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I have been fighting a losing battle with negative self-image lately, and yesterday, I think I figured out why. I was working in the health and beauty department, restocking the hair color isle, when it hit me. Every box I put on the shelf had a picture of a beautiful woman, with flawless skin, amazing hair, and all the rest. Each picture was like water torture, eroding my ability to see myself as passable, much less pretty. I have to keep fighting this feeling. Despair is deadly.
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I know it probably doesn't
I know it probably doesn't help that much, but you aren't alone. It's not a problem that's limited to the TG community (or even women). Look at Anorexia and Bulimia. Even the major fashion show locations have been banning models with unhealthy BMI's, finally. People have always been exposed to 'what looks good', especially for women.
I'll get a life when it's proven and substantiated to be better than what I'm currently experiencing.
Look at real women
Go to the Greyhound station, the subway, the railroad station, or even the airport. Look at the women passing though. These are much closer to the true average of the population than the models on the boxes you are sorting. This is what you should compare against, if anything.
Repeat as needed.
- Moni
Wal-Mart
Have you really looked at not just the women but all the people who shop there? You'll find very few 'Next Top Models' in there. Compared to some I've seen wandering that place in little more than bathrobes and flip-flops, even I look good and that's saying something sister!
Remember that's why all those airbrushed pictures are on those boxes to begin with. To make people believe they can look that good if they just buy their snake-oil, err, I mean product!
I know it sounds cynical, but I also know how more vulnerable we are to such advertising. Sex sells, and those young beautiful pictures are the promise that the product never lives up to.
Be gentle with yourself hon.
Big hugs
Grover
(Jacqui)
Don't set a ridiculous standard
RAMI
Don't set a ridiculous standard to measure yourself against. The women on those boxes and their counterparts on T.V., are in the top 5% of looks. Even the men on the male hair color boxs are above the norm.
Look at the folks buying the stuff, and compare yourself against them.
It may not help your self image alot, but try not to compare yourself against your dream image of yourself, but as against the whole spectrum. I'm sure the comparison would make yourself feel better
Rami
RAMI
Negitive self-image
Dorothy, remember that not all women are of model caliber. In fact, I bet that most wish that they had model looks.
May Your Light Forever Shine
May Your Light Forever Shine
This is not my idea of a battle
... with a negative self-image - it seems to be more about seeing how hard you can hurt yourself. It is no wonder you have a low self-esteem if you unfavourably compare yourself with these dolls, who have spent years torturing themselves with ridiculous diets to be to be horribly thin, hours in make-up to try to remove every blemish, and then afterwards the pictures have to be air-brushed to make them even "better" - you surely don't imagine there is anything real about these images, did you?
Do with them what other people do - assign them to the level of harmless fantasy. We might enjoy playing with dolls, but we all know they aren't actually real.
Everyone of us possesses a simple way to dramatically improve our appearance to make our faces the equal of any of those you see on the boxes - it's called a smile. Forget the unreal, and instead be grateful for what you have - and smile.
There, you've transformed yourself already.
Get Real Dorothy
When you were in your deepest despair prior to taking steps to transition were you saying "Dear god make me a Barbie doll, or a runway model, actress, etc" did you even ask to be cute, 30 years younger and 100 lbs thinner? No, you wanted more than anything to be NOT MALE, you wanted to be a woman; a minor miracle in itself. Now that you are getting you life's deepest wish you have the ..... to negotiate the details?
This is not a make a wish and get granted your fantasy Dorothy, for the best of us its an 80% solution at best and thats a whole lot of fantastic considering the alternative isn't it?. Be grateful for what you have. Be grateful there is a solution, be grateful there are providers, solutions, therapists and surgeons and even laws in place for us. For gods sake please develop a positive mental attitude about this because the ongoing drama that is your present life is hurting you deeply and holding you back from what could be the fulfillment of your dreams if you could only see it from the inside and not comparing the image in the mirror to the unrealistic and unattainable picture on the box of hair color.
The upside is Congratulations, welcome to womanhood! You and 90% of the rest of the female population have the same feelings about not being able to measure up to the commercially packaged woman.