My Wife passed on this morning.

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Sadly, I must inform everyone that my wife Nancy, ended her 1 year, 7 mo struggle with lung cancer this morning, 31 Jul 2010 at 0730 hrs. She passed peacefully in her sleep which is all I hoped for. Her goal after being informed of having the cancer was to live long enough to see our youngest grandson, Deacon (age 3 on 1 Aug 10); get on his first school bus, because she had put all our other grandchildren on theirs. As we, in our family, knew she wasn't going to be able to reach her goal, a secret plan was hatched that had a school bus come to the Hospice Center where she was; and then Deacon's Mom, Dad, and big brother Bailey, had me get Nancy brought out by the Hospice Nursing staff in a wheelchair so she could watch Deacon get on the bus. Both he and Bailey were dressed like they were going to school. The bus driver, Theresa, gave some bus safety talk to Deacon and then helped him board. She then had him wave out a partially opened window; drove him around the parking lot, came back and stopped while placing her bus loading and unloading lights on and putting out the lighted stop sign at the front of the bus, plus the guard arm at the front of the bus. After all this was done, Theresa took Deacon on a tour of the bus showing him everything. Nancy's smile was a "mile wide", and I can only speculate that she took this wonderful memory with her as she passed. It was definitely fun to see it all done and seeing her face regarding it all.
Hugs to all, Jan (Skip) Miller

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I'm heartily sorry to hear it...

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Puddintane's picture

And wish you and yours the very, very best.

Puddin'

-

Cheers,

Puddin'

A tender heart is an asset to an editor: it helps us be ruthless in a tactful way.
--- The Chicago Manual of Style

I am so sorry

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Andrea Lena's picture

...my heart is saddened by your loss. Andrea

  

To be alive is to be vulnerable. Madeleine L'Engle
Love, Andrea Lena

Sorry to hear your sad news

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Jan

Losing family members is always difficult. You have our sympathy, support and best wishes at this time.

If you're unaware of the grieving process, it's worth finding out about it so that you are able to understand your feelings as you progress through the various stages.

PS
NZ

Bike Resources

My deepest condolences...

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I'm not sure that there's ever really such a thing as a "good" way to die. Passing, as you say, peacefully and in one's sleep is probably the closest, however, and I'm glad that her suffering is over, and that you can seek some peace now in that.

The scene you describe with your grandson is a dear, precious thing, and I cried reading about it. I'm glad she was able to see that. It hopefully made her passing gentler.

*hugs!* and best wishes for you and your family as you mourn. May all the bad memories fly away, and leave you all with only the best ones.

-Liz

-Liz

Successor to the LToC
Formerly known as "momonoimoto"

My condolances

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I grieve for your loss as I had lost my wife to the terrible C. As others have said seek out others to help you through the process of grieving. I did not care if I cried in front of others over my loss as I believed it was the right thing to do for my children. We talk about her still to this day and it helps.

Thanks for sharing with us

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erin's picture

Loss is not easier to bear for being shared but it sweetens the memory. All best wishes to you and your family. Remember that all life is connected and as long as any of us lives, part of all of us live on.

Hugs,
Erin

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

My condolences

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My prayers are with you and yours.

Wren

My Sincere Condolences

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joannebarbarella's picture

All deaths are a tragedy, but what a beautiful way to send her off,

Hugs,

Joanne

So sorry

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Remember her with love.

I HATE seeing loved one's die.

That Irish poet, Dylan Thomas was right, don't go easy into the night.

John in Wauwatosa

John in Wauwatosa

MY DEEPEST SYMPATHY

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ALISON

'in your sad loss.May she rest in peace.My prayers are for you and your family and your dear departed.May God bless you.

ALISON

My deepest sympathies.

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And those of my family as well. May you treasure the good times you had together and hold her close in your heart.

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Abby

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My Condolences

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Jan,

I want to send you my condolences. Thank you for sharing the story about Nancy and Deacon and the Bus. I pray that God will grant His peace and comfort to you and your family.

Please remember that you have people who care, Here, and that we are but a click away. If there is anything else, specific I can pray for, please let me know.

Beth

Ahh

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kristina l s's picture

having been in a not dissimilar situation I have an idea of how you feel. You did the best you could I'm sure and she knew it. That scene with bus was absolutely lovely, a moment out for her and an on-going memory for you and the rest of the family. Keep the smile there even as you cry 'cause good memories beat the pain, even if it doesn't quite go away.

Take care.

Kristina

sorry

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to hear of your loss. I married way back in 75, and would be totally lost without her after all these years. After losing both in laws and both parents, I can say it gets easier, but those are nothing like a wife.

I am glad

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bobbie-c's picture

If I could make the fondest wish of someone I loved come true before he or she passed away, it would truly be a blessing.  What your family did was wonderful.

No one can really know how it is to lose a loved one, unless someone has gone through the same thing.  

I have not yet lost a partner/husband/wife, so I cannot really know, but only empathize and try to imagine the heartache and loss you must be feeling.  In your shoes, I can only imagine how long that one year and seven months must have been, especially knowing that, at the end of it all, your wife will pass away, and you enduring the intervening time, trying to fill her remaining days with as much happiness as you can contrive, trying to ease the pain as much as you can, and you bottling up your grief so that you can spare her your own pain.

In your shoes, I can only imagine how selfish you must have felt for, surely, at times, all you saw was your own grief and, in those fleeting moments, forget her grief.

I can only imagine, in those long days, your grief must have mutated into something other than just grief, that, in your heart of hearts, you asked that this end now, and spare both you, her and the family further pain. 

I can only imagine.

But she has passed away, and I am glad.  Though that sounds heartless, I am glad.

Not for her passing away. Not for her leaving.  I hope to have my own partner-in-life someday, and I cannot imagine anyone getting over the loss of a love.

No.  It's because it means that her suffering, and yours and your family's, can now end and perhaps you can move on and find closure.  That's why I'm glad.

I don't know if you're a Christian.  But I am, and part of my faith says, when one dies, one moves on to a better place.  That's why I'm glad.  I do not know if I will still believe that if and when a loved one of mine dies.  But I'd like to think I would.  I hope that you would believe, too.  

my sincerest condolences.   

   Â 

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To see Bobbie's Working Girl blogs, click this link: http://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/19261/working-girl-blogs
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This was

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the first post I read this morning and am in tears even as I write this. I love the fact that your family did the school bus thing for your wife. Her smiling I take as a victory of maybe she didn't get to reach the actual date but she still got to beat that wretched disease and she did get to have that memory. Nothing can take that away from any of you, and I'm sure that everyone going through so much just for her to have that is something she can hold in her soul and say. "See, see how awesome my family is. See how lucky I am. I love them so much."
*Hugs*
Bailey.

Bailey Summers

So sorry for your loss.

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KristineRead's picture

Janice,

So sorry for your loss, you and your family will be in the Roland families thoughts today.

Hugs,

Kristy

I can only imagine,

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The mix of feelings within yours and your family's hearts at this time. The scene you described moved me to tears, as I know it did all of us here at Top Shelf. Death is never an easy thing with which to deal, and each of us handles it in different ways, I'm sure. I hope that you can keep uppermost in your mind, the wonderful gifts she gave to you and your family, and the magnificent gift you all gave to her, both through her life, and at the end of it where she realized a goal I'm sure she didn't believe she would achieve.

You have both my deepest condolences, and my heartfelt wishes that you will continue to celebrate her life by living yours in a manner which would have made her happy and proud.

My heart goes out to you and yours. I will keep you all in my thoughts and in my prayers, this day and in days to come. May God bless you all.

in shared sadness,
Catherine Linda Michel

As a T-woman, I do have a Y chromosome... it's just in cursive, pink script. Y_0.jpg

Cheerish the Memories

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No words can ever express the loss you have suffered and no words can take away the pain and heartache you have. Please cheerish the memories of your life together and the gifts the two of have shared, be they children, grandchildren, a trip, an evening together with friends, or a moment shared looking at the stars.

May you find peace and contentment as you go forward.

With a prayer in my heart for you and tear in my eye - Peace

Dru

As always,

Dru

Losing a loved one.

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It is unbelievably hard to lose someone we care for. I am so sorry that you had to experience this.

Many Blessings

Gwen

My deepest

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My deepest condolences to you and your family. Your wife's pain is at an end, and hopefully your own pain and sense of loss will ease as it should, with time.

CaroL

CaroL

Sorry

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to hear of your loss. Happy to hear that your family was able to at least partly realize her dream.

Some days you're the pigeon, some days you're the statue

Condolences

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I'm very sorry for your loss. God bless.

Daniel, author of maid, whore, bimbo, and sissy free TG fiction since 2000

What the world needs is more geniuses with humility; there are so few of us left.- Oscar Levant

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