Come Clean - part 2
2nd Song of the Kylie Warren Saga
[Chorus:]
Let the rain fall down
And wake my dreams
Let it wash away
My sanity
'Cause I wanna feel the thunder
I wanna scream
Let the rain fall down
I'm coming clean, I'm coming clean
(Hillary Duff)
Despite several discussions concerning Heath's fears, he and his parents were unable to make any headway. All three were frustrated and dancing around the possibility of seeking professional help. At school, Heath paid more attention to the only other student he knew was without a friend, Kyle Warren. They only shared one class but between lunch and that class, Heath began to feel sorry for Kyle. The morose boy absolutely cut himself off from everyone. Even in the crowded halls with students bumping shoulders, Kyle remained an island in the sea of humanity. Anyone that got near him veered away, not wanting to risk rousing the ire of the intense mute boy. No mattered how much he observed Kyle, he never saw a chink in the invisible wall he'd erected around himself. Compared to Kyle, Heath's situation was a lot better.
Nothing really changed until the November 13th JV championship football game. Keith and Linda sat in the stands with Kathy while Heath sat with band. It was a great game and Heath, heeding his father's admonishment of two weeks before, was doing his best to pay attention to game. The game itself was uninteresting, but Heath was fascinated watching Kyle. When not on the field, the boy sat on the bench with his back towards the field staring at nothing. When on the field, his movements were phenomenal. The boy could turn on a dime, reverse direction, and leap with unbelievable ease, easily shaking off pursuers. The few times he was hit, he simply ignored it. The violent sounds of the blows made Heath wince, yet Kyle never flinched.
Near the end of the game, Kyle ran into the endzone for another touchdown when his obviously frustrated pursuer hit him late. Heath somersaulted over the tackler and thudded into the grass. The sound of the impact made Heath pull his head down and cover it with his arms. Surely Kyle had to be severely hurt by that shot. When he heard the game proceeding he peeked out to see Kyle stoically limping off the field. How had he not been seriously injured? Looking closely, Heath noted Kyle was hurt! Although most of his face remained frozen in its perpetual near scowl, Heath could see Kyle was biting his lips to staunch the pain from overwhelming him. Everyone was so intent on the game no one even checked to see if Kyle was hurt! Was he the only one who realized Kyle had hurt his leg? This angered Heath, with his anger growing each minute Kyle suffered in silence. Just as he was ready to get up and go to Kyle's aid, the band conductor stuck up the band as possession of the ball changed. As Kyle instinctually played he watched Kyle struggling to maintain control. Heath suddenly felt the look on Kyle's face changed a tiny bit, and that change was enough to keep Heath in his seat. After a few plays, Heath just stared in disbelief as the coach ordered Kyle back onto the field!
Kyle didn't say a word as he headed back onto the field. Heath swore he saw a trace of blood glistening on Kyle's lips when he stood and turned to limp back onto the field. The play was quick and brutal. Even with his injured leg Kyle ran and then leapt into the air. Heath heard a piercing high pitched girlish scream when he saw Kyle hit again! What happened next was simply horrible. Kyle was lying on the ground in the endzone having scored the winning touchdown, but his foot was obviously nearly snapped off and blood was spurting! Heath watched in utter horror as Kyle lifted the football in triumph and laughed hideously. Several players got sick at the sight as paramedics and coaches rushed to Kyle's aid. The piercing prolonged gasping scream of horror filled Heath's ears as he was unable to look away. Even when people blocked his view he could still see the horrible image burned into his eyes.
It took three firm slaps in the face before Heath snapped out of the living nightmare. The band director and his family were standing around him with looks of concern upon their faces. Heath realized his father had been the one who slapped him and he saw and heard them talking to him but couldn't fathom what they were saying. He was shaking like a leaf and panting as if he'd just run for miles. The now silenced horrid scream still echoed in his ears. Suddenly he realized he'd been the source of those screams! Guiltily looking about he could see about half the band members were looking at him with confusion while the rest were transfixed gazing upon the scene of Kyle's horrendous injury. Already short of breath and now humiliated to be the unwitting source of the girlish screams, he began to hyper-ventilate.
"Damn it, Heath, sit down," Keith demanded as he grabbed Heath's shoulders and pushed him down to sit on the bleachers. "Put your head between your legs and breath deeply. Get yourself under control!"
Heath heard the rebuking words but realized they were filled with concern. From his seated position he looked up at his parents trying to get his bearings and regain control. "Okay, okay," Heath gasped as his head wobbled about. Then he leaned over putting his head between his knees.
Linda sat beside him and wrapped him protectively in her arms. He could feel her love and fear but the blood now pounding in his ears masked any words. Slowly, he began to regain control. Finally a loud, throbbing sound broke through and he struggled to raise his head. The sight of a medi-vac helicopter settling down on the playing field momentarily surprised him. Once down, the crew headed to the crowd gathered in the endzone. Several people cleared a path through the onlookers and Heath caught a glimpse of Kyle, now limp and unconscious with paramedics tending to him. Totally horrified by the sight he began to tremble but found himself unable to tear his eyes away from the brutal scene.
Keith sat beside his son and added his arms to those of Linda to steady Heath. Both parents realized that the traumatic injury had not just happened on the field, it had happened in the stands too. Both were quite concerned this might be too much for their fragile son to handle.
Heath watched the helicopter lift off and they were all buffeted by the downdraft of the powerful rotors as the air ambulance headed for the hospital by the shortest route, directly over the stands where they sat. Once it had passed over them, Heath pushed himself to his feet and turned to watch the chopper disappear in the distance. Keith and Linda rose with him and held him in reassuring grips. It was only after the chopper was out of sight that Heath sagged against his father. Keith held him upright.
"We'll take Heath directly home," Linda told the concerned band director. "Thank you for your concern and assistance in getting him settled."
"All right," band director Williams said. "He can pick up his things Monday during school."
Linda nodded her appreciation. Kathy carried the flute as Keith assisted a still trembling and weak Heath off the bleachers. Everyone was somber and many were sniffling at the horror they'd witnessed. When the reached their two seated truck, Linda opened the rear door and Kathy scrambled inside and helped maneuver Heath as their father lifted Heath inside. The ride home was made in silence as Kathy held Heath tightly. Linda reached from her front seat to soothingly stroke Heath’s hair.
Heath was confused by his reaction to the events he'd witnessed and absolutely shamed that he'd been the person screaming. Any hopes he had of somehow building up any credulity in school was now totally evaporated. While he knew he hated violence and horror, he was upset that he'd been unable to look away from the gore he'd seen. By the time they reached home, Heath hastily fumbled with his door to get out. Realizing he needed to get out, Linda reached back to open the door. Heath just made it to the grass beside the driveway when he began to heave. Dropping to his hands and knees he felt as if he was throwing up everything he'd eaten in the last week.
Kathy went ahead to open the doors as his parents helped him up and into the house but Heath was dazed by his reaction and inconsolable in his embarrassment. All Keith, Linda and Kathy could do was to reassure him they loved him. At least Heath acknowledged their love and returned it, but little more as he was so lost in remorse he couldn't even pick up his flute.
*****
Sleep did not come easily to Heath that night. The horror he’d witnessed had traumatized him. That the carnage had horrified him was not an issue. His reaction was embarrassing but it was too late to undue the damage. He had no doubt his screams would be the second most talked about event of the day, the first being Kyle’s injury. What really disturbed him was Kyle. Sure he was firmly ensconced in his own world, but why had he gone back onto the field when he’d obviously been injured? Was it machismo? No, to the best of his knowledge, Kyle never did any macho posturing. Was it a desire to be hurt? Possibly, especially considering his hideous laugh after having his foot practically ripped off. But why would anyone WANT to be hurt? More important, how could he laugh and hold the football up after seeing his mangled ankle?
Just the thought of how much that had to hurt took Heath’s breath away. Kyle really had to be head case. But then again, maybe Kyle’s desire to be hurt was some warped self-punishment. He’d heard the term ‘suicide by cop’ on TV where an armed person took actions to force the police to kill them. Maybe Kyle needed the pain to feel alive. While a weird concept, considering how unemotional and severe Kyle always appeared, it might not be too off the mark. How terrible his life had to be to need to set himself up to be hurt. Yet despite the obvious pain he had laughed, granted it was hideous laughter, but none the less laughter. Could the fact he actually felt the pain make him happy simply to feel something? It was all simply too much to comprehend. Kyle was really messed up.
But that left him with his humiliating reaction. One scream may have been accepted simply as part of his school leprosy, but to hysterically scream and scream and scream was unforgivable. A girl who had a crush on Kyle could be excused for such a reaction, but certainly not a boy. That conclusion really scared Heath. Would their fellow students think he had a crush on Kyle? That was absurd! But was it? After all, Heath had spent the last two weeks observing Kyle at every opportunity. Even though Kyle never acknowledged him, Heath had become preoccupied thinking about and trying to analyze him. In fact, he'd just done it again while lying in bed!
Heath tried to stop his disturbing thoughts but was unable to get off the tracks as the speeding train bore down on him. The logical answer was that Heath DID have a crush on Kyle! That meant Heath was gay! Could that be why he was so afraid of people? But that made no sense. He'd always been that way. Two and three year olds had no concept of gay or straight so that couldn't be the cause of his fears. He just never felt right. His home life was wonderful, his parents loved him and supported him. They were the perfect family, but it sure didn't feel perfect to Heath. Sure he loved his parents and sister and was extremely glad they supported him, but he still felt like a square peg being forced into a round hole. Could that be because he was gay? They said being gay was not a choice, gays were born gay. Could his fear of people be caused by that difference? He supposed it could be innate.
Heath had become enthralled by Kyle, but he'd thought it was because they were both loners and he was hoping that by default they might become friends. That made more sense then having a crush on him! Heath wondered if he was sexually attracted to guys? As he thought about the other guys at school, none seemed to have invoked any lust. But then neither had any of the girls. This confused him. Going back over the guys he saw in school who had caught his attention for something other than self-preservation, he realized they were all decent handsome boys blossoming into manhood! There was a sexual attraction! This made him shiver with trepidation. Forcing himself to mentally review the girls who had caught his attention proved equally stunning. They were all quite girlish and it was their clothes and hairstyles that drew his attention! It wasn't the girls themselves, it was their femininity that attracted him! Damn, he was gay!
It felt like Heath was in a violent thunder storm. The rain was falling down in torrents. It seemed to be washing away his carefully crafted but shaky self image. It was quite literally washing away his sanity! But just as suddenly he realized how Kyle had felt when he’d laughed so hideously! He wanted to feel the thunder just like Heath wanted to feel the booming crashes. He wanted to wake his dreams of being normal so badly he’d screamed! Damn, let the rain fall down so he could come clean... come clean to the fact he was gay!
