Violet Commander - The rough draft

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Synopsis:What you are about to read is a dark story that I started a bit ago. I have not finished it yet and about halfway through, you'll see my cliff notes. They are my notes explaining to me how the story goes and you all get to see exactly how my creative process works.

This is set in a Superhero universe, much like Marvel or DC characters would find themselves in, I just made my own and borrowed concepts heavily.
 

Violet Commander

 
By Allystra Krane


The sound of solenoids connecting awoke her from sleep, as it had every morning. Her eyes were open and she sat up, so she would be looking down at the floor just as the lights themselves received enough charge to turn on.

This was the first ten seconds of her day, as it had been every morning for nearly a year.

As her eyes grew used to the light, burning away the stored chemicals in her rods and cones, she waited for the voice that would signal that her jailers were ready to start the morning routine.

"Good morning Violet," came the voice over the address system in her cell. It was of the guard, Linda Sergeant, whom spent more time dealing with her than anyone else.

Linda looked into Violet's cell through the thick, triple panes of nearly unbreakable Lexan.

The woman with naturally colored hair, that had earned her the name 'Violet', was slowly getting to her feet.

Her hair had been shaved off almost a month before, so it was short and almost resembled a small sea urchin with the vivid colors. She was nude and Linda could see the birthmarks on Violet's lower torso that resembled a map of a vague ring of tropical islands.

The cell itself was unfurnished, free of anything that might suggest that someone spent twenty-four hours a day there.

It tugged at Linda that this woman was getting the raw end of a very one-sided deal. Linda's feelings on the subject had recently gotten her in trouble after the warden heard about a conversation she had in the commissary.

The warden had denied the prisoner any sort of possession, including clothing. Despite all the humiliation, she had yet to give up.

Linda watched as Violet slowly faced the wall that housed the window, her posture enforcing the outward signs of her zombie-like emotional state. Linda pressed the talk button on the console in front of her and spoke, "Good morning hon, time for your morning shower."

A panel along the wall to Linda's right slid down, allowing access to a small chamber, with a toilet bowl appearing to be folded up against the wall along the side. The floor was a fairly open grid, with large holes over it's surface. The walls were solid save the one that faced into Linda's control room.

Linda waited until Violet stepped inside, then shut the panel again, effectively locking her in. She turned her chair toward the side wall, giving her a view into Violet's shower and toilet stall.

The first button she pressed allowed the seat to come down out of it's nook and Violet sat down on it.

A minute later, Linda was watching the magnetic imaging feed that showed every inch of the room and Violet inside and out. Violet was not allowed to even leave a ragged fragment of toilet paper a quarter-inch square stuck in her cheeks.

When finished, the toilet flushed and Linda watched the waste pass through six radiation baths, and another scanner, to prove she wasn't trying to smuggle anything out in her stools. The results of the imaging scan flashed a green light on the other panel, but she ignored it. There was never anything but biological waste, ever.

This was all part of Linda's day as a prison guard. She had volunteered to Violet's assignment after the first female guard complained that she could not get Violet to comply each morning.

Violet had a different story though not in words, which Linda found out on her first day on the detail. Violet had proved receptive to kind words and easy tones. She now spent all five days of her shift doing the same routine.

"So, how did Rebecca treat you yesterday?" Linda asked, as she fiddled with the controls.

Violet did not reply, but stood up, finished with the toilet and ready for the next step.

"And Saturday?" Linda asked, knowing she wouldn't hear a word out of the woman. She had never heard her speak in eight months, but Violet had tell-tale signs that Linda was used to reading.

Violet would stop briefly if the recall of memories had been painful and Linda knew what to watch for.

Linda silently and quickly wiped a tear from her eye. "Here comes the water," she said as she pressed the final control.

Warm water began flowing from holes in the ceiling of the entire chamber. It flowed with force enough to feel like a shower but covering every inch, so that Violet could not hide from it.

