Why I Write What I Write...

Why I Write What I Write...

by Joanne Foxcourt

 

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Admin Note: Originally published on Bigcloset Classic on Monday, January 19, 2004 - 12:59 am this retro blog was pulled out of the closet, and re-presented for our newer readers. ~Sephrena
 

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Taking up the thread by Little Katie and the challenge by Patricia Marie Allen I thought, "what the heck?" So, here is my take on why I write what I write. Not that I have had such a long career, but...

 

I actually have always wanted to write but I was never all that good at it. More specifically, I think, I never found the right subject to get the flow going in the right (or is it write?) direction. Being an avid reader, I've always envied all of those that are able to put their thoughts on to paper and I wished I could too. That envy kind of changed for me quite a few months ago now (has it been that long?) when I first read Little Katie's How Life Can Change story.

 

The story captivated my imagination. Not so much the story contents itself, though I thoroughly enjoyed it (even the places that I found to be quite difficult), but the idea of "what if?" that it contained. In many ways it begged the question first really, seriously, asked in As Nature Made Him. This is a true story of a child who was emasculated by a surgeon's mistake and then deals with the ensuing attempts made to raise him as a girl ultimately failing and demonstrating the question of nature versus nurture. The question becomes, for me, what would happen if the child already had some leanings to gender dysphoria in the first place? Imagine, then, the harm that could have been inflicted on my sisters if that child had embraced their change as a result of the accident. Katie traveled that path to some degree and the question started to burn inside even more because I wanted to see the answers. Had I been that child, what would have happened?

 

I haven't, of course, answered that question in my story about Audra, not entirely anyways. I'm also not going to tell you the answer, because I'm still working through the next phase of that story and I don't want to spoil things for people who are looking forward to it. Suffice to say, many of you could figure it out to some degree, but I'm hoping for surprises in any case. *grin*

 

Anyways, I posted my first attempt on Storysite and it was very heavily read (quite surprised me actually). Erin then asked me for permission (which she doesn't need, but it was very polite of her anyways) to post it on BigCloset as well. Things have sort of grown with additional works since and not even related to the initial motivation in the slightest.

 

However, first and foremost, the credit for motivating me to write goes to Little Katie. It's very much that simple a statement. Her efforts inspired me and Audra is, was, and remains an attempt to compliment her work.

 

From here, I've modified some of the question, slightly, to more align with the sort of things I write. There is little point in answering what doesn't directly apply to me unless the answer has value in context.

 

Q: Why write transgender works?

 

The answer to that is very simple: I'm transgendered. The genre, in and of itself, is fascinating because it can cover such an impressive spectrum. I'll personally admit to preferring works that are non-sexual in nature, but the gamut of the subject is incredible.

 

If you want to look at it from a different angle, consider how basic and intrinsic the concept of gender is to humanity. Even those of us who have an internalized understanding that gender isn't all that binary understand the profound nature of it. Why else would we all have had such a Big Closet at one time or another? Given that, what can be more profound a shift for a hero(ine) of a story than to have their notions of gender chopped out from under them? Obviously, given the sheer volume of TG fiction on the Internet, a lot of people see that as a powerful device. It is a device, make no mistake, but one for which we have a distinct affinity.

 

So, to answer the question... Why not?

 

Q: Why write stories about children/teens?

 

I'm pretty much evenly split on the age ranges (child, teen, and adult) as far as what I've written to date, however a focus on children or teens has powerful potential. Consider that these are people that are still building their identities, their sense of self. As I suggested in the last question, the change of gender is a powerful tool for any person, but in regards to one who is already in an identity struggle? Wow.

 

Also, there is the question of lost time. Personally, they give me some chance to go back and answer the questions around what would have happened if I had taken the steps to come out early in life. At this point in my life, at least half the people who know me know my bi-gendered nature, but how would my life have been if I had been quicker to identify myself? Who knows, but when you start in your late twenties, there is a lot of "what if" questions to ask. Writing fiction that deals with earlier years allows for some attempt to answer that. Of course, it can also be wishful thinking about what might have been.

 

Q: What about sexual situations?

 

I don't really do these very well and I generally avoid them. My stories don't aim to titillate, even unintentionally, in a sexual sense. Which is not to say that I don't have a strong sexual imagination, but I don't really want to write erotica. We all have our fantasies, but I share those with just one other. That may change, of course, if the "muse" hits with the right kind of erotica. Until then, it's not what I write.

 

Q: Explain how you describe a scene or person.

 

What I try to do is give the reader enough information to visualize and fill in the blanks. I would think that most authors (if I can call myself that, but let's pretend) do that as best they can, even if it's subconsciously. At times I'm probably far too wordy to meet the requirement. At other times, not enough. It's always a difficult line to walk.

 

I'm not good at drawing out scenes about clothing, trips to beauty parlors, and the like. I want each section to push the story forward, not add window dressing unless it has value. I think some, perhaps many, people enjoy the long scenes of malls or salons, but I'd wager that their imagination is going to have greater impact on their reading than what I write. Why spoil that? I don't want to bog people down in the mundane details about the color and dimensions of the specific hair curler stuck into my heroine's hair.

 

Q: What is your style of writing then?

 

Haphazard? *wink*

 

I don't have a defined style as such. I write what I write and I'm not a professional, unless you mean professional software developer. I doubt anyone would read my story if it looked like:

 

heroine = hero.sex_change();

heroine.getupset();

while( heroine.upset )

{

if( heroine.overcome_challenge() )

{

heroine.feel_good = true;

heroine.upset = false; }

}

 

Of course, much of TG fiction looks a bit like that anyways, but if it was put so bluntly, it would bore most people. What I try to do, from a style perspective, is present a balance between showing the emotions and development of the character versus moving the story forward through the crises intended to cause that development. Each section of the story, from my perspective, needs to do that. I don't know if you can call it a style, but the process of it can be a bit sparse and that is a style I suppose.

 

Q: What areas do you feel you need to improve?

 

Perhaps a better question would be: What areas don't I? Everything needs to improve, I do nothing perfect (okay, I do sleep pretty much perfect, but I've had lots of practice) especially in writing. I need to improve my character development, my dialog, my scene development, my motivations, and so on. I my humble opinion, and it's just an opinion, every author can improve in these areas.

 

Specifically, I need to improve on non-dialog scenes, something that weirds me out to no end. I used to totally hate writing dialog, now I write too much of it. I guess I'm just chatty by nature... By the way, if you are ever the beneficiary of writing advice from Aardvark, pay attention! Awesome advice even if I didn't listen to all of it.

 

Q: Where do you get your story ideas from?

 

I've already mention the two places that my first story (and it's revision) came from. After that, it depends. My second story came from me, my life, as it were. The next came from Aesop's fables. Ultimately, stories come from within. No matter what, if the story isn't bursting to come out of you, nothing external is going to make you write. It has to be something that grabs you a lot, or even just a little. It doesn't have to be dramatic or life changing, just something that compels you to get it out.

 

Of course, what you do with it after it is written is a different issue. I've written down a lot of things that have pushed their way out, but only a very tiny, read miniscule, amount has ever been polished into something I would care to share.

 

Q: Which stories do you enjoy?

 

If this helps, my two favorite authors are Tigger and Ellen Hayes.

 

Tigger because the Aunt Jane stories are so caring, so fundamentally powerful in their characters that I can read them over and over again. For me, the interest is in the use of gender to teach, to grow. That the characters can come face to face with those challenges and become better is a wonderful message. Think about it. They say that breaking the static concepts of binary gender will help us become more complete. What a totally cool message.

 

Ellen's Tuck series is different, but the message is the same. Tucker becomes so much more than just Eugene or Valerie from the experiences. How much growth is there? It's incredible. Also, reading it, I can't help but feel envious of Tucker. Does that make sense? It does to me.

 

What it boils down to is that I like stories in which the fusion of the genders makes for a better, more complete person. Whether the character reverts back to their original gender or not is irrelevant. What is important is that the character becomes greater from the process.

 

I believe, in my own heart, that the fusion of my two genders has made me a better person over all. Right or wrong, I gravitate to stories that validate that.

 

Q: Is it important to have a happy ending?

 

Short answer? No. What is important is to have an ending with meaning. The ending has to provide the right kind of closure for the story being told. Have you seen the movie Boys Don't Cry? Hardly a happy ending (also another true story about life crossing the gender boundaries), but it was an ending that had meaning. Admittedly, it almost had to end that way because the real story did, but Hollywood isn't above changing things to suit them, just watch any Disney re-creation of Grimm's fairy tales if you don't believe me. Nevertheless, any other ending would have rung false to the viewer and ruined a powerful story.

 

Having said that, I like happy endings. I like endings that show a positive direction. I just wouldn't force that for the sake of it.

 

Q: Do you feel you are a successful author?

 

What is the measure of success? I don't know. However, I do feel that I have been successful and there are a couple of reasons:

 

1. Almost exclusively, the feedback I've received has been very positive. There have been some negative comments, but they are very much in the extreme minority. That's a very gratifying thing. To know that I have touched and reached some people, people that have taken the time to respond directly, is very comforting. I can't really articulate it very well, it's quite a humbling experience.

 

2. I wrote something and I didn't die of shame to have others read it. No matter what, that is a personal success. To go from wanting to write but failing to actually putting something "out there" for people to see is a success. To me it is, in any case.

 

Q: What is on the horizon?

 

I have irons in a few fires.

 

There is the ongoing story of Audra, which is in dire need of completion. However, I need to step back from her, to give me a chance to work through my ideas and hopes for the story. I will complete this tale. Not only have I said I would, but I need to. But I want to make sure that I do it right without paralyzing myself at the same time. Hence the breathing space.

 

I've just released a new serialized, or will be serialized, story based on a male witch that messes up. He becomes she through various triggers related to the timeless fables by Aesop. The story is much lighter, more oriented at having some fun with the concepts of gender. Anyways, it has begun appearing on fiction sites and I hope you like it. So far, the small feedback has been positive.

 

I've also been working on my very own Aunt Jane story. I'm not sure of this, I'm justifiably nervous because of the incredible stories already written in this setting, not to mention the incredibly talented authors that did the work. I almost feel as if I'm intruding into a select company of people when I haven't earned that right. At some point I'll have to beg Tigger to take a look, but that isn't in the immediate future.

 

Finally, I have a partial written in Aardvark's Unity setting. I'm stuck here because I'm probably too much of a tech geek to write tech stories. I keep wanting to get into the technical details of the system and I'm having a hard time stopping myself. I love the concept, though, so I will go back to this story at some point.

 

That pretty much sums it up. I likely have too much on the go, I don't know. However, I still enjoy it and there are days when the words just flow. As long as that happens on a reasonably regular basis, the stories will come.