Heath rolled over and buried his face in his pillow as he cried himself to sleep.
*****
It was mid-morning on Sunday when Heath awoke in a soggy bed. Not only had he perspired profusely he had also obviously wet the bed. The fitful sleep had done little to revive his spirits as confusion and fear filled his dreams and nightmares. The worst was that Kyle's head had been ripped off instead of his ankle and his headless body stood in the endzone with the football raised in triumph while his head laying on the ground laughed hideously. As he got out of bed he stripped out of his soggy PJs and then stripped the bed. Now he understood his mother's insistence they keep the waterproof mattress pad on his bed. Bundling everything up he headed to the shower. When he returned to his room, the sour smell of urine filled the air. Dressing quickly, he headed downstairs with the soggy bundle.
Linda was ready to greet him cheerily until she saw the bundle and his forlorn face. "Let me take that," she said as she rushed to him.
"No," Heath solemnly replied. "I'm old enough to be responsible for my own messes. I would appreciate it if you can show me how to wash this."
"Of course," Linda said proud Heath was trying to handle the situation.
Heath listened intently to the instructions, insisting he do the actual work. Once everything was sorted and the first load washing, he followed his mom into the kitchen for a piece of toast and a glass of orange juice. Linda asked if he was up to helping her with some other household chores. The duo worked together, only pausing to take care of his laundry. Heath was glad to have something to keep him busy. The housework was not difficult but required mindless attention to details.
Kathy was surprised to see Heath helping their mother clean. It was something she usually did but Heath was obviously losing himself in the tasks and she wasn’t about to turn down the help. After a quick bowl of cereal, she joined them.
When Keith came in from the garage where he'd been working on restoring a 1956 Ford pick-up. While pleased to see Heath up and working, he'd have been happier if he'd come out to help him in the garage. It didn't take long to see Heath was uncharacteristically somber. The family headed into the kitchen to make lunch. Working together, it only took a few moments to whip up a tossed salad.
The conversation was stilted as Keith, Linda and Kathy tried to involve Heath. It was clear yesterday's events had a tremendous effect on him.
"Heath, thanks to your help we're almost done with the housework," Linda spoke up as the meal wound down. "Kathy and I can easily finish it up but I think your father could use some help in the garage."
"Okay," Heath nodded.
That surprised both parents as Heath had always resisted helping work on the vehicles. Not that he hadn't occasionally been the second set of hands a task sometimes needed, but he'd be gone as soon as the job was done.
Keith was surprised to note Heath was actually listening and seemed to be learning as they worked on the car. Heath even asked appropriate probing questions. Linda quietly peeked out a few times to see how things were going, being pleasantly surprised to see the father and son actually interacting in a positive manner.
When she had supper almost ready, Linda told Kathy to poke her head out the door to tell them dinner would be ready in fifteen minutes. Getting to a place they could stop on the task they were working on, they cleaned up, wiping off the tools before putting them away. After washing the grease off their hands, they headed into the kitchen.
"I might make a grease monkey out of you yet," Keith stated while smiling at his son. "At the least, you'll know enough to keep someone from ripping you off."
"Thanks, dad," Heath replied with a tentative smile. "Working on a car wasn't nearly as bad as I though it was."
Keith smiled wearily and nodded. They'd been working on a truck. "Just keep an open mind. There is very little in life that is as bad as you fear. You've got talented hands and fingers from playing the flute and it translated over into mechanics. You were able to get those nuts started on the frame bolts with very little problems. I'd been frustrated with that task for weeks."
"You're good at explaining things," Heath replied with a genuine smile. "If it's okay, I'd like to learn more."
"Son, you're always welcome to join me or your mom on any task," Keith answered. "You were a big help to both of us."
"I tried," Heath responded. "I embarrassed us all yesterday. It's time I outgrew my problems or at least took responsibility for my actions. I'll never be able to grow up if I don't."
"You'll always have us to support you," Linda smiled proudly.
"Thanks, Mom. Dad, I had a lot of nightmares last night and wet my bed," Heath confessed. "I told mom this morning I was old enough to take care of my messes when I brought my wet bedding down. She showed me how to run the washer and dryer. Then I just kept helping her. I know you were a bit frustrated with me for doing the housework, so when mom suggested I help you I decided to give it my best shot."
"We're proud of you, son," Keith smiled.
Heath took a deep breath and lowered his head deep in thought. Then he raised his head and looked his family in the eye. "Ahh... well... ahh... would you be proud of me if I'm... ahh... g... gay?"
Both parents jerked and caught their breath while Kathy just stared at her brother. "Of course," Linda firmly declared as Keith and then Kathy nodded their agreement. "What makes you think you're gay?"
"The way I reacted yesterday," Heath stated, then waved his parents into silence as they were about to defend his actions. "I had a hard time going to sleep and did a lot of thinking about why I reacted like I did. I realized when I look at guys, I'm checking them out to see how handsome they are. That’s why I get so panicked in the lockerroom."
"That doesn't mean you're gay," Keith said. "I've seen you checking out cute girls."
"Yeah," Heath snorted. "NOT! I was drooling over what they were wearing and their hair styles!"
That stunned both parents. They exchanged looks of surprise and didn't have a retort. They all noted Kathy calmly nodding that she wasn’t surprised with her brother’s observation.
"It's all right," Heath concluded. "Even I never realized that's what I was doing until I thought about it last night. Since I'm such a wuss in gym that I can't even change in front of the guys, I get teased unmercifully and no one has wanted to be my friend for fear they'd be harassed by association. Kyle was the only other guy with no friends but he wouldn't talk to me even when I tried talking to him. For the last two weeks I've been checking out Kyle, trying to figure him out. He's tough and hard, but he's hiding behind that as a defense. He's a loner by choice. During the game I saw he'd been hurt bad by that late hit in the endzone. He limped off the field but I bet he broke his ankle."
"If he'd have broken his ankle he wouldn't have been able to walk," Linda declared.
"You didn't see he was biting his lip to fight back the pain," Heath answered. "I could see blood on his lips when he stood to go back out on the field for that last play. But he went back out. Then he ran on it and made that jump to snag the ball! God he's tough! The pain had to be horrible but he did it because that's the way he is. Heck, you heard him laugh as he held up the football... and that was after he saw his ripped off foot with the blood spurting! He was enjoying the pain! It was something he could finally feel! It broke through the walls he'd erected! That's why I was screaming. I was screaming for him because he couldn't! I... I think I might have a crush on him!" Heath broke down in tears.
Keith and Linda realized what Heath was saying about Kyle was most likely the truth. They also understood that at some fundamental level Heath truly cared for Kyle. After a few moments of exchanged looks of exasperation Linda moved to hug Heath.
"Heath, you are our child and we love you," Keith expounded. "It doesn't matter if you are gay. It doesn't matter if you love Kyle. As long as you are happy, we'll be happy."
The family cleaned up the dishes and headed in to watch the local news. Sitting together on the sofa they braced for the report on Kyle. They showed film of Kyle's last two plays and reported the doctors felt he had indeed broken his ankle in the earlier one but had pushed on to be savaged in the last. They reported he was in a drug induced coma after the twelve hour surgery to re-attach his ankle and repair his collapsed lung and treat his massive concussion. They were not sure if the plucky boy would survive but that the doctors had decided to keep him in a coma for ten days. Heath was once more sobbing as the news report ended as his parents hugged him.
""Heath, I think you should play your flute," Keith advised. "It always relaxes you and we all love to hear you play."
"You can bring it down hear and play it with us," Linda added.
"Okay," Heath agreed sniffing back the last of his tears. It only took him a moment to make the trip up to his room to retrieve his instruments. His soul quickly soared out of the doldrums on the wings of the music. Once more his parents marveled at their son's ability to play such evocative melodies. After half an hour he put down the flute and picked up his alto recorder to play several tunes it. Then he switched to the descant recorder and played a different set of tunes. Then to the surprise of his parents he picked up the alto recorder and placed it in his mouth beside the descant. They were absolutely blown away when he began playing the alto with his left hand while simultaneously playing the descant with his right hand. For the first piece he played melody with the tenor and accompaniment with the alto for ‘This Land Is Your Land’. Despite the two quite distinct fingering patterns he flawlessly played the tune. The next tune he switched to play the melody on the alto and accompaniment on the tenor to play ‘Greensleeves’. Again his playing was flawless.
"My God, that was beautiful," Linda gasped totally blown away.
"Oh yeah," Keith agreed. "If I hadn't seen you play, I wouldn't have believed it was possible!"
Heath blushed and smiled. "I saw James Galway play two instruments at the same time so I decided to try. That’s why I was so insistent about wanting these specific recorders. It was tough at first until I discovered the trick to closing my lips about the two mouth pieces. After that, it was just a matter of practice until I could play different notes on each."
"Heath, don't EVER let anyone tell you only sissies play the flute," Keith declared. “What you lack in sports ability is more than compensated for by your musical talent."
By the time Heath went to bed he was exhausted but feeling much better. The music had once more lifted his spirits. Exhausted by the previous nights unsettling slumber, he fell into a dreamless sleep.
*****
Monday morning the school buzzed with talk about Kyle's hideous injuries. Few were surprised to learn the doctors thought he'd broken his ankle in the second last play yet had played on without comment. The second most popular topic was Heath's hysterical reaction to Kyle's injury. Again those who knew Heath from elementary school assured their junior high classmates they weren't surprised by his breakdown. As he walked through the halls before classes began Heath was embarrassed as the chatter stopped when he was near and those who had been talking just looked at him.
Much to Heath's surprise, Laurie Adams, the ninth grade flutist he'd supplanted as first flute, sought him out at his locker and publicly gave him a hug right in the crowded halls. "Thank you for voicing what many of us felt," she said loud enough to be heard by everyone nearby who promptly fell silent. "Most of us are too suppressed by peer pressure to do openly react with such emotion. We needed someone to be free enough to break the mold. Please, join us at our table for lunch. I've already cleared it with the other girls and they're all anxious to meet you!"
Stunned by her praise and invitation Heath blushed, and unable to speak, meekly smiled and nodded his acceptance. Part of him feared the girls would tease him unmercifully but Laurie had always been open and honest with him and he didn't see any hint of a trap.
“Great,” Laurie enthused. “We’ll see you at lunch!” With that she leaned over and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, then smiling broadly, she turned and headed to her homeroom.
Totally stunned, Heath raised a hand to his cheek and watched her disappear into the crowd. As soon as she was out of sight, the buzz in the hall resumed at a fever pitch, with Laurie and Heath the new hot topic. The chatter snapped him from his stupor and blushing deeply, he finished his locker and scurried to his homeroom. All morning his ears picked up his name as students gossiped in his classrooms and halls.
With his heart beating so hard he could feel each pulse throb in his temples, Heath selected the minimum amount of food school policy allowed as he went through the cafeteria line. After swiping his account card, he took his tray and anxiously stepped into the dining room.
Conversation rapidly dissipated as almost everyone turned to look at him. Fear gripped him and he felt the pressure build in his bladder as he stood looking for Laurie. All he needed was to wet his pants while everyone was watching.
“Heath, over here,” Laurie called out as she stood and waved. Because the silence of the students, she spoke in a normal voice and thus didn’t draw a rebuke from the monitor. Many heads turned to her as she stood smiling at Heath and waving.
The relief Heath felt quelled his demanding bladder as a thankful smile filled his face. Heath carefully walked over to Laurie but it took a great deal of effort to keep from running. Reaching the table, Laurie indicated he take the empty seat beside her. Even as he took the seat she began to introduce the girls at the table. It was with a great sense of relief that he recognized them all from the band.
The quelled conversation in the dining room resumed as Heath meekly accepted the accolades of the girls. They knew he was a tremendous musician and very meek and timid, not at all like the other guys. They understood his hysterical screams of horror when Kyle was hurt had made him a marked target for the bullies and were trying to do what they could to keep him safe. Laurie had talked with the girls in the band room right after the incident to rally them to support Heath. After all, he was a valued member of the band. He barely managed to suppress a giggle when Laura solemnly told him the girls had voted to make him an honorary ‘band geekette’, the secret moniker they had dubbed themselves.
*****
The support of the girls was instrumental in keeping Heath from being overwhelmed by the teasing his hysteria had engendered. Frankly, he doubted he’d have survived without them or Mr. Greene, the phys-ed instructor, who wisely excused him from gym class on Monday and sent Heath to the library.
Heath almost wet himself on Wednesday when he was summoned to the guidance office. Mr. Wilcox, the guidance counselor, did his best to assure the obviously anxious boy he wasn’t in any trouble but that a case worker from the County Children’s Services wanted to talk to him about Kyle Warren. This did little to calm his fears and he began to hyperventilate.
Having no experience in panic attacks other than his training, Mr Wilcox immediately had Heath sit and lower his head between his knees. Squatting in front of Heath, Mr. Wilcox did his best to reassure him. While Heath struggled to regain his composure he felt someone sit beside him and begin to massage his back between the shoulder blades.
“Just relax, Heath,” Melissa Waters soothed. “I’m not an ogre. If you the idea of talking to me is so upsetting, we won’t do it, okay?”
Even though his head was down between his knees, Heath quickly nodded his agreement. It still took a few moments for Heath to regain his composure. Slowly, he sat upright and tentatively looked at the woman who had helped him.
“My name is Melissa Waters and I’m the caseworker,” Melissa smiled warmly. “Would you like to go back to your class?”
“Yes please,” Heath replied softly. “But I’m trying to get over being scared by people so I’ll try to talk to you.”
“Well, thank you,” Melissa replied with a genuine smile. “I’m delighted you’re willing to try to speak with me. If you don’t want to answer a question, simply say so and I’ll move on. If at any time you want to stop, please tell me and we will stop. Okay?”
“Okay, thanks,” Heath smiled weakly feeling a bit more comfortable with this woman.
“Well, lets go into this office,” Melissa said. “Would you like a bottle of water?”
“Yes please,” Heath replied softly.
“Two waters coming right up,” Mr. Wilcox, declared as he went to the small refrigerator. Having only graduated from college that spring, he was in awe of Melissa’s empathy and skill and hoped to one day be as good.
Once seated and after they'd both had a swallow of water, Melissa noted Heath's continued unease. "Are you sure you want to try this?"
"Yes," Heath nodded. "Obviously you need to find out all you can about Kyle to help him so I'll do my best."
"Thank you, that's very considerate of you," Melissa smiled. "I understand you have one class with Kyle and sit across from him at lunch. Is that correct?"
"Yes," Heath replied. "Kyle never talked to me, even when I spoke to him, he totally ignored me. I'm not even sure if he ever really looked at me."
"From what I've discovered, that seems his normal reaction so I'm sure it wasn't your fault," Melissa said as she tried to reassure the nervous boy the failure to entice Kyle into conversation wasn't his fault.
"Yeah, I know," Heath replied sadly. "I know no one ever talked to him but I think they're all afraid of him. I was hoping I could snap him out of his funk as we're both the school lepers."
"You're both the school lepers," Melissa stated repeated.
"Yeah, for me it's because I'm afraid of people and in our first phys-ed class I did the same thing I did just a few moments ago," Heath explained relaxing a bit. "A lot of the guys tease me for being a sissy and a wuss, or even a lot worse. The kids that don't hassle me avoid me because they're afraid they might become targets. For Kyle, most people think it's because he wants to be left alone and he scares them."
"But you don't think that," Melissa understood what Heath was saying.
"No, I think Kyle is super angry and frustrated and just acts like he does to keep from losing control. I think he's hiding from his anger and frustration by shutting down all his emotions."
"From what I've discovered about Kyle I think you may be right," Melissa said. "How did you figure that out?"
"Well, I've learned to be observant to keep from getting ambushed," Heath explained. "Plus since I don't have any friends to distract me, I've been watching Kyle, hoping to find a chink in his armor. So far I haven't."
"Perhaps not," Melissa agreed. "But it's obviously not for lack of trying. To the best of my knowledge, I'd say you have succeeded in getting as close to Kyle as anyone. At least you've been concerned about his behavior."
"Yeah," Heath sighed. "I think I may have gotten too concerned."
"Oh," Melissa answered. "Why is that?"
Heath lowered his gaze and licked his lips.
"You don't have to answer," Melissa assured him. "You've already given me more information about Kyle than I've gotten from anyone else."
"No, I've got to tell you," Heath struggled. "It's why I freaked out when Kyle was hurt. I think I might be ga... ah... I think I might have a crush on him."
Melissa was surprised by the frank revelation from the timid boy but it certainly explained why he'd become hysterical. She realized she'd have to treat this confession very gently. "Have you talked about this to anyone?"
"Yeah, I told my parents on Sunday," Heath admitted. "They didn't freak out and said they loved me and it didn't matter if I was straight or gay."
"That's marvelous," Melissa smiled glad he had family support. "But just because you might have a crush on Kyle doesn't mean you're gay. Perhaps you should get some counseling to help you determine your orientation and your leprosy."
"My parents have been thinking about that," Heath admitted. "I'm not sure I'm ready for a shrink. I told my parents that its time I started taking responsibility for what I do. My mom showed me how to do my laundry and I helped my dad work on his truck. I'm trying to get over being so afraid of people and I think I'm making headway. Some of the girls from the band have had me sit with them at lunch since Monday and I think we're becoming friends. At least I am."
"Okay," Melissa smiled. "You seem to be on top of the issues and I KNOW you're making headway on your fear of people. You've proved that by talking to me."
"I was really scared at first but I figured if you're trying to help Kyle you've got to be a good person," Heath replied.
"Thank you," Melissa smiled. "If you'd like, we can ask Mr. Wilcox to join us and with my back-up, perhaps you can tell him your circumstances. No one should be teased for their fears or their reactions to a tragedy. I'm sure he can help get the worst of the harassment stopped as I know bullying is against school policy."
"I guess I should talk to him," Heath sighed. "Mr Greene, the phys-ed teacher has excused me from class for a bit until things settle down. My hysterical screams when Kyle was hurt only made me a bigger target."
A half hour late Heath headed back to his classes with an excuse note. Mr. Wilcox was quite upset to learn what Heath was enduring and promised to speak with Mr. Forrest, the principal, to see how to proceed to get the harassment stopped. The new counselor was also blown away that Heath had opened up to Melissa about possibly being gay. Melissa gave him some advice on how to handle sensitive issues and gave him her business card telling him to call her if he needed and further advice.
*****
With his spirits buoyed by his talks with the counselors, each day Heath gladly sat with the girls at lunch and eagerly joined in their conversations. By Friday he was so relaxed he forgot his reticence. The girls didn’t blink an eye when he began adding his opinion on some of the guys they were talking about. Heath realized what he’d said and turned beet red but when the girls didn’t react he relaxed a bit. Feeling he was pushing their friendship, he felt compelled to guiltily confess that he thought he might be gay. The girls simply accepted his confession with smiles that told him they already assumed he might be gay and they had no problems with that. Heath didn’t know how to react, but was extremely glad the girls only comment was it changed his status so that now he was a full band geekette. The only fly in the ointment was that it made him feel guilty for not being offended for being a ‘band geekette’.
News about Kyle remained sketchy, all they knew was that was still alive. Heath desperately wanted to ask DJ about his brother but was too afraid. Each day he asked the girls if they had heard any news about Kyle. The girls thought it strange he seemed so eager when he asked and was obviously a bit down when they told him they hadn’t. It didn’t take long until they figured out that Heath had a crush on Kyle! With that knowledge his hysteria at the game made perfect sense. Heath’s blush when they connected the dots revealed his feelings. Again they unequivocally supported him. This only reinforced Heath’s concern that he was gay.
Each evening Heath spent at least two hours playing his flute and recorders. The enchanting tunes floated through the Davis home. While still timid, Keith and Linda could see that Heath was opening up. At supper he spoke animatedly about being a band geekette which made Kathy giggle. While his parents weren't sure how to handle that tidbit, they were happy he finally had friends. Heath had also told his parents about talking to the counselors. Again the parents were delighted to hear that Heath was not only opening up, but had told the counselor and his parents he didn't mind if they discussed his situation, only asking they let him know they were doing so. They even had an evening conference with Mr. Wilcox and Principal Forrest to discuss the bullying Heath endured in an effort to formulate a solution. His exclusion from phys-ed was extended.
*****
The Monday after Thanksgiving weekend the news swept through the school that Kyle was not only awake, he was talking! Not only was he recovering faster than anyone had hoped for, he might be returning to school soon. Right on the heels of that came the rumors that he had finally went crazy and now thought he was a girl! Kyle was elated at the news but stunned by the rumor! Through his fellow geekettes he tried to find out what was going on. One of the girls reported that DJ had refused to confirm or deny the rumor but assured everyone that however Kyle returned to school, he'd be just as tough as he'd been before and that anyone that had a problem with Kyle would have a problem with him too. Heath was pleased to learn DJ was sticking up for his brother. But the rumor that Kyle thought he was a girl really got under his skin.
On Friday December 3, everyone was stunned and the word rocketed through the school. Kyle had been discharged from the hospital the day before and would soon be returning to school. The rumor that Kyle now thought he was a girl was now rampant. The announcement of a special assembly for Monday morning did nothing to relieve his concerns. Heath was really in a quandary... what if the rumors were true?
Keith, Linda and Kathy could tell Heath was wrestling with a major concern all weekend. While making themselves available they didn't push him to talk. Instead Heath threw himself fully into all he did. Doing the laundry, cleaning the house, helping his dad work on the truck, and in the evenings, playing his flute and recorders.
By Monday morning Heath was an emotional wreck. Since Kyle's accident and his hysteria he'd done a lot of self analyzation, especially after the discussions with the geekettes about guys and Kyle. The conclusion he reached was inescapable, he did have a crush on Kyle and that he was gay. Actually, he had few issues accepting these conclusions which was why the rumors that Kyle thought he was a girl were unsettling. It disturbed his carefully crafted new self-image.
Seated with his class in the auditorium, Heath was stunned by Dr. Alterson's declaration that Kyle had declared he was a girl. It felt as if the bottom had just fallen out of his carefully crafted new identity as the gay band geekette. When Dr. Alterson went on to reveal that Kyle was intersexed, both fully and female, Heath's inner turmoil settled a bit as the fact Kyle was indeed male seemed to reaffirm his self beliefs.
All that changed when Kyle came out to address the school. She, for that is what Heath saw, was undeniably a girly girl in both dress and mannerisms. Kylie, for he knew instinctively that she was a girl, projected the epitome of girlishness that Heath found enticing. Jealousy of Kylie's utter girlishness reared it's head plunging Heath into confusion.
The rest of the morning was a waste as Heath couldn't concentrate on the lessons. During lunch the geekettes correctly assumed his brooding was due to Kylie. They along with everyone else watched as Billy Dawson carried Kylie's food to DJ's table and the pair sat with the guys, quickly joining in to their conversation. Kylie looked happy. Almost numbly Heath agreed but added little to their animated discussion about how Kylie was so utterly different from Kyle.
The class after lunch was the fifth period class he shared with Kyle. To see the smiling girl sitting gossiping with the other students almost tore Heath apart. In the carefully crafted world he'd created, Kyle and he would become friends and later more than friends. Now that was impossible. Heath buried his face behind his book and managed to cry silently.
Upon arriving home he went straight to his room and began playing the flute, not even stopping for supper. Keith and Linda were concerned but didn't want to push. Kathy placed a plate with snack bars and a six ounce bottle of grape juice on his desk and left him play on.
When he finally wore himself out he stopped playing. It was only then he noticed the snack and the time. With a small smile of appreciation and a sigh he ate the snack bars and drank the juice, then turned in.
As he tried to go to sleep his mind refused. Was he really gay? The certainty he'd had was now splintered. Kyle no longer existed, Kylie said he'd died of his injuries. As he reviewed his infatuation with Kyle he realized it had all been one sided and he had actually fabricated his crush! This embarrassed him to no end. Once he got past that, the next question was whether he really was gay? Disregarding his false crush, what evidence was there? This came relatively easy. He had been able to discuss what he thought about guys, what attributes he found attractive... very gay. Added to that was his feelings towards girls. He wanted to be friends but only found himself attracted to their girlishness. Heck, he'd been attracted to Kylie's girlishness and if truth be told was now jealous of Kylie for being so girly. Taken all together, that seemed to fit his earlier self diagnosis of being gay. It was only his misguided crush for Kyle that had been wrong. With that seemingly settled, he finally relaxed into sleep.
In the morning he thanked his parents for letting him brood and Kathy for the snack. Keith and Linda saw that while still a bit depressed, he was definitely more upbeat. Whatever the crisis was, it had passed.
*****
Over the next two weeks at school Heath also perked up and discreetly settled into being the gay band geekette. The only fly in the ointment was Kylie. During lunch and the fifth period class she distracted him. While he had dismissed his erstwhile crush, he couldn't get past how girly she'd become and his jealousy grew. Especially as it became clear that Billy Dawson and Kylie were becoming an item. The more Heath saw of them, he realized Billy was the arch-type of guy he found attractive! Now the green-eyed goddess of envy really took hold of Heath. Kylie exhibited everything he found attractive in girls and she had the guy he wanted!
While it was never in Kyle's heart to even consider doing anyone harm, jealousy and the ensuing helplessness drove Heath into a deep funk that became evermore melancholy whenever he saw the new couple. The band geekettes noticed this and did their best to revive his once more sagging spirits. Things grew worse on Monday December 21 when word that Kylie and Billy had gone on a date to the movies on Saturday swept the school.
It took a lot of self control to subdue Heath's jealousy. Since he'd never do anything to hurt anyone he did his best to avoid even looking at Kylie and Billy. The band geekettes had already realized talk about Kylie and Billie sent Heath's mood crashing so they studiously avoided the topic and said nothing when Heath switched seats at their lunch table so his back was facing the duo. The only place he couldn't avoid them was in their shared fifth period class. Each day during the class Heath's mood grew darker and more sullen.
On the last day of school before the holiday break, Heath overheard Billy and Kylie discussing getting together over the holiday. Heath clenched his fists and glowered into the open textbook he used to shield them from his view.
It was only at this point that Kylie consciously noticed the gloom becoming predominate in Heath's aura. The intensity of his gloom startled her. Having set her astral guard up to auto- monitor the auras of those she was around so she might be warned of danger, she realized she’d wrongly dismissed Heath’s changing aura as one of growing disgust with her change. Something else was going on and she’d obviously triggered it. Cautiously she probed his mind to read his thoughts.
Kylie was stunned by what she found when she probed the morose thoughts of Heath. He was gay and almost insanely jealous of her girlishness and wanted Billy for himself! Hiding beneath that emotional morass she found that Heath thought he had developed a crush on Kyle! She’d heard he’d screamed hysterically when Kyle had been injured but had incorrectly assumed it was simply a reaction to the horrific injuries. This boy had serious issues but felt he was so meek he was incapable of even thinking of hurting someone. At this point he posed no danger so she relaxed a bit. Carefully she astrally tagged Heath for constant monitoring and made every effort to cool her girlishness and budding relationship with Billy while Heath was around them. She gently tweaked Billy to also cool down his enthusiasm for Kylie when Heath was near. The entire effort only took about three seconds.
As Heath kept his head buried in his textbook he felt a weird sense of vertigo for a few moments. It almost felt as if Kylie was boring into his mind. Quickly he shut his eyes and shook his head to dispel his obvious hallucination.
As the school day wound down, the normal rush and anticipation of Christmas quickly swept everyone into the holiday spirit. Kylie had already made arrangements for Billy to attend the 10:00pm Christmas Eve Communion Service with her family.
Fortunately Heath was unaware of those plans. Heath was hoping that he’d be able to gain control and cool his jealousy over the holidays as the couple would be out of his daily life. Fortunately, the last two classes had been replaced by an assembly where the choir and band presented their Christmas Concert. Heath eagerly lost himself in the performances and the solos he had been given impressed even the students who were heavily into hip-hop and rap music. Kylie was relieved to note the incredible change in Heath’s aura as he played. The anger and frustration faded as a glowing state of bliss overwhelmed everything else.
At home, Heath threw himself into the holiday spirit. As he often did, his church had asked him to play his flute in place of an organ prelude. With a chuckle he selected one of his favorite tunes, ‘What Child Is This’. The song used the same music as ‘Greensleeves’ although the words were quite different. Also, instead of the flute, he decided it would be a fitting song to publicly debut his ability to simultaneously play different notes on two recorders. Afraid they might not approve, he didn’t tell anyone, including his parents, his plan.
*****
As normal, the church was filled for the Christmas Eve service. Since it had been a while since the Warrens had attended the service, they didn’t realize they had to get there early to get a ‘decent’ seat in the back of the church. As a result, the only place they were able to find a place all five of them could sit together was the front row. Kylie really didn’t mind as she loved her green velvet dress and wanted to show it and herself off. With Billy at her side, she crutched her way up the center aisle. For many in the congregation, this was their first glimpse of the pretty young miss. All were impressed by her smile and appearance. No sign of the morose boy they had previously known was evident. Kylie sat on the end of the row by the center aisle so she could easily stretch her leg. Of course, Billy sat beside her holding her hand.
A few minutes later the choir, organist, and Heath came in. Shortly afterwards, an usher came forward and made a few announcements, then the bell in the tower was rung. Heath rose from his seat to stand by the organ facing the congregation. Most of the congregation knew of his talent and were looking forward to hearing him. To stem his nervousness which his fear of people still engendered, Heath didn’t look at the congregation but closed his eyes to concentrate on his music. Everyone but his parents wondered what was going on when he placed both of his recorders in his mouth at once.
Taking a breath to calm his nerves, Heath began with an elaborate introduction he’d composed hinting at the main tune. The beautiful evocative music filled the church. Even those who didn’t know music realized he was playing the melody on one recorder while playing the accompaniment on the other. The vibrato he used amplified the warmth and expressiveness of the music. Heath’s flawless, smooth and seeming effortless mastery of the music was so stunning even the babies and toddlers fell silent. Heath’s dual recorder rendition of the normally endearing song was so emotive many in the congregation had tears in their eyes and most couldn’t help but softly sing the words.
What Child is this who, laid to rest
On Mary's lap is sleeping?
Whom Angels greet with anthems sweet,
While shepherds watch are keeping?
This, this is Christ the King,
Whom shepherds guard and Angels sing;
Haste, haste, to bring Him laud,
The Babe, the Son of Mary.
Heath had always loved the acoustics in the sanctuary and lost himself in his music and while staying true to the melody improvising as he played. The song should have lasted four minutes but Heath unwitting but enchantingly extended it to ten minutes. Those who knew music were stunned since it was clear that with his eyes serenely closed Heath was not playing from a score. When he finished, the auditorium was awed into silence for thirty seconds. Then the overwhelmed congregation erupted into unprecedented applause which quickly turned into a standing ovation.
Kylie was stunned by the performance. Even in James Wilson’s vast absorbed memories there was nothing to compare. If anything, she was more blown away by Heath’s performance than anyone. When he first stood to play his aura was pinkish silver. With the astral monitoring tag she’s placed on him, she realized it was the result of mixed anxiety for being surrounded by people and anticipation of the pleasure he always felt in his music. As soon as the first notes emerged, the pink disappeared and the silver blossomed. Kylie was stunned as the silver glow fully enveloped Heath and became so intensely bright it momentarily blinded her astral eyes. Kylie had never realized anyone could become so enraptured in something they did. Sure, as Kyle she had been intense, but it had been fueled by anger. Heath’s near rapture was fueled by his pure love of music which had clearly been felt by everyone present. His ability to simultaneously play different notes on the two recorders was equally astounding. Then she realized the depth of Heath’s emotions carried over into all aspects of his life making the intensity of his jealousy of her and Billy so vivid. These thoughts surged through her mind in only a few seconds. Then just like everyone else she too was drawn into the hypnotic music. Heath’s playing washed away all her concerns and sent her spirit soaring.
As her astral sight returned, her ethereal self noted the auras of everyone in the church brighten as the spirituality of Heath’s playing ensnared everyone’s soul. What surprised her was that the tremendous glow of Heath’s’s aura had increased it’s size to fill the sanctuary and was actually mingling with and influencing in a positive manor the auras of everyone present, including her’s. Never had she imagined so many people, without exception, could become so enraptured.
The thunderous applause snapped Heath out of his music induced zone and his eyes snapped open. His expression clearly showed he was confused by the applause. It took a few moments until he realized the standing ovation was for him. This surprised him as he knew the congregation had never done this before. Humbled, he blushed deeply and bowed. The applause soared. Then his world crashed.
When Heath finished, Kylie eagerly joined the rest of the congregation in expressing delight, even struggling to stand to join the standing ovation. Then Billy and DJ shouted out their approval.
“Way to go, Heath,” Billy called out.
“Heath, you rock,” DJ joined in.
Heath recognized Billy's voice and looked up to see Kylie, Billy and DJ in the front pew no more than fifteen feet away. The jealousy and anger he felt about Kylie and Billy tried to take control but the positive after-glow of the music barely held sway. The still applauding congregation added enough angst to disorient him and he froze. Fear that he might embarrass himself gripped him only adding to his dilemma as the fear overwhelmed the afterglow. Tears formed in his eyes in preparation for a full blown crying jag. Then came the ultimate horror as Heath felt his bladder control vanish and the flow begin. Wetting his pants and crying in front of the congregation after having performed so well was going to be an absolute disaster.
Kylie was still in astral contact with Heath and saw his glowing aura ripple as red anger threatened to destroy the silver. Then in a mere instant orange fear became dominant. Without thinking Kylie slipped an astral tentacle into Heath's mind where she quickly scanned his thoughts and emotions. She noted his tears forming but then was almost knocked out of his brain as the fear of wetting himself overwhelmed everything else in his mind. Somehow she managed to hold on as the tsunami of terror surged around in his brain. Kylie understood his horror as she sensed his loss of bladder control.
While she thought she could access his nervous system to shut down the leak in a minute or so, she realized it was already too late. While she couldn't stop the flow, maybe she could divert it. Just as she did when she tweaked electronic equipment, she opened a tiny aperture into the ether right at the tip of Heath's penis. Even as it snapped open she sensed the stream emerge and shoot into the astral plain. Fearing there might be unforseeable consequences if she left the urine there, she opened a second hole just outside the church at the shrubbery to drain it there. Then she reached directly to Heath's eyes and easily located the nerves that controlled the tear ducts, easily closing them down to stop the tears.
Heath felt even weirder than he normally did when he lost control. The strange vertigo he’d felt in the last fifth period class also returned with even greater force. Normally his fear first muddled his thoughts and deprived him of bodily control. His conscious mind could feel the terror driven reactions but was powerless to stop it. If the fear was strong enough, tears and pants-wetting followed. Once again it felt as if someone was in his brain! Suddenly he realized he was pissing freely but felt no wetness in or on his pants. Where was it going? Then he felt the order to shut down his tears and knew it hadn't come from his mind. Someone WAS inside his mind!
Scared but curious and feeling at least somewhat safe since the entity seemed to be helping him, he sent his thoughts along the nerves to his tear ducts. It felt uber-weird as until he felt them being ordered about, he'd never known those nerves existed since they were part of his autonomic nervous system. In an instant, with his well developed sense of perception, he found the other person.
Kylie was stunned as she felt Heath's consciousness touch her intruding astral tentacle. Immediately she threw up blocks to prevent him from accessing her mind. This totally unexpected event would require a thorough examination! She'd mentally linked minds with others in their mutual astral existence and almost instantly shared thoughts and memories. But she’d never done so with someone in the earthly plane. Sure, she'd probed the minds of others but they were never aware of the intrusions. But then she’d never tried to access their nerves to make changes in their bodies, she’d only tweaked their thoughts.
"Kylie?" Heath mentally shouted. "What are you doing in my head? How are you in my head?"
"Whoa, Heath, settle down," Kylie did her best to tweak his thoughts to sooth the fearful boy. "I realized what was happening and had to help you from being embarrassed. Look, I know you've been angry and jealous of me and I'm sorry. I'd like to be friends. But now isn't the time or place to discuss this. I'm going to help you tamp down your fear and anxiety so you can enjoy your well deserved accolades. Look, tomorrow afternoon... about three... we can talk and I'll explain things to you. Just mentally call my name and I'll hear you.
"This is too weird," Heath mentally thought back as he still felt his fear of losing control of his body but Kylie’s calming efforts were effective. "You saved me from embarrassing myself, thanks. I'll call your name about three, but I have to know now, what happened to my whiz?"
"It's in the bushes outside the church," Kylie mentally giggled. "I'm not sure how I was able to do it so I need to figure it out. I should know by the time we talk. By the way, your playing was fantastic!"
"Thanks again," Heath replied with a smile that carried over to his face as he felt Kylie help him deflate the fear that had nearly overwhelmed him. The applause was still going on and everyone assumed his smile was appreciation of their applause. The entire mental intrusion/communication had taken about five seconds. As he bowed once more, Heath smiled at Kylie who was already smiling.
The mood in the sanctuary remained high and positive throughout the rest of the service. The powerful radiant silver aura Heath had projected while playing had infected the aura’s of everyone with happiness, thankfulness, and contentment. This Christmas would be a good one for everyone who saw and heard Heath perform. After the service Heath stood in the back and shook everyone's hand as they praised his playing. DJ and Billy shook his hand and smiled. Kylie squeezed his hand and gave him a warm kiss on the cheek.
For the first time in his life, Heath managed to keep his fear of people and anxiety in check. It was still there and as strong as ever, but Kylie had somehow set up a block which eliminated the power fear had to make him freeze up, cry, and wet himself. Better yet, he now knew how to place the block! Kylie had given him the best Christmas gift he'd ever received. She'd given him the power to control his fear!
Keith, Linda and Kathy were delighted with Heath. His amazing performance had simply blown everyone away and they had praised the proud parents and sister. When Heath joined them, he was smiling broader than they'd ever seen. Even though they knew he'd been terrified of getting up to perform, he'd done it flawlessly and now seemed relaxed and basking in the praise. This was the first time he had controlled his fears. They hoped it wouldn't be his last.
*****
It was after midnight when he finally made it to bed, Heath replayed the Christmas service in his mind. No one had complained he'd lost himself in his music and stretched the song. It made him feel good that he’d obviously captivated the congregation with his performance. It sort of bothered him that Kylie had entered his mind and he'd noted her shock when he'd confronted her. He correctly assumed she had somehow greatly reduced the anxiety such an invasion should have engendered. Yet her intervention had saved him from great embarrassment and the block she'd created to keep his fear from overwhelming him worked great. After the service when everyone crowded around him to compliment his playing had still been terrifying but he'd been able to keep the fear at bay and graciously accept the accolades. However Kylie had done it, he'd find out this afternoon.
In her bedroom Kylie was also mulling over what had happened. It was only when her astral tentacle had opened a tiny window the size of hair from the astral plane to the physical earthly plane and physically contacted Heath's nerve that he became aware of her presence. She supposed tamping down and blocking his fears had allowed him to react with lightening speed to followed the route of her intervention back to her. If she hadn't blocked the route to her mind she had little doubt he'd have mingled with her just as she'd mingled with James Wilson and Jennifer Sue. If that happened with someone who wasn't ascending... that idea was scary! She knew she'd have to make sure her astral mind was blocked from intrusion at all times.
Kylie's analysis of the incident also led her to believe the reason her earlier astral forays into the minds of other people were never twigged was because she'd never made physical contact. The most she'd done was to tweak their thoughts or emotions. Heath hadn't known she was there until she made physical contact. This meant she could continue to probe and even tweak the thoughts of others.
With that at least a bit resolved, Kylie analyzed how she'd created the astral path of Heath's urine. It was fairly easy. All she'd done was to create an astral window at the tip of his penis and a second window in the shrubbery outside the church. Then it hit her... she'd passed something physical through the astral plain to exit at another location! The implications were mind-boggling!
Now she was wide awake. Grabbing her crutches she got out of bed and sent an astral spy to the bathroom she shared with DJ to see if it was empty. Taking a deep breath she opened an astral door right in front of her placing the other side in the bathroom. Creating the door took quite a bit of concentration and mental energy. Much more than she'd needed to create the pinhole openings she made up to this point Then she physically stepped through and the door promptly evaporated.
It worked! In one step she'd gone from her bedroom to the bathroom! Kylie giggled with delight. Inspired, she sent a tentacle to the school library. Selecting a suitable location she created another astral door and stepped through to the library! Just like before, as soon as she stopped concentrating on maintaining the door, it snapped out of existence. Giggling with delight she crutched around the library. Then she realized she was still wearing her nighty. Even though she knew no one was in the school this early on Christmas day, she opened another astral door and stepped back to her bedroom. She wanted to get dressed and go exploring but wisely decided it would be better to wait until she lost the crutches and cast.
With that decided, she slipped beneath her covers and easily dropped off to sleep. Of course, her astral mind continued to mull over her recent astral outings to make sure her defenses were up to staving off any potential attacks or invasions.
*****
Everyone who had heard Heath had a great Christmas morning, The warmth and love they felt was the warm afterglow of Heath's aura touching theirs.
At three Heath was in his bedroom sitting at his desk. Closing his eyes he mentally spoke "Kylie? Are you there?"
"Hi Heath," Kylie greeted after a few seconds. "I want to apologize again for violating you last night. I was just trying to help you. You really startled me when you chased me down."
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to startle you," Heath replied. "What you did for me was fantastic. I can now control that block you put in to keep my fears from overwhelming me. I'm still scared but I can keep it from messing me up. I know you did something to keep me from panicking at your intrusion but I understand you had no choice. How did you do all that stuff?"
"I assume you've heard stories of badly injured people having an out of body experience where they can float about and watch what's going on," Kylie stated.
Yeah," Heath replied.
"When Kyle was injured, that happened," Kylie explained. "I was floating above him but somehow still attached. When the helicopter flew off with my body, it yanked me along too. Anyway, I guess because they sedated me and I was so near death, somehow I was able to maintain my astral self. I wondered all over the hospital and explored stuff while my body was hooked up to all sorts of machines. I knew everything Kyle knew. My astral self got pretty strong and I was able to keep going without any rest. I even dipped into my physical mind. I tweaked myself to heal faster and it worked. That's why my recovery has been so fast."
"That's awesome," Heath replied.
"I also knew Kyle was bitter and angry," Kylie continued. "I did a lot of psychological self-analyzation. When Kyle woke up, my astral self popped back inside him but he knew all I'd done. I realized I hated being a boy and longed to be a girl. When the doctors were checking me, I told them I was a girl. Boy, did that create a stir! Everyone knew that Kyle was moody and seldom spoke but I was jabbering away. Anyway, I decided to try sending my astral self out of body when I was awake and it worked. With practice I became rather adept. I could slip inside a person's mind and read their thoughts and emotions. I was even able to tweak their thoughts a bit. After a lot of exploration I realized what I was doing was wrong and tried to stop. Now all I do is monitor the emotions of others, mainly so I can see if anyone might want to hurt me."
"I'd never intentionally hurt anyone," Heath declared. "So why were you in my mind?"
"I felt your emotions spike when you heard Billy call out," Kylie replied. "Then you saw me with him and your emotions exploded. I astrally entered your mind to try to calm you down. I know it worked but I was already too late as I felt your terror about wetting yourself. I opened a small astral door at the tip of your weiner and put the exit outside in the bushes. It happened so fast I didn't even think about it. I just did it. Then I tweaked the nerves to your eyes to shut down the tears. That's when you discovered me."
"So you can go into other peoples minds and read their thoughts," Heath shivered. "That's spooky. But so long as you don't physically touch them they don't know you're there?"
"Exactly," Kylie answered. "You are the first person I actually touched. I had no idea you would discover me."
"So if you read my thoughts..." Heath mumbled as he felt fear building.
"Relax, I'm not upset that you think you're gay," Kylie assured Heath. "I'm actually flattered you had a crush on Kyle. I'm also flattered you think I'm a cute girl and are more than a bit jealous that Billy is my boyfriend and not yours. I'm cool with that."
"Oh... that's good," Heath perked up. "But how do I know you're not making me think that I think that's good?"
"You don't," Kylie admitted. "But I can't make you think anything without physically touching you and you know you'll be aware of any touch I make. I can ramp your thoughts up or down, but I can't create them."
"That's how you made that block to stop my runaway fear," Heath mused aloud.
"Yeah," Kylie responded.
Then Heath asked the question Kylie was dreading. "Who else knows about what you can do?"
"No one," Kylie replied softly. "I'm scared what might happen if anyone found out."
"Wow," Heath responded. "I guess it's like that old movie "Fire Starter" where the government wanted to use that girl's power. Why did you admit it was you when I discovered you in my mind? I mean, if I'd have told anyone they'd have thought I was crazy especially after screaming like I did when you... er... Kyle was hurt."
"I couldn't hurt you like that," Kylie replied somberly. "I'm trying to be like you and not hurt anyone. Heck, I might even be able to erase your memory of all this but I don't know if doing so would cause some permanent damage so I won't do it. Please don't tell anyone."
"I won't," Heath replied. "Like I said, no one would believe me anyway."
"Thank you," Kylie replied. "Look, I might be able to help you a bit more but to do so I'll have to link directly to your mind. I won't do it if you say no and there won't be any hard feelings."
Heath thought a bit the asked. "How do you think you can help me?"
"Well, you think you're gay, but I don't think you are," Kylie answered. "I'm not disputing that you like guys, especially ones like Billy, so that shows you have good taste, but he's mine. You're also jealous of girls for their ability to be all girly. Most gays aren't jealous of the way girly girls dress and behave, just their ability to snag cute guys. By probing your mind, I think I might be able to figure out what you are."
"It would be nice to know," Heath responded. "How much about me will you access?"
"I'm not sure," Kylie answered honestly. "I've never intentionally done it."
Heath's interest was peaked. "Who did you do it with and what did you learn?"
Kylie drew in a deep breath. "You promised to keep my ability secret," she reminded him. "It happened twice in the hospital while I was in the coma. In my astral body I was exploring my abilities and the hospital. The first was when I was in intensive care. I went into the room next to mine and saw an old man hooked up to life support. Suddenly someone spoke to me and I saw his astral body cowering in the corner. He hoped I was an angel sent to get him. Anyway, I found out he was being kept alive on the life support and that he just wanted to die as there was no hope of recovery. He begged me to help him. I'd already explored the same equipment he was hooked up to because my physical body was on it too. So I reached inside and cut off the power on the ventilator. It only took a few moments before his physical body began to die. He was so happy that he came to me in his astral form and hugged me in thanks. When we touched, our minds mingled. All his memories became mine and mine became his. Then a hole opened up with a big white light and he flew into it and it closed. I guess he went to heaven."
"So you know everything he did," Heath stated with a bit of trepidation.
"Yeah," Kylie answered. "It took quite a while to figure out what had happened and for me to assimilate over eighty years of memories. The second time happened when I heard the trauma team scrambling for an incoming heli-vac. I went up on the roof to watch the chopper land. I saw a terrified astral girl hanging on the landing strut. I flew up to comfort her but I scared her and she started to fall. I reached out and grabbed her. When we touched, our memories mingled and she understood I was trying to help her. Then the white hole opened and she flew to it to be with her mom who was killed in the accident she'd been injured. Physically, she died as the chopper landed. I then had to absorb all her memories. She was a girly girl, that's how I know how to behave."
"That's fantastic," Heath said. "I'd really look crazy if I tried to tell that! No one would ever believe me. So if you enter my brain, we'd exchange memories?"
"I don't know," Kylie replied. "I never really probed deeply into anyone's mind. I've only read their surface thoughts and feelings. The mingling occurred when we met in astral form."
Heath was still uncertain. "But you're willing to mingle minds with me?"
"No," Kylie answered with a bit of shame. "I'd block your mind from mingling with me. I'd have access to your mind but it would only be one way. An astral mind can handle a lot of data quickly, a physical mind might overload. I'm certain I can find what I want to know but I don't know how much else I'd absorb. That's why I'm telling you up front. I won't do it without your okay."
"I appreciate that," Heath replied. "While I want to know what I am if I'm not gay, I'm not sure I want to open up to you. What I don't understand is why you're not doing it now, we are linked, aren't we... or am I hallucinating?"
"You're not hallucinating," Kylie chuckled. "The contact we've had so far has only been in your surface thoughts. What I learned about how you feel about me and Billie were on the top of your mind when I jumped in to help you."
"So right now, you're only in contact with my active thoughts," Heath pondered.
“Exactly," Kylie answered. "I've never probed any deeper in a physical mind."
"So you don't really know what will happen," Heath declared.
"You're right, I don't really know what will happen," Kylie shivered. "I'd better not do it then, because I don't want to risk hurting you. Sorry, I shouldn't have even asked. I'm still learning what I can and can't do as well as what I should and shouldn't do."
"It's okay, I appreciate you want to help me," Heath smiled. "So just tell me what you think I am if I'm not gay?"
"I don't know if I should say," Kylie hesitated. "I don't want to upset you."
"I appreciate your concern but I need to know," Heath answered.
"Well, okay," Kylie replied. "It's difficult to explain, but give me a moment to organize what I know about the condition I suspect, then I'll 'download' it into your mind. You can analyze it and see if it fits. Then call me again and we can discuss it."
"Sounds like a plan," Heath agreed.
Kylie didn't want to smother him with technical info so she just gathered the information she thought a seventh grader could handle and process. She'd been able to handle it all because she was able to draw on James Wilson's life experience and maturity. "Here it comes," Kylie told Heath after a few seconds.
Heath was almost staggered by the volume of information Kylie was feeding him. At the same time, he realized she was carefully metering the flow to insure she didn't crash the system... his mind. When it was complete, Heath was surprised. "You think I'm a transsexual?"
"Yeah," Kylie answered. "Think about it and call me. Goodbye and good luck."
Heath felt Kylie leave his thoughts. Glancing at the clock he was stunned to see only five minutes had passed. Things moved much faster at thought speed. As he absorbed the 'download', Heath began to appreciate Kylie's abilities, to be able to absorb the memories of two people seemed daunting, especially when you didn't know what was happening.
Even as he was sorting the information, Heath realized he did seem to fit the diagnosis. He wasn't gay, he was a transsexual... a girl stuck in the body of a boy! This would only make his life tougher. Still, if he had accepted being gay, he could handle this.
Kylie smiled when she got a brief thought message from Heath. "Thank's Kylie, I think you may be right. Talk to you later."
*****
At breakfast Sunday morning, Heath spoke up about his gender concerns. "I've been doing a lot of thinking and I've decided I'm not gay after all."
Linda and Keith exchanged looks of relief. Kathy looked perplexed. They knew Heath had been in deep thought most of the time yesterday, but none had ever suspected he was thinking about his sexuality.
"I think I'm transsexual," Heath added before they could respond to his initial statement.
Keith spit out the food he was chewing. Linda froze and stared at Heath. “All right,” Kathy exclaimed. “I got a big sister!”
Heath smiled at Kathy’s genuine outburst but began to explain his conclusion. "I'm attracted to boys because mentally I'm a girl. That's why I check out girly girls too," Heath continued unfazed by their reactions. "I want to be like them!"
"Ah... how did you decide this," Linda managed to ask trying not to sound upset while Keith was struggling to wrap his mind around this latest bit of news. Kathy just sat grinning.
"It hit me during the Christmas Eve service," Heath replied, just not saying exactly what it was that hit him. "I've always liked going to church because the girls, especially the girly girls, like to dress nicely, especially on Christmas and Easter. When I'd finished the prelude, I noticed Kylie Warren and her boyfriend, Billy Dawson, in the front row right in front of me. She really looked cute in her dress and Billy looked super hunky. I was so jealous of Kylie, she was wearing what I wished I could wear and sitting with a boy who I'd love to have for a boyfriend. That's when it hit me... I wasn't a gay boy who liked guys, I'm a girl who like's guys, I just have the wrong body! Being transsexual makes so much more sense than being gay!"
Linda could do little more than nod.
Keith was still trying to wrap his mind around the matter when he almost choked. "Was Kylie that cute girl on crutches who kissed you on the cheek?"
Yeah, that was Kylie," Heath enthused. "She was with Billy and her brother DJ. Billy's the kind of guy I'd like for a boyfriend and that dress Kylie was wearing was just to die for!"
"She was cute," Linda agreed as she was impressed by the unabashed kiss she'd given Heath.
"Ahh... tell me if I'm wrong," Keith said. "The boy that almost had his foot ripped off at the football game was Kyle Warren and his brother DJ was the quarter back. Is Kylie that boy?"
"She WAS that boy," answered Heath. "But they found out while she was in the hospital that she's intersexed. She has all the bits of a normal girl and all the bits of a normal guy at the same time. They only discovered it when she woke up from the coma they'd put Kyle in to help his recovery. It turns out the reason Kyle was so angry was because he always felt like a girl but was expected to be a tough guy and play sports. It was the anger that drove him to play like he did and never enjoy it. Kylie's such a girly girl now and just plain bubbling over with happiness."
"Wow," Linda smiled. "That just sounds unreal. I'd never have suspected Kyle and Kylie were the same person. She really seemed happy."
"She is," Heath nodded and wistfully sighed. "I'm so jealous of her it hurts."
“I think you’ll be just as cute when you start dressing like a girl,” Kathy enthused.
Keith was still trying to digest all this and didn't know how to react. "Just hold on a bit. You’re putting Heath in dresses and I’m not even sure what’s going on. Has Kylie had any issues at school with being hassled?"
"No," Heath answered. "When she returned to school three weeks ago they had an assembly. Principle Forrest and her psychologist explained her situation, then she came out on her crutches an spoke to us, then answered questions. She was so open and honest she pretty much blew everyone away. There is simply no comparison between Kyle's behavior and Kylie's. Besides, she told everyone that just because she was a girl didn't mean she still didn't have Kyle's toughness and that while she certainly didn't want to fight, she would defend herself. As far as I know, no one's hassled her at all."
"I guess that's because she's intersexed," Keith nodded. "Look, Heath, you said you knew it'd be tough being gay. Being transsexual is considerably tougher. There are some idiots that would want to hurt you and a few who might want to kill you."
"I know," Kyle somberly agreed. "But I don't have any choice. I have to be who I am, and I'm a girl. Just look at me, I choose to play the flute. I don't care about sports. I'm artistic, not the least bit macho. I need to free the girl hiding inside of me. I need to become Heather."
"Your father is right," Linda agreed with Keith. "It'll be dangerous and won't happen overnight. We'd have to take you to a psychologist for verification and then go from there."
"You'll have to remain a boy until then," Keith added.
"I understand," Heath smiled delighted his parents, although shocked by his announced transsexuality, were still none the less supportive. "I've lived this long as a weird boy, I can hold on for a bit longer, at least publicly, but I'd like to get started exploring being a girl here at home."
"Before we do anything we need to see a shrink," Keith declared as he looked to Linda for backing. "If the doctor agrees you might be transsexual, then we can get you some things to try and dress up here at home."
"Okay," agreed Heath. "But can we please get started? The shrink that's been treating Kylie probably knows a lot about transsexualism. We can call her! I'll call Kylie and get her doctor's name and phone number."
"I'm not sure that's wise," Keith said hoping to slow things down. "Won't she ask why you want them?"
"She might, but she'll accept it if I tell her it's confidential," Heath replied. "I'll call her now."
Heath looked up Kylie's phone number, then dialed. Laura Warren answered. "This is Heath Davis, I was wondering if I might speak to Kylie."
"Of course," Laura said. "Let me call her. (Kylie! Phone call!) Heath, while we're waiting I just want to tell you again how your playing Christmas Eve was simply phenomenal!"
"Thanks Mrs. Warren," Heath demurred.
"Yes it was," Kylie spoke into the extension she'd just picked up.
"I'll let you two talk, bye Heath," Laura said.
"Bye Mrs. Warren. Kylie, this is Heath," Heath began then heard the 'click' of the phone being hung up. Alone on the line he spoke to Kylie about getting her shrink's name.
As soon as he was off the phone, Kathy grabbed her new sister and tugged him into her bedroom to play with her Barbies. Heath barely managed to pass the piece of paper he jotted the name and phone number of Kylie’s shrink to his mother before yielding to Kathy’s urging. The pair spent almost all day playing Barbies and with baby dolls. Kathy was simply delighted to be able to help her new big sister learn the joys of playing with dolls.
*****
Linda Davis spoke at length with Dr. Alterson on Monday morning while Heath sat nervously waiting to see if the doctor would take him as a patient. Heath breathed a sigh of relief as he heard the doctor managed to fit him in on Wednesday morning for a preliminary session and some basic personality testing.
Once those arrangements were completed, Heath decided to call Kylie to see if he could come over the next morning to get some pointers on how to appear more girly for the interview and tests.
"Sure I'll teach you all I can," Kylie declared. "But if you come over I'll have to tell my family since I'm not allowed to have boys in my bedroom. Don't worry about them, they've all had sessions with Dr. Alterson so they're okay with transsexualism.
"Ah, I'm not sure if I like that," Heath balked a bit.
"Heather, I promise it'll be okay," Kylie reassured him.
Bolstered by her assurance and the fact she'd called him Heather helped Heath decide to go ahead with the visit. "Okay. I'll be there about ten."
"Great," Kylie exclaimed. "I'll see you then!"
Kathy waited until he’d hung up the phone before pouncing on him. They spent the rest of the day playing with dolls and several games of Mystery Date.
*****
That evening during supper Kylie explained Heath's perceived transsexualism to her family. DJ wasn't the least put out. "Well, that certainly explains his problems in the lockerroom," was his only comment.
Dave and Laura asked DJ to explain his comment which he did. After learning about Heath’s issues they saw no problems with allowing Heath to come over to get some girl to girl advice from Kylie.
*****
Tuesday morning Heath felt his fear trying to overwhelm him as he rode his bicycle ten blocks to Kylie's home. Fortunately he was able to use the mental block Kylie had created Christmas Eve to keep his fear and anxiety in check and continue the trip. When DJ answered the door, Kyle almost bolted.
"Hey, Heath, relax, I thinks it's cool you're really a girl," DJ smiled. "Being a girl explains why you play music so well. I'll be honest, I don't understand why you feel like a girl trapped in a boy's body, but that's okay. I don't understand electricity either but I like it. Come on in, Kylie's up in her room, I'll show you."
Heath relaxed a bit, managed to return DJ's smile, and entered the house. Laura entered the living room and welcomed Heath, once more praising him for his music. The open greetings from her helped him relax more. DJ led Heath upstairs where he knocked on Kylie's bedroom door announcing that Heath was here.
"Come on in, Heather," Kylie called out warmly.
Heath blushed a bit but felt really good to be called Heather. Anxiously looking at DJ to see how he reacted he saw only a smile. It felt good to openly be Heather, especially since she was in boy drag. Heather happily opened the door and was pleasantly surprised by the girlishness of the room. The pink walls and white wicker furniture just screamed GIRL and Heather instantly fell in love with the decor. Kylie was seated at her desk.
"Wow, I just love your room," Heather enthused from the door as DJ headed back downstairs.
"Thanks, come on in and shut the door," Kylie smiled while waving Heather inside and pointing to a wicker chair with fluffy cushions.
Heather sat in the chair and was amazed to discover how comfy it was. "I know I'm already a bit girly, but I want to make sure the shrink agrees," Heather explained after exchanging pleasantries for a few minutes.
"No problem," Kylie smiled. "The easiest way would be for me to 'download' Jennifer Sue's girlishness into you. I gathered what I could of her feelings and emotions without any of her memories."
Heather wrinkled his brow and asked, "Who is Jennifer Sue?"
"Oh, sorry," Kylie smiled. "She was the girl I astrally mingled with on the landing strut of the Medi-Vac chopper as she was being brought into the trauma center. When we mingled all her knowledge and memories were added to mine. She was a real girly girl and I can't wait to get this cast off to take dancing lessons. Jennifer Sue did several solos at recitals. I know all the terminology and moves, so I just need to train my muscles."
"That must be cool," Heather enthused. "Did you get all the memories and knowledge of that old man?"
"Well, yeah," Kyle replied soberly. "In our mingling I gained all their experiences and memories. I know the pain and agony Jennifer Sue felt when she was in the accident that killed her mom and eventually her. I also have all the memories of fighting in the Battle of the Bulge and killing a man in hand to hand combat. I got all the bad along with the good. It was really tough trying to assimilate all of James."
"I hadn't thought of that," Heather sympathized.
"So, if you're ready, I'll give the girly goodies to you," Kylie stated. "It'll take a while to blend them into your feelings, but I don't think there will be too many differences."
Heather thought of a question. "Will I know what is hers and what is mine?"
"I'm not sure," Kylie replied with honesty. "I've merged my feelings and emotions so completely with most of Jennifer Sue's I can't tell them apart. But at the same time I've kept James feelings and emotions separate. I know them but don't want them to be a part of my everyday life. I think you'll know which are hers and which are yours at first, but in a few hours they'll probably be all yours."
"So basically if I'm not really a transsexual now I will be once the download is complete," Heather stated.
"I'm not sure," Kylie answered quite seriously. "The emotions and feelings that didn't match mine didn't merge with me. I have them and can access them if I need them, but they are not part of who I am. I don't know if that will happen with you. If you don't want to do it, I'll understand."
"Thanks, but I want to do it," Heather declared. "I've never been happy as a boy. I've never fit in. That's why I accepted being gay... it made more sense to me. But then I never knew that transsexuals existed. When you gave me that information, it fit me really well. So I think getting Jennifer Sue's feelings and emotions will just reinforce and supplement what I already am and fill in the gaps I've missed by not actually being a girl."
"Okay, just sit back, relax, and close your eyes," Kylie said.
Heather followed the directions. Once she was settled in she felt Kylie gently touch her mind. Almost instantly the girlish feelings and emotions flooded into her mind like a tsunami. For a few moments she felt as if she were free-falling, spinning in circles until the new information settled into appropriate compatible pockets throughout her mind. Then even as she began to sense the foreign feelings they began to merge with hers. Many matched her feelings perfectly, most of those that didn't were quite similar. Only a few seemed awkward and out of place, most of those she accepted and they merged into her id, a few felt too foreign so these she successfully isolated, able to access them if needed without letting them function unconsciously.
"Wow, that's amazing," Heather exclaimed after about ten minutes as she opened her eyes. "I was able to sort them and isolate the few I didn't feel comfortable with but the others were good fits and are already merging with me. Thanks a lot!"
"I'm glad I could help," Kylie smiled. "You know, Heather, I think we could become good girl friends. I could really use someone who knows about my abilities to talk things over. I'd like to be able to help people, just like I'm helping you, but doing so and keeping my secret won't be easy. Once I’ve 'officially' mastered dancing, I bet we could do some great performances. You play and improvise like you did Christmas Eve and by linking, I'll be able to dance to whatever you play as you play it!"
"That does sound like fun," Heather replied. "I'd love to be your girl friend! I knew I was on the right track trying to be your friend before you were hurt, my timing was just a bit off."
"I'm sorry for ignoring you in school," Kylie apologized. "Your persistence almost broke down my walls. In a few more weeks you might have succeeded. I so wanted a friend but was too angry to even try."
"It's okay," Heather replied. "I understand how messed up you were. You're just so lucky you're really a girl."
"And a boy," Kylie added. "I'm both and remember how terrible it felt to HAVE to be a boy. I'll do all I can to help you transition into girlhood. I've made a lot of friends already so I'm pretty sure we'll be able to keep you safe. DJ said he'll get the guys from the football team to look out for you."
"Wow, thanks," Heather smiled.
“Thank the guys when you’re ready to begin your real life test,” Kylie chuckled. “When you see Dr. Alterson, be open and honest and don’t try to snow her. Just be yourself, coupled with what I gave you, it should be more than enough to convince her you’re a transsexual.”
“Kylie, I don’t know how to thank you for all you’ve done for me,” Heather sniffed in happiness.
“Seeing you happy is my reward. Go ahead and cry, girl,” Kylie smiled. “It just proves we’re doing the right thing.”
Heather let her emotions free and cried. When Kylie opened her arms offering a hug, Heather didn’t hesitate.
*****
Kylie did a lot of thinking after Heather left. Had she done the right thing by downloading Jennifer Sue's girlish essence into Heath? If he hadn't truly been transsexual, he certainly was now! Of course she really felt confident that he was already a transsexual which is why she'd done it. But she knew that transsexuals had a rough time being accepted and felt bad for the dangers Heather would face. This added to her concern for helping Heather.
So far, Kylie had not met any real hostility in her transition, but felt that was because she had made herself intersexed. There were many students and a few teachers who were piously indignant, but not sure how to deal with her intersexuality. Of course, still retaining Kyle's physical abilities also helped intimidate opposition. About a third of the school avoided her as much as possible since they considered her a freak but other than a few snide remarks, nothing out of hand had happened.
Kylie recalled her own transformation from normal boy to intersexed. It hadn't been painful. Could she do the same for Heather? Yes, she thought she could. The real question was should she do it? She sent an astral tentacle to follow Heather and see how things went.
*****
Linda was quite concerned about Heath's visit to Kylie's home. It was the first time Heath had ever went to the home of a classmate. She was glad Kathy had gone to a friend’s home for the day so she could concentrate on Heath’s needs. It was quite a relief when she heard Heath whistling a merry tune and smiling as he entered the house after parking his bike in the garage. Linda was quite relieved knowing he must have had a pleasant time visiting Kylie. "I take it you had a good time?"
"Yeah! Kylie is so nice and so is her family. Even DJ was nice to me," Heath bubbled. "Kylie and I talked a lot and she agrees that I'm a transsexual. Mommy, I know you don't want me to jump into this but I feel compelled to go as rapidly as I can. I'm a girl and I need to become the best girl I can be. I can't even think of myself as a boy anymore. Please, could you at least start calling me Heather?"
"I guess I can," Linda said with reservations clearly evident in her voice and a little shocked that Heath had called her mommy, something he'd not done since kindergarten. "But I'd really rather wait until tomorrow after you see the doctor."
"Okay," Heather answered a bit dejectedly. "But I'm already Heather and I'm going to act and behave like the girl I am inside. Actually, that's not really much different from how I've always behaved but I'll be less afraid to be who I am. I never realized how I repressed myself until Kylie helped me understand I really am a girl. The genie's out of the bottle and there is no putting her back inside! So, mommy, what can I do to help you?"
"Well, you can help me clean," Linda smiled deciding she liked being mommy again.
Heather dove right in, eagerly helping her mom clean the house. When those chores were done, Heather looked at her mom. "I'd like to make supper tonight. Will you please teach me how?"
"Of course," Linda happily replied. "I'll direct and you do the work. That way you'll learn quicker."
Kathy came home from a fun play-day to find her mother and new sister happily doing housework. She was glad there would be another person helping with the chores.
When Keith arrived home he was glad to see Heath happily helping his mother prepare supper. "I take it you had a good time visiting Kylie?"
"Yeah, it was great," Heather enthused. "Even DJ accepted me as a transsexual. He said he'd get the guys from the football team to watch out for me when I transitioned! Daddy, I'm not Heath anymore. I'm a girl now and can never go back to being a boy. Mommy said she wanted to wait until after I see the shrink tomorrow but I really want to be called Heather afterward."
Keith was surprised by the usage of mommy and daddy. While he knew it was the terminology girls often used, it still seemed a bit odd as he still hadn't completely accepted that Heath was transsexual.
"If the doctor agrees you're transsexual, we'll call you Heather," Linda quickly responded giving Keith a look that indicated no disagreement would be allowed.
Keith wisely took the hint and was pleasantly surprised that the meal was so good. "Well, I must say, the food was good. You did a good job on your first attempt."
"Thanks, daddy," Heather replied. "But I couldn't have done it without mommy's guidance. She's a good teacher!"
“Heather can keep helping mom with the cooking and cleaning,” Kathy added. “She needs the practice to make up for all the years we thought she was a boy.”
“Nice try, Kathy,” Keith chuckled. “But you’re still going to help with the chores.”
Kathy knew better than to push her luck so she nodded her acquiescence with a guilty smile.
After cleaning up, Heather spent the evening with her dad in the garage working on the truck. "After all, a girl should know something about mechanical stuff," she'd stated calmly.
*****
That evening as Kylie lay in bed thinking of Heather and the reaction of her parents to her firm declaration that she was a girl, information she'd gathered from her astral tag. After an hour of self argument, she settled on a decision. If she really wanted to help her new friend, she should make her intersexed. Kylie fell asleep knowing her astral self would discreetly start Heather’s transition.
The astral tag swelled to a tentacle and slipped into Heather's slumber and dreams. It was spring with the flowers in bloom and leaves sprouting on the trees. Heather wore a cute denim jumper as she skipped to into the forest to her favorite oak tree. Climbing up the tilted trunk she settled into her nest and began playing. Frodo came scampering down from the heights to sit and listen as she played her flute. Kylie was almost as mesmerized by the music as Frodo. She had to force herself out of the lethargic fascination to do what she needed to do. With a smile, she left a small tentacle to enjoy the dream doing her best to leave the dream undisturbed while she made the changes to Heather's body.
While still monitoring Heather's dream, she cautiously dipped into Heather's brain seeking out her auto-immune system controls. Ever so cautiously she cautiously slipped fingers from the astral to the physical to activate what she needed. In moments, she had Heather's body sending out instructions to pull stem cells from her testicles, rewire and stimulate them and plant them in the proper places to start the formation of ovaries, uterus, cervix, fallopian tubes, vagina and all the associated female plumbing. She also tweaked Heather's body to copiously feed the budding female organs and to super speed their growth until they were complete. Kylie also ordered Heather’s body to duplicate the 'X' chromosome in all cells to make Heather 'XXY'. If all went as planned, Heath would be fully intersexed in a week. Once everything was moving as directed, Kylie removed the physical contact but left the astral tag to monitor the progress for any errors... and to enjoy Heather’s dream.
Comments
Come Clean - part 2 Second Song of the Kylie Warren Saga
It's evident that she could very easily help other special girls or boys. Would be fun to see her keep on helping those in need of her gifts.
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
Another good chapter..
I do wonder if Kylie is getting in over her head manipulating Heather's anatomy and personality for that matter. It will be fun to see where this take them down the road, and will Heather gain ability in the sharing perhaps?
{{Hugs}}
Frank
Meddlesome girl! :)
Heather is certainly moving in quickly... And with Kylie around... Who knows what may happen!
The tragedy on the field was a catalyst to start Heather's coming together. Just like with Kylie, this incident and its consequences are shared between these two. As is transsexualism, as is their taste in guys, as is their passionate adoration of all things feminine... ;)
Now the only thing left to share is the talent for the supernatural, and they will be like, totally, two peas in a pod! ^_^
So, on a more serious matter, Kylie's discreet alteration of both her and Heather now raises chances they will be noticed. Once is a happenstance, twice is a coincidence. But what happens if someone third is added to the mix?
Also, Kylie once again feels that her choices are going to have consequences. The cause is noble, intentions are of the good variety... But can it be possible that the X chromosome had some kind of defect that was not apparent in an XY but would be effective in a XXY - where X is doubled? Genetics, after all, are the next best to Pandora's Box sometimes.
Faraway
Big Closet Top Shelf
Where you can fool around like you want to and most you get is some bemused good ribbing!
Faraway
Big Closet Top Shelf
Where you can fool around like you want to and most you get is some bemused good ribbing!
And Kylie Was Doing So Well...
...in asking permission first. True, this is the best time for her to do it, assuming Dr Alterson is going to requisition medical tests tomorrow. (As it is, Kylie may need to destroy Heather's previous medical records the way she did for herself, and two isolated sets of missing records will probably be even more difficult to explain benignly than two misdiagnosed IS cases.)
But surely taking an important step like this one would have justified waking Heather up and asking first. (OK, during such a discussion, Kylie would most likely have to admit that she'd previously intersexed herself while her body was in the coma. But I'd expect that she's going to have to tell Heather that sometime soon anyway.)
I'm also a bit annoyed that everyone's suddenly accepting the "likes the flute"/"hates sports" stereotypes as proof of Heath's femininity. I'm not inclined to count it even as supporting evidence.
Anyway, I'm continuing to enjoy the story. And I'm curious as to whether this new vulnerability to others' thought waves that Kylie has found and will now be defending herself against will become significant in the future.
Eric
About stereotypes
Nobody argued them, that's true. But let's face it, stereotypes usually have at least something behind them, and if a person fits the stereotype of what the person aspires to be, it's easier to accept it. Of course, currently rereading Football Girl, I fully realise that is not always the case.
Faraway
Big Closet Top Shelf
Where you can fool around like you want to and most you get is some bemused good ribbing!
Faraway
Big Closet Top Shelf
Where you can fool around like you want to and most you get is some bemused good ribbing!
changing heather
i am not sure about the ethics of changing Heather, but her heart is in the right place. But I wonder if the quick acceptance of Heather's status is not being caused by Kylie, perhaps uncounsiouly?