Our stay in New York lasted a little longer than Grandmama planned.

The U.S. Senate opened hearings on the sinking just a day after we arrived. Because of Grandmama's position, she was among the passengers asked to testify.

She didn't seem to mind, really. She felt it her patriotic duty.

She also gave interviews to the New York and Philadelphia newspapers, so "maybe we can have a little peace," she told Rachel and me.

She wasn't asked about me during the hearing, didn't even bring me up.

She was asked about what she remembered about the sinking, and the conduct of the crew from what she observed.

She also did not tell any of the newspapers about me.

"We don't need to draw attention to you," she said. "We don't want to raise suspicion."

Rachel and I didn't mind the extra days in New York. We ran ol' Henry Hobbes ragged carrying us to museums, the zoo, the art galleries and Central Park.

Rachel really wanted to show me the "Big City" since the only other time I'd been there was to board the Mauretania on the way to Europe.

Each night, Grandmama would read us the latest on the stories coming from the sinking. She was right, almost as much written about the sinking was false, as they reported what was true.

She was also right that they chose to make villians and cowards of some of the people who survived the sinking.

The man most villified was Mr. Ismay.

"I don't really know if he acted honorably, or not," Grandmama said. "But he can't be as awful as he's portrayed. I have the feeling that if he had saved a hundred people that night, people would still hate him because he didn't go down with the ship like poor Captain Smith."

Captain Smith was still the man Grandmama held responsible for the sinking. She told us she heard he had warnings about the ice.

"But the old soul just kept on going," she said. "It wouldn't have hurt us to have stopped one night. But he went down with the ship...so we shouldn't speak ill of him."

But the press wanted someone to blame. If it wasn't Mr. Ismay, it was Capt. Lord of the Californian.

Members of his crew testified in the hearing that they saw the lights of a ship that may have been the Titanic. They also claimed to have seen rockets being fired from the ship about the same time they were fired from the Titanic.

And some of the passengers, including Grandmama and Rachel, said they saw a light coming from what may have been a ship on the horizon before they stumbled across me heading to the lifeboats.

"And people believe that was the Californian," Grandmama said. "They believe the Californian was close enough to have saved us all."

The press didn't stop there. As Grandmama said, they loved a good scandal.

Mrs. Brown, the one we knew as Molly, was portrayed to be a hero. And from what we knew, she was.

But a poor man named Sir Cosmo Duff-Gordan was portrayed as a selfish coward because he and his wife escaped on a lifeboat containing only 11 people.

Rumor had it, he bribed members of the crew on the boat not to go back looking for survivors.

"Whether that's true or not, he may be a ruined man," Grandmama told us.

She didn't tell us about other accounts in the newspapers. She tried to hide them from us.

They were about men who supposedly were able to get on lifeboats because they were dressed as women. Rachel found a couple of the newspapers in the garbage can.

Mr. Ismay was one of the ones who was accused of it, but it turned out to be only a scarf he was given that he wore on his head to keep warm. An Irishman from steerage wore a shawl a caring woman gave him as he rowed, but a crewman identified him as a man who wore women's clothes to get on board a lifeboat.

He disputed that account at the hearing.

"Just think what will happen if they find out about you," Rachel said.

Our final night in New York, Rachel and I dined with Madeleine Astor, who was also staying at the hotel.

She really seemed to enjoy our company.

She told us the Astor family had treated her quite well since she returned. That included her husband's eldest son, who was older than she was, and his mother, who had tried her best before the sinking to have the young girl portrayed as a "gold digger" as Grandmama put it.

She also took particular interest in me, and wanted to know where I was from, and how I liked living as a girl since the sinking.

I told her about our life back in Lancaster County, about the farm my family had before my father died.

I helped him, despite being as scrawny as I was. But when my father died, my mother and I couldn't really make a go of it.

"An Amish family gave mother a good price," I said, "And we moved to town."

It was because of that we had enough money to go on a vacation in France, which my mother always wanted to see.

*****

It was mid-summer when Henry Hobbes journeyed from Philadelphia to Lancaster. Grandmama was surprised to find out my mother worked at a store that did business with her company.

Mr. Hobbes knew my mother's boss, Samuel Hess.

"Henry, it's a surprise to see you," Mr. Hess said when Mr. Hobbes arrived at his store. "I thought everything was fine with our order. We're expecting the furniture here next week."

"Relax, Samuel," Mr. Hobbes replied. "I'm here on personal business for Mrs. Pierpoint."

He was shocked to find out that one of the wealthiest women in Pennsylvania had a matter to discuss with a young, widowed middle class woman struggling to raise two young daughters alone.

"Myra, tell Mary Rhinehart to come up front," Mr. Hess said.

My mother was curious, too, as to why someone the likes of Agnes Pierpoint wanted to talk to her.

"It is about some things that happened on board the Titanic, ma'am," he said. "Mrs. Pierpoint wants you and your girls to come visit her. She will pay for your transportation. She will also compensate you for any missed time at work."

"That will not be necessary, Henry," Mr. Hess said. "Take all of the time you need, Mary. You're my best worker. You won't have to worry about missing pay for taking time off for something like this."

Mr. Hess asked my mother if she knew anything about why Grandmama wanted to see her.

"We were on the Titanic together," my mother said. "But to my knowledge, I've never met her."

*****

I gave Rachel a hug as we sat in the window sill.

"I really don't want you to go," she said, weeping. "But I know you have to. I loved having you here as Leah, but Grandmama says its time you get to living as Michael again, time for you to go back to your family."

