Holly's maid/maid - Chapter 2 thru 4

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Chapter 2

"Well, I wasn't born with a silver spoon in my mouth either," she smiled, as she put the box down. "Moved up the hard way?" I questioned? "Yes and no," she smiled. "My parents were dirt poor and pretty much still are. I got a college grant ‘cause my grades were good and I used that to get myself into medical school. From there I interned at a very large city hospital ER room, and from there I came here and started doing what I really like." "And that is?" I asked. "Plastic surgeon and gender dysphoria work." "Sounds complicated," I replied. "I'm not even sure what it means," I smiled.

I pretty well had my living quarters squared away when Holly started asking more personal questions. "Any girlfriends I should know about, just in case I see another new face", she added. "No,...... not really. I don't have much of a social life for reasons you can easily see." "The scar?" she questioned. "Yes," I replied blankly. "I doubt a woman has ever even given me a second look." "Well, it is rather ugly, but I could fix it so you would never know it was there." "Right........ and Elvis was taken by a UFO," I replied. "Really. I could fix that in one operation," she insisted.

"I have asked several doctors about getting something done and they all said since it happened so long ago it's not likely that it will ever go away or even be fixable. And besides that, how would I pay the bill?" "Well, think about it at least and I assure you I can fix it or my name isn't Holly Parker."

She left me after that as I had to shower and get ready for my night job. The scar was ugly and started just below my ear and went straight to the corner of my mouth. It was about a quarter inch wide and I got it in the car wreck that killed my parents. There was no nerve damage and I guess that was a good thing, but I was never a hit with the ladies, if you know what I mean. I did a quick inventory of the kitchen before I left and it was pretty obvious Holly needed everything in the way of food, that is.

Grace let me in the back door at the store as soon as I hit the call button. Grace was very pretty and probably the only female that didn't seem bothered by the scar across my face. She knew how it got there and told me she felt sad for me a time or two. We often had a late dinner together and she was about the closest thing I had to a female that I considered a friend. I told her about meeting Holly and how I had a place of my own now, as well as a car. She was very happy for me and said I should make the best of it.

I didn't go home that night, as I often took a nap in the storeroom, then went to my day job from the store. Bobby started right in on me as soon as I got there about quitting. "You're the best manager I have had in quite some time. You handle the orders for supplies, the books balance at the end of the month. All the other employees like working for you. Please don't quit." On and on he went for the whole two weeks. I was never so glad to see the last day at that place.

I began in earnest after that to make Holly's house into a home. I cut the grass every Friday and did some kind of cleaning inside almost ever day. The pool was cleaned now so I kept the chemicals balanced so the water was clean and clear. Holly never worked on Sunday and was off about every other Saturday. The store was closed on the weekends so I was off as well and that was about the only time we saw each other, unless she came home in time for dinner.

It was early one Saturday, while I was cleaning the ground floor, that Holly came down in just her robe. I had already had breakfast and told her I had fixed her a plate, as well. It was in the microwave. All she had to do was warm it up. "Don't you ever rest?" she asked, as I placed the plate in front of her. "Just trying to earn my keep," I stated. "I've done some kind of work all my life." "The place doesn't have to be white glove all the time," she smiled. "Just the same," I spoke softly. "You never know when the snobs might stop by and I would rather it was."
"You have been here two months now and the place has never been cleaner or looked better. Your place with me is safe. You don't have to keep it spotless."

I took her plate as soon as she finished eating. I dumped the crumbs in the disposal and put the plate in the dishwasher. I filled her coffee cup and started to vacuum again. When I put the vacuum away, she called me from the dinning room. I hurried to see what she needed. "Have a seat." She pushed the chair out with her foot. "I still have three more rooms to clean. Is this going to take long?" "No..... and no more cleaning today.....period.......end of story." "Okay", I replied softly. "Did I do something wrong?" I asked.

