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The Temple

"What's this?"

Hee, my best girl friend, but not my girlfriend, held out a rolled up wad of paper. "It is a scroll, dummy."

"Ah," I said as if that answered the ultimate question to life, the universe, and everything. "A scroll!"

Her already narrow Korean eyes narrowed even further, where they were nearly black slits atop her beautiful Asian face. "It is a welcoming gift from Uncle. We each received one."

I took the spooled paper and looked it over. "Is this some ancient Korean ritual?"

She smacked me on the arm before she headed into the kitchen to unpack the dishes that the movers just got through delivering. "Cho, sometimes I am thinking you are from some alien planet. It is an American tradition. Ever heard of a house warming gift?"

I shrugged. "That's usually more along the lines of a toaster, or bath towels; something practical that we can use with the new house."

You may have noticed that she called me 'Cho'. It was one of the reasons that her uncle allowed me to move in along with the pride and joy of his life. His only living relation, his dead brother's daughter. I'm a crossdresser, well, maybe a little more than that. If I'd had my way, I'd live like a girl all the time, but I didn't really want to complete the transition, the final cut, if you get my meaning. Basically I was lost somewhere in between a guy and a girl, never fully complete in either gender. Confusion has been a part of my life since I was five and was introduced to the wonderful world of 'this is a boy, and this is a girl, you're a boy', by my parents. Uh, no I wasn't.

However, in Korea, where Hee's uncle grew up, boys like me are called Kathoey. You might recognize the pejorative, Ladyboy. Kathoey are accepted in Korea, not pointed at or made fun of like here in Houston.

Anyway, I was accepted by her uncle because he thought that I was homosexual as well. I'm really bisexual, and Hee is a lesbian. She still sees me as a guy though, which sucks all kinds of monkey balls, because she's my best friend, and we have so much in common, and I fell in love with her about gazillion years ago when dinosaurs walked the freeways, and… I'm rambling.

When I was thirteen and dressed up as a girl for Halloween, Hee had me dead to rights. I enjoyed myself way too much, dressed up in her old Korean schoolgirl outfit. She had just moved to the neighborhood, and we became friends at the beginning of that summer. By the end of October, she was dressing me up and touching up my face in her best attempt to make me look like she did when she went to school.

There was no hiding it. I was embarrassed and she said I was stupid. Being Kathoey was nothing to be ashamed of. It was who I was.

Where am I going with all of this? My name is Richard 'call me Rich' Ockerson. Yeah, I know; it sucks. She took Rich and the O from my last name, rearranged it and thus was born Cho-Ri, or Cho, for short. Oddly enough Ri was the family name of her uncle's dead wife. So, Hee and I were almost related in a sense; in her head anyway. I was her sister, Cho. She called me that in private, or in front of her uncle, whether I was dressed in girl clothes or not.

"Well, Uncle said this was our gift. Do not make me come hit you again."

The one thing I've never been able to break her of was her incessant need to never, ever, even upon pain of repeated Brazilian waxing, ever use contractions. Just the thought of it made her shudder. So for her punishment I would make up random nonsensical words and insert them in everyday conversation.

"If you do that, then I'll tell your uncle that you're flurfing again."

It's really hard to keep a straight face when I do this, because she always gives the same look, like she's trying to figure out whether or not I'm screwing with her.

"I do not fluff," she responded.

"Flurf, I said flurf, not fluff. And you sooooo, flurf."

Dipping her hand into the box on the counter, she withdrew a stainless steel ladle. The sucker was about a foot and a half long, and she shook it at me. "You take that back. I do not flurf."

I couldn't take it any longer, and a betraying grin slipped from my lips. Her eyes narrowed again. "We live together now, Cho. Do not think that I will not sneak into your bedroom, late one night, and pour honey on your wee."

I blinked, and my lips parted for a second. The visual I just got was awe inspiring. She had told me this once before, the honey thing. In Korea, this was considered a torture. It was supposed to attract ants, and I think you can get the picture from there on out. Here, in America, it was a sexual fantasy… well, minus the ants.

After blinking again, and shaking my head a little, to get rid of the image of Hee coming in my room, armed only with a little bear-shaped bottle, I waved the scroll at her.

"What are we supposed to do with this?"

Her lips cutely twisted to the side. "We take our gifts to the temple, and give them to the monks."

I raised a single eyebrow. That seemed like a weird gift. Here's a gift, go give it to someone else; do it now! "Is this some…"

"Yes, Cho. Uncle has made arrangements for the monks to give us Yantra tattoos."

At my clueless look, she explained. "They are mystical symbols of protection. Whenever young ones of my family leave home to live on their own, they are in need of protection against evil and hardship."

"They're magical tattoos?"

"Not magical, mystical. There is a difference." She looked at her watch and grimaced. "We have to have this done today, as well."

"What's the rush?" I wasn't necessarily thrilled with the thought of permanently marring my skin at the moment.

"We must allow three days for the entire ritual and we both start work on Monday."

That was… "Three days!" My empty hand jumped to my mouth. "How big is this tattoo supposed to be?"

She shrugged. "As big as you want, I guess." When she saw my panic she smiled at me. "The ritual is three days, not the application of the tattoo, Cho. Quit being such a girl. We must not speak for three days, and there is something else as well." She tried to remember, but shrugged it off. "It does not matter. That is why we must leave within the hour." Hee's wave shooed me off. "Go change into your proper clothes. We depart soon."

Without thinking, I turned and took a few steps toward my bedroom before stopping. "Um, where do they put the tattoos?"

Hee thumped her head. "Sorry, on your back, so glue your breasts on and leave your bra."

I nodded, still kind of worried. I turned and continued into my room, muttering to myself. "It's a tattoo, most girls have them. It's not the end of the world." I sighed as I opened my closet. "Besides, if Hee wants me to have it, then I'll have it."

Since the process usually involved blood, I shuddered at the thought, I had better wear something loose and black, just in case. I pulled down a gauzy, crochet, peasant top, which would look awesome braless. Speaking of which… I retrieved a box from my dresser, and entered the bathroom to cleanse my chest before applying my B-cup breast forms. I spent an entire paycheck on those realistic, silicone beauties, and I wanted everything perfect before attaching them for the long haul.

Hee and I had only been to the salon together a few days before. I didn't have the nails she sported, but I did get more waxed than she did. It was the one thing I was seriously envious of her, her perfect skin. She rarely had to wax, shave, or anything else for that matter. It made me sick sometimes. I smiled at myself and my breasts before leaving the bathroom toward the make up table to apply some blender for the almost unnoticeable seams. I loved them so much. They were perfect for me.

I chose a skirt with a stretchy waistband in case they had to go a little lower on my back than necessary. If possible I would make it a tramp stamp. At least that wouldn't be out of the ordinary, and Hee would be happy that we had something that we could share. I sighed again, sat down to apply a little make up, and make sure my eyebrows were still perfect. Leaving my eyes alone was a necessity; I expected tears and I didn't want to look nasty-raccoon-girl for her.

"She's never going to notice me. No matter how girlie I am." Looking into the mirror at my fairly feminine face, I frowned. "Just move on, and look for someone else, Cho."

"Cho, are you ready?" Hee called from the kitchen.

I looked at my watch. "I thought you said an hour. It's only been twenty minutes!"

She stuck her head in the door. "You do not need make up for this." Hee rolled her eyes and rushed over to grab me by the arm. "You are always such a girl. Come now, where are your sandals? I want to get there before all the good monks are taken."

I laughed. "Is this like a salon or something?"

Shaking a finger at me she smiled. "Do not make me spank you, Cho." She leaned in and kissed me on the cheek. "You are very pretty today."

I followed her lips, and then looked up at her eyes. "Komawoyo, Hee." That means thank you in Korean. I've been picking up the language for five years now. Mostly informal stuff, since I hung around Hee's girlfriends at school, and they tended to ramble on in Korean. It was either learn what they were saying, or sit there in paranoia all the time, thinking they were always talking about the Caucasian girlie-boy behind my back.

We hurried out the door, and after Hee remembered, I went back in and retrieved the scroll I had forgotten. I jammed it in my purse and slung the strap around my neck. Hee and I always rode our bikes around the neighborhood to keep in shape. Since the temple in question was only a few blocks away, it really wasn't a decision we would have taken the time to make. The car was pretty much for work only.

I always trailed a little bit behind her when we biked. I loved the way her hair always flew away from her shoulders, and the way she looked when she turned and smiled at me. However, this time, I caught up and rode along side her. I wasn't going to fantasize my way through life any longer. Cho was only into girls and the truth was that however much I wanted to be a girl sometimes, it wasn't going to happen.

There was no parking lot at the temple. You were expected to either walk or bike. They were very health conscious, or something like that. When we arrived, we locked our bikes on the racks and entered the temple.

"Just follow my lead. Do what I do, and say what I say."

She always said the same thing every time we went there. I had been with her a number of times, and never disappointed, or embarrassed her. The monks always treated me with a lot of respect, which I was very appreciative of. They knew of my nature as well. One of them was actually kind of cool. His name was Sam. Sam the monk. When I was waiting for Hee to do some ritual she performed several times a year, I always sought out Sam and we would have a nice chat. He once commented that I was very Tao. Even though I never prescribed to any particular religion or philosophy, I was curious as to what he meant.

He was raised in Houston, so he never spoke the way the rest of the monks did. They put up with it, because Sam was always able to keep the teenagers interested in the temple life. Teens and religion don't mix very well. Sam was that good. When I asked what he meant about me being Tao, he explained in actual terms I could understand instead of the party line junk.

"Cho-Ri, you are forever in the balance of things. It's pretty cool, actually. You live your life as a boy and a girl. Tao is the search for balance, or trying to understand that which is in itself not understandable. You live your life like water."

I remember giving him a playfully dirty look. "You mean I'm all wet?"

He laughed at my joke. "Not at all. You are in control of your life so much that you need no control. When life changes around you, you slip between the cracks, or push over the side, down underneath, never letting the difficulties bother you to the point of distraction."

I tried to see what he was talking about. I mean I was of the opinion that there were a lot of things in my life that were out of my control. If they were, then I turned in a different direction, and followed a different path. I learned early on that being angry or unduly sad never accomplished too much but make you and those around you feel the same way, or worse, pity you.

"I can see where that would be good in some ways, but I think I'm a little tougher than that."

I remember his knowing smile. Sam always knew what I was going to say in response. "Cho-Ri, you are like water: clear, cool, and fresh. All things depend on it for life, but in the end, even the hardest stone can't stand in its way forever. Patience is your gift. Everything and everyone eventually yields to patience."

I remembered those words he said every time I saw Sam there. He had faith in me, even when I had doubts. Even when I didn't believe in his religion or philosophy. That made it enough for me. He held a lot of respect in my heart just for being a good man.

"Cho."

I looked over at Hee, and she was looking at me strangely. "Sorry. I was just remembering something."

"Well, get your head out of the sky, come on."

"Clouds. Get your head out of the clouds."

She nodded once at me. That was the way we did things. She still had the occasional problems with American sayings. I'd correct her, and we would let it go. That is unless she said something totally off the wall. Like the time I drank the last Dasani in the Refrigerator, she said, "You piss on me off!"

"No, Hee, it's 'you piss me off'. One is a explicative and the other a nasty online fetish." Which kind of made me wonder why she spent so much time online. I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.

"Hee-Shin, Cho-Ri, it is a pleasure seeing you again."

Sam!

"Hi Sam." I place my palms together with my elbows out, perpendicular to the gesture, and bowed with a bright grin on my face.

He did the same and smiled sweetly at me, the trouble was that he smiled sweetly at Hee also. Am I never going to find an available person to date. A lesbian and a monk. What are the odds? I thought being bisexual upped the odds considerably. Maybe I should just stop thinking. It always tends to make things difficult in the end.

Hee took out her scroll and handed it to Sam. When she glanced my way, I did the same. He unrolled hers first and read along for a moment, then rolled it back up and did the same with mine.

"We have two availabilities today, and if I know you as I think I do, Hee-Shin, I believe you would do well with the elder."

Hee bobbed her head. "Thank you, yes. Cho, is not as picky as I am, and I was wanting something very intricate."

"As you wish." He handed her the scroll back and gestured to the right. "He is waiting for you down the stairs at the first door on the left."

Hee finger waved at me. "Good luck, Cho."

I nodded and waved back. "You too."

Sam turned to his side, and held out an elbow. "May I escort you to your monk for the day, Cho-Ri?"

I could have preened at that moment. Sam always made me feel welcome and very feminine. "Thank you, Sam."

After I slipped my hand into the crook of his arm, he covered it with his free hand, and we proceeded to the stairs. "You look nervous."

"I am. I have no idea why I'm doing this."

He turned and looked down at me. Sam had about six inches on my five-five height. "Because you love and respect your friend. You know that she would never do anything that would cause you harm, and it is her belief that you will come out of this experience with a great gift."

My tension eased. That was exactly the reason. "You're right, as always, Sam. Thank you."

He chuckled as we stepped off the bottom stair into the well lit hall. "I'm not always right, but I strive to be helpful."

"Shh," I teased. "You'll blow the whole image I have of you in my mind. Just go with my exaggerated opinions."

"Of course, Cho-Ri."

We reached a curtain covered entrance and Sam pulled aside the opening for me.

"Thank you."

He nodded. "You are very welcome."

The room was maybe ten by ten square. There was some light incense burning. I couldn't make out the scent, but it was sweet and soothing. When he stepped in behind me the curtain dropped and covered the light from the hallway. The wall sconces were burning an open gas flame and gave a decidedly red glow around the room.

Sam gestured to the right, and I saw a table with several sketchings laying atop. "When Hee-Shin's uncle contacted us, I asked to be the one who performed this rite, if that is okay with you."

The last of the tension I felt left my chest with a smile blossoming on my face. "I'd like that."

"It's my pleasure, Cho-Ri." He again took my elbow and guided me to the table. "I made a number of designs that I thought you might approve of. If you don't find what you are looking for here, then I have others that I can offer.

My eyes widened at what I was seeing. "You did these?"

Seeing my subdued excitement he smiled. "I take it you approve?"

I moved aside a couple, and stood in awe of his artistic talent. "Approve? This is amazing! I never knew you were so talented."

I stopped on a simple Yin-Yang symbol. There were symbols inside, in place of the dots that normally appear, and intricate geometric symbols surrounding the outside. It wasn't as beautiful as some of the dragons and tigers, or lizards I saw, but something about it caught my eye.

"This is the eum-yang. I've modernized it a little, and added something that I think will please you." He pointed to the symbols inside. "This is the symbol for the calm stream that winds down the mountain. It is always in motion underneath, but the surface shows flat stillness, peace in the face of adversity."

"I'm water." I grinned at him in remembrance. He nodded that he was thinking the same thing.

"And this is the symbol of Chang-Ngo. She is the goddess that lives on the moon. She grants her worshipers serenity and beauty."

"That's beautiful."

He nodded in agreement. "And of course the eum-yang. The symbol of Taoism, natural duality, night-day, man-woman." He smiled again at the last. "I thought that perhaps this would suit you best, as to me, you are the epitome of what this symbol represents."

I took a breath and tried not to think lusty thoughts. "What are the patterns around it?"

"Those are the protections against evil and hardship. Once I have written them into you, those negatives will be repulsed and will not harm you."

He sounded confident, like he truly believed in his work. It was a heady feeling.

I nodded. "I trust you."

"That is good of you to say, Cho-Ri. Thank you." He took the drawing along with my elbow, once more to a corner. "If you would disrobe, I will await you at the altar."

I felt the heat rush to my face. "Just my top?"

"If you prefer." His face was calm and composed. "You have nothing to fear from me, Cho-Ri. My life here at the temple is a celibate one. While I may appreciate beauty such as yours, I will not act upon the desire it invokes."

Oh God, Buddha, and the little green men on Pluto, he thinks I'm beautiful?! "Okay," I barely whispered. He nodded again, and turned around to give me a little privacy.

I made a decision right there that I wasn't going to act like I was in high school. I may not be the person that I wanted to be, but I wasn't ashamed of myself either. After undoing the tie above my breasts I lifted the blouse off and use the provided hanger, then I slipped out of my skirt. I still wore my low rise black cotton panties, and I forced the embarrassment out of my body. Now if the blood that was filling my face would only cooperate I would be just peachy. My sandals followed, then I went over to the table Sam was standing beside, being a perfect gentleman monk.

"I'm ready," I nearly squeaked out.

Without turning he instructed me on what to do. "If you would lie on the altar face down, and make yourself as comfortable as possible we will begin."

Five hours later, and I was running only on reserves. It was a lesson in controlling pain. The only thing that kept me running from the room was the sound of Sam's voice chanting while he did his work. It was almost hypnotic in a way. He stopped a number of times to see how I was doing, but I assured him that as long as he was singing, I'd be okay. Okay, it wasn't singing in the sense that we're used to. I mean there wasn't a subwoofer thumping in the background to a bone vibrating beat, but it was like he was singing just to me, and that was enough.

Not to mention that his hands were all over my back as he steadied himself. There was even one time where he rested his forearm on my butt. I wished at that particular moment that I wasn't wearing the panties. Okay, I'm having sexual fantasies about seducing a celibate monk. We all do at one time or another, right? Feel free to agree with me, go ahead. Sigh. Okay, I really need to seek mental help.

The balm he spread over my back felt so good. I thought I was going to… um, it felt good.

When Sam helped me sit up I had forgotten that I was wearing my breast forms. Needless to say, he was speechless.

"They're not real." At this point I was too exhausted to even cover myself.

"They are very becoming, Cho-Ri." He looked a tad bit nervous. "Shall I help you get dressed?"

I nodded. "Thanks, I would appreciate that."

He retrieved my skirt which I slid into first and then I raised my hands up as he dropped my blouse down my arms and tied off the top. I looked up at him, only inches away, and bit my lower lip. His eyes wouldn't stay on mine, and he looked away. "I'll get your sandals."

I expected him to drop them at my feet and hurry out. Maybe I had repulsed him after all, but he surprised me by kneeling and sliding each one onto me, before returning to full height. "I have covered the protection. Here is some additional ointment, if there is pain or bleeding. Try to let it get as much air as possible so that it heals properly."

He went on with his instructions for care of my new ink, and then added something at the end that I wasn't expecting. "Would you do me a favor tonight?"

I nodded. He went over and retrieved a small box from under the table. "Show these to Hee-Shin. She'll know what to do."

The box was sealed and I looked at it with interest, but I cold see a faint trace of color on Sam's cheeks.

"I will."

With that, Sam escorted me back out, and we saw Hee waiting at a bench by the door. She looked like she had been there for a long time.

"Wow, I thought you guys got lost down there." Humor was etched on her face.

Sam greeted her again and reminded us of our duties to ensure the protection. From the moment we left the temple we were not to speak for three nights. So, it was more like two and a half days, since the current one was almost gone already. There were a few other things that I was sure we wouldn't have a problem with doing. We could not kill, steal, or cheat during this time. Damn, and there was a little Handie-Mart on the way home too! The other two were more Hee's and my speed. We couldn't be intoxicated by alcohol, we could drink, just not get drunk. But seeing as how we were both eighteen, that was problematic anyway. The biggest one of all was last. We could not lust.

I am soooo not making it through this.

Sam helped me secure the box in the basket on the back before we took off on the torture trek back to the house. After I was able to get going I was confident enough to ride without my hands. I had excellent balance on a bike. It was at the last part, when we turned into the driveway, that I almost yipped in pain.

Hee kept looking at me strange, and acting like she wasn't in any pain at all, which was annoying. Perfect skin and a inhuman tolerance for pain too. When we made it inside she went into her bedroom and disappeared for a few minutes. She came back out dressed in shorts and a bikini top. Pointing to her back, she motioned to remove the bandage. It needed to air out.

The thing was, when she turned around I saw this little tiny five by five white bandage that was taped at the corners. After peeling it off I saw a very detailed dragon above her waistline in the middle of her back. I thought mine was a little bigger than that. Maybe that was why she was done so soon.

She gave me inquiring eyes. I nodded and signed that it looked great. It did. She then motioned for me to turn around, and take off my top. It was a bit more of a struggle for me to do so, and Hee kept giving me the weird looks again, as she had to help me with the blouse. But once it was off I turned around for her to remove the bandage, and she gasped out loud.

I spun back around, almost in a panic. She was covering her mouth. I almost blew the whole thing right there and started talking, but she made another gesture indicating the size of my bandage, and it wasn't the little square she had. I rotated once more and felt my eyes tear up as I did.

Hee picked at the tape, above my shoulder blade, down my sides and just below my skirt. The wait was agonizing, but I already knew what she would find underneath. When she was finished I rushed to my bedroom, and grabbed my makeup mirror before heading to the large mirror and bright light of the bathroom. I looked at the reflection of my face for a moment before turning around. Hee was standing at the door, her hand still covering her mouth in nervous expectation, as I raised the smaller mirror to see what had been done.

The majority of my back was Sam's canvas and he was truly an artist. It was gorgeous. The yin-yang symbol was simple enough, but the work on the outside was so intricate that I held my breath as I looked it over. It was so much more than the drawing that he showed me. In the end, I was speechless. Hee tried to judge how I was feeling, but I don't know if she was able. She turned me so that she could get a better look. I felt the heat of her hand hovering over my skin as if she were afraid to touch it, but wanted nothing more than to do just that.

Once she got my attention she asked if I was okay. Of course if we knew sign language the point would have come across much quicker than it took us to get on the same frequency. Strangely enough I was okay. I was water, after all. The whole thing was a shock, but something within me felt pleased at the outcome. It was a different kind of experience for me… and Sam.

The way I thought about it was that, even though Sam was celibate, we were both in that room and were laid bare. He made love to me in the only way he knew how, through his art. I said that the tattoo was more than the picture he showed me. That told me that he went beyond what he felt at the time of his drawing, and poured himself into the work. If I looked at it like that, then there was a little bit of Sam inside me at that moment. Something he hadn't planned on. It was like making love. No two experiences were alike. You may perform in the same position in bed, but the intensity of the moment will always be changed from time to time. And now I knew that it was as intense for him as it was for me.

Fingers snapping in front of my face let me know that Hee was trying to get my attention. She gave me an intense look, almost like she was pissed. I shook my head and smiled at her. Leaning in I hugged her to me and sighed. She tried to hug me back, but there wasn't much to do with three-quarters of my back injured. Instead I leaned back and kissed her on the cheek, then I pantomimed going to sleep.

She still looked worried and then helped me to bed.

I woke up with an whole body ache. My hands, feet, chest, arms, and head throbbed with a bone deep dull pain, while my legs and abdomen felt like had a four hour long workout. The muscles were tight and felt stringy. Surprisingly, my back didn't bother me at all. The first thought that went through my head, was that the exhausting experience last night had far more reaching consequences than I had realized. A little groan fell from my lips and into the pillow under my face.

As I twisted my head, my legs and arms moved into a more comfortable position, and with it even more annoyance. Even my skin felt abused. The cotton sheets that I had purchased from the store, only last week, felt like sandpaper against me.

So much for sleeping in on my last Friday as a free person.

Another sigh was released, and I reluctantly tossed the sheets off and rose from the bed. When I moved, I could feel the tight skin on my back. My face wrenched at the thought of being covered in crusty scabs. Yuk. A shower seemed like a wonderful thing at the moment.

I remembered to keep the water temperature moderate, and to not let it hammer into my back, only to allow it to hit my shoulders and roll down to soothe the wounds. You never really realize how hard it is to wash your hair and not let the shampoo run on your back. My hair was maybe an inch past my shoulder and I had plans to let it grow down to at least the middle, so I took great care of it. I wanted long straight hair like Hee, and luckily I had the advantage, as mine was thicker than hers, but just as soft and shiny. It was only a matter of time until it was just as pretty.

I had to resort to patting at my skin, afterward, with the towel. It was incredibly sensitive, but I once again rationalized it away as fallout from the day before.

Once I made it in front of the mirror to comb out my hair, I stopped everything and blinked at my reflection. Something was off, but it didn't jump out at me. Everything was where it belonged. I wasn't sporting an extra arm out of the side of my neck or anything so drastic, but something was different about me.

Then I finally figured it out. One of the four lights over the sink had burned out sometime over the night. It was probably casting a weird shadow that was making me look different. That was it.

Shorts were my only choice for the day, and very low rise shorts at that, because the tattoo reached so low, under my normal waist line. I didn't have anything I could wear as a top, and that felt really strange. I hadn't walked around without a top in forever. What felt even more bizarre was walking around with my breast forms bare. While I didn't have to worry about sagging, the tugging and bouncing when I moved too fast was an odd feeling.

Hee was in the kitchen when I entered the living room, still unpacking and washing the contents. She looked up at me and smiled, with a small giggle at the end. She motioned at her own breasts, which were covered, thank god. I just flipped her off and smiled along with her. She came out and around, to look me over with a critical eye. Her eyebrows bunched slightly, but then she shrugged and held up a finger for me to stay put while she disappeared into her bedroom.

A few moments later, and she returned holding a red piece of silk I recognized as a top of hers that I absolutely loved. It tied off behind the neck and the small of the back, leaving her back completely bare, covering only her breasts and the upper portion of her abdomen. My eyes brightened and I gestured to myself. She nodded and helped me with fitting it properly.

It was a little small for me, but Hee was very petite. Since I wasn't able to tie it off at my waist, Hee attached the lower strings to the belt loops on my shorts that rode just under my kidneys. Because of that, it was a perfect fit! I checked myself out in the mirror and I loved the way it made me look.

Then I felt something that sent a shiver up my spine. Hee brushed her fingertips over my back. I looked over my shoulder at her, and saw that she was surprised about something. Holding up her hand once more for me to wait, she ran off to her room again and returned with a hand mirror. I already knew what she wanted at this point. Maybe my back was a real mess. A grimace appeared on my face at the thought of scabs covering the entire surface.

Hee turned me around and saw my reluctance to look, but gave me her, 'do not be stupid, Cho', look and I raised the hand mirror.

Last night the tattoo was covered in clear salve, and wherever my natural skin showed there were angry red welts, especially along the edges of the ink. This morning they were gone, along with the salve. Well, I did take a shower, but that didn't explain the next thing I perceived. It already appeared healed, the entirety of my back. I tried to reach over to touch it, but, of course my hands weren't that long, so I tried to touch it from the bottom. This time I was successful.

Nothing but smooth skin, without even the barest hint showing any of the work Sam did the previous day. The ink was still there, but it looked as it were a part of me now instead of having just been worked just a short time ago. I pushed on the markings and there was no pain. Hee did the same, but I just shook my head and smiled. Come to think of it, the tight feeling I had only that morning was gone. It was like any scabbing I had, probably washed off in the shower.

Hee ran over to the kitchen counter and picked up a tablet and pen. I could already see that she had written something earlier. When I took it I went over to sit on the edge of the couch.

Cho-Ri,

I am so sorry about what Sam did to you yesterday. It was not my intention to allow something like this to happen. I thought that you would choose to have a small tattoo, like myself. Uncle gave you the gift so that you would feel like a part of the family, and perhaps take a measure of protection away from the experience. I wanted us to be even closer, as you are like a sister to me. Please forgive me.

Hee

Now Hee, almost never called me Cho-Ri. It's a way of showing respect, to use the full name, and we were way too familiar with each other to use it except in certain situations. Hee was most definitely feeling like she forced me into something beyond my understanding. Sure, it was far and away beyond anything I had ever done before, but the things was, I liked it.

I looked up at her standing in front of me with her head bowed and eyes on the floor, waiting for some sort of non-verbal scolding. So, I reached out and took the pen from her hand to write my response.

Hee-Shin,

I love my new tattoo. I didn't plan on it being so big, but I'm glad that it is. I can't explain why, but it feels very right. You know?

I can't believe it healed so quickly. Is yours the same? Maybe we should go back and talk to Sam about it?

Cho.

Don't ask me why I signed it. I don't know why.

She took it and after reading, dropped to her knees and hugged me, in relief. Her strong grip around my back didn't hurt at all. It felt totally normal. When she pulled back, her eyes were very glassy and she nodded, pointing at where I wrote 'Sam'.

We grabbed our sandals, and were out the door a few minutes later. Half way there we had to stop and re-tie the top she lent me, this time around my waist. It was a tight fit, leaving very little to work a decent bow, but it felt a lot more secure. There's nothing like riding your bike and having your top flapping in the wind for everyone to see what's underneath.

When we arrived and locked our bikes up Hee took my hand in hers, and led the way into the temple. It took longer to find Sam than we expected. He was performing his morning meditation and prayers. I spent that time looking around, along with Hee. Not that I hadn't seen almost everything in the temple already, but this time I actually looked at things instead of merely noting their presence. It was very serene and very Asian. That's about all I can say about that.

I noticed Sam before Hee did.

"Cho-Ri, Hee-Shin. It is a pleasure to see you here this morning. How may I assist you."

Hee and I performed the required bow, and then Hee took me by the shoulders and turned me around.

"Oh!" He paused for a moment and then I felt his warm fingers on my back. "Wait here, I must get an elder."

Hee shrugged her shoulders, as she didn't know what he was doing either. A few minutes passed and Sam returned with a guy that looked to be about a hundred years old, and knowing that Asians didn't show their age like Caucasians did, that was saying something about how old the guy actually was.

"This is the Elder Ho. Elder Ho, this is Hee-Shin. Her Uncle is the one who gifted the Yantra for these young ladies. This is Cho-Ri. She is the one I asked you to see." I bowed to the elder and then turned around. "I only performed the ritual yesterday and she is completely healed."

While Ho apparently understood English just fine, he chose to speak in Korean, which I could normally only follow about every fourth or fifth word, but this time I could almost understand what he was saying. His dialect was not what I was used to, differing from Hee and our friends. Even Hee had a hard time following along.

Regardless, Sam was able to translate for us. "Elder Ho says that this is not unheard of, but very rare, and shows…" He stopped and I saw his face redden slightly. "He says it shows the connection that we each have with one another, and in turn with the goddess depicted in the Yantra, Chang-Ngo."

I smiled with a little embarrassment of my own.

"Did you give the offering last night?"

I didn't know what he was talking about, but Hee did and she nodded. She turned to me and mimed a square shaped… oh the box! She must have understood what it was for and then done it for me.

"Cho-Ri, yesterday was Mid-Autumn day, the eighth lunar month on the night of the full moon. It is Chang-Ngo's day of worship. The box was for her, and from what Elder Ho says, it appears that she has blessed you." Sam smiled in subdued awe. "It is unheard of for someone that holds to no faith or no particular philosophy to be blessed in such a way. He has also suggested that you look within yourself. To consider joining our temple. It would be a great honor for us to have one such as yourself to be a part of our faith."

I gave him a confused look and he explained further. "Cho-Ri, you have been touched by the goddess. What better way to show others that not everything we teach is parable and hard to understand ritual."

Oh, well, if he put it that way. I didn't want to say anything, because I wasn't supposed to say anything, but I got my point across that I would consider it.

"That is all we ask."

Elder Ho said something else and gestured to me a few times before Sam translated. "Elder Ho says that perhaps the Goddess is not finished with you. There is always a purpose behind each revealing of her presence. If you notice any other changes in your body or in your spirit, please let us know as soon as you can."

By spirit I assumed he meant my mind, which made me wonder if there was some funky drug in the ink they used.

"I am very happy for you, Cho-Ri, and very pleased that I was able to be a part of the revelation that you have become a part of."

Both he and Elder Ho bowed very low to me, which I knew was a sign of great respect. I returned the gesture and Hee followed soon thereafter.

We spent the better part of the day getting the house in order and decorating. I had no problem letting Hee be in charge of making the living room a mixture of Korean and American styles. She had an eye for décor and I just followed with whatever she wanted to do.

Another night passed, where this time I fell asleep on my back, and woke up with even more aches and changes to my body.

I was in the confused period of wakefulness and sleep when I had a wonderfully tingly feeling on my chest. Under my sheets I ran my hands up and across my breast forms, only I felt my hand on them like it was my own skin I was touching. That is what brought me fully awake. I gave a great squeeze to my right breast form. No matter what the advertisements say, they haven't made a way for silicone to feel like actual breasts. They can come close, but for those of us that know, there is a difference, not to mention the reciprocal feeling of having one of them squeezed and it hurting. Nope, they haven't come that far along, yet.

With a shudder of fear running through me I brought both my hands out, and slowly lifted the sheet to see my breasts. Another thing about breast forms, they mostly hold their shape. Even when laying down, they are much more perkier than real breasts. The ones on my chest were not perky, The were almost flattened mounds. I knew what real breasts looked like when a girl was lying down, and those most definitely look like real breasts.

The next thing I noticed was my skin was no longer the tanned skin I had yesterday. It was more… not yellow, but it looked like the color of Hee's skin, like Asian, or more to the point, Korean skin.

By this time my lungs were becoming labored with rapid breath. I think I was going into full blown panic mode, and I was just frozen as I was looking back and forth between my apparently real looking breasts, and my skin.

I had to actually force myself to calm down before getting up. Unrealistic rationalizations zoomed through my head at an unbelievable rate. I was thinking about poisons in the ink, bad lighting, maybe hypnotism, hallucinations, unseen blows to the head. Nothing made sense. But I shoved it back. I need to see if there were any more changes and laying there in bed wasn't going to accomplish anything.

I closed my eyes. I didn't want to see anything until I was in a good source of light. My bathroom was only steps away from the left side of my bed and I knew there was nothing in between me and the doorway. My breathing was still fast-paced as I fumbled along the wall for the light switch.

The click and pinkish color behind my eyelids let me know that the minor mission was accomplished. I still covered my eyes with a single hand before opening them and peeking out between the not so closed fingers.

Those are not my breast forms. The shape was a little different, almost conical instead of the round ones I specifically remembering attaching just two days previous. I let my free hand, find and knead one of my breasts. It gave way a lot easier than the silicone did. They weren't as heavy either, and they were a lot more sensitive than I was used to. And yes, my skin had most definitely change colors. Well I didn't have to envy Hee her beautiful complexion anymore.

Conflicting emotions were also soaring through me. I had real breasts, and the breast forms were gone. I knew they hadn't fallen off in the bed. I would have felt them. So that means the old ones were somehow changed into the new ones. That alone was reason for celebration. I had real breasts! It was impossible, but there they were. And my skin was… Korean. That wasn't impossible. I'm sure their were things that I could have eaten or absorbed that would change the color, but the texture had also changed, which wasn't possible, at least not overnight.

A thought came to me, just then, and my hand darted down between my legs. Okay, it was still there. Everything was still there. I hadn't bounced into a new female body in one night.

I finally got the nerve to lower the hand that wasn't doing such a great job of covering my eyes anymore. Checking out my body, I saw subtle changes. My chest seemed more vee-shaped, but not by much. My ribs weren't as prominent, and my waist more defined. It tucked in right after my ribs ended and then swelled back out to my hips, which hadn't seemed to change at all.

I bent over to get a better look at my wee. It was exactly like before. Granted I was no stallion at any time in my life, but I was normal, maybe a little less, if you go by the national average. I wouldn't know if it changed exactly until I had an erection, but by all accounts I was still a guy, or considering I had breasts now, maybe somewhere in between.

From the aroma in the air I knew Hee was making gaeran tost-u. It's an egg sandwich with cabbage, onion, and carrots mixed in with a sprinkling of brown sugar. I wasn't so much with the cabbage. I am American, after all, so she usually left it off of mine.

I had to hurry so it wouldn't get cold. A quick check over my body and I thought that I had everything categorized. Then I looked up at my face and almost screamed. My eyes!

Gone were the Caucasian eyes of my mother, and in their place was almost an exact duplicate of Hee's eyes and those of our friends. I closed in on the mirror and watched as I blinked several times. The bottom lid was almost perfectly straight and the top was a single half-moon arc. I squinted and noticed that they moved into a relaxed tilde shape. There was no hiding this, not that I wanted to. They were gorgeous! My attention was brought to my eye color and I noticed that they were still bright blue, which wasn't a Korean color at all.

A knock at the bedroom door shook me out of my examination. I dashed out and tapped at my side to let her know I was up and would be out soon. Moving with determination this time, now that I wasn't being distracted by the mirror, I sifted through my drawers to find a bikini top that I had purchased for when we used the hot tub on the back porch. I tied it off and was very pleased with how my new breasts looked. Panties and jean shorts were next. I didn't have to have them as low cut this time, so I chose something that would look good with the bikini top. Some sandals later and I was ready to go freak out my roommate.

Hee was sitting at the breakfast table looking out the recessed window in the back yard when she heard me enter. She was chewing on a bite, and swallowed right when she turned and smiled at me.

Her eyes shot opened and she gasped, which wasn't a good thing, considering what she was doing. She stopped breathing and started choking. Her eyes watered up and she grabbed at a glass of orange juice. To help control the dislodged bite of sandwich in her throat.

Hee was caught between pointing at my face and trying not to choke more. When I pulled out my chair and sat down like nothing was wrong, along with a mild inquiry if she was okay, she nodded quickly and pointed again at me. She looked like she was going to burst if she didn't speak right away.

Holding up my hands I calmed her down, and let her know that I knew what had changed and was perfectly fine with the results. Scooting my chair closer to hers, I took her hand and placed it on my breast. What little color was left in her face drained away to nothing. She squeezed it, and then moved over to the other and did the same.

The chair she was sitting in fell over as she jumped up and grabbed her tablet and pen.

WTF?, she scribbled.

They're real, I replied.

No shit! We need to see Sam.

I nodded and wrote. After breakfast. I'm okay with this, Hee. I couldn't be happier.

Really? She didn't seem convinced.

I took the time to write what I was actually feeling. It's like I'm finally becoming the person I always knew I was. I know you don't understand, but I welcome this. Don't feel bad for me.

She looked at me in understanding sympathy. Do you still have your wee?

I nodded. Nothing changed there. I'm beautiful like you. Don't you like it?

Hee gave me a disapproving look. I liked you the way you were before. Nothing has changed. If you are happy with what has happened, then I am happy as well.

I was happy. A contented feeling seeped through every pore on my body and along with it, a happy smile appeared on my face. I donned a gauzy button down to cover myself so as to not flash the neighborhood, and we set off at a leisurely pace to the temple to report my newest changes. Imagine my surprise to find Sam and Elder Ho sitting on a bench just inside the entrance.

Sam was dumbfounded, and Elder Ho graced me with a quirk of his lips. We all bowed to each other then the old monk turned to Sam.

"Tell her that I see Chang-Ngo has once again blessed her. It is obvious that Cho-Ri holds a place in her heart."

I was surprised that the elder was speaking perfect English. When Sam turned to relay the message I held up my hand and nodded, gesturing that I understood.

"You did?"

I nodded. What? I motioned.

"You understood Korean?" Sam asked.

I shook my head and pantomimed writing on something. The Elder studied me for a moment. "Come, young one, let us retire to the temple and a place where you may speak freely."

Oh hallelujah!

We went inside and back down into the basement to the very end of the hall, this time. Incense was burning thick here but there was good ventilation so I didn't feel suffocated. Hee and I looked around and waited for what was going to happen next.

