That the haggis graze on steep hillsides and always move in the same direction, so that they have evolved with legs much shorter on the uphill side (absolute proof of Darwinism).

They are easy to catch. One simply beats the heather in front of the flock, making them panic and try to flee in the opposite direction, whereupon they lose all foothold and roll down to the bottom of the brae, where they can be gathered at leisure.

Of course it depends on your religion whether you are permitted to hunt and eat clockwise or widdershins haggis. A remote cousin called the leek is found in Wales.

There have been unconfirmed rumours that miscegenation occasionally occurs and a creature somewhat like a sheep with legs of equal length is the outcome. These tales are generally treated as pornographic and definitely not repeated in polite company.

When cooked they are doused in whisky to make them edible. It is also usually necessary to drink three-quarters of the bottle before pouring the dregs over the puir wee beastie.

Edward I had William Wallace tortured to death by continuously feeding him haggis until he died of a surfeit,

Anybody interested in more detail can read my definitive book "The True History Of The Scots", available at all reputable booksellers, usual price US$50,

Joanne