"No, you have done everything right. You have cleaned and dusted every room in the house. Hell, you even clean my bathroom and wash all the linen. I do have one question," she added. I didn't answer. I just waited to hear the rest. "You never seem to make it to my bedroom. "Is there a reason for that?" "You never come to the basement or invade my privacy, so I was giving you the same respect. I will gladly clean your room, as well, but only if I have your permission. When you gave me the tour, it didn't include your bedroom so I assumed it was off limits. Women it seems to me like their privacy."

She took me by the hand and led me to her bedroom. It looked like a federal disaster zone and I suspect that was why it wasn't included on the first tour. "Now, anytime you need to you have my permission to come in my bedroom even if I am here. I would prefer that you knock, just in case I'm not dressed. You seem to do real well with the other laundry. Do you know how to handle delicate's? "Yes, my first foster mom made sure of that." ‘You were in foster care?" She looked at me puzzled. "Yes," I replied, ‘and was till the very day I moved in here." She got an emergency call from the hospital about that time and had to leave right away. "No more work today," she ordered before she left. You have today off."

As much as I would have loved to take the day off, after seeing her room there was no way I could. I can't stand clutter and her room was a poster child for it. It had to be cleaned and the sooner the better. I walked her to the car and waited till she was out of sight. I immediately went to her room and basically took it apart.

I sorted her dirty clothes and started the first load. Then I surveyed the room looking for some way to organize it. The two walk-in closets would come in handy and with the huge bedroom suite there was plenty of drawers for the other stuff. I decided that one should be for work and casual clothes and the other for dress and formal things. The first load of clothes were done by the time I had sorted the first closet. I put those in the dryer and started another figuring about three loads would get the job done.

There was a mountain of formal and dress clothes on the bed and I sorted them by putting dresses and skirts on one side and slacks and blouses on the other. She had a ton of shoes and more high heels than any woman I had known. Many of them were scuffed so I lined the bottom of the closet with them, as I polished and removed the scuffs, as well. I folded the first load of clothes putting them on the bed for the time being. I had already changed the bed linen and made it for her, as well as dusting and vacuuming the floor.

Her chest of drawers, as well as her dresser, were as big a mess, as the rest of the room. I dumped it all on the bed and started over. I filled two drawers with nothing but panties. Then another two with bras and half slips. Stockings and garter belts found their own drawer and then I moved onto less delicate things. Socks, pajama's, and the likes went in the dresser. Her robe, as well as her sleep sets, got washed just for the sake of it and they were put away, as well.

Last, but not least, I cleaned her bathroom and polished everything that needed it. I even cleaned and polished the ceiling fan that had a good inch of dust on the blades. I had started this project just after noon and now it was almost 5: 30. Holly should be back soon, I thought, so I headed for the kitchen to make a nice dinner.

I was satisfied when I left her room that I had done a good job. It was clean and neat and sparkled like a new coin when I turned out the light. I had steaks and potatoes on the grill and was fixing us both a salad when she called. She was on her way home and would be here in about ten minutes. I told her dinner was almost ready and I would see her then.

I had just set the table when she walked in and she stopped long enough to tell me dinner smelled good. So I told her to have a seat, if she wanted it hot. What she wanted was a hot shower, but she decided it could wait till after she ate. "I gave you the day off, but it looks to me like you have been very busy." "Just the normal stuff," I replied, as I put the food on the table. "Tomorrow we're both taking the day off, and that's final. If you even think about work, I'll throw you in the pool," she smiled.

She finished her dinner long before I did and said it was great. "I'm going to take a shower and change clothes then, well, watch a movie or something." I finished eating and cleaned up the kitchen. I had just put the last plate in the dishwasher when I heard the door bell. "Coming," Holly shouted, as she bounced down the stairs. "Hi Cathy", Holly greeted the person at the door. I made a quick exit waiting till Holly took her guest to the living room. I took the back way to the basement. I hoped she hadn't seen me, as it might have looked bad for Holly having a man in the house, as it were.