"The walls of this room are protected from evil spirits, you no longer need to be silent, but only as long as you are in this room," the Elder explained.

"Thank you, sir." Something else I'd learned. My voice hadn't changed. I was always able to emulate a girl's voice easily, but I usually had to put effort into it. I wasn't quite sure if I was doing so right at that moment.

Sam startled. "You speak Korean?"

"Um, no. Well a few words, but nothing like you or Hee."

Hee grabbed my upper arm. "Cho, you're speaking Korean right now."

"I am?"

"You're are using my dialect as well, Cho-Ri," the Elder told me. "It is refreshing to be spoken to this way. I have not heard the true language of my father for many years."

My hand had found the way to my throat and I rubbed at it softly. "But how?"

The old monk broke another smile. "Is it not enough to accept the gift, and not question its origins?"

I nodded. "I've always been curious, Elder Ho, but I will accept anything Chan-Ngo will give me."

Had I already become a believer? Well, it was hard not to believe considering how I've changed over the last two days.

Elder Ho nodded in understanding. "From our discussion this morning, Sam-Li informs me that you embody the essence of Tao; that you are like water. Tell, me young one. Would you be willing to spend the day with me in conversation on this subject?"

He wanted to talk to me about Tao? The only thing that I knew was what I'd learned from Sam. "I don't really know anything, but I can talk about it with you if you'd like."

Sam noted the gesture that the Elder made in his direction and he took Hee by the elbow to show her out of the room. I gave her a reassuring smile as she left.

"Please, have a seat."

I saw two cushions on the floor, facing each other and took the one that the elder didn't. My legs naturally assumed the lotus position, which I was familiar with but rarely used. Again, I accepted the difference in my actions like it was expected. I found myself less and less worried about change. It would come and I would change.

"You do not seem to be worried or afraid, Cho-Ri."

I found that I needed to mull over things a little longer than I was used to, like I needed to say something profound, or at least somewhat intelligent to convey how I actually felt. "I am afraid. But when I… see through my fear, I know I'll be safe."

"I now know why Sam-Li recognizes your spirit. You come by Tao very naturally."

I smiled in question. "Is that a good thing, Elder?"

"It is neither good nor bad. It just is."

How transcendent are we gonna get here?

We spent hours sitting there, talking. I eventually grew hungry, and we ate steamed rice and boiled chicken for lunch. Sam brought in the food and sat it at a nearby table. I felt compelled to serve the elder, not by anything they did or said, but as something one does for someone older and wiser than they are.

While I was familiar with some customs, such as table settings and general manners, I did not know them all, but did what came natural. When I reclaimed my pillow, Elder Ho was again smiling at me.

"You have served in a traditional house before, Cho-Ri?"

"No, sir."

He left it at that, and me wondering what I did right or wrong. See, this is why I could never be a monk or practice religion. I feel like an idiot every time I turn around.

Once lunch was over I cleaned up the place setting and set them on the tray, which I set outside the curtained room. Elder Ho looked tired from the morning's excursions. "If you will, young one, please forgive my old man's body. I have not had such invigorating conversation in such a long time, and it has tired me."

I knelt next to him and offered my help getting him to his feet. He paused several times to allow his body to regain its regular motion. I had suspected from the pained movements that he was suffering from arthritis. "May I assist you to your chambers, grandfather."

He turned his head to me and sighed with contentment. "Your help would not be turned away, child."

It took us a good part of fifteen to twenty minutes to walk from one end of the temple to the other, and it wasn't that big. When we arrived I noted the soft down mattress in the corner. It was small and simple, much like the décor in that room. I walked him over, and helped him sit on the bed. The one thing I did not do was pity the man. It was the way it was. People grow old and their bodies wear out. I knew he was near his time. It was easily seen when I took the time to actually look at him.

Before I left him he took my by the hand. "You will please inform Sam-Li that I wish to speak to him."

I nodded. "Of course, grandfather."

He squeezed my hand one last time. "You give me hope for the future, Cho-Ri. Follow your heart and spirit, they are one within you, and you will walk the path of Tao, granddaughter."

I smiled at his affection. "Get some rest, Grandfather. I will send for Sam."

For some reason unclear to me at the time I returned to the private room that I spent my time with Elder Ho. To my knowledge, Sam spent the better part of an hour with him before returning to that same room. His face was saddened, and I knew what had happened.

I stood and approached him while he waited for me by the basement entrance. Taking his arm I stood beside him, and the words fell from my mouth. I did not know where they came from, but somehow I did know that they were true about Elder Ho.

"Who can achieve his purpose is able to direct men. And his influence upon them long endures. Deeply rooted and firmly established, his vision lives on even after death."

It made sense to me, but I was still somewhat troubled about where the words came from. "I have to go now, Sam. Hee is probably sitting on the couch worried for me. But I will be back tomorrow morning. I have a feeling we aren't quite done here yet."

Before leaving I arched up on my tip-toes and kissed him lightly on the cheek.

The ride home was somber, but relaxing at the same time. I was happy that Elder Ho had some pleasure in the end, and I was happy that I contributed in giving him that pleasure. But I will miss talking to him. In the short time that I knew the old monk, he had an affect on me.

Now, I had to wait for one more night to find out what would happen next, and for now I wasn't afraid of what was to come. I would accept it and move on. I would not let fear and adversity block my way. Instead I would flow around it and mold it with my patience, because one day fear and adversity will crumble before me.

I am like water.

Photo Credit: Lee Hyo Ri

Author's Note:No this is not the end of Cho's story. This is only the first. I picture this story like the old TV show "Kung Fu" but without all the martial arts... well, maybe some martial arts. I will pop in a story here and there. It will be complete, as this one is, but hopefully leaving you wanting more. But first I will get back and finish The Center. I just had to get this story out of my head. Hopefully you liked it.