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I'm vaguely disturbed by supermodel Agyness Deyn's most recent haircut:
She's remarkably boyish in this photo, although I know from other pics that she's remarkably cute and feminine. On some level, I think it might be a challenge to my sense of sexual preference, to know this is the same person.
Just for reference, here's her looking quite a bit more feminine:
and,
In any event, her chameleon-like talents are remarkable, and I think, an encouragement.
Comments
Super girly backlash?
I wonder if she has somehow grown weary of so much attention aimed at her appearance?
I know a young woman who seemingly does everything she can to appear androginous, but she still wears very long skirts, and has hair to the bottom of her ears. She has a Mom who used to be a hypersexual and very promiscuous woman. My friend has a M.Ed and loves children but does not embrace the American ideal of femininity.
Much Peace
Khaduuj
Not surprising
considering makeup alone makes a huge difference.
It is encouraging, yes/no, as few M->F ( not the androgyny crowd ) would have the courage ( yes I include myself ) to look a bit like a boy and risk being called 'sir'. Not surprisingly, women and preadolescent boys can look pretty similar. We all know most post-adolescent adults don't as I well know from personal experience. So is it encouraging that if we look boyish that we can still be called ma'am? Well, that happened to me too in early transition but it had practical problems for me.
I do not honestly believe most people like androgyny. People instinctively want to know the gender of those around them. Women, for their own safety and men, whether or not the person is someone they should be attracted to or might be a young buck come to challenge them somehow, physically or socially.
Yes, people obviously can make their own personal statement, but I suspect that if some unsuspecting person is to come up to her and talk and interact with her in that gamine hair cut, if she is not mentally androgynous, they would not feel she is androgynous except for surface effects only.
Finally, if you are saying that it is encouraging in the sense, crossdressers should realize they can hop back and forth across the genderline merely by surface changes like we see here, well that is a rarer talent from all the CD folks I've met over the 25 years I've been in this community. A lot of times, the real issue for those who basically pass is not the look but the person-to-person interaction that gives them away and is of course the least practiced since they are not women in their day-to-day lives.
And ya know, she really looks like shit with that hair cut. Sorry.
Kim
Agreed
\\I do not honestly believe most people like androgyny. People instinctively want to know the gender of those around them.
Agreed. People gender each other in an instant, whether seeing or hearing them. The inability to do so seems to grate against something in peoples' pysches and makes them really uncomfortable. Maybe it's because if you can't determine someone's gender you don't really know how to interact with them. So many little aspects of interactions change depending on gender.
I have a couple of androgynous looking lesbian friends who wear clothes from the boys department almost exclusively. They are both challenged fairly often in women's restrooms. Generally the women challenging them are still uncomfortable and defensive when they learn my friends are actually women. I'm always surprised when they tell me these stories because that never happens to me when I'm out as Alison. I'm not often read (unless I start talking), but when even when I am read I'm not treated poorly. I think it might be because I am clearly trying to fit into the gender binary so I'm not as much of a threat, but I'm not really sure.
I think that meeting such a person
I would feel uncomfortable and likely bluntly ask whom am I dealing with. To learn how to relate to the person.
Faraway
Big Closet Top Shelf
Where you can fool around like you want to and most you get is some bemused good ribbing!
Faraway
Big Closet Top Shelf
Where you can fool around like you want to and most you get is some bemused good ribbing!
As Yourself
The only way to relate to ANYONE is as yourself, imho. As far as inquiring into someone's gender (and sexual preference?) goes, this shouldn't ever be an issue on first meeting. You should be capable of being pleasant and conversational with everyone. Gender and sexual preference become an issue only if you're sexually attracted to someone and they seem to be open to reciprocation. Otherwise, it should be a non-issue. You should treat people as they wish to be treated.
I've had some of my best sports discussions with butch lesbians, mutually supportive exchanges with FtM's, discussed electronics with gay men, and shared romantic advice with femme lesbians.
If you interact with someone for a while, and still can't guess their gender, but you're not headed to bed together... really, what difference does it make?
Careful Pippa
You're messing with some very important kinks. What fun would life be if we didn't have two distinct genders? Think of all the pleasant bigotry that would eliminate. Where would we direct all of that unused hate?
Nope, all in all I think you better leave it alone and let the world walk around believing if you travel too far in the direction of a myriad of gender choices you'll fall off the edge of the earth.
Isn't ironic that on a site where Wailing Jennys go to moan about intolerance we have people who don't like a person because of the way she chooses to wear her hair. How pitiful.
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
Confused about your comment
\\Isn't ironic that on a site where Wailing Jennys go to moan about intolerance...
What do you mean, Angela?
What difference? Not a lot.
Because by that time you likely know how a person prefers to be treated. Unfortunately, if this choice of appearance is voluntary, it serves to confuse people, one way or another, and confused people are not often content. Which is why I would ask that question early on - to resolve this confusion.
People usually learn how to treat someone on a 'category' basis, simply for convenience, and only later add personalised responses after getting to know someone. And many find it easier to start with some framework of reactions instead of building it up from scratch. Mind you, many of those 'categories' have little to do with gender and/or sex - a 'law enforcement officer' or a 'higher-up' ones, for example, are universal in this regard, and usually have a higher priority over other 'categories' as well.
Faraway
Big Closet Top Shelf
Where you can fool around like you want to and most you get is some bemused good ribbing!
Faraway
Big Closet Top Shelf
Where you can fool around like you want to and most you get is some bemused good ribbing!
Maybe gender does not matter?
I just had coffee with either a FtM, or butch Lesbian, and I still do not know which. I've known her for a while, but on a very casual basis. I have come to the conclusion that if they are friendly and can talk intelligently, then their gender does not matter much to me. The person talked well on the subjects we were interested in, so it did not matter.
Much Peace
K
But gendering can be important
While I agree that it doesn't matter what gender a person would like to be identified as (including something other than strictly male or female), it can be a bit confusing, even for those of us who always have gender on the mind. And for those who don't usually think much about gender but still want to be respectful, I'm sure androgynous people present quite a challenge. You know, in coversation you can come to a point where you need to use a pronoun and you want to get it right. That's not being disrespectful, quite the opposite. Asking can be a way to show you respect the person if done right. A number people who know me as Al and Alison have tactfully asked me upfront what I would like to be called and under what circumstances. It has always made me feel valued, but it is always clear to me that it takes courage for the other person to ask.
A black q-tip?
That's what she looks like with that haircut. I'm sorry, but her face is a bit too sharp and narrow for my tastes, and whacking off her hair makes her look (to me) a bit like a butch toilet brush.
I'll get a life when it's proven and substantiated to be better than what I'm currently experiencing.
She is so f'n cute!
She looks just like my ex-girlfriend except her hair is darker. So vulnerable, too.
I like her a lot.