I nodded. I had mixed emotions.

I had almost felt like I had said goodbye to being Michael when I changed into Rachel's clothes aboard the Titanic. Now it seemed like I was saying goodbye to Leah as I prepared to return to being Michael.

I mean, I was always Michael. But a part of me would always be Leah, too. Not Leah the child who died in a train wreck, but the Leah I was in the lifeboat, aboard the Carpathia, in New York and in the last few months in Philadelphia.

"You will always be part of this family," Grandmama said. "You can visit Rachel and I as much as you like."

"And I'd like to come to see you in Lancaster, even if you are really a boy," Rachel said.

"I'd like that," I said. "I want to come visit."

Just as I had missed my mother and sisters, I was really beginning to mourn the loss of my relationship to Rachel and Grandmama.

And part of me wasn't really ready to let go to being Leah.

But I changed into the nice suit Henry Hobbes picked out for me and sat in the window sill with Rachel and watched as my mother arrived with my sisters.

I burst into tears. It was the first time I'd seen them since we were aboard the Carpathia. Rachel grabbed a hold of me and wept, too.

*****

Grandmama welcomed my mother into the house and took her to the parlor.

She asked Margarite, her maid, to take my sisters, Sarah and Elizabeth, to the garden while she and my mother talked.

I was upstairs looking at myself in the mirror. I still had the long hair I had grown as Leah, but I was wearing boys' clothes for the first time since that night on the Titanic.

"You're pretty as a girl," Rachel said. "But I also think you're pretty handsome."

I thanked her. And asked her if I could have a few minutes alone. She agreed and went and sat on the top of the stairs. She heard the conversation between Grandmama and my mother.

"Are you telling me my Michael's alive?" I heard my mother say.

Grandmama told her I was waiting upstairs.

My mother was in a state of shock. Then she wept.

"I really, really do not know what to say," she told Grandmama, "but thank you. This may be the happiest day of my life."

Grandmama told her she had Henry Hobbes buy me a trunk load of clothes to replace the ones I had lost aboard the Titanic.

"They were all that he had," my mother said. "He didn't leave anything back in Lancaster."

She was also stunned when Grandmama told her she had set up a trust fund for me.

"Even though we've known him more as Leah, Michael is still very much a part of this family," she said. "And this is a way for him to always know that."

"I'm sure he'll appreciate it," my mother said.

My mother accepted Grandmama's invitation for us all to have dinner together before we headed back to Lancaster aboard a train.

"Rachel, go get Leah...I mean Michael," Grandmama said. "Tell him his mother is downstairs."

Rachel was surprised when she walked back into the bedroom.

I had taken off the suit and had put on my favorite dress. I was in the process of putting makeup on.

"Don't just stand there, sis!" I said. "Give me that bow and help me fix my hair."

"What's going on?" Rachel asked.

"We're staying for dinner, aren't we?" I asked.

"Yes," Rachel replied.

"I want to stay Leah for a few more hours," I said. "I can change when we get ready to go."

Both mother and Grandmama had the look of surprise when I follwed Rachel down the stairs.

"If I didn't recognize your face, I'd swear you couldn't possibly be Michael," mother said as we embraced.

Suddenly, Sarah and Elizabeth came rushing through the door and joined in the embrace.

"Michael sure is pretty, isn't he mommy?" Sarah said.

"He sure is," my mother replied. "He is the prettiest sight I've ever laid my eyes on."

My mother could not believe how Rachel and I got along at the dinner table.

"It's amazing, you'd swear they really are sisters," she whispered to Grandmama.

"Yes you would," Grandmama said. "Having two girls around this house have really been entertaining."

We told mother about our experiences since Grandmama and Rachel rescued me aboard the Titanic.

The mother told us of their experiences, and how hard it was on them after they returned.

"The whole town of Lancaster came out for your funeral...or Michael's funeral, or at least it seemed that way," my mother said. "There is a marker for you in the family graveyard since the body was never recovered."

The mood around the table got very serious. Mother asked to speak to Grandmama in the parlor.

"What's going to happen when people find out Michael's alive?" my mother asked.

"I've thought about that ever since we were aboard the lifeboat," Grandmama said. "I'm sure it will create a big scandal, although hopefully things have died down some. I'm sure this is something Michael will have to deal with the rest of his life. But we will be by his side. And I keep asking myself every day if keeping Michael as Leah for this long was the right thing to do, if it only put off the inevitable."

"Aggie, don't think about that," my mother said. "My child would be dead if you hadn't of done what you did. I'm forever grateful."

My mother then asked Grandmama a big favor.

"We would love to do that," Grandmama said. "But that is something for you and Michael to decide."

*****

Rachel and Grandmama sat quietly in the parlor as my mother and I discussed my predicament.

"I know being Leah is something that is very important for you," she said.

"I know mother," I said. "But it's going to be hard to see you, Sarah and Elizabeth get back aboard the train for Lancaster without me."

"Oh, my darling, Aggie says we can come to visit you anytime we like," she said. "Think about the other people who have been caught up in scandal and branded cowards because they survived Titanic's sinking. I do not want that for you."

That did make my decision a little easier. But mother said it would be my decision to make, and mine alone.

I looked at myself in the mirror.

"I'm really grateful for what people did for poor Michael in Lancaster," I said. "And I haven't been him since that night aboard Titanic, so maybe he really did die. I'm Leah Pierpoint, a Titanic survivor.