You keep giving a child matches and he WILL burn the village down.

Beyond thinking of BC as Erin's the private residence and we are but guests, think of BC as a airplane simulator except to train wannbe and maybe some eventual real writers. Mistakes will happen. People will crash and burn. Rules of etiquette, standards for posting of materials/opinions, proper attributions of sources and the ilk may be broken at times but this is a good place to learn how not to make those mistakes and to learn so in safety.

Yeah, it drives me crazy when I see someone do something wrong. I want to scream What the HECK Are you ...! But then I realize maybe they don't know, made an honest mistake and are learning. I never want to be judge and jury.

I am perhaps too forgiving, too slow to anger but that is me.

Diversity will keep BC healthy whether it be for thick skinned folks like me, strange iconoclastic whatever the hecks like you, Laika, and the more fragile souls here struggling with issues involving health, their work and families and TG ... or whatever troubles them.

Don't ever feel you must not speak your mind. Just always do so with respect. Just because someone appears to have done something objectionable does not mean they intended to. Just like sometimes I sound like a blonde bimbo does mean, I mean doesn't mean... I ...huh? like, um, uh what was I, you know. Okay I am sometimes!

IE. Let Erin sort out the rest. It is her right as the site owner. If someone notices something serious has happened in their opinion, they should contact Erin privately and let her investigate.

I agree it's frustrating sometimes but then I like to think of BC as a herd of cats. Try rounding them up someday. Though a can of tuna and a can opener may help.

But please feel free to squash mash and bash spanners.

I hates um!

John in Wauwatosa

P.S. time to put this subject to bed. Okay? Me included. Sorry.

It's not our job to police this site, because technically, it's not our site at all. It's Erin's. And as she points out time and again when we frustrate and anger her, we're lucky to have it at all.

So if you're frustrated or upset with something that happens here, don't comment. The person who made you frustrated or upset will just get defensive, others will come to YOUR defense and to hers, and before you know it we'll all be staring at a "Site Offline" message that could wind up permanent. Send a PM if it makes you feel better, but remember that the only reason to send the PM is literally to make you feel better. It's just a way to vent, and that will probably be the only thing you get out of it, if you get anything from it at all. Because it's literally a roll of the dice. If you send it to the person who upset you, they might apologize, or they might tell you to go to Hell. And there's not a damn thing you can do about it, either way.

Sending a PM to Erin to complain about something is also nothing more than a way to vent, really. You need to understand before you click "send" that she is not under any obligation to respond to or address your concerns -- and who could blame her? Nobody wants to be a police officer -- even cops on the street who chose it for a career wonder why sometimes. Erin gives us a place where we can write and post and read the works of others. She certainly isn't obligated to be the playground monitor, even if someone is acting childish.

And if someone is harassing you, or stalking you, or even just wanting to be more than a friend, ignore them. You don't even need willpower -- that's what the site's ignore function is for. They will soon find that trying to intimidate or annoy someone who doesn't even read what you write gets very boring eventually. And it's not like they can walk through the Internet and start pounding on your virtual door. *grin*

So even though, as part of a site full of writers, your first impulse is to dash off an angry note as a comment or even a PM, DON'T. You'd get rid of your frustration quicker if you went outside, hung a pillow from a tree, and beat it into a loose collection of feathers. But that could wind up costing you a LOT. You might want to invest in a punching bag, or for the financially challenged, an inflatable clown with a round bottom who keeps getting right back up when you knock him down -- although that eventually gets frustrating in its own way. *smile*

Remember, you can never control what others do. You can only control what you do. And I'm doing my best to keep my opinions and emotions to myself. It's quieter that way. *grin* It does tend to make me feel like less a part of the community, not being able to share what I feel. But there's always a give and take in any decision you make. And at least I still get to post stories, and read others by writers I enjoy and respect.

Randalynn