Cathy had on of those voices that carried very good. It was hard not to hear almost every word she said. Although, I didn't always hear Holly's reply. There was a few minutes of small talk before Cathy noticed how clean the house was. "You must have gotten a maid," Cathy asserted. "Yes, I did," Holly replied. "And I have never been so thankful. This place is so clean now." "She does good work," Cathy stated. "I don't ever recall this place looking so good. Is she full-time," Cathy asked? "No, just part-time," Holly replied, "but I assure you the whole house is spotless.

Chapter 3

I was eyeball deep in my accounting software, justifying my bank statement, when Holly knocked on my door. "Sorry about that. I wasn't expecting Cathy to drop by tonight." "It's okay. I needed to balance my checkbook anyway." "I guess you know your work told on you," she smiled. "Yes, I heard and Cathy thinks I'm a she or a female, if I heard her correct." "Well, most maids are female and I couldn't very well tell her otherwise unless I told her who you were." "True," I shot back. "And thanks for not telling her," I smiled. "Thank me later. Cathy is pretty persistent. And besides, good maids are few and far between. I suspect if you were a female you could make a small fortune with your skills," she added.

I stood up and took off my t-shirt so Holly could see that the scar on my face wasn't the only one. She just stood with her mouth open as she saw the reason I was working so hard. "It would take a small fortune to fix all this," I spoke softly, "and right now I have maybe a third of what the doctors tell me it will take. "My god, Jimmy, how did this happen?" she spoke, catching her breath. "I had a perfect X burnt into my skin from each shoulder down to my stomach. I was in a child's safety seat when my dad wrecked the car. It killed mom and dad instantly. I was thrown through the windshield cutting my face on the glass. The belts that kept me in the seat caught on fire with the car. Rather, I should say, they melted into my skin." "So you have been this way practically all your life!" "Yes, and now you know why I work so hard."

Holly turned on her heels and left. I was a bit rude, I guess, but being around people with lots of money often brought out the worst in me. I was sure that Holly was right. Most of the scars I had could be fixed or hidden in some way, but try getting some high priced plastic surgeon to talk to you once they know you're basically an orphan with no money. My dad came from a wealthy family and I know he and mom had plenty of money. I had often wondered why I never got the insurance money when they were killed. I know they had insurance.

My eighteenth birthday had come and gone before I ever found out about the freedom of information act. Being an orphan and going through the foster care system like I had. The first thing they do is seal all your records. While I knew some of what I wanted to know, most of it was bits and pieces. Nothing solid, nothing I could take before a judge and claim foul play. I decided to use the freedom of information act in a way it was never intended.

I did take that Sunday off and to me it was worth it. In fact, I almost went into shock when Holly came to the patio and jumped in the pool completely naked. She swam a couple of laps, then dried off and stretched out on the lounge chair. Her body was as beautiful as her face. Her long blonde hair made her look like a real California girl. Her breasts and hips were perfection with a smooth tapered torso and not a single hair on her body. Not even around her vagina. I watched as she covered her body in tanning oil or at least all of she could reach. I stared for most of an hour as she lay face up getting the full noon day sun.

When she turned over face down, I made my way out to the pool. I didn't ask, I just picked up the tanning oil and started to rub down her back, as well as her back side. She never moved or acted modest about what I was doing so I covered her body top to bottom with oil. "Join me?" she asked, when I put the oil down. "Nobody wants to see this body nude," I smiled, and she knew what I meant. "On the other hand," I added, "you have a great body and I'm glad you're proud enough to show it off." "You will, too, and sooner than you think." "What?" I sputtered.

"I made some calls after I left you last night." "And?" "I got three of my co- workers to donate their services. The clinic might not be so gracious and I suspect they will want something for using their facilities. But those scars are history if you'll trust me to do it. Trust you," I looked into her steel blue eyes. "This is the closest thing I have had to a normal life. Why shouldn't I trust you?" "Well, just don't expect miracles. It's not like you're a muscle bound he-man and I doubt you ever will be," she added. She didn't know how right she was, but she was sure to find out.

Monday, Wednesday, and Friday Holly worked at the clinic six to midnight. So I wasn't completely surprised when she called me on Monday around six and asked me to come down. I took a shower and put on my best clothes and headed off to see what would happen.

I was there by six thirty and Holly took me back as soon as I arrived. I reminded her I had to be at work by nine. "Undress, if you will, and I'll be right back," she smiled as she left the room. I took off my shirt and sat on the exam bed and waited for several minutes. When she came back she had another woman with her and a really big man. "Dr. Kline," she pointed to the lady, "and Dr. Peters," she pointed to the man. "James Dolan," I stuck out my hand.

"So this is your housekeeper?" Dr. Kline spoke first. "Yes, Holly," replied, "and a fine young man." "Those are mighty tough looking scars," Dr. Peters spoke next. "Yes, sir," I replied, "I have had them since I was two. I was in a pretty bad car wreck." "Is this all?" Dr. Kline asked. "Not really," I replied with head down. "I take it your genitalia were damaged, as well." "Yes, and it's pretty ugly, Ma'am." "Well, lets see." "If we're going to fix you up, we might as well do it all," Dr. Peters added.

The second I dropped my shorts it was obvious I had no balls. "They were crushed by the safety belt," I told them before they had the chance to ask. "This is all wrong," Dr Kline spoke up. "They should have made you a girl when this happened." "What the hell were they thinking?" Dr. Peters chimed in. "At least you could have sex if they had done their job. "My parents were killed and my relatives wouldn't claim me so they just sewed me up and put me in foster care," I spoke softly. "Do you have any records," Dr. Kline asked? "They're all sealed, but I'm working on that," I added.

"You can get dressed." Holly spoke up for the first time and I was glad she did. She could tell I was very uneasy about being seen in the nude. The other doctors left us and Holly apologized for Dr. Kline being so blunt. "Well, I'm not a girl and doubt I ever will be, but I'm not a muscle bound man either. I would be happy to just not have all the scars." "Soon enough," she smiled. "Now, off you go."

I headed for work, but stopped at a soda shop where some of the guys from the car wash liked to hang out. They spotted me two steps in the door and we talked for while. Nothing had changed much since I left and Bobby, the owner, was still doing his slave driver bit. Of course, they thought Holly was a love interest for me and I didn't lie about it. I just didn't tell them I was her maid and groundskeeper, either. We all laughed as they chided me about moving up in the world. Then I left and went to the store.

Grace was her usual bundle of joy and greeted me with a smile and a hug. We had a quick cup of coffee and started on the books. We talked, as we worked, and she finally got around to asking me why I had been at the clinic earlier that day. "How did you know I was there?" I asked. "I saw your car and you were walking out just as I came by on my way here," she added. Grace knew the whole story. She had been a friend of my last foster parents and, in truth, that was part of the reason I had the job there.

I told her I had been saving my money for quite some time now and I was getting a checkup. I was also trying to get a doctor to help me out with the scaring left from the accident. "So what did they say?" she asked with some enthusiasm. "Well.... one doctor thinks they should have made me a girl right after the accident." We both busted up laughing, when I told her that. "Another one thinks the scars can easily be fixed, but it will cost me several thousand dollars. And the other one really didn't say all that much, he just kinda looked me over." "Well, I hope they can help you out," Grace added.

Tuesday, when Holly came home, I had dinner on the table. I had gone over the house and her bedroom cleaning and dusting. I did a little laundry and the place looked as good as it had Saturday. As soon as she came in, we sat down to dinner and she was all smiles for some reason. "You seem real happy or amused," I spoke between bits of my food. "Amazed would be more like it," she smiled even more. "By what?" I asked.

"Most men can't even find their way around a kitchen, and fewer can clean a house as well as you," she added. "My third set of foster parents get the credit for that," I smiled. "David and Joyce were their names. Joyce ran a catering business, while her sister ran a maid's service, and the younger sister ran a beauty salon. I got to help all three at one time or another," I added. "So you have worked as a maid before," she smiled. "For most of two years off and on," I added. "Since most maids are female, did this sister make you dress the part?" she asked.

