Alis, the King and Queen’s personal healer examined Deirdre with a slight smile on her face while watching other disrobe. “You have changed a lot, Your Grace, since I last examined you.”

“True enough.” Deirdre agreed with a hint of resignation in her voice, but suddenly smiled. “But it has put me together with my soulmate, so I suppose I shouldn’t complain, should I?”

---

“Home.” Deirdre watched the sprawl of Jhalmar appear out of the mist as Princess entered the harbor. “It’s so good to see this again, Garret. It feels as if I’ve been gone for years instead of a few months.”

“A lot has happened since we left.” Her intended and love answered quietly as he gathered her into his arms. “You aren’t the same person who left this city, and neither am I.”

She snuggled and pressed her side against his. “I know, but so much has happened, so many things have changed. Is this still home? Or have I lost that with all the other losses and the gains? Oh, by the way, the gains are wonderful, but is this city still home for me?”

“We’ll see once we dock, my love.”

“I don’t want the people’s adoration, Garret.” She answered quietly. “I just want to feel like I’ve come home. Is that so much to ask?”

“No darling, it isn’t.” He answered slowly. “But neither one of us is going to avoid the adoration of the people here. I’m the prince and you’re the princess, and you have already captured the hearts and imaginations of the people with your — umm — exploits.”

“Well, things happen.” She smirked then turned serious again. “I wish I was just an unremarked street urchin again, though. Anonymity isn’t such a bad thing you know.”

“I never had that luxury.” Garret told her. “And now, neither do you, love. But this is still home for you if you want it to be.”

“I may be a Duchess now, with lands and a noble father who not only claims me, but loves me, my mother, and sister.” She sighed while watching the dock grow closer. “But this is HOME, Garret. I grew up in this city, in her streets, alleys, dives, bazaars, and everything else. I just hope it still feels like home once I’m standing on her streets again.”

“I’m sure it will, dear one.” Garret reassured her. “You’ve changed, and probably your perceptions of things have, too. But home is home. I feel the same way about Chalmnessa. Things like that we never lose even if everything around us appears to change.”

“Yes.” She nodded moving closer into his arms. “This is where it all started, everything that has pushed, pulled, and chased me into what I am now.”

“So, do I hear regrets in that?”

“No.” Snuggling even closer, if that could be accomplished, she let out a shuddering sigh. “It’s just that at times, even now -- especially now, I feel like some scared little girl playing at something she was never meant to become at all.”

“First.” Gently turning her to face him and tilting her chin so she was looking up at him. “Though you are small in stature, there is now, and never has been anything either little or scared about you, dearest.

Second.” Placing a finger softly against her mouth to stop the burgeoning protest, he went on. “You are not now, nor ever have been playing at anything. You are doing, and quite well, I might add. You were born to be a queen, my love, and that shows in every motion, every expression on your face, every gesture and all that you’ve done since that first day I chose you in the arena.”

“But…”

“Hush.” He quietly told her. “You’ve won the hearts of more people in a few months than most people manage to do in a long life, and those hearts, along with the people around them, not only love you, they would follow you into anything.”

“And die for their trouble.” She spat back while eyeing the recent repairs to the ship around them.

“No, love.” He answered fiercely while turning her to look at the crew working on docking the vessel. “Never say that again. Some people die regardless of circumstances and that is a terrible fact of life that everyone has to face some time or another. Instead of blaming yourself for deaths you could do nothing about, think of those you’ve saved. Your father, Anthalas — both quite literally, your mother from a loneliness she never really admitted to feeling, the people of Lindsay from a bad lord and a scheming, traitorous lady. And lastly, me.”

A few sniffles, and a soft sob later, she let out a long breath and nodded. “I suppose you’re right, Garret. I need to stop sniveling like a child and get on with the business of living, but I’ll never forget the others, the ones I didn’t save.”

“I’m not asking you to do that, dear.” He told her. “If you did you’d be less than you already are and so much potential would be lost. Have I told you how much I love you recently?”

“Not for at least an hour.” She smirked and pulled his face down for a long, slow kiss.

The couple noted that crewmen and officers were studiously watching things in other directions than towards them once they came up for air.

“Oh, I think we may have embarrassed a few people here.” Deirdre chuckled.

“Actually,” Garret grinned, “I believe I detect some barely hidden smiles there.”

