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I sat on the wooding fence looking out over the reed beds and out across the river, the cool evening breeze rippling my skirt. I pulled my shawl tighter round my shoulders. The sun would soon set, and reluctantly I considered that it was time to leave. I like it here, alone, down by the river. I can be who I want to be and just detach myself from the day-to-day misery that life can be at times. I try to come here at least three times a week.

I started to walk back towards home. As I did so, my mobile phone beeped at me denoting a text message had been received. “Dad Home. Plan B. S”. I quickly texted back, “OK ETA 5”.

The message was from Susan, letting me know that my father had already arrived home, and that therefore she would meet me on the footpath at the end of the road with my spare set of cloths so that I could change before I go inside. You see, despite what I am wearing, I am not a girl, well not by the traditional definition at least. My name is David Palmer; I am a 14-year-old boy, most of the time. At the moment, I’m Jennifer Palmer, my own ‘twin’ sister.

It’s starting to get quite dark now as I come up the footpath towards the back of the housing estate. I see Susan waiting for me with a rucksack. She is slightly off the path, almost hidden in the undergrowth.

Susan Potter is my cousin, and is only a month older than I am. She is also my best friend and the only person who knows about my dual identities. The footpaths and alleys around our neighbourhood and down towards the river don’t get much foot traffic. There’s an occasional dog walker, but nobody I know. Our immediate neighbours are all older couples and don’t tend to use the alleys. I can therefore slip in and out without too much risk, especially once it starts to get dark.

“Here, put these on”, says Susan as she passes me a tracksuit. I quickly pull the leggings on. The legs are stretchy enough that I can put them on without taking my trainers off. I pull them up underneath my skirt. I then remove the skirt and shawl and hand them to Susan, swapping them for the zip up top. I put it on and zip it up to the top to hide the blouse I am wearing.

Turning to Susan I say. “Thanks Susan, Dad must have finished work early again. I swear he is deliberately coming home at odd times to try and catch me out.”

“Jenny, you’re paranoid.” she replied.

“It’s not paranoia if they really are out to get you.” I state.

“Come on. I will walk you home.” Susan turns and starts up the footpath. “I have told my folks that I need to cross reference some home work with you, so that I am not expected back for half an hour.”

We walk together. The footpath emerges on the road behind ours. We cross the road and go down another alleyway opposite.

We live on the same street, a small cul-de-sac of twenty houses. Susan lives at number 1, where the cul-de-sac emerges onto the main street. I live down the other end of the short road at number 11. This particular alleyway runs past the side of my house before emerging onto our road. There is a gate giving access into my back garden, which we quickly slip through without being seen from the road. I lock the gate behind us and we cross the garden and go in the back door into the kitchen. My father is checking the casserole in our slow cooker. He greets us as we come in, and after exchanging short pleasantries, Susan and I retreat to my bedroom for some privacy.

I change cloths again, removing all my girl cloths and replacing them with appropriately male attire of jeans and shirt. While I change, Susan checks my answers to my algebra homework. After twenty minutes, Susan leaves and returns home, happy her homework is ready for submission. That’s her payment for keeping me out of trouble. She helps me be Jenny in return for help with homework, chores, or anything else she needs. We are effectively sisters, and would do anything for each other, but trying to keep the flow of favours balanced makes me less guilty for her help and support.

I joined my father, John, for dinner. It’s just the two of us. I never knew my mother, Alice; she died before I was born. I know that sounds silly, but unfortunately it’s true. My Parents were visiting a travelling fair. They were stood watching a temporarily constructed rollercoaster when one of the cars came loose and flew off the track. Several people were killed and many were injured. Both my mother was hit in the head by a piece of flying metalwork. Paramedics were on the scene within minutes and she was airlifted to hospital as quickly as possible. My mother was pronounced brain dead on arrival. I was delivered by emergency c-section one and a half months premature.

We moved to this present home when I was three, so that we would be close to my Aunt Janice and Uncle Richard. Janice is my father’s sister, and is the closest thing to a mother that I have. We are a close family, being a single parent wasn’t easy for my father, so my upbringing was shared with my Aunt and Uncle.

Susan and I are regarded more as brother and sister, rather than cousins. That’s why my father didn’t have issue with me having a girl in my bedroom while I got changed earlier. It’s the same at Susan’s house. I have been in her room loads of times while she has changed. When we go on holiday, we often share a hotel room or a tent. The adults did talk to us a few years ago when we started to reach puberty about if it was appropriate. However we both have the same opinion and insisted that the was no way were we attracted to each other in that way, it would be gross, and that we both respected each other’s privacy and had no problems if we caught the odd glances at each other naked.

I spent the evening watching TV with my father, before retiring to bed.

I didn’t sleep very well, waking up several times during the night. I kept dreaming I was walking around the cold deserted streets of town dressed in pink silk pyjamas. It was nighttime, but due to there being a full moon, there was enough light to see. It all seemed realistic, too realistic. I had to really concentrate and tell myself that I wasn’t sleep walking, it wasn’t real, and that I don’t own a pair of pink silk pyjamas. My actual pyjamas are satin in texture but pale blue. They are as close to girly as I dare go, although if I thought I could get away with it, I would love the pink silk.

I woke up very tired. I felt like I really had been walking round the town all night.

I persuaded Dad to give me a lift to school this morning. I didn’t feel like riding my bike this morning. It would mean a long walk home, rather than a quick cycle ride. We live about two miles from the school, about a forty-minute walk. I don’t mind walking, and often go strolling for miles along the riverbank.

The main problem was going to be I wouldn’t be able to get away from school quickly, which would make me a potential target for bullies. Usually Susan and I leave as quickly a possibly on our bikes so that we don’t run into trouble.

I have always been small for my age, one of the side effects I think of being born premature. Also being girlish in behaviour and appearance does make me a target for harassment. I try not to act girly, but it just comes too naturally for me. Hence, I am regarded by most of the school to be a sissy. Most of the jibes and insults are like water off a ducks back. I just ignore them, or play along with the jokes and it doesn’t bother me. It does get me down sometimes, but usually a bit of Jenny time soon cures my blues.

Things started to deteriorate mid morning. It started with a headache. My concentration was low and I almost got in trouble during my history class for lack of attention. It was getting close to lunchtime and I was beginning to feel ill. I started to have double vision. Not just normal double vision where you get the same image twice, one slightly offset from the other. This was weird. The second image would drift off and I would be looking at things from a different angle. It was like one eye was in my head and the other eye was drifting around the room. At one point, it seemed like I was looking at the back of my own head.

I closed my eyes and took some long slow breaths. The double vision was making me dizzy. Having closed my eyes I suddenly found myself looking down at the room from the ceiling. I sit at the front of the class as I am short sighted and so it is easier to read the board. I could see myself from above and saw the teacher turn and look at me. She put her hands on her hips and then shouted at me to pay attention. Instantly my vision snapped back to normal and I opened my eyes, to see her standing looking at me, with her hands on her hips.

“Sorry Mrs Hargreaves, I came over dizzy.” She looked at me suspiciously, and then continued with the lesson.

The lesson ended ten minutes later. The double vision was gone, but I now had a pounding migraine and my body was beginning to ache. With some difficulty I managed to stand, still slightly dizzy. With the help of Tracy, a friend who happens to sit next to me in this class, I was able to stagger to the front office and lay down in the first aid room.

The school nurse took my temperature and talked to me about my symptoms. Satisfied that I wasn’t trying to put one over her she let me lay down in the darkened room while the school office phoned my aunt and asked her to come and pick me up. My aunt Janice only works on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday mornings. Today being a Friday meant that she would be at home.

Lying down in the darkened room with my eyes closed I began to hallucinate. I dreamt I was floating above my aunt’s house. I saw her come out and get in her car. She was wearing a blue dress and white cardigan. I don’t recognise the cardigan. It’s a white knitted material and has three silver buttons going down the front. The buttons start about half way down giving it a very long V-neck, however it wasn’t done up but instead hanging open. A series of beautiful blue flowers are embroidered onto the front. I assume they must be blue bells. I watch from above as the car drives to the school.

On arrival, my aunt gets out of the car and I see her come in the front door and speak to the receptionist. I don’t hear what they say but I see her point my aunt down the corridor towards me. At this point, I hear my name being called and I wake up. I sit up just as Aunt Janice comes into the room and switches the light on.

She is exactly how I just pictured her in the blue dress, and white cardigan with blue flowers.

“You look awfully pale; it looks like you have just seen a ghost.” My aunt jokes with me as I slowly swing my legs off the bed onto the floor.

“I feel like one.” I reply.

Susan met us at the office and handed me my bag. While I have been lying down, she has retrieved the rest of my books from my locker. Tracy had taken my key, found her, and let her know I was ill.

After speaking with the office staff and signing me out as sick for the afternoon, we left and drove home. As soon as we were in the car, I took some headache tablets. On the way, I asked Aunt Janice if that was a new cardigan.

“Yes, I bought it this morning at Fashion Wheel on Kirby Street. They have a sale on at the moment and it was half price.” She replied.

What was happening to me? How could I possibly know what my aunt would be wearing when she came through that door? She wasn’t even dressed when we left for school this morning. I saw her wave from the window as we picked Susan up and she was still in her dressing gown. I seriously need some rest. I have read about experiments done by the CIA about people claiming to be able to view things remotely. I couldn’t possibly have seen her drive here; I had to be imagining this?

We arrive at my home and my aunt escorts me to my bedroom. I lay on the bed in the darkened room. She asks me if I am feeling better. I assure her that my dizziness has gone and the headache is starting to disappear. With some reluctance, my aunt agrees to return to her ironing and leave me to sleep it off. She is only a few doors down and will come back and check on me later.

A short while after she has gone I get up and go to the toilet.

I walk back through to my bedroom and collapse onto my bed. Well my body collapses onto the bed, but somehow I am also still standing next to the bed looking at my body falling down in front of me.