"Oh, yes," I smiled. "And saw to it that I looked just like all her other maids. Pattie ran the beauty salon, so you can imagine most of it, I guess. In reality, I had fake breasts glued on my chest, I got a manicure and pedicure at least once a month. My hair was permed and all my male clothes just up and disappeared one day. I also worked as a server for Joyce's catering business and worked in the salon on weekends." "So you all but lived as a girl for some time?" Holly asked. "Most of two years, but I didn't fit in very well. Nobody ever guessed I was a boy. In fact, more than a few men tried to pick me up. But then my case worker finally decided to check on me and that was the end of that. She almost flipped when she saw me in my maid's uniform. "I should say so," Holly smiled again.

"Did they even pay you at all while you were working for them?" "My pay was my room and board, so I never got paid or not in money anyway." "You have had a tough life, but that is all about to change," she added, as I cleaned the table. "How so?" I asked from the kitchen sink. "Friday you're checking in the clinic and that scar on your face is history," she hugged from behind as she placed her plate in the sink. "And how much is the clinic going to set me back for that?" I asked. "Dr. Peters owns the clinic. As soon as we left the exam room, he told me whatever I needed was free so long as it helped you." "Really....," I tried to sound amazed. "Yes," Holly spoke in one breath. "You finish up here while I take a shower, then we need to talk." "Okay," I smiled. "Talk about what?" "After my shower. It's been a long day," she smiled as she left.

Holly changed the subject offering Cathy some tea. They talked about men for a while and I was pretty sure Cathy was single the way she talked. It was almost 9:OO by the time Cathy left and, thankfully, Holly never gave her my name.

Chapter 4

Holly all but bounced down the stairs with her hair still up in a towel and her bathrobe tied at the waist. "Where do you feel most comfortable talking?" she asked, as I came from the kitchen. "My room I pointed to the stairs. We headed for the basement and she followed me to my bedroom. I had my clothes for work already laid out and I had change pretty soon.

She took the chair at the vanity and took the towel from around her head letting her hair fall straight down. I sat on the edge of the bed and waited to see what she had to say. "I have a confession to make, but hear me out before you make up your mind." "Okay. Sure, why not?" "You know you can never be a real man or a father, don't you?" "I do, but that's not news to me." "Well, here's the news. I want to make you a real woman. I want to give you breasts, real ones. I want to remove all the scars and give you a beautiful vagina just like mine. I want to make you so pretty men will fall at your feet just to get your attention." "That's not likely gonna happen. It's been tried before," I spoke softly, as I picked up the blow dryer and brush.

I turned Holly's chair to face the mirror and started to gently brush her hair as I blew it dry on a low heat setting. "What?" she asked in a curt tone. "You think I can't do it?" "Oh, I'm sure you can make me into a girl, but so pretty that men just fall at my feet.....I rather doubt that. You have a beautiful head of hair," I told her, as I looked for the curling iron. "Here's the thing," she said, as I placed her hand in a warm bowl of water. "Nails first." "You're eighteen now, so in order for me to do the work I want, you have to sign the paper I put on the table." "I couldn't find the iron so I plugged in the hot rollers." "What are you doing?" she stopped in mid- sentence.

"I'm fixing your hair and giving you a manicure. Is there something wrong with that?" I asked. "Not if you know what you're doing," she smiled. "I think I can manage," I smiled, as I trimmed a few split ends from the shorter hair in the front. "So you're willing to sign the paper?" She went back to the reason for our chat. "I see no reason not to," I smiled, as I placed the first roller in her hair.

I dipped my hand in the setting gel as I placed each roller just like I had been taught. "It will take several operations to do the job," she continued, as I worked on rolling her hair. "I want to fix your face and nose first and see how they heal up." "And then what?" I asked, as I placed yet another roller. "Then we'll remove your body hair over a period of time so you never have to shave." "Like you did yours," I replied, as I placed the dryer cap over her head. "Well, yes," she smiled, as I turned on the dryer and started on her nails.

