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I think I probably shook my Dad today. I finally told him that I have wanted to transition since high school in the mid 70's, and thanks to an analogy by Heather Rose Brown, I think he understands. I used the shoe analogy from "Shoes", the one where you put your right foot in your left shoe, and vice versa, then try to walk. It was great to finally be able to explain how I have felt all my life in a way he understood. Thank you Heather!
Comments
So glad
Be happy.
Sounds trite,but what else can anyone say?
so....be HAPPY. Smile at us all later when you are ready
I'm both
happy and proud of you. It couldn't have been easy either. It's funny how some quote so simple is so profound.
Bailey Summers
congrats
You should be proud of yourself, that took guts. I am glad it seems to have worked out.
Out and proud
ALISON
' to borrow a phrase.Well done,Wren,may your path be smooth as silk as you proceed on your way and may happiness prevail.
Much love to you, 'Little One' .
ALISON
What a Blessing
That must have been a tremendous blessing to you and a time of wonder for you and your Dad. I never told my Dad, he passed away before I decided to transition. I'm not sure I could have ...
Beth
Every journey
starts with the first step.
May your shoes always be on the right feet.
Angharad
Angharad
Congratulations.
Well your journey has reached a new stage. The physical aspects are now beginning to run parrallel with the mental aspects. That's an important step to start the next chapter of your life.
Congratulations on being bold and also honest with your dad. I sincerly hope he understands or perhaps more importantly, accepts you for who you truly are.
Good luck on your journey and as Angharad said, 'May your shoes always fit from now on.'
Now I'm off to read Heather's story about shoes. It must be good to have influenced you so much.
Beverly.
Personally...
Personally, I never really liked or appreciated the shoe analogy for several reasons...
1) since it's something "you put on and take off" it's not really part of you - so it breaks down some.
2) While - it's like a shell - the outside that's not right, it really doesn't come at the point that who you are is the same, even if you change the covering a bit.
But, I keep coming back to "you put your shoes on the wrong feet"... With trans - it's NOT something we do to ourselves. It just IS, and we're trying to live our lives.
The analogy I've used, which seems to work well for many people is handedness... In my parent's generation, it was COMMON for left handed kids to be FORCED to write and do other things RIGHT handed. Look around, in general tools are designed for the right handed person. Long hand (printed or cursive) text is written in a way that works for a right handed person (at least western languages) but requires a left handed person to hold their hand in an awkward position in order to write without smudging the result. (Okay - perhaps Hebrew and other right to left languages were "invented" by lefties... But, there right handed kids have the same problem.)
But left handedness is inherent in the person - and just looking at the person you may not be able to tell. Just so our inherent gender is part of who we are.
The people that "get it" from this analogy seem to really "get" it... And, lefties are more likely to get it than righties... But either understand how it can be that nobody else can tell them that they are left handed or right handed. That knowledge is inside them.
Annette
P.S. I know this is an old blog, but I saw it in a "similar" section and the title got me and I couldn't resist - the shoe analogy being one of my pet peeves.
P.P.S. I do hope things have worked out well for you!
left-right
agreed. The standard phrase I give back to the 'when did you know" question has always been 'When did you know you were right-handed?"