Linda thought to giving Violet her first shower, many months before. She had watched the reaction as the woman violently shuttered and collapsed into a fetal ball on the floor as the water was turned on. She had immediately stopped it and asked if something was wrong, only to learn through the daily event logs that the previous guard had likened to start off with freezing water, and forced Violet to stand back up and endure it for several minutes.

Logs of activities had verified it and the other guard had been terminated on the spot and immediately jailed herself.

Indeed, Linda gone over the daily logs of all activities concerning Violet that occurred over the weekend, so having to ask was a formality, knowing full well everything that had transpired.

Linda had taken the time to run the water through the buffer system, routing it back on itself, to make sure it had been fully warmed by the heating coils. Not a drop would touch Violet now until Linda was sure it was comfortably hot.

Violet pressed an arrow on the wall of the shower, triggering a light on Linda's panel. Linda nodded and tapped up the temperature three degrees and the light went off as programmed, but Linda's fingers hovered over the button, waiting and sure enough the light went on again.

This occurred every morning. Violet would want the water warmer, and Linda would comply. Violet could withstand hotter temperatures than a normal human, but Linda refused to set it over one hundred and sixteen degrees.

Violet put her palm on the pane of transparent material that boxed her in, a signal that she was ready for the soaping.

Linda sighed and pressed another control that caused the spray to narrow to a smaller jet and the water itself to turn white with foaming soap, which cascaded over the meta-human and she began scrubbing her hair.

More soap-filled jets appeared in the corners of the chamber, hitting her just below the chest all the way down to her knees.

All this effort in place because the Warden had forbidden her from having any possessions, including a bar of soap or a rag to wash with.

The cell was state of the art, with more cameras and imaging monitors than ever before. With just a few key taps, Linda could see Violet's heart pumping, or read her skin's surface temperature.

The latter really upset Linda. Violet may have been evil, but she did not deserve to be cold every day of her life.

Linda broke from her trance to see that Violet had finished scrubbing herself, so she was ready to be rinsed. Back to the full water blast.

Linda left it on for longer than she was required, to which Violet did not protest. She knew the girl was trying desperately to feel warm enough on the inside. The feeling would be fleeting.

Finally the water turned off, and the drying cycle began.

Four large tubes slid down the corners of Violet's current imprisonment and blasted her with warm air, starting at her shoulders and moved down.

Violet lifted one leg and then the other, letting the blasts of air push the water right off of her before they shut off.

Linda turned back to the main panel and opened the door, letting Violet return to her cell.

"No, I'm sorry, but I don't have a food tube this morning. The warden has invited you to breakfast, his treat."

Violet seemed puzzled, by her expression she did not understand what Linda meant.

"It does mean that you actually have to get dressed," Linda said. "I promise you, this was not my idea."

Violet turned and stood in front of the window again. Linda wondered if the woman on the other side stood there every morning and comtimplated if she had the strength to punch through all three layers of Lexan, thus preventing the toxic gas deployment from nearly killing her in her cell.

Violet had been informed how they protected the booth operators on her first day of incarceration, nearly a year before.

The spaces between the layers were vacuums, free of air pressure and upon that breaching, the change in pressure would release neurotoxin into the air of her cell that would leave Violet on a deathbed for a month, despite her meta-human healing and stamina.

Linda set the garment into the sliding tray, where it was scanned as it was sent out to Violet.

Violet picked up the orange Leotard, with the words 'DOMC' and 'Dangerous' written in large black print on both sides.

The leotard was made of special material and the long sleeves that went up and covered all but her index finger and thumb but swimsuit-cut legs were both on purpose.

The one time Violet had lost her composure while in the suit, her electrical powers had actually ran across a specially designed grid on the inside of the suit and had caused three metal plates to heat up quickly, while the rest of the suit had firmly tightened itself against her skin.

Linda knew that the burns on Violet's breasts, buttocks and hairless delta stuck with her for nearly a month. Even the bruises from the batons that they had subdued her with as she had screamed out, trying to pull the suit away from her body, went away in two weeks.

It had been a stark wake up call, proof that she was a toy to the warden, nothing more. It was on that day that she had burrowed her personality deep inside herself and left only a hollow shell to carry on. It was that day she had lost her voice.