I heaved the big black case up on the vanity and opened it to get an orange stick. "Pick a color." I pointed to the rainbow of colored polish. "Do you ever stop working?" she asked. "Not since I was twelve," I replied, as I started on the hand she had soaked and placed the other in the bowl. "You're taking all this information as if it was casual, and I'm talking about a whole life change." "I've been a girl before so it's not that big a deal," I replied, as I took the emery board to her nails. "True, but then it was all fake," Holly replied, as I shaped her nails. "I don't fit in with men, like I am now, and I doubt I'll fit in with the girls when you're done. So either way it's not a big deal."

I applied a clear base coat to the hand I had just finished, then checked her hair and started on the other hand. "Believe me, when I'm done with you, you will fit in with the girls and you'll have to fight off the men." "If you say so," I smiled, as I worked on her other hand. "Have you picked a color?" I asked. She picked a soft pink with a metallic look and I applauded her choice. I finished her other hand and applied the base coat, then started to paint the first hand in smooth even strokes. I did the other hand as soon as the base coat was dry and started her pedicure. Her toenails were in good shape so it went pretty fast and soon she had the same polish on all her nails.

"What are.....you doing?" she asked, again, as I set up my airbrush system. "Making you even more beautiful than you are." "How about a nice golden tan the easy way," I smiled. "You're going to paint on my tan?" she scoffed. "Sure, why not?? "This I got to see," she smiled, as I mixed the liquid for her tan. I took off the dryer cap and asked her to take off her robe. Her nails were still a bit wet so she let me do it. I opened the sliding glass doors and had her stand on the patio with her legs apart just a little. "With or without the tan line?" I asked. "Without, of course. You know I lay out in the nude." "Just asking," I smiled, as I started to spray her body.

Her skin was almost flawless and smooth as polished glass. I knew her tan would look great when I was done. I placed my finger along the length of her vagina lips so as not to spray tan on the inside of her lips. I half expected her to pull away with my hand so close to her vagina, but she stood very still. The liquid dried almost as soon as it hit her skin and the more I worked the more her golden tan began to emerge. I took great care to outline her nipples, as they don't really tan that well even in the sun, and I wanted it to look natural.

I asked her to wait a few minutes for her tan to dry before she sat back down. I knew she wanted to talk some more about all the operations she had planned for me, but right now I wanted her to be as beautiful as I could make her. Once she was completely dry, I sat her down and added another coat of polish to her nails. While they were drying, I started on her hair. I removed the roller and fluffed the curls with a vented brush, then started to pull all of it up on the crown of her head. I held it in place with a pink band that matched her nails, then brought one curl down in front of each ear.

I took her robe and towel, then led her up to her bedroom. I had cleaned and arranged her room, so I knew where everything was. "What are you doing?" she asked, again. "Just play along," I smiled. I went straight to her dresser and got out her corset. It was a sturdy garment, but I was gentle when I pulled the lacing tight. It fit from just under her breast to just over her hips and gave her a really great shape. I got her nude stockings and rolled one up each leg attaching them to the base of the corset. Her best satin pink panties and matching bra was next. I had to look through her closet a minute, but I found the pink sheath dress that I knew would look great.

I was short, almost a mini, and I got her open toed pink high heels to match. I guessed they were a four inch heel and I slipped them on her feet and closed the ankle strap. I placed a gold necklace around her neck and dug out some rings for her fingers. I put in her biggest gold hoops for her earrings, then zipped the dress closed for her. I offered her the chair at her vanity and started on her makeup. Less is always better, but I really wanted her to look good tonight. I put on a light coat of liquid foundation, then added a light powder for that, oh so smooth look. I outlined her eyes in a dark eyeliner for affect then used a soft coral pink eye shadow, which I applied with a brush. I went easy on the mascara, as her lashes were already long and beautiful.

"Done....," I stated, as I looked at my watch. I led her to the full mirror on the other side of the room and watched as her jaw almost hit the floor. "Okay, so I look like a million bucks. So what's this all about?" "You should check your messages more often." I pointed at the light blinking on the phone. She hit the play button and it was Cathy reminding her that it was girl's night and they were coming over around seven or so. " Oh, shit, I got ten minutes to get ready." "Already done," I replied with a smile. "You look great and the snacks, along with the champagne, are on the table."

"Now, if you don't mind, I have a job to go to." "You knew!" she all but shouted. "You knew they were coming. So this is why you made me look so good." "They may be wealthy snobs, but none of them will look as good as you do, or at least not tonight," I shot back. Holly grabbed my face and planted a kiss right on my lips. "You are so great. I will make this up to you, I promise. I'm not sure how, but I will, I assure you,"she smiled, as she turned me loose.

I had just changed clothes and was about to leave when Grace called. It had been a really light day at the store and she gave me the night off saying she could handle it tonight by herself. I told her thanks and settled in to watch some t.v. I wished she had called earlier. I could have taken more time getting Holly ready. I just hoped she look as good as I thought she did.

I kept the t.v. turned down pretty low. I didn't want Holly's friends to know she had somebody living in her basement. And it wasn't like she was going to show me off to her friends with this big scar across my face. Her friends arrived right on time and I listened to them all give Holly great praise on how good she looked. The snacks were a big hit and the champagne seemed to be gone in no time. I snuck out the back door and made my way to the kitchen and took out another bottle placing it in the ice bucket while they were busy talking. Nobody, including Holly, knew I did it. Of course, it didn't just appear out of thin air, but Holly thought I was at work, so who knows what she really thought.

The party broke up around midnight and all the girls pumped Holly endlessly to tell them who had done her up for the party. To her credit she never said my name, but she did tell them it was a close friend and that made me feel pretty good. The week went on pretty normal after that. While I never answered Holly's phone, I did hear most of her messages. All the girls at the party had called and promised to never tell if she would tell them which salon had fixed her up on Tuesday night. Holly just smiled each time she got the messages. You're secret is safe with me, she told me once.

I checked in the clinic early on Friday and was ready when Holly got there. She told me I would sleep through the night and she would come get me on Saturday by lunch time. That was the last thing I remembered till I awoke Saturday morning feeling like I had been hit by a truck. It felt far worse than any hangover I had ever had and I felt almost sick to my stomach. As soon as Holly got there, she gave me some pain med's and checked me out.

"You can recover at home," she stated. "It's the least I can do after Tuesday night." "It was nothing," I replied with my speech a little slurred. "Well, it meant a lot to me so plan on being pampered for a few days, at least." True to her word she treated me like I had paid in full for her services. She fed me and bathed me just like I was her own child. And changed my bandages twice a day.

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Question

This is a quote from the end of chapter 3. I think something got lost or rearranged in cut and paste?..... Peters owns the clinic. As soon as we left the exam room, he told me whatever I needed was free so long as it helped you." "Really....," I tried to sound amazed. "Yes," Holly spoke in one breath. "You finish up here while I take a shower, then we need to talk." "Okay," I smiled. "Talk about what?" "After my shower. It's been a long day," she smiled as she left.

Holly changed the subject offering Cathy some tea. They talked about men for a while and I was pretty sure Cathy was single the way she talked. It was almost 9:OO by the time Cathy left and, thankfully, Holly never gave her my name.

Chapter 4

another question

The story plot is interesting, so far. But it seems that toward the end of chapter 3, it gtes a bit choppy, and 4, while good, seems rather disjointed and appears out of the blue. Maybe a bit more background or fill-in so it develops better and flows more naturally?

Interesting Story

Its getting interesting. I suppose we can expect
a change in teams. Our heroine should have no
problems accepting her female gender. She has
prior experience dressing as a female. Will she
have a love interest. Will it be a boy or will it
be Holly. Holly seems to have grown found of her
and feels comfortable with her in the nude.

Kaptin Nibbles

I like

the fact that this hasn't turned into a forced fem story. I like the plot and can identify with Jimmy on the shitty job front at least as some one who's done those kinds of jobs I felt it.
Keep up the good work, it's nice to see another new writer.