“Your Highness, Your Grace.” Captain Wolfe formally bowed to both of them as Garret and Deirdre prepared to disembark from Princess Deirdre. “It has once again been my honor to serve and convey you safely to your destination. My crew wishes to pass along their own good wishes to both of you and their thanks, especially to you, your Grace.”

“Me?” Deirdre smiled uncertainly. “I didn’t really do much on this voyage other than stand around. Once I got over being sea sick again, that is.”

"Really, Your Grace?" Captain Wolfe disagreed with a smile. "You gave us courage, kindness and compassion when we needed it most." He paused as he came to a solemn decision. "We are your men, call and we 'will' come."

Followed by resounding cheers from the vessel she was leaving, Deirdre walked down the gangway on Garret’s arm, straight backed, head held high, and unashamed of the tears streaming down her cheeks.

“This wedding stuff is getting to be kind of a pain, you know. Ouch!” Deirdre observed grumpily then jumped as a pin wielded by Katrina jabbed into her bottom before settling a gimlet stare on the seamstress. “I hadn’t meant literally, you know.”

“If you don’t hold still,” Katrina responded without withering the slightest under her former apprentice’s glare, “You’re going to be covered in little scabs from needle wounds on your wedding night. Wouldn’t Garret love that?”

“Oh, he’d be rolling on the floor and I’d never hear the end of it.” The newly confirmed Duchess of Lindsay grumbled then chuckled. “I’d have to hit him with a chamber pot or something, and I think hitting a prince is something that could get me in trouble.”

“You’ll be a princess by then, dear.” Katrina pointed out. “And married to the man, so if he dared laugh at you on your wedding night, anything he got as a result would be considered justified.”

“There is that.” Deirdre nodded then yelled in surprised pain again. “You knew I was moving that time and still stuck me!”

“Discipline, dear, discipline. A princess should be regal and composed at all times.” Katrina chuckled evilly. “And don’t be such a wimp, a few needle pricks for the finest wedding gown seen in centuries is a small price to pay.”

“I think if I’d stayed your apprentice for long, things would have gotten really interesting.” Deirdre told the seamstress.

“Oh, I’m sure they would have, dear.” Katrina answered without expression then grinned. “Even as a boy you had a temper, and I even saw it off and on.”

“I can’t help being what I am.” The raven tressed beauty who had once thought she was a boy, grumped. “Garret says I’m almost constantly in the woman’s killing frenzy, whatever that is.”

“Just something men don’t understand, dear,” Katrina laughed, “So they tend to tread very softly when we are glowering at innocent flower pots and things like that.”

“I noticed that.” Deirdre answered then actually giggled. “When I’m that way, Garret either dances around anything I’m mad about, or just goes hunting.”

“You have yourself a very smart man there, dear.” Katrina smirked. “Don’t lose him.”

“Oh, I went to way too much trouble to catch him.” The Duchess of Lindsay laughed. “I’m definitely NOT going to chase him off just before our wedding. Besides, he already knows all my little quirks. Damn, I’m going to need to figure out a few more just to keep him off balance.”

“That’s my girl.” Katrina approved.

“You are so beautiful!” Ilene breathed as she watched Deirdre get out of the bath.

“I’m still me, little sister.” Deirdre grinned.

“But you aren’t my big brother any longer.” The other young woman, who mirrored Deirdre’s beauty sadly answered.

“I don’t think I ever was, really.” Deirdre hugged her sister. “I never was that masculine at the best of times, you know that. But no matter, I haven’t left you and I never will.”

“I know, but you’ve changed so much.”

“Ilene, no one is more surprised, or shocked at the changes I’ve gone through recently than I am, but you’re still my little sister and I love you as much as I ever did. That will never change.”

“But…”

“Come here.” Deirdre pulled her sister to stand in front of mirror and made her stand there with her new sister standing beside her. “Now tell me truthfully. Which one of those girls is more beautiful?”

Ilene, also freshly out of the bath, actually compared the two images in the mirror. “I don’t know. But you were my…”

“Brother.” Deirdre answered softly while giving the younger girl a hug. “I know. But I’m never going to be your brother again, and no matter how beautiful I am now — uncomfortable as that for me is at times — you are my equal.”

They nearly looked like twins in the mirror, and the slightly taller one tightened her hug on the smaller one. “You are a real and rare beauty, little sister. Never let anyone tell you differently.”

“We look like mother.” Ilene observed.

“Embarrassing as that was for me earlier,” Deirdre nodded, “I am proud of that now. Our mother was and is again, a very beautiful woman. Even better, she is now legally married to our real father.”

“She’s a Baroness, now.” Ilene marveled. “And you are a Duchess, soon to be a real Princess and eventually a queen. How can I possibly equal that?”

“You don’t have to try.” Deirdre whispered while hugging her sister tightly. “You are nobly born, have a wonderful marriage in the future, and are simply you with a man who dearly loves you. Do you need anything else, dear sister?”

“No.” Ilene answered with a smile. “I don’t think I do.”

“By the way.” Deirdre smirked. “I hate your bridesmaids dresses.”

“Then get even when you get married.” Ilene smirked.

“Hearing that, no one would ever doubt that we’re related, dear sister.” Deirdre laughed.

“How many more of these do we have to do?” Deirdre grumbled while fussing with her skirts before Garret led her into the entry hall of yet another noble’s home. “I swear, if I ever see another piece of eel wrapped in sweet dough, I’ll throw up then scream.”

“People want to see their future Queen and King.” Garret shrugged as he gave her a grin that showed weariness equal to hers.

“Especially since that future Queen is such a ‘colorful’ individual.” The dark haired hellion smirked then sighed.

“True.” Garret chuckled. “Just don’t threaten anyone with dismemberment by dull desert spoon tonight. That was a bit embarrassing.”

“Only because I also offered to do it to the oaf right there for everyone else’s edification and entertainment.” Deirdre laughed in response. “Besides, that idiot deserved worse. I’m surprised you didn’t call him out for groping me like that.”

“It’s politely called being too familiar, dear.” Garret blandly answered then grinned. “Though your solution for stopping it was more or less unique. I didn’t need to ‘call him out. I think it took the healers an hour to reattach the poor man’s nose to his face.”

“You’re exaggerating again.” She glared at him. “I only cut him a little.”

“With a — how did you put it? Oh, yes. A spoon so dull that it wouldn’t frighten an overripe melon.”

“But I’ll bet he never grabs another lady in that particular part of her anatomy.”

“Probably not.” Garret agreed.

Their presence was announced and the soon-to-be royal couple girded themselves to enter yet another ball held in their honor.

Leila watched her newest daughter primping in front of a mirror and smiled with a little sigh. “Are you happy as you are now, dear?”

“You’d better believe it.” Deirdre answered while moving a stray lock of her midnight hair back where it belonged. “I have someone I love more than life itself, and he returns that to me in kind. Becoming as I am also got you and father back together, so no matter how much I may have protested in the beginning of all this, that alone would be worth all of what I’ve gone through.”

“For that I thank you and will be doing so for the rest of my life.” Leila answered truthfully then pressed on with her questions. “But do you regret not growing into a man at all?”

“I’ll always wonder ‘what if’ when I think about that.” The younger woman answered slowly. “But truth be told here, I wouldn’t ever have been much of a man and you know that as well as I do. Why else would you have consented to apprenticing me with Katrina?”

‘I was only trying to find you a place where you would fit.” Leila answered with a little sigh. “As thing were going you would have wound up in some kind of very unsavory circumstances no matter what you tried doing. So, yes, I always knew you weren’t meant to be a male, but what else could I do?”

“Nothing Mother.” Deirdre moved to hug the older woman and clung to that hug for a while. “Events have proven that you did the right thing for me. So no regrets from you or me on that, all right?”

“You have proven to be a quite remarkable young woman.” Leila nodded while holding her new daughter in gentle arms. “You are what, all of sixteen now?”

“Some people grow up faster than others.” Deirdre shrugged but didn’t let go of the hug she still maintained with her mother. “I turned out to be one of those through events that simply forced me to do so.”

Leila carefully disengaged the hug, stood back and really looked at her daughter. “You have done that, dear one. You are already a quite formidable young woman and will make a magnificent queen when your time to do that arrives. I’m so proud of you, my very beautiful and willful daughter.”

“What more could a child ask of her parent?” Deirdre asked softly with a brilliant smile for her mother.

“Unconditional love?”

“You always gave me that, and don’t try to deny it.”

“Though I considered beating you senseless at times, yes I did. Son, daughter, or something between, you are my child and I will always love you.”

“That,” The girl/woman nodded with another smile, “is all anyone could ever ask of a parent and I return that love without reservation.”

“If this isn’t good news, Lenthalis,” Deirdre mildly told her secretary, “I’ll just kill you now and advertise for a replacement later.”

The functionary had gotten used to his lady over time and only smirked at that while he bowed, careful not to let her see his amusement. “Oh, it isn’t bad news, your Grace. I have the accountings from Lindsay for you.”

“And?”

“Given the rather mild taxes you insisted on imposing to offset the ruinous ones that had been in place, the people adore you, and you are still what could be indelicately called filthy rich already.”

“Oh?”

“Production has increased in manufacturies, and smaller businesses,” the secretary told her, and the production from livestock has tried to contest the gods for heights it is reaching.”

“Interesting.” Deirdre nodded with the implicit command for the man to go on.

“Even with the minimal, and very lenient taxes you demand, Your Grace,” the man grinned, “Your personal revenues, even after upkeep on the castle, roads, etc. surpass anything Lindsay has produced for a ruler in living memory.”

“Ahh.” She smiled. “It is an old saying I grew up with, Lenthalis. Give a man, or woman the means to make a better life for themselves and their children and they will provide for more than simply their family.”

“Indeed, Your Grace.” The man agreed. “You and your father are already much loved rulers in your duchy.”

“Ruling is a responsibility, my friend.” Deirdre let out a sigh. “Not a privilege. Abuse your power and you lose, no matter how powerful you may think you are.”

“As you have already amply shown in your treatment of your subjects, Your Grace.” He agreed.

“Do you like working for me, Lenthalis?” She questioned.

“I have never experienced an employer, lord, or lady, who is more fair and caring than you are, Your Grace.” The man answered then added. “I will admit that serving someone who actually exercises wisdom and compassion in their decisions is a pleasure.”

“Thank you, Lenthalis.” She smiled then waved to a table already laden with correspondence. “Just put the report there with the rest of the stuff, and I’ll go through it once things settle a bit more.”

“Very good, Your Grace.” The man bowed and did as instructed. “Will there be anything else you require of me just now?”

“No, take some time for yourself now.” She told him then put a stern look on her pretty face. “That is an order from your Duchess.”

“With pleasure, Your Grace.” He answered then added. “But if there is need, have someone find me and I will be here immediately.”

“I seem to be getting that from a lot of people lately.” She laughed while waving him out of the room. “Go. Have some fun, relax for a while. I’m sure things won’t fall apart before tomorrow morning simply because you are taking a break.”

The man gave her a respectful and heartfelt bow before he left the room.

“This new type ship the Jhalmarans possess is quite devastating in combat.” One of those gathered at the table told the others. “It and two sloops destroyed the majority of our existent fleet even if one of the sloops was sunk. This alone has set our timetable back by months, possibly years.”

“I do not accept excuses for failure.” Their leader reminded the man, enjoyed how he paled then eased things a bit. “But you’re right. The Princess Deirdre is a most formidable warship and our attack at sea was ill advised. But without the blueprints or reports on performance for the vessel we had no way of knowing just how capable that ship really is in combat. Now that we are aware of that, measures can be taken for next time. It seems that Vertigan has increased the vigilance of his people recently and getting more information on her is most difficult.”

“But we still failed.” Another put in quietly.

“A setback is all.” The leader shrugged.

“Enough of those and you may find yourself in an unenviable position.” Another put in. “We cannot afford a leader who fails constantly at one of the more important tasks we have right now.”

“We have learned from those failures.” The leader didn’t appear to be discomfited by that all. “And have another option open to us now.”

“Strike at them before the wedding?” One questioned. “How can we manage such a thing with the pair safely in Jhalmar now?”

“I arranged for a team of capable assassins to be placed in the palace itself in the guise of servants newly hired to meet the influx of nobles and other people of importance the upcoming nuptials are bound to bring. But no, I wasn’t thinking of trying to strike at them immediately.”

“Then when do you propose to have these people of yours strike?”

“The wedding.” Their leader calmly told the group. “Or shortly thereafter, when the happy couple will be too busy with each other to note the danger before it is too late.”

“You propose to strike during a royal wedding?” Another questioned incredulously. “That is insanity!”

