I am still in shock. I don't know what to do. It takes these things a while to sink in with me, some sort of delayed reaction or something, perhaps owing to a head injury that I suffered while I was practicing my diving skills out a third story window as an infant of 3.
Over the years since my transition I had a very rough time, but have in the last year or so been able to start a new life and have made many friends both online and in the real world. Here, only a couple people know I am T and they have told me to just shut up and not talk about it. There are more than a dozen other people who are my friends and we have not spoken of it and I do not intend to.
I have worked hard to reconnect with the family and on Easter, my son called me to wish me happy easter. But, his parting shot left me in tears and shattered. Well I recovered from that and yesterday, after having worked for a long time,to reconcile, my eldest daughter called me. She proceeded to tell me things like "I want my Dad back", and various Histronic behaviors. I thought I had pretty much calmed her down; showing her that there was indeed two sides to every story. The idea of my going back is about as practical as making a pig fly.
So, I have a separate identity on Facebook, completely different name. Actually had two different Facebook pages, one using the name you all know, and another using a very exotic Middle Eastern name. Well, owing to my own stupidity, she became aware of both pages and came on my Middle Eastern page and proceeded to splash all over it that I am a Man!
Well, hopefully I found it fast enough, and I blocked her. It completely blind sided me. I had no idea that she would do something like that. I am waiting for the aftershocks now.
Gwen
Comments
No you're not
If someone asks "Are you a man?" tell the truth "No I'm not"
If they have the nerve to ask were you, put them on the defensive and say "Excuse me? You didn't just ask me that did you?" (with tears to really make them feel bad)
Maybe that's just me, but I would keep it simple, and put them off balance.
Thanks Frank
I'm not too good about thinking about my own problems; can't see the forest for the trees. Thank you for the ideas. Maybe just gun decking it will be better than sitting here acting all guilty and crying.
:)
Gwen
Of course
It's quite obvious that the person that posted that garbage really wasn't you friend.
Gwen,
You might consider checking FB your security settings. Apparently your settings allow "Friends of Friends" to post on your Wall... You might want to lock it down a wee bit tighter, to avoid this in the future.
Myself... I'm waiting for the time where my brother does something like this to me. Having recently come out to him, and him being in most ways a bigot. So far (three weeks and counting) he's not done so, but...
Best of luck to you,
Annette
Yeah, she wasn't a friend. She's my daugher,
This blind sided me. It was today that I finally accepted that I did not raise them right. I was not a good father and they have taken after me. I spent most of my life being bitter and angry at my step father about my childhood, and now they are just following after me.
Well, they aren't Christians.
Gwen
Response
Why not make the same claim on her page? If nothing else it makes the situation a he said, she said issue at which point no one will know whom to believe and are more likely to dismiss it as a cat fight. Just a thought.
Good luck although i'm sure you'll come out of this just fine.
El Guapo
Does she want you back or is this religiious window dressing?
You know what I mean. Is she is doing her *Christian duty* by trying to covert her wayward Dad back to the fold.
The poor deluded women who desperate and vulnerable after an assault turns to a faith-based solution and *forgive* their rapist and refuse to bring charges as a *good Christian*.
Or she is a vindictive prick out to punish you as a blasphemer of the faith..
If she really wants you back, isolating you from the new few friends you have made since Mom and co kicked you out seems not the way to win your love again.
Either she loves you as a person and after some adjustment realizes you are her dad just female or s=he is not worthy of the honorary title of daughter and you can cheerfully smear her reputation as she has proven she cares nothing of your safety/happiness. Tell the bitch to go to hell, after attacking HER Facebook page and informing the world she is a closet lesbian.
Fair is fair. If she cares nothing for you, why protect her?
If you don't wish to lower yourself to her filth, just tell the truth then get a new page and shut the old one down
Maybe she DOES miss her Dad but she at best sure fucked up in how to get you back.
Sometimes you need to cut your losses.
John in Wauwatosa
John in Wauwatosa
I won't retaliate
But I want to. Things like this just get worse and worse if one person doesn't just walk away from it and I guess that will be me. I blocked her on Facebook and my email. I'll know not to answer blocked phone numbers in the future but there is a problem because when the VA calls me, they are always blocked. :(
I agree Gwen don't retaliate.
You don't want to be at war with the kids and it wouldn't help correct any damage (if there is any) from her attack on FB. That's why I suggested to keep it simple be yourself...a woman. And if they try and go into your past, show great hurt and even being asked and make them feel stupid for asking it. Just keep it simple and and remember it is your past, no one else's to share unless you let them.
{{Hugs}}
Frank
I am so sorry things have degenerated to this point...
...and I know from experience as I expect everyone else does here that it takes two to make a relationship. However, I also know from experience that nothing in life regarding relationships is irretrievable as long as one person continues to reach out. She may remain wrong in her thinking and her approach, and her actions have been hurtful and damaging, but she still is your daughter.
No one can be disappointed if they have no expectations. You are disappointed that your daughter thought so little of you and your life as to do such a harmful thing. That you remain disappointed might indicate that you still want a relationship with your child. Keep reaching out. Retaliating at this point just pushes her further away and gives her ammunition for her misguided opinion of you. You can be the bigger person in this, Gwen. My prayers to you!
She was born for all the wrong reasons but grew up for all the right ones.
Con grande amore e di affetto, Andrea Lena
Love, Andrea Lena
Today, I returned to living as a Man
Don't really care to talk about. Wish me luck.
Gwen Now Sayeed.