Bailey Summers

Holly's Made/Maid

This is a very good story to be coming from a new author. The plot moves along quite well and is believable. A lot of us out here are waiting to see the next chapter. Keep writing, and thank you for sharing.
Avid Reader

Many thanks

Stacy is right and I didn't catch that "sorry"... Not sure what the heck happen to the indents for the paragraphs either but I will figure it out sooner later..... Story is finished in the next post Happy Reading ..Joe

Thanks BC....hope I got it right this time...lol

Indents

erin's picture

Paragraph indents are ignored by HTML. They aren't very effective for marking new paragraphs online anyway, people's eyes need the clue of a blank line instead. Just as television has different conventions than movies, so online writing has different conventions than writing for print.

Hugs,
Erin

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

A suggestion:

These chapters, while entertaining, are hard to read with all the action, dialogue and time shifts shoved into the same paragraph. My suggestion is to do the paragraphs topicly, meaning that you have one topic for the paragraph, stick to that and start a new paragraph when a new topic comes. That includes when you change speakers.

So instead of: "I was eyeball deep in my accounting software, justifying my bank statement, when Holly knocked on my door. "Sorry about that. I wasn't expecting Cathy to drop by tonight." "It's okay. I needed to balance my checkbook anyway." "I guess you know your work told on you," she smiled. "Yes, I heard and Cathy thinks I'm a she or a female, if I heard her correct." "Well, most maids are female and I couldn't very well tell her otherwise unless I told her who you were." "True," I shot back. "And thanks for not telling her," I smiled. "Thank me later. Cathy is pretty persistent. And besides, good maids are few and far between. I suspect if you were a female you could make a small fortune with your skills," she added."

You get:

I was eyeball deep in my accounting software, justifying my bank statement, when Holly knocked on my door.

"Sorry about that," she said. "I wasn't expecting Cathy to drop by tonight."

"It's okay. I needed to balance my checkbook anyway."

"I guess you know your work told on you," she smiled.

"Yes, I heard and Cathy thinks I'm a she or a female, if I heard her correct."

"Well, most maids are female and I couldn't very well tell her otherwise unless I told her who you were."

"True," I shot back. "And thanks for not telling her," I smiled.

"Thank me later. Cathy is pretty persistent. And besides, good maids are few and far between. I suspect if you were a female you could make a small fortune with your skills," she added.

...all of which makes it much easier to read.

Also you are tending to drop the closing quotes on dialogue, so it's difficult to see where the talking ends.

But I really AM enjoying the story so far. I'm also wishing that I could find someone like Holly to take care of me. ;-)
----
May the Stars Light Your Path
Maid Joy
http://i-know-i-know-but.net/

I just caught

something that might be part of it. This quote Holly changed the subject offering Cathy some tea. They talked about men for a while and I was pretty sure Cathy was single the way she talked. It was almost 9:OO by the time Cathy left and, thankfully, Holly never gave her my name.

Chapter 4
Unquote
These lines seem to fit back at the end of chapter 2/start of three. Then it kind of makes sense to have them there. Probably had the curser in the wrong place when copy/paste hit.

Chapter 4 still seems kind of jumpy like parts of it are missing (To me at least). I am not knocking the story or the author, just trying to figure it out. It was flowing along quite nicely then bang.

Holly's maid/maid - Chapter 2 thru 4

It's evident that Holly oves him/her and wants only the best for her new friend. I just hope that Holly can help to right the wrong done to hin/her.

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine
    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

They say

That there are girls who become maids just to have live-size dress-up dolls to play with! (Courtesy of Kaho's A Little Fox Tale character)

And here it is definitely proven! :)

Faraway


On rights of free advertisement:
Big Closet Top Shelf

Where you can fool around like you want to and most you get is some bemused good ribbing!

Faraway


On rights of free advertisement:
Big Closet Top Shelf

Where you can fool around like you want to and most you get is some bemused good ribbing!