No one outside the prison had any idea what was happening to this woman, but even if they did, Linda wondered if they would even care.

Violet slipped into it quickly, even zipping up the front, returning to her position of standing for the window.

Violet had never, after those days event, had a single act of disobience. She would normally have been issued a tube of protein-waining foodstuffs, which Linda was sure had no taste whatsoever and she would consume it with no fervor or emotion. She would then retreat to the corner of her cell, sit and pull her knees up to her face and close her eyes. She would maintain this position, unmoving, for most of the day.

Today was different. Violet had only been asked to put on the suit twice since her outburst and Linda had gone to great lengths to get her into it so that the Warden could show her off to visiting honored guests.

Other prison wardens, Linda had assumed, there to marvel at his job of containing the most vile villain in existence.

Linda knew that she could walk into the cell at this point and Violet was no greater threat to her than a drop of rain. The criminal that may have once resided behind those eyes was long gone.

She had taken the one secret with her that would have, possibly, changed everything for her.

The location of the kidnapped Commander.

The Commander was a noble, selfless hero who had charmed most of Mega City Four with his smile and his dedication to saving lives.

Though never having been given his title, his quick tactical thinking in multiple battles against the forces of villianry had earned him his moniker and the City was still lost without him, even a year later.

All efforts to locate him centered on his last recorded appearance, a one-sided fight with Violet, high over the city.

The grainy video that everyone had seen was taken by a amateur cameraman from nearly a mile away, but it was obvious by his suit design and her black cat suit, who they were.

The Commander was not even fighting back, simply taking the punches delivered by Violet in her unending rage. He was faltering and she was pressing her advantage when they were both knocked unconscious by a psychic spike from the Commander's teammate, Psychic Master. An untested attack sent them both falling from the sky.

Violet was found, arrested and detained.

The Commander was not found.

The attack had such an effect that Violet's mind was so scrambled she was unable to process thoughts for over a month. She was the mental equivalent of a slug, producing enough drool to match.

She was quickly arraigned and found guilty, long before she possessed the ability to defend herself.

Locked away in the tightest security vault in the Villian-holding tank that was Archer Prison, just outside the city limits.

Linda realized she was tearing up again, wiped her eyes and proceeded with the day's instructions.

"Okay Violet, come over to the door and turn around, and kneel on the ground. Put your hands up over your head and behind you, the warden has something new for you.

Violet padded over to the door and did as she had been instructed. The door began retreating into the floor slowly, taking over three minutes for the eighteen-inch thick solid steel to be lowered.

Linda was sandwiched on either side by men with stun wands, each ready to hit her with a dose of heavy current if she moved.

Linda clamped a large, bulky tube-like object over each of Violet's hands, leaving only the last inch or so of her fingers sticking out. The tubes were the warden's latest experiment and he hoped Violet would have another outburst today, so he would have an excuse to use them.

"Okay Violet, put your arms back to your sides and stand up slow," Linda instructed. "Now turn around and follow me."

She motioned for Violet to walk, but Violet couldn't manage a natural pace. Her steps were methodical and deliberate, not really showing any desire to comply, merely doing so as ordered.

They made it to the Cafeteria for the guards a little behind the Warden's schedule, but he was still smiling as Linda came through the doors.

"Ahh, there you are!" he exclaimed happily as he strolled over. "how is our young lady?"

"Broken," replied Linda as she passed him. "Same as always."

"Now now," he replied back. "She still hasn't told us what we want to know, so she isn't broken yet."

"'Yet' being the opportune word here," snapped Linda. "You trying to butter her up? It hasn't worked before."

"I think we will have some revelations today," the warden announced happily as he turned to Violet, who had just entered.

"How are you today?" he asked her. She turned to look at him with her hollow eyes and Linda show she saw the man shiver.

"C-C mon, time for breakfast," he said, trying to recover.

The warden approached the order counter. "Fix for her anything she wants and NO FUNNY BUSINESS!" he exclaimed at the cook. "I'm paying for her food and I plan on trying some of it to make sure it's good enough for me. If I find you trying to mess with her, you will be spending the night in D-block, do I make myself clear?"

the cook behind the counter nodded shakily then turned to Violet, "What'll yah have then miss?"

Violet looked down at him, never speaking, just staring.

"Oh, I forgot," the warden exclaimed. "Any idea what she'd like to eat Linda?"

"four scrambled eggs, piping hot and a big bowl of oatmeal."

"Any brown sugar in it?"

"Not much," Linda added. "Milk, one glass cold, one glass warmed over the stove."

"Yes, that sounds wonderful!" exclaimed the warden again. "Warm her cold little tummy right up."

Linda thought the man was going out of his mind, but didn't dare say so. She told Violet to sit down at a table while the food was being prepared.

Violet clutched her pod-covered hands close to her waist and waited, unmoving, until the food was delivered.

"Mind if I try some?" asked the warden as he took her spoon and tasted the oatmeal. "Mmmm, just like home."

He held out the spoon. "Okay, it's safe to eat. Here, you'll need this.

Linda heard snickering from behind her as Violet tried to grasp the spoon with her hand, but found that having only one knuckle on her fingers made taking the spoon impossible. She fumbled using even both hands, finally gripping the spoon enough for him to let go, but now finding it impossible to get any oatmeal on it, nor get it up to her lips.

She made a dozen attempts to maneuver the spoon around, dropping it once into the bowl and trying to reach only the handle to get it up to her lips.

the warden seemed pleased by this and nodded to another guard standing off to the side, who pushed a button on a remote.

The spoon instantly moved seemingly by itself and fastened to the outside of the tube, in a position where Violet could now partially dip it into her bowl with one hand and could now eat.

Violet did not jump or react, just leaned in and started slowly shoveling oatmeal into her mouth. She didn't appear to chew it, just swallow.

Linda was getting upset. She slammed her hands on the table and stood up. "She could eat better without those tubes on her hands!"

"Yes, but they are there not to slow her down, but for your safety and mine."

The remote was used and Violet's spoon dropped off her tube and into the bowl, forcing her to attempt to retrieve it again.

Linda growled and leaned in, taking the spoon and began feeding Violet by hand. Violet just dropped both hands off the side of the table and let the oatmeal come to her.

"See, she's broken," Linda said again. "You've done it. She can't even feed herself."

"What do you think you are doing by helping her?" the warden asked Linda, looking at her in the eye.

"I'm tired of watching this!" she exclaimed back. "She won't even give up while you're watching, but she can't do this. You have your proof. Just let her eat in piece."

"NO!" he shouted, standing up from the table himself. "That's not the point of the gauntlets at all!"

There was a humming and Violet was jerked backward out of her chair and onto the floor. She was being pulled away from the table by the gauntlets.

They picked her up off the floor, by raising themselves up, dragging her along. She was not struggling, but merely watching as she was set back on her feet.

As soon as she was upright the power to the gauntlets switched off and her arms fell to her side again.

Violet stood while Linda erupted. "What did you do that for?"

"To prove that they work," was the warden's reply.

****************************************

Meanwhile, at the Heroes' floating fortress known as the Citadel...

Madam Muscle, a massive brutish lump of a woman strolled through the main doors, letting them hiss shut behind her.

"Ahhh, madam Muscle," came the computer Artificial Intelligence's voice. "I have some information."

"What?" she asked, her limited speech made her words come out quick and sharp.

"It's about what Violet said at her last interrogation," returned ReGGAI, known as 'Reggie'

"What you talking about?"

"Edward knows Edward, because Edward is Edward," was Reggie's reply. "I found that exact quote over the internet this morning."

"So, just cause Purple-hair Evil-lady say crazy thing, not mean anything."

"On the contrary," reggie said. "The quote comes from a person speaking to others who are looking for someone named Edward, unknowing that the person they are speaking to IS the edward they seek. What it means we've made a terrible mistake."

"Me no make mistake, me always right!"

"Listen to me," came Reggie's voice, sounding irritated. "We don't have time for this because I found the Commander this morning and we've made a huge mistake!"

"Where?" Madam Muscle spat out like she was cursing.

"I need to explain something,"

"No time, need to get Commander free NOW!"

"Look at this a moment," reggie said, as the large screen in front of Madam Muscle flickered on and showed an image of the Commander getting stuck in the gut by a white beam of light that appeared to pass right through him.

"This is the Doom-gun incident, sixteen months ago."

"Me was THERE, ME KNOW!"

"Now," reggie continued as the image flickered to a front view of the Commander, standing relaxed somewhere within the Citadel. The gray steel walls were telltale signs that he was in the same room that Madam Muscle now occupied.

"This is how the Commander looked Before the doom gun incident. And this is after."

Another image of the Commander, both now side by side. Lines marking measurements across the pictures were taken, and several dimensions were inconsistent between them.

"We can assume by looking at these two images that the Commander wasn't the same before and after, and further study of the second image shows that the hips were wider, and the shoulders were narrower than before. The Commander was a person in a suit."

"So?"

"Now, back to image one."

The image of the Commander being blasted by the Doom gun reappeared, then the blast and the suit were stripped leaving a wire frame image of a person, a man who was not as heavily built as before.

"If we assume the Doom Gun hurt the Commander, but didn't kill him but it did leave some marks..." the AI was now drawing little circles on the lower torso. "They might be here, here and here, right? In a circular shape."

"What if the measurements of the new Commander were then inputed into this. The Wire frame zoomed in on the torso, then the hips which were along the bottom of the screen elongated slightly, taking some of the dot pattern with them.

"What you saying?"

"I am saying," Reggie answered, while the wire frame was overlayed with a mesh layer that looked like human skin, then it zoomed out again to reveal a nude woman's figure with strange marks on her belly. "That we've had the Commander with us for some time!"

"Violet?!" escaped Madam Muscle's lips.

"Yes, Karla Jones, of Jones Therapy Center at nineteen-nineteen Rockaway Plaza, Violet was the Commander all along and we put her away."

Madam Muscle blushed and deflated until she was no taller or built than an average woman. "You know my secret?"

"As will everyone else unless you go get her!" screamed the AI. "The Commander programmed me, had to be a genius. You know which Genius no one has seen in sixteen months? EDWARD MICHAELS!"

"Edward knows Edward...." Karla started.

"Because Edward is Edward..." Reggie finished.

Madam Muscle was back to size and out the doors barely with enough time for them to open.

*****************************************************************

Violet, or the name given to what remained of Edward Michaels, now hung off the floor, her arms outstretched by the gauntlets who were continuing to pull themselves further and further apart.

Violet was not screaming or crying or struggling, she had never made a move except that her eyes had rolled back into her head and she was breathing erratically.

"TELL ME!" screamed the warden. "Where is the Commander? What did you do to him?"

Linda was being held on the floor by three of her fellow guards, she was handcuffed and she could only watch and cry as her charge, the victim of this madman's desires and who needed her help, was tortured in front of the entire room.

There was a popping noise and one of Violet's arms came free of it's socket and now only tissue held her together and she hung loosely off her own arm.

"Stop it, she can't tell you anything!" screamed Linda. "She's gone into shock!"

Violet dropped to the ground, falling first to her knees and finally forward onto her face. Blood leaked out her left eye socket where her skull had smashed into the tiles and split the skin open. She remained motionless.

The warden turned to the man with the remote to find him crumpled in a heap and Psychic Master standing over him, crushing the device in his hand.

"That's enough!"

"What the HELL are you doing here?"

"This morning, thanks to our AI, we located the Commander. When we did, we learned that he was part of a team and that Violet was his partner!"

"Let me go!" Screamed Linda. "She needs help!"

Linda's cuffs were unlocked and she scrambled across the floor to the fallen girl.


Linda growled silently to herself as she led Violet through the third set of heavy doors that slowed the exit of anyone leaving the prison.

Linda was mad that Violet was being released right away. She had pleaded with the judge to allow her to keep her confined but improve her conditions so that the woman would have time to recover mentally.

Violet was wearing tan slacks and a pullover hoodie over her black bodysuit. A pair of cheap sneakers shuffled forward, their owner unaware or unconserned with the ultimate destination.

Outside the last door and down the long walk to the outside gate.

Linda could see the limo parked outside, likely sent by her benefactors to take her home.

Linda nodded to the guard who unlocked the gate and Violet stepped through the portal to the outside world that she had not seen in eleven months.

She shuffled past the limo as if it was only an obstacle, moving towards the treeline at a slow pace.

"Hon, you can get in the car," Linda said loudly but watched Violet just shuffle away.


Madam Muscle is flying over the woods
  Cursing
  Trying to find Violet
  screams out in frustration
Reggie pipes in on Com link
  Violet is thirty yards away
    Now hiding behind tree
Muscle slowly comes around the tree
  Violet is still shivering uncontrollablly
  tries to touch her
    Violet jerks away
Muscle cries
  Tries to apologize
    Violet isn't registering
      Still shivering in fear of MM
  doesn't understand why violet is silent
    Doesn't understand she was tortured
puts a hand on Violet's shoulder
  won't let go
MM scopes violet up and carries her off


Karla jones is MM

Karla lands on her penthouse patio
  Steps inside
  Clutching Violet
Karla's lover Simone
  gets upset seeing Violet
    "Why did you bring that filth in here?"
Karla shakes her head
  "This girl needs our help"
"this girl?"
Karla introduces Violet to Simone as the Commander
  Simone draws in her breath quickly
"We have made a terrible mistake"


End Chapter one.

Chapter two

MM goes to Linda(prison guard)
  Wants reason that Violet is "Hurt"
  "science men need know how Purple hair girl hurt"
Linda has Flash Drive file
  "No want movie"
  It is smuggled video of the event
Linda warns MM not to watch
  Will make her very angry
MM says science men will need to see it
Dialogue
MM reveals her intellect, stunning Linda.
  "sometimes, we do things, because it is the right thing."


Violet has bedroom at Karla's
  Walls, floors, ceiling, covered in wire mesh
    Violet's electric powers allow her to 'hear' radio and other broadcasts
    She is finally able to sleep in peace
Sleep she does most often
  in king-sized bed
  on top of three blankets
  under six more

The video is watched
  Karla cannot fathom the suffering
  Simone is shocked
They pledge to help violet
  she will come out of her shell
  Lots of warmth
    soft, fuzzy touching
Recovery will be slow
  worth the effort?


MM is captured
  Video broadcast across Television.
  terrorist turns out to be Violet's warden
Violet walks out of room
  sees MM get tortured by warden on TV
  Takes off in rage

Warden is laughing over MM
  MM is crying
Lights go out
  emergency lights on
Warden on hand radio
  Can't get a signal
    Suddenly hears message
      Base is under attack by Violet
      She is cutting through steel walls
        lightning bolt charge

Next morning
  Police find charred remains of warden in center room
    twenty steel doors with human-sized holes lead way through maze
    only two men survived attack
      Talk of Violet being ruthless
        cutting down henchmen with electric blasts
        using it for cutting through doors as well

Violet is in bed with Simone and Karla
  at home
  "Edward" finally wakes up
    comment "Always wanted to wake up in a bed of three women, but never imagined I'd be one of them"
    nervous hugs
Edward starts to cry
  Cannot stop
  Cannot understand why
Karla holds her
  "Let it all out"

Long road ahead
  One day at a time

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Comments

Hmm.

Interesting and troubling start to this one. That Violet was subjected to such cruelties should be addressed, but by someone other than her. I'd let her recover enough to at least know that her tormentor was being punished for what he did, but that's me.

I'll look for more of this one, the outline looks very promising.

good work.

Love the premise of this one.... great writing and nice story line. Very different, great potential. I hope you do finish
this, it has potential, only just realised that was your notes.. not lazyness, i hadn;t read the top notice >< *Facepalm*
Alyssa

Violet

Is the missin hero, could the warden be an enemy that knows this?

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine
    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine