jengrl's blog

I Just Read An Article on MSNBC.com

I just read an article about how more and more companies are offering SRS and Breast Augmentation for Transsexual employees in their Health Insurance plans. It talked about Wells Fargo Bank, Coca Cola,AT&T, New York Life, and others are offering SRS as a means to promote tolerance and diversity. I left a comment on the article, but I can tell you that it definitely brought out the bigots in full force on the comments page. Most of them, had absolutely no experience with the issue and spouted off from their own point of view.

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Is Anyone Using Open Office?

I wanted to know if anyone uses Open Office? I downloaded it and I really can't tell any difference between Microsoft Word. The templates actually look better than Word and the document and spreadsheet program is identical. They also claim it is compatible with Word and reads PDF files just the same. The part I like is that it's free. I couldn't afford to purchase Word when my trial subscription ran out.

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I Had This Dream Last Night

I had this really vivid dream last night that surprised me because it was the first time since I started my transition, that I have dreamed in such detail. The biggest difference was that in this dream, I was 100% female. Anyway, I was a teenage girl with long curly blonde hair that reminded me of Taylor Swift's style. I was apparently around 15 or 16 and new to this town and new to this High School. This group of girls invited me to go to the movies with them, so one of my parents dropped me off.

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My Dad

Today I went to see my dad for our annual Christmas get together. He told me when I first started transition, that he loved me no matter what. I just wish he could get it through his head that my name is Jennifer now. He sent me a card for my birthday last month addressed to my old male name. I just pitched it in the garbage can. He did the same thing with the Christmas card he sent me this year too. I did the same thing to that one too. I opened my gift he gave me today and the outside of money card envelop said the same thing.

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When It Rains, It Pours!

You know the saying "When it rains, it pours? That sums up my week . First, the battery died in my car on Tuesday, then today, my AC adapter goes shot on my computer and then if that wasn't enough, my dog went to the vet with a yeast infection in his ears. It seems like things always happen like this at this time of the year. My sister paid the vet bill, but the car battery and AC adapter are not in my budget at all for the moment. I wish I had a fairy Godmother with a used Toshiba adaptor and a car battery laying around somewhere.( Fat chance of that one!

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My Friend Just Told Me About A Billboard She Saw

My friend Danielle told me about a billboard she drove past in downtown LA. It was an advertisement for a Cosmetic Gynecologist. She was asking what that meant and I told her that it sounded like it could be a new creative term for a Sex Reassignment surgeon. LOL!

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I Have Diabetes

I went to see my doctor today and I took the diabetes test. My fasting glucose level was 154, so she put me on Metaformin and set new guidelines for my diet. I definitely have to lose weight too. The good news is that if we keep it under control, I can still have my SRS in the future. I am going to do everything possible to follow her instructions. I am grateful that we caught this early on before it turned into something more serious.

Hugs,

Jen

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My Birthday Was A Bit Disappointing

My birthday was a bit disappointing. I had some longtime family friends there as well as my brother, sister-in-law and nephew. The small group of friends that I personally invited never showed up at all. I was very hurt and disappointed, but I guess that's life! I told people that I won't celebrate any more birthdays, because I don't want to get so excited about seeing my friends and then have them decide that I wasn't worth their time. It felt like all the times I was rejected in High School. I got to the point that I withdrew and quit putting myself out there to be hurt again.

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My George Jones CD Is Cued For "I Don't Need Your Rocking Chair"

Today my family will declare me to be over-the-hill officially as I have achieved that milestone that women don't talk about. I have my George Jones CD cued to "I Don't Need Your Rocking Chair" and I will use it to remind everyone who rubs it in too much! There is a few more miles left in this girl before she is officially "Over -the- hill" I don't intend to go quietly either! At least I can say I have the best gift already. The wonderful friends and family I have!

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I Got Some News

The nurse from my Endocrinologists office called and told me that she was sending my new prescriptions out to me. She did tell me that my blood sugar was elevated and they scheduled me for an appointment on December 10th. I am hoping and praying that I can get it down by modifying my diet and not have to start insulin. I hate needles anyway,so the idea of sticking myself a few times a day is not high on my list of things I want to get started doing. My family history is not on my side with regards to diabetes. I just hope I can change habits and take care of it that way.

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I Had A Blue Day Today

I have had a blue day today. I was asked what I wanted to do for my big milestone birthday coming up on the 27th and I told my family that I wanted to invite a few friends over to share it with me. I found out one of them will be in for Thanksgiving with her family, but she will be going back home the same day and won't be able to come back for Sat. My other friend is still mad at me and she probably won't want to come for my birthday. I just don't know why I am still taking this so hard over the last month, but it still hurts me so much. I just can't let go of things so easily.

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I Had Blood Work Today

I had my blood work done today and I am worried that if they find anything wrong that my doctor will stop my HRT. I am keeping my fingers crossed that everything comes out okay. I have been lucky that things have come out fine in the past. I will be on pins and needles waiting for the results. I imagine I will be on edge all weekend until I know what the results are. Has anyone had their HRT stopped because of something showing up. I guess I am just freaking out over the prospect. I imagine I am coming across as borrowing trouble. I just can't help it right now.

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Feeling Depressed

I have been feeling depressed over the last few days and I have been crying more than I have for a long time. One of my best friends refuses to speak to me now because I got caught in the middle of a drama starring one of our mutual now ex friends from High School. This guy is a nutjob and he has been stalking her. He is convinced they are a couple even when she tries to tell him they aren't. I got mad and told him to leave her alone and she gets mad at me because she thinks I am partially to blame for this whole mess. I am afraid for her safety because he knows where she lives.

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I Guess I Will Leave It To The Professionals

I guess I will leave the writing to the professionals from now on. 847 people read my newest story and only 18 people thought it was good. I guess that pretty much tells me that the majority of you didn't like it. I haven't decided whether I have any muse left anymore. She seems to have abandoned me. Anyway, I guess I will sit back and watch and enjoy the talents of so many others. I am clearly not even close to being in the same league. I might start writing again sometime when I get some inspiration. Right now it seems to be missing.

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The Blood Red Tombstone

My entry for the All Hallows Eve Contest is a work in progress but it will be a story attached to my "That Summer I Found Her" Universe. The story is called "The Blood Red Tombstone" and it takes place during the month of All Hallows Eve in the same year Jessica, Kara, Lyndsey and Allysa get married. The story behind "The Blood Red Tombstone" will be told by Kara's grandmother and it will go back to 350 years previous before the Clans were forced to flee to America. It should be up very soon!

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"If You Only Knew Me" Is A Good Show

I was flipping through channels last night when I happened to come across a great show on MTV called "If You Only Knew Me" A team of counselors goes into different schools and seeks to unite the school and break up the various cliques that exist by showing them they have more in common than they think. In last night's episode, they went to Neenah High School in Neenah, Wisconsin. There were the usual Jocks, Preppies, Stoners and EMO kids.

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I Went To My 20th Reunion Last Night

I went to my 20th High School Reunion last night and the reaction to me was very positive. The girls I spent time with in High School welcomed me with open arms. We had so much fun! There were eight of us girls out on the floor at one time and we just let loose! We danced four dances in a row before we sat down to rest. My friends were thrilled that I found happiness and that I was finally on the same side of the fence with them.

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Feeling Depressed

I'm feeling pretty depressed right now. My 88 year old grandmother is dying up in New Hampshire and I won't get to see her again before she passes. My mother, brother, sister-in-law and my 4 year old nephew left this morning to go see her. She accepted me with open arms when I came out as her fifth granddaughter and even gave me two very steamy Romance novels my first Christmas as Jennifer. My mom's side of the family has really been like night and day in the way they have accepted me as compared to my dad's side. I guess it really has to do with the North/South attitudes toward tolerance.

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Dealing With Nurse Nightmare

I have been doing battle the last two days trying to get two of my meds refilled. I have had to deal with the nurse for my Endocrinologist. I have been so frustrated with her I could scream! She interrogated me up one side and down the other about why I needed the refills. I have dubbed her "Nurse Nightmare, because it is a real nightmare dealing with her . I told her that my prescriptions were expired. She kept arguing that I couldn't be out of refills. The doctor put five refills on there, but there is no way that I use five vials in a year.

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Playing Dumb When It Comes To I.D

Last week, my truck broke down just a few miles from home and I had to call a tow truck to come. I was out in the sun for three hours before the jerk showed up. After he tows me to the garage, he asks me for my Drivers license when I handed him a check. He then says "Are you aware that they made a mistake on your license? I played dumb and said I wasn't aware of that. He then say "Goodbye sir" I was seething mad. I will never ever allow my car to be towed by that prick or his company ever again if I can help it. He actually insulted me twice by charging me an outrageous amount as well.

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Depressed And Discouraged

I am feeling depressed and discouraged over my employment situation(or lack thereof)I interviewed for a job and they asked me if I was available for two weeks training before they opened. I said yes and they led me to believe I would be getting a call. Apparently, they decided not to give me a chance. If there is one thing about being Trans that I do have a problem with, it is putting up with all the blatant job discrimination out there. I have applied for over 500 jobs in the last three years and I very rarely get an interview or even a chance to prove myself.

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Sixth Anniversary Of Starting HRT

Today(June 1st) is the sixth anniversary of my first shot of Estridiol Valerate and the 20th anniversary of my graduation from High School. I can't believe it has been that long. I can say that I feel truly blessed to be here living this moment now. It took me 33 years before I started, but I can honestly say, I wouldn't trade this journey for anything. I have wonderful friends here on BCTS and wonderful long time friends from High School that are still with me for this. I consider myself to be a very blessed woman indeed. Thanks for being there with me. Here's to many more wonderful years.

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Anyone Have A Targus Universal AC Adapter For Your Laptop?

Anyone have a Targus Universal AC adaptor for your Laptop? If you do, there is a recall on them for adaptors made through March of this year. If you have one, you can go to www.cpsc.gov for further information. Mine was on the list and I was able to return it for a full refund at the place where I purchased it( In my case,Walmart). Apparently they caused fires and may cause internal damage to the computer itself. Since I am waiting for an actual Toshiba adaptor to be sent to me, I haven't been able to finish Part 3 of my latest story. I apologize for the delay.

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That Summer I Found Her ! Part 1 Of 3

I started writing this story last night and my muse threatened to be uncooperative, but when I got into it, things just started flowing. I plan to add another part of it tonight because the ideas are flowing once again. I really don't know if anyone likes it, but I assume they do because at least 560 of you have read it. I plan on revealing some more surprises before I'm done so stay tuned!

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I Could Be Homeless Soon

I am facing the possibility of being homeless soon. My family is wanting to throw me out because my Unemployment has run out and I have yet to be able to find a job. Adding to that, I am being given a hard time for daring to have any friends and if they dare send me anything in the mail, my whole family acts like someone would have to be crazy to be friends with me. I am almost at the end of my rope with the whole situation.

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I Am Considering Posting My Autobiography To This Site

I am considering posting my Autobiography to this site. I wrote it back in 2004 as a way to let my family know how and why I came to transition. I am hoping my story might inspire others who are just starting this journey. Would anyone like to read it? I came across it when I was going through some old papers yesterday and felt inspired to share it here on BCTS.

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Keep Your Fingers Crossed For Me

My friend Kayla is an actress and model and she put out a bulletin for someone to help with Makeup for this film she is working on called "Santa Vs. Zombies" She contacted me and put me in touch with the Director and I sent him a message. If he wants to hire me , it will be my first real paying job in a long time. Please keep your fingers crossed and say a few prayers for me. I really need the money.

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