This is so hard! Ontop of everything else, I just don't know what to do.
Mom went into my Brother's room awhile ago to get batteries so She could check my blood-pressure. She was concerned about the effect of my new antidepressants, as was I. Well, the pressure was O.K.,(though on the very low side), but a few minutes later my Brother came storming out of his room and slammed a bunch of batteries down on the table.
He was screaming about getting his own place as soon as he could.
This wouldn't bother me so much if it wasn't for the fact that along with taking him in five years ago (rent-free), after his third divorce left few options; I just took Mom in at the beginning of summer after her pardner of seventeen years passed away.
She's a 'brittle diabetic' and it's been a 24/7 adventure in keeping Her out of a coma.
My Brother seems to resent the fact that I care more for Her than Him. He's always been selfish. I have my Grandmother to thank for that. She always doted on him. No matter what evil he might've induced, he always had Her blessings.
Shortly before She passed, She confessed to me that She'd screwed up completely with my brother. Unfortunately, She never conveyed that same message to him. He still doesn't know how She truly felt. He's the only wage-earner in the house today. If he leaves, I'm not sure I'll be able to save the place.
My only hope is that He might come around and realize that 'this is home'; it always has been, and it always will be, as long as I have anything to do with it.
Thanks to all that bothered to read this. I know it's convoluted and very self-serving, but I just don't know where else to look for help.
Love and Hugs,
Jonelle
Comments
Family and Such
Isn't Family wonderful? You can pick your friends, but family gives you no choice. I've a son who's grappeling with my transition, actually with the fact I'm TG. Last week he said I was "disgusting."
Of course he still drives my car, with gas I pay for, eats at home only when he's not at some burger joint, which of course I pay for (okay he does do chores and so gets an 'allowance'). Everything he needs, I will somehow provide - and he knows it.
And I am "disgusting."
Jo, you know I'm praying for you. I pray your brother figures things out. I pray you have the strength and energy to take care of your mother, deal with your brother, and find fulfillment for yourself.
Beth
You are my hero!
I wish I had the strength to transition. I hope someday your son comes to understand you, but it sounds like it won't be soon. I am just now beginning to "come out" to my family, and it is so difficult and scary. I know that once I tell everyone, it will be a great strain on many of my relationships. I really respect you for having the guts to go through with becoming yourself, even in the face of rejection. My prayers are with you, for what it's worth!
Wren
Oh, that just makes me hurt!
I've been in a similar situation, so I understand how you feel. This is going to sound so...stupid, I guess, but you really need to come to a common understanding. You might even need to discuss some kind of counseling.
I know, I know, it has always bugged me when people tell me to seek counseling, but if you don't find a way to fix things, I can guarantee it will definitely get worse. It's obvious you feel trapped in the situation, and you need to make sure that you get a measure of control. My situation got so bad that none of the parties involved have spoken to the others in years, and I can't see it improving in my lifetime, which is a great tragedy for our family.
My heart goes out to you!
Wren
Please don't apologize
...it wasn't convoluted; it was a plea for understanding about a frustrating situation that has you understandably worried and stressed. If you can't ask us for understanding and a shoulder and/or a sympathetic ear, where can you go. You're in the thoughts and prayers of a lot of folks here, sis, so don't fret about it wasn't a bother, it was a privilege that you trust us enough. Much Love, dear heart!!!
Dio vi benedica tutti
Con grande amore e di affetto
Andrea Lena
Love, Andrea Lena
A difficult one
perhaps explain that ou love both yur mother and your brother equally, but that you show it differently because of their different ages and genders. Aggression is often a sign of fear - sounds to me like a frightened little boy in there somewhere.
Angharad
Angharad
Family
One way or another Family can be great and they can be a pain. There's no way around it. Maybe it's more of an issue with him and your Mom more then you. Maybe he was doing something that he was doing something that need to be finished with out any interuptions. It is to hard to say for sure. Maybe he does need to be out on his own or maybe needs time away from your Mother. The best way to find out is to talk to him about it.
Yours Truly
Arina