I am so sorry, but it had to be that way. I can't tell it any way but straight. I don't want you to hurt more later than what I hurt you now. There is no sugar coating it. We think what we want to think, hear what we want to hear, and do what we want to do. I can not take the responsibility for your life.
You would have me lie to you and tell you it is gonna be alright wouldn't you? Well, it is not gonna be alright. You will have to learn to hold on with all your might even though tears blind you and weeping make it so you can't breathe. Maybe if you change; get tough; focus on your goals and the reasons for them.
You must cast aside all else but your singular goal. Like a chick from the egg, you focus on one single thing, forgetting all else, and everyone you love. You can't let anyone tell you that you are wrong and they are right.
Even as I write this, it breaks my heart that it is not as you wish it to be.
Someone from my past contacted me tonight, as if everything was fine. How do I trust you when you had me ready to jump from the 8th floor not so long ago. How do I trust you ever again? How do I trust anyone again?
I want to be gentle to you and tell you it is gonna be alright. It won't be. That is unless you change. I can not do it for you.
Someone was hard on me and I hated them for it.
You can hate me if you like.
Gwen
Comments
Sometimes, you gotta be cruel,
to be kind. Sometimes the truth hurts, even though the truth is almost always better than falsehoods... at least when it comes to the most important things in life.
To hate someone who tells one the truth, is pointless, and counter productive in the long run. One needs only to look at us, the TGs of the world. By lying to ourselves for varying numbers of years about who and what we really are, only hurt us. It's only when we were forced to face the truth, that we truly became aware and, to a large extent, free to examine and reach decisions about what we needed and wanted for us in our lives.
I know without a doubt that, acknowledging the truth about myself was the only thing that kept me from doing the unthinkable. It freed me and I will never regret that I had friends who were TRUE friends, and were good enough friends that they knew that me hiding the truth and lying to myself and the rest of the world was killing me, so even if it hurt, they made me face the truth.
Only real, true friends will do that. We don't need, and shouldn't want, "yes" men or women in our lives. Oh sure, it's okay to dance around a truth when it's something relatively unimportant, such as that old question about, "Does this skirt make my butt look fat?", but when it's a life affecting thing, then only the truth will suffice.
I'm sure you did the right thing, Gwen, and if the person in question does hate you for it, I'm sure it won't last. Once they understand that you told them the truth and it was a truth that they HAD to hear, they;ll come back and thank you for helping open their eyes. If they don't, well frankly, you might be better off without their "friendship."
I know you as a good hearted person, with people's best interests at heart, but don't beat yourself up for having to educate someone who might not have even realized the effect they had on you through their ignorance... and don't let it sour you on trusting. Without the ability and the faith to trust, one lessens oneself. You're better than that, hon.
Warm, fuzzy Huggles and lots of love,
Cathy
As a T-woman, I do have a Y chromosome... it's just in cursive, pink script.