Survivor's guilt?

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I assume that there is a huge diversity of population here. It seems logical to me that there are or have been every kind of male here from corporate presidents, to Doctors, to Electricians (GAH, that just ruins the neighborhood ! :)) , to men in prison and I know at least two shrinks.

So far as I know, information about any statistical comonalities regarding T folk has not been published, though I have casual knowlege of some traits that we seem to have in common, perhaps.

Well, getting to the point, I served in the US Army from 1966 to 1969 and came down on orders to go over there 4 times, but each time they were cancelled. During my time in the Army, I was really frightened of being killed over there, but I did what I was told and carried out my duties. In retrospect, it may be that someone really wanted me over there but something kept disqualifying me and to say that I am sorry about that would be a lie. If you recall, we did not get a choice about being in the service.

It seemed really important to them that I be broken but I just kept smiling and did what they wanted me to do. Basic and AIT were no physical hardship for me at all. I was 145lbs, and 5'7" and just did it. At one point a seargeant got me alone and screamed at me that he would break me. I just stood there, and said, "You never met my step father did you?" After what many of us experienced at home, what could a DI do do us?

I have thought about my not going from time to time over the years; perhaps survivors guilt; and just can't figure it out, but I am thankful.

So, the question comes to my mind, did they somehow know that I was psychologically unfit for combat or something? Maybe it was just a loving God looking out for me. I can't figure it out.

One of my high school class mates was killed there. Another lost both legs at the knees, and another came back but was very scarred. I thank God for their sacrifice.

Merry Christmas

Khadijah Gwen

Comments

I really can't say why you never went...

Andrea Lena's picture

...I had a very high draft number, and I was never called. It was a scary time back then, even for those who felt called to duty. I can absolutely agree with you that a loving God did protect you. For that I am grateful, since you are alive and here, and I love you like a sister, dear one. I'm glad you were spared even as we may still mourn those who weren't. Be at peace, sweetheart.

She was born for all the wrong reasons but grew up for all the right ones.
Possa Dio riccamente vi benedica, tutto il mio amore, Andrea

  

To be alive is to be vulnerable. Madeleine L'Engle
Love, Andrea Lena

Hi Mom...

...I agree that it's all luck sometimes.

Your Brat

Size Had Nothing to Do With it

At age 15 I was 5' 9" and that didn't stop them from sending me to a Marine rifle squad (Co H, 2nd of the 5th Marines). The NVA didn't seem to much mind I was something of a feather weight either. Only my chain of command became a bit excited when they found out I was in harms way, and that was only because I was underage and had lied about my age when I had enlisted. It seemed that at the time, it was okay to slaughter your fellow human beings but it was a really big no-no to lie to your Uncle.

Consider yourself lucky, hon. The names of far too many of our sisters are on that wall in D.C. I know of at least one that should be there.

Nancy


~ ~ ~

"You may be what you resolve to be."

T.J. Jackson

Khadijah Gwen, Well, I will

Khadijah Gwen,
Well, I will try this again as I hit some button and lost everything I had written. FIRST, I wish to THANK YOU for your Service, REGARDLESS of where you served. ALL those who "step up", honor and defend their country have my total respect. It makes no difference whether they are male or female, or branch of service. I know from personal experience that no-one knows how the "big dart board in the sky" or "The roll of the dice" comes up with who goes into a combat zone or does not go. I have a brother who went to Vietnam TWICE, yet another brother who never left the U.S. and in fact served his entire AF time, other that Basic Training in Texas, in California, 20 miles from where he enlisted.
I also had a roommate who served 8 years in the AF, 4 in Florida and 4 in WA state, again NEVER left the U.S. Who knows why????
Me, I was in Texas, Germany, WA state, California, Vietnam, WA state again, Germany again BEFORE I had 12 years in. Again, Who knows???
You did your Duties as the military branch you were in wanted you to do and where THEY wanted you to be.
I wish to say to you, "Welcome Home and THANK YOU for serving". I also want to say, "May you have a most wonderful Holiday season and a Happy New Year".
Jan (Retired AF)

Your in the Navy now.

I was just minding my own buisness, when a cousin and a friend got us over to the local reserve location. It was '67 and I was on active duty on a tin can headed for the Med. The cousin went to Germany, and stared at computers for his time...the friend turns out to be alergic to wool, and he's out. We left from Newport and it was decks awash and walk on the walls in a WW II tin can. Six months later and we are on our way back. Heading to the yards in Boston, to get ready for a Westpac (Vietnam) deployment. I guess they were looking for more people to trim the hedges (off shore bombardment). When out of the blue, Tricky Dick, decided to trim his budget...and send 10,000 rinks (reservists) home. No one complained. But as people have said, once you are deployed you never know where. Best of the hoildays, Mary.

Stacked deck

One of those little known things, overseas residents were very seldom called up. So my brother registered through the local embassy and never heard another thing until he got his notice in the mail that he was past the time frame (25?) and was reclassified. I was 4F so it didn't matter.

My two oldest brothers both ended up in the Army. The first was a ROTC student, majored in hotel and restaurant administration, and ended up in Ft. Hood eventually, but never went anywhere. My second oldest dropped out of college and volunteered for the draft (somewhere around 65-66). Ended up in Germany doing something (?) with computers. Supposedly it was a Supply job, but the several times my parents were in Germany and went to the base, he wasn't available for one reason or another. Much mystery, I think I mentioned it to Teddi one time and got a virtual raised eyebrow in return. He ended up joining the Air Force a couple of years after getting out of the Army, and retired a few years ago as a major

A heartfelt thanks to you and all the others who served.

Karen J.

"Being a girl is wonderful and to torture someone into that would be like the exact opposite of what it's like. I don’t know how anyone could act that way." College Girl - poetheather


"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin