that she comes to me, until the morning light
CHORUS
Visions of Laura - before my eyes
Visions of Laura - through tears that never dry
Visions of Laura - she won't go away
But maybe she won't come today
VERSE 2
I try to get her off my mind, to look to all that lies ahead
But my thoughts keep going back to her
Memories unbidden come, and then before reluctant eyes
Images of things as they once were
Once again I start to feel the pain
Darkening the future where the past should make no claim
(CHORUS)
BRIDGE
Oh leave me alone
Forgive me for what I did to you
Oh leave me alone
Let the past be; let me free
INSTRUMENTAL SECTION)
VERSE 3
I see her face out in the dark, there beyond the window pane
Trapped within a world she can't escape
Through the glass she calls to me, in words unheard above the roar
of the wind that forever cries “too late”
But though we shall forever be apart
Each vision's like an icicle that stabs into my heart
(CHORUS)
TAG
TODAY Today today today
TODAY Today today today
TODAY Today today today
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Comments
Twenty-three years ago
That had to have been a very tough time for you. Hopefully, things are a lot better, now.
Portia
Portia
Visions of Laura
How sad and poignant.
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
Although I never laid a 'hand' on my femme self...
...there were many times throughout my life where I kept 'putting to death' this part of myself; much of which was fueled by a skewed idea of how God viewed me. After nearly fifty years of this struggle, I have finally found a peace within myself. I found that I had to seek forgiveness in a way from her for the neglect she endured. This touched me in away in that hardly special but nearly always present place of guilt and shame take hold. You brought me to tears with this; both sad and joyful, as I remember just how blessed Andrea has made my life. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Dio vi benedica tutti
Con grande amore e di affetto
Andrea Lena
Love, Andrea Lena
Mandolin and guitar?
Very personal and moving. Thanks.
Actually, Rock
Although I play mandolin and other instruments, I've always played this song with somewhat of a hard edge, either on guitar or keyboards.
Lauren Renee
Lauren Renee