English Spelling Skills
by Puddin'
No less a respected figure than Mark Twain, notable American author and raconteur, has offered a coherent plan for the simplification of English spelling such that, in a few short years, everyone will be fully literate and perfectly capable of spelling to a level that any English speaker could easily win at least local spelling bees.
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A Plan for the Improvement of English Spelling
by Mark Twain
For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped to be replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x" would no longer be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which "c" would be retained would be the "ch" formation, which will be dealt with later. Year 2 might reform "w" spelling, so that "which" and "one" would take the same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish "y" replasing it with "i" and Iear 4 might fiks the "g/j" anomali wonse and for all.
Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12 or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants. Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez "c", "y" and "x" -- bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez -- tu riplais "ch", "sh", and "th" rispektivli.
Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.
Comments
ef ou sai so
I hope to be dead before this really gets put into action.
In our alphabet there is teamwork even though the letter I is there is does not survive alone.
Jill Micayla
Be kinder than necessary,Because everyone you meet
Is fighting some kind of battle.
Jill Micayla
Be kinder than necessary,Because everyone you meet
Is fighting some kind of battle.
It's a joke...
...and not actually by Mark Twain, although commonly attributed to him, probably because he actually was an advocate of spelling reform, so this is a tiny bit of vengeance.
It seems likely that it was one of several spoofs created under several pseudonyms by a man named W. K. Lessing.
Cheers,
Puddin'
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Cheers,
Puddin'
A tender heart is an asset to an editor: it helps us be ruthless in a tactful way.
--- The Chicago Manual of Style
English Grammar
I do appreciate this and the following post for bringing forward one of the most notable errors many new writers fall victim to. Read instead of Red instead of Read instead of reed. Each are words that will pass most if not all spelling checkers and most grammar checkers. There are so many double meaning or double spelling words in English that it's no wonder there is trouble.
Butt win ewe reed them ewe jest half two cringe. Their iss nothing lyke thee English lang-gauge four con fuzzing neu riders. Win ewe due ewe jest git yer fillings hertz.
Argh, that was HARD. Still, should we keep our mouths shut, or gently correct while trying to find something good to say?
For me, I don't know, so I usually just keep my mouth shut.
Beth
Nassim Nicholas Taleb and The Black Swan
There is a very talented writer, the Nassim Taleb of the title bar, who glories in typos and refuses to change them, even when they are pointed out to him. Here's his web site:
http://www.fooledbyrandomness.com/
As he points out in his footnotes page:
He considers his own typos to be part of his idiosyncratic thought process, and refuses to let any editor touch one word. Of course, he's one of those bloody geniuses who writes and speaks in a dozen languages, more or less, so perhaps he has a point. How does any editor know exactly what you meant to say? I disagree about his general point, and he allows his books to be translated into those languages he doesn't speak, so obviously he can be swayed by monetary considerations, and he's a bit of a curmudgeon, and so more irascible than most. I quite like editors, as a general rule, and depend upon them, just as I would depend upon my fellow human beings to tell me that I had egg on my face, or my slip was showing.
Errors and all, I highly recommend anything of his you might run across, but especially The Black Swan and Fooled by Randomness.
Nassim Nicholas Taleb
Cheers,
Puddin'
A tender heart is an asset to an editor: it helps us be ruthless in a tactful way.
--- The Chicago Manual of Style
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Cheers,
Puddin'
A tender heart is an asset to an editor: it helps us be ruthless in a tactful way.
--- The Chicago Manual of Style