Well, once again, I am reminded not to make decisions when in the middle of a depressive episode. Thanks to everyone who encouraged me to keep writing, I am feeling better emotionally. Besides I have a story to share, and I dont know any group who would "get" it like you guys and gals will, or so I hope.

The story of "Gregor Ivan Kiev" (not his real name) "Gregor" was a very intersting character. He had been a friend of my brothers before we moved to Denver. They exchanged tapes instead of letters, and I got a chance to get to know him at first through those tapes. He had been born "Mike", but he had a very strange condition. He apparently felt like a Russian born in a Canadian body, and changed his name. My real introduction to him really started when we moved back, and I found out he also had a female side, named "Racheal" I cannot tell you if he felt like a woman, or just enjoyed dressing up, but just the fact that he blurred gender roles made me feel a connection. He introduced me to a number of magazines with TG themes, usually sexual in subject matter. It really opened my eyes, to know that there were others who felt at least a little like me, although most of them still wanted to retain their male parts, and I didnt. But that was the start of my journey into understanding what I was, where before I didnt have the words to describe what I felt. It has been, in the words of somebody famous, a long strange trip, and its just the begining.