“Perhaps.” The man at the head of the table nodded without changing expression for a moment then showed the others a predatory grin. “But think of this. Doing this at such a time, if successful, would gain us much more than simply the deaths of those two. The King, Queen, and many others important to the well being of the present regime would also become potential targets. We could dismember the Jhalmaran government in one strike.”

The others couldn’t argue with that logic at all. One, however did have another question. “Just how many people do you have in place for this?”

“More than enough. Was the answer. “All trained specifically in stealth, disguise, and striking from the shadows when the time is right. Even better all of them are so dedicated to our cause that dying for it doesn’t bother them at all.”

Alis, the King and Queen’s personal healer examined Deirdre with a slight smile on her face while watching other disrobe. “You have changed a lot, Your Grace, since I last examined you.”

“True enough.” Deirdre agreed with a hint of resignation in her voice, but suddenly smiled. “But it has put me together with my soulmate, so I suppose I shouldn’t complain, should I?”

“Indeed not, Your Grace.” The healer smiled back. “There is also the little fact that as the midnight haired little hellion you’ve become you’ve won over a great many people, common and noble alike. Not to mention that one day you will be queen, something most who know you, or of you, believe to be a wonderful thing for Jhalmar.”

“Please don’t embarrass me like that.” The Dark haired ‘hellion’ responded with a hesitant smile. “I’ve only done what seems right at the time things came up. There is nothing special about that, is there?”

“Just keep thinking that way, my dear.” Alis answered with a broad smile. “Now, what is your specific complaint?”

“I’m ill in the mornings, and tend to throw up a lot when things that never used to bother me are around. Like the smell of fresh fish sends my stomach into convolutions I never thought I’d feel.”

“I See,” the healer actually smiled wider, “and are there other — difficulties you’ve experienced recently?”

“I’m crankier than usual, and before you say anything, I know that’s saying a lot for me.” Deirdre chuckled. “Even the people closest to me are more than a bit cautious about upsetting me right now, and I don’t think the wedding plans are the whole cause.”

Thought of a ‘crankier than usual’ Deirdre caused the healer’s smile to falter a moment but it reappeared as she gently pressed on the Duchess’ belly and examined her breasts. At the girl’s slight flinch at the last Alis questioned almost conversationally. “Are your breasts a bit tender these days?”

“Yes the girl admitted then winced at that thought. “Even the finest linens feel like sandpaper up against them these days and they ache constantly.

“Well, I could run a few tests, but I think I already know what your problem is and it’s really nothing to worry about, trust me.”

“Nothing to worry about?” Deirdre nearly shouted, then blushed while bringing the volume of her voice down. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Just this.” Alis answered smugly while gently patting the other’s tummy. “You aren’t going through anything other mothers haven’t in the past.”

“Other mothers?”

“Yes, my dear.” Alis chuckled at the totally shocked expression on her patient’s face before finishing. “You’re pregnant, Your Grace.”

Deirdre paled, and nearly fell back onto the padded bench she had been seated on a moment before. “Pregnant? Me?”

“I have to believe so, given what you’ve told me and what I’ve observed today.” The healer nodded. “You my dear lady are definitely ‘With Child’, or ‘In the Family Way’, or whatever terms are also used to describe this condition.”

“Oh. My.” Deirdre put both hands gently on her stomach and gave the healer an almost lost look. “I don’t believe… No I believe it, but I have absolutely no idea of what I should do now, or how to deal with this.”

“No girl does when she first becomes a mother.” Alis soothed. “There are a great many who have experienced this around here to help you through it and I’m certain none of them will stint with either advice or assistance. I only ask that you check with me before trying any of the more outrageous suggestions you will be offered.”

“A mother.” Deirdre shook her head slowly, an expression of awe slowly dawning on her lovely face. “I’m going to be a mother.”

“Yes you are, dear, so you marrying your prince so soon is a good thing, don’t you think?”

“Oh, yes.” Deirdre nodded absently still stroking her still flat stomach.

“I’ll give you some things to help with the morning sickness and mood swings.” Alis told her. “They will make life a bit more bearable for both you and those around you.”

“Yes, please do that.” The dark haired mother-to-be began getting dressed, though she still appeared to be in something of a daze. “I need all the help I can get with this one.”

A preoccupied Deirdre, muttering something about pickles, was escorted back to her chambers and she sent a messenger to find Garret and ask him to come